Big chop, transition, or relax??

[love2praz]

I am so confused right now!! I just don't know what to do with my hair!!!

I have about 2 inches of new growth and the textures are in a battle!! I can't style my hair at all like I used to and when I do, it comes out looking totally jacked up!! Not to mention, my 2 inches of new growth are my natural hair color which is dark brown and my relaxed ends are light brown!!

I just need some encouragement, words of wisdom, or just some plain advice! I'm really at the point that as soon as I get home, I need to do something....whether it's breaking out a box perm or getting some scissors!!

I'm supposed to be transitioning but I don't know....I just know that is almost impossible for me to go much longer with these ultra-thick roots and relaxed ends....

HELP!

 

[nurseN98]

Well, why are you transitioning? If you don't mind me asking? The answer to that question should point you in the right direction...

 

[love2praz]

I'm tired of relaxing....I guess my hair was doing just fine until I decided to color between touchups. Ever since then, it's been breaking. Especially in the front. And then I read of such positive transitioning experiences from other LHCF members and I thought I could do it too!

But I realize I have a different hair texture....4a/b/z....

I get frustrated too easily. I mean, I really hate to see all of my progress go down the drain. I had shoulder length hair until I took my braids out. The color (or braids) completely chewed up my ends that I had to cut about 2-3 inches off and that "cut" wasn't even so I have a billion layers.....

I'm just so irritated and I don't know what to do!!

I even thought of getting a touch up and getting a short bob cut to start all over again....

 

[nurseN98]

Oh, ok. Don't do anything drastic...PUT DOWN THE SCISSORS. It sounds like first of you may need a real good protein/deep conditioning treatment to stop the breakage, especially after the braids. Other than that, just think about your options.
Option#1 Big chop-you'll have 2 inches of natural hair, no worrying about a perm but you may get bored unless you put a weave or braids into it.

Option#2 Transition-I'm doing this now....can I just say two words, long and tedious and sometimes frustrating (I know that was 4) If you are tired with your hair now, this ain't gonna work for you for much longer....when your hair is 3-4 inches, that's a whole other realm!

Option#3 Protein/deep condition....baby your hair for about a week or two then reperm CAREFULLY.

Option#4 Protein/deep condition...baby your hair for a week and go back into braids for some more lenghth and then do a cut (I personally wouldn't do this but I know folks who have and it has worked for them when it came time to even out the ends....It didn't look like so much hair was lost)

So relax, inhale...................exhale................

 

[love2praz]

Actually since I took out my braids a week ago today, I've deep conditioned using the Ouidad method that Hairlove posted last week. I have seen improvement with the breakage. So I know that is working.

The transition is just so darn slow! It's true that when I had braids, I didn't have to worry about it but I can't imagine sitting in a chair for any length of time to get those again. Same goes to cornrows....I think that I just hate the fact of going into a salon for anything anymore.

The sad thing with my feelings right now is that I've been this way before. Two years ago, I cut off all my hair to a TWA.....That lasted for 4 months and then I got a relaxer....I couldn't control my hair in its natural state. (Really, I just didn't know how to control it.)

I'm still confused!

 

[lsubabiedee]

hey love2praz, it's ok that ur confused and frustrated, transitions can be both, and it's normal...

Im just wondering what styles you are doing on ur hair...try styles that require minimal manipulation and dont put too much stress on the two textures...

also, ya gonna have to learn to care for ya natural hair...i'd hate for you to transition successfully and then relax again b/c u cant control ur hair...

 

[inthepink]

love2praz,

Maybe you need to really think about what you want - what is best for you and what is best for your hair. Will you want to spend the time needed to style your natural hair? Do you have an easier time styling your relaxed hair? Sometimes we just have to face the facts and do what's best for our hair. Just because someone else has an easy time with a relaxer, doesn't mean eveyrone else will....same goes for natural hair.

If you think you can have healthy hair with it relaxed, maybe that is what you should do.

As far as getting a bob. Maybe that is a good idea. Stop trimming your own hair. Go to a professional sooner than later and get your hair trimmed evenly to a good starting point. I am sure you will like your hair so much better than you do now.

Just offering suggestions on some things to think about.

 

[nurseN98]

it seems like you aren't transitioning because you've had a feeling that you can wear your hair natural and be comfortable with it. Have you been on www.Nappturality.com? If you haven't and you are seriously thinking to transition just to be natural for good then that site has a lot of great information on different styles you could use.

Other than that, if you want to really stay out of the salon, then self-relaxing may be for you. I did my own hair for 10years before I decided to transition. It worked out fine for me and I never had to once step foot into a salon for anything.

I don't mean to be vague but I can't tell you " yeah girl, cut all your hair off" if that's not what you want to do. The hair you have can be salvaged if you work with it but that depends on what you want. And since you said you've been through this before and ended up perming, it seems like you weren't natural for reasons that would make you say "no matter what happens, I'm gonna stay natural" So if you are not feeling deeply about being natural, then maybe now is not the right time for you to go natural.

Maybe do some more research before you make a decision.

 

[love2praz]

Thank you all for your kind words.....Maybe I am in this transition for the wrong reasons.....I guess it's easier to try to hop on the bandwagon because others are having such good results.....

lsubabiedee--I've done every transitional style I can think of---nothing just seems to work for me successfully...

Hairlove--what you said made a whole lot of sense and thank you for taking the time to write down your thoughts--they are really making me examine my true reasons....

Nurse98--I've been to Nappturality..and what you said also made a lot of sense....

I hate feeling so confused about this!

 

[lsubabiedee]

u poor thing...i suggest that u dont rush into something without considering all factors...there's a thread about it somewhere....lawd...i hope i can find it to bump it for u!

 

[nurseN98]

[ QUOTE ]
lsubabiedee said:
u poor thing...i suggest that u dont rush into something without considering all factors...there's a thread about it somewhere....lawd...i hope i can find it to bump it for u!

[/ QUOTE ]
I agree...don't stress to much though....it will work out!

 

[love2praz]

Well, it did work out! And I feel much happier now! I just want to thank you all very much for your advice!

Yesterday, I decided to touch up my 4 months of new growth with Affirm, applied a black semi-permanent rinse, and roller wrapped. I trimmed the scraggly ends and now I am left with a very cute and healthy chin length bob!

I'm happy with my decision and have no regrets at all! At least I know now that I can go 4 months between touchups--although I don't think I will ever go that long....

Again, thanks to everyone that contributed to this thread!

 

[inthepink]

love2praz,

Congrats on your decision! With everything you can learn from this forum, you can have healthy relaxed hair hair.

 

[nurseN98]

Good for you, you did what makes you most comfortable.