Black Women are meant to wear relaxers….

[Kinkyhairlady]

Okay before anyone jumps down my throat those were not my words. I was having a discussion with a friend of mine and she said this to me because since I have gone natural I have just been wearing braids and weaving my hair. So she asked why I did not just wear it out and honestly it is because 1 it is not long enough yet and 2 it is too hard to manage. When I told her that she said the reason why it is hard to manage is because it is Nappy and black women were meant to wear relaxers and that she would never take hers out. She said the only way a black girl can go natural is if she had naturally good hair, which to her means curly soft hair. Anyways I did not go deeper in the conversion with her cause I was not trying to argue for something so stupid.

The discussion did have me thinking though about myself and others who are natural. I noticed a lot of women who have decided to go natural do end up wearing weaves and braiding their hair up more than they did when they were relaxed. I myself have become a slave to weaves and braids since being natural. I am not sure how I will be once my hair is longer but my texture is 4a and I really cannot see myself dealing with it daily. Though I don’t want a relaxer ever I do think it was easier then dealing with my natural hair but I refuse to go back now.

So what do you ladies think about this. Going natural only to be wearing weaves and braids or just keeping relaxed hair and only having to worry about wash and sets every two weeks. Also this goes for women who go natural only to get a press and curl every week, I don’t get that either. Open for discussion….

 

[LongHairNWaiting]

I say either way it's your choice! Just because you go Natural doesn't mean that you don't want a break from doing hair.

I would also say, that maybe you should do some research online to learn how to style natural hair so that you can sport your own!

It takes AS MUCH ENERGY to do Natural hair as it does doing Relaxed hair. You just have to learn how.

Good Luck!

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

You have choices. Use them.

 

[Amerie123]

most ppl who eventually go natural usually wear their natural hair out and styled.. I rarely see where they mainly wear braids/weaves.. Maybe while they're in the TWA phase, or on LHCF trying to reach a goal. but other than that, I think ppl when they go natural end up sporting their hair out more than when they were relaxed.. Just my observation.

ETA: your friend sounds a lil ignorant.. glad you didn't argue w/ her. I'm so done w/ those comments.

 

[diva24]

You have choices. Use them.

I could hug you or this!

 

[afrikurl]

You can wear your natural hair in styles that you dont have to do every day. If your hair is short you may want to try coils. They take a long time to do but you can rock your hair for about two weeks, then you can do a coil out for a few days. Also If you prefer straight hair, or it suits your lifestyle better, then straighten it.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

I could hug you or this!

Aw! Come here, sugar!! lol

 

[tatiana]

Relaxers were originally made and marketed for black men not black women.

I do not care if a natural wears a press and curl, weave or braids but she should know how to take care of her hair in her natural state if not for her do it for future daughter and/or future granddaughters.

 

[NIN4eva]

Sounds like generation upon generation of negative conditioning. Sad.

 

[knt1229]

I was just thinking to myself the other day that alot of natural ladies on hairboards seem to be in weaves and braids. I don't know if that's true or just my perception based on the posts I tend to read. I started wondering what was the point of them going natural. But that's neither here nor there because it's their hair, not mine.

Alot, of AA's have no idea how to style or care for afro textured hair. It is what it is. It's not worth arguing with your friend because many many black folk (even ladies on hairboards) feel the same as she does and that's not going to change anytime soon. The best you can do is learn how to care for and style your hair. There are many YT tutorials, other hairboards, and info on this site on natural hairstyles.

Get busy searching and learning how to properly manage your hair so you can rock some of the fly hairdo's I have seen on some of the natural ladies on this site.

At the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is the one you have of yourself. So don't trip over other people's ideas and opinions on your hair. Don't let their problems become your problem.

 

[Solitude]

Your friend is mis-guided. No one was "meant" to wear a relaxer. Natural hair can be manageable.

 

[glamazon386]

I don't see it any different than relaxed women who wear weaves and braids all the time. Think about how many BW you encounter on a daily basis who are not wearing their own hair. More than likely they are relaxed because most black women are still relaxing. It's your head do what you want with it.

As far as the BW were meant to wear relaxers comment goes . Your friend has been brainwashed. Also people go natural for different reasons. Everybody does not want to "return to their roots" so to speak. To each his own. I'd rather have nappy hair than no hair though. And that's exactly where the relaxer was taking me...

 

[Solitude]

I was just thinking to myself the other day that alot of natural ladies on hairboards seem to be in weaves and braids. I don't know if that's true or just my perception based on the posts I tend to read. I started wondering what was the point of them going natural. But that's neither here nor there because it's their hair, not mine.

Alot, of AA's have no idea how to style or care for afro textured hair. It is what it is. It's not worth arguing with your friend because many many black folk (even ladies on hairboards) feel the same as she does and that's not going to change anytime soon. The best you can do is learn how to care for and style your hair. There are many YT tutorials, other hairboards, and info on this site on natural hairstyles.

Get busy searching and learning how to properly manage your hair so you can rock some of the fly hairdo's I have seen on some of the natural ladies on this site.

At the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is the one you have of yourself. So don't trip over other people's ideas and opinions on your hair. Don't let their problems become your problem.

I noticed the same thing and then came to the same conclusion. I was also thinking about how many women with relaxed hair also wear weaves/wigs/braids, so I guess it's kind of a draw.

 

[Solitude]

I don't see it any different than relaxed women who wear weaves and braids all the time. Think about how many BW you encounter on a daily basis who are not wearing their own hair. More than likely they are relaxed because most black women are still relaxing. It's your head do what you want with it.

As far as the BW were meant to wear relaxers comment goes . Your friend has been brainwashed. Also people go natural for different reasons. Everybody does not want to "return to their roots" so to speak. To each his own. I'd rather have nappy hair than no hair though. And that's exactly where the relaxer was taking me...

It's hard to tell, though - whether their hair is natural or relaxed. Actually, it's impossible to tell unless you know them.

 

[BostonMaria]

You did mention that you wear braids because you find your hair unmanageable. So maybe she's just basing it off your reaction to your own hair. I have friends with natural hair that won't be caught dead without a weave or braids. I haven't seen their hair in YEARS. I also have many more friends that have natural hair and they rollerset, wash and go, twist, wear puffs, ponytails, etc... I say that's more the norm. Or at least around where I live.

Women weren't meant to wear relaxers or BKT or gel or mousse or hair dye. We do those things as a choice. I don't believe in "only good hair should be natural" because that's just ridiculous. BTW if you go on Youtube you will find lots of styling options for 4a hair. If you take baby steps you can wear your hair out. For example, when I first BC'd I wore wash n go's in between straight styles just so I could get used to my hair. I am not anti-weave or braids, but if you don't get used to styling your own hair (relaxed or natural) you can't learn. Just my dos centavos!

- Maria

 

[DarkVictory]

Anyways I did not go deeper in the conversion with her cause I was not trying to argue for something so stupid.

Good for you - waste of time.

Wonder if she's kin to the woman on my block who won't speak when my wooly wash-n-go is showing but will when it's covered?

Though I don’t want a relaxer ever I do think it was easier then dealing with my natural hair but I refuse to go back now.

There's a reason why people say natural hair is a journey. Weaves, braids, wigs, hats, headwraps are all ways to deal with the different phases, like the awkward stage of growing out a TWA, or just to acheive a different look. IMO dealing with it gets easier over time as you learn your own styling methods and as your confidence level increases.

There are a lot of threads on here where someone says she took out her braids/weave and decided not to put it back because after giving it a rest she liked her own hair.

 

[Eluv]

I think most naturals wear their hair out, but unless I know them personally I probably wouldn’t know any difference.

Well, I honestly believe I look better with long hair so I wore wigs daily to cover my see through SL relaxed hair. So it was no big deal to BC to go natural, because no one would know. After a year of being natural I wanted to learn how to take better care of my own hair and stop hiding behind wigs. Now after wearing my own hair for so long, covering my hair with wigs isn’t happening, it’s just uncomfortable.

So IMO going natural to only start covering your hair with wigs/weaves/braids is just that a cover up, we need to learn how to manage our own hair whether it’s natural or relaxed.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

I was just thinking to myself the other day that alot of natural ladies on hairboards seem to be in weaves and braids. I don't know if that's true or just my perception based on the posts I tend to read. I started wondering what was the point of them going natural. But that's neither here nor there because it's their hair, not mine.

Alot, of AA's have no idea how to style or care for afro textured hair. It is what it is. It's not worth arguing with your friend because many many black folk (even ladies on hairboards) feel the same as she does and that's not going to change anytime soon. The best you can do is learn how to care for and style your hair. There are many YT tutorials, other hairboards, and info on this site on natural hairstyles.

Get busy searching and learning how to properly manage your hair so you can rock some of the fly hairdo's I have seen on some of the natural ladies on this site.

At the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is the one you have of yourself. So don't trip over other people's ideas and opinions on your hair. Don't let their problems become your problem.

This is exactly how I view it too because I read alot on the hair boards and I notice folks stating they are natural but 80% of the time the hair is weaved up so I don't get what the point is. I do it myself but I need to stop. I know many folks around my area who do the same thing. been natural for years yet I have only seen their real hair a couple of times. It just makes you wonder why go natural just to wear fake hair which is not natural.

I just ordered a natural hair book by Chirico or something like that and I can't wait to get it. Once I start reading it I will take the weave out and start experimenting with my hair, hopefully I don't get frustrated.

 

[JuiceMobsta]

Okay before anyone jumps down my throat those were not my words. I was having a discussion with a friend of mine and she said this to me because since I have gone natural I have just been wearing braids and weaving my hair. So she asked why I did not just wear it out and honestly it is because 1 it is not long enough yet and 2 it is too hard to manage. When I told her that she said the reason why it is hard to manage is because it is Nappy and black women were meant to wear relaxers and that she would never take hers out. She said the only way a black girl can go natural is if she had naturally good hair, which to her means curly soft hair. Anyways I did not go deeper in the conversion with her cause I was not trying to argue for something so stupid.

If that were the case then relaxers would have existed since the beginning of time...

 

[knt1229]

This is exactly how I view it too because I read alot on the hair boards and I notice folks stating they are natural but 80% of the time the hair is weaved up so I don't get what the point is. I do it myself but I need to stop. I know many folks around my area who do the same thing. been natural for years yet I have only seen their real hair a couple of times. It just makes you wonder why go natural just to wear fake hair which is not natural.

I just ordered a natural hair book by Chirico or something like that and I can't wait to get it. Once I start reading it I will take the weave out and start experimenting with my hair, hopefully I don't get frustrated.

That's a good start and when you get frustrated you can always come to LHCF.

 

[locabouthair]

Okay before anyone jumps down my throat those were not my words. I was having a discussion with a friend of mine and she said this to me because since I have gone natural I have just been wearing braids and weaving my hair. So she asked why I did not just wear it out and honestly it is because 1 it is not long enough yet and 2 it is too hard to manage. When I told her that she said the reason why it is hard to manage is because it is Nappy and black women were meant to wear relaxers and that she would never take hers out. She said the only way a black girl can go natural is if she had naturally good hair, which to her means curly soft hair. Anyways I did not go deeper in the conversion with her cause I was not trying to argue for something so stupid.
The discussion did have me thinking though about myself and others who are natural. I noticed a lot of women who have decided to go natural do end up wearing weaves and braiding their hair up more than they did when they were relaxed. I myself have become a slave to weaves and braids since being natural. I am not sure how I will be once my hair is longer but my texture is 4a and I really cannot see myself dealing with it daily. Though I don’t want a relaxer ever I do think it was easier then dealing with my natural hair but I refuse to go back now.

So what do you ladies think about this. Going natural only to be wearing weaves and braids or just keeping relaxed hair and only having to worry about wash and sets every two weeks. Also this goes for women who go natural only to get a press and curl every week, I don’t get that either. Open for discussion….

I can't stand that type of thinking. This is exactly why I dont talk about hair with people. Anyone ask about my hair I change the subject.

Anyway yes I notice a lot of naturals wear a lot of braids and weaves.

Dont feel pressured to wear your hair a certain way. It's YOUR hair. You do what makes you happy.

 

[LadyRaider]

I don't wear wigs or weaves or braids but I assume a lot of naturals are wearing those as protective styles.

 

[caribeandiva]

It's your hair. Do what you want with it. As for me I'm staying relaxed for now.

 

[MissAn]

It takes AS MUCH ENERGY to do Natural hair as it does doing Relaxed hair. You just have to learn how.

you can say that again!!

i felt my hair was actually more versatile, stronger, and shinier while natural, but IMO they both take just as much effort. i didn't do braids or weave much. i went back to relaxed on one humid day in summer 2 years ago. i'll transition back some day.

"black women are meant to wear relaxers" is an ignorant statement for sure.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Your friend is definitely brain-washed but I think you still have alot of self-acceptance and discovery to make about your hair as well.

Every hair-type can be styled and handled beautifully with proper know-how and technique.

If hair is ever unmanageable, it means you haven't learned to properly manage it yet.

I have 4a hair and I'm often overwhelmed by the style choices I have and which to do next.

I see that you're a newer poster, I think if you really explore this board and fotki's take it all in you'll have your perspective expanded and you'll begin to understand the proper techniques for caring for and styling 4a hair.