cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
Hello Ladies:
I have a bit of a problem ladies. There's a guy that one of my friends connected me to because of a business venture I started. He's kind of "in the same field." Anyway, we got to talking and I think he's cool and all, but right now, there aren't any romantic feelings. Also, I'm kind of "in transition," meaning, I'm not sure if I'm moving, and I don't really want to be "in a relationship" with anyone until I get my own house in order (if you know what I mean
). I put off my "personal life" while I finished school, so I could concentrate on that, so I wasn't doing a whole lot of dating. I've decided that I would really like to date (casually). There will be no nookie, but I just want to meet people and not be so serious. Most of my life, I was so serious, just waiting around for Mr. Right. Oh, and I'm not old or anything, I'm still in my mid 20's, but I was acting like a 35 year old when I was 18, and now I'm kinda ready to act like an 18 year old, but I'm a little older
Anyway, he told my friend that he's never met anyone like me, and now he's pursuing me............HARD! And I appreciate his kindness, but I truly feel that we are at two different places.
Here's where the dilemma comes in. It's not just like any other guy who I would just say "oh, I'm not feeling him, bad timing, etc." He's been through A LOT of personal tragedy recently (his own illness, immediate family deaths, etc.). He's really depressed, so I've really tried to be there for him. He's a really private person, and he doesn't "let others in," so I take the fact that he shares so much with me very seriously. I haven't known him very long, so a part of me is surprised he "trusts me so much," but I seem to have this ability to get people to open up without prying.
Also, his last relationship was bad. When he was sick (had a terminal illness, but is recovering) the girl was unfaithful to him. I think it has to do with the fact that they were really young (late teens/early 20's), and she was dishonest, but she was also probably overwhelmed by the magnitude of what was going on. He feels very bad about everything, and especially about his appearance (the treatments took a major toll on his appearance). I try to remind him that he's getting better everyday and not to focus too much on his appearance. I think he's just so lonely b/c of everything that's happened, and he's trying to fill a void (which I can understand)!
I feel sad that he's been through so much, and I want to be there for him, but I cannot be in a relationship right now. And I could "be with him," just to make him happy, but I think that's cheating him and I also think it's cheating myself. I would like to take things slow and get to know him. I feel like I'm still getting to know myself
Any advice?
I have a bit of a problem ladies. There's a guy that one of my friends connected me to because of a business venture I started. He's kind of "in the same field." Anyway, we got to talking and I think he's cool and all, but right now, there aren't any romantic feelings. Also, I'm kind of "in transition," meaning, I'm not sure if I'm moving, and I don't really want to be "in a relationship" with anyone until I get my own house in order (if you know what I mean
). I put off my "personal life" while I finished school, so I could concentrate on that, so I wasn't doing a whole lot of dating. I've decided that I would really like to date (casually). There will be no nookie, but I just want to meet people and not be so serious. Most of my life, I was so serious, just waiting around for Mr. Right. Oh, and I'm not old or anything, I'm still in my mid 20's, but I was acting like a 35 year old when I was 18, and now I'm kinda ready to act like an 18 year old, but I'm a little olderAnyway, he told my friend that he's never met anyone like me, and now he's pursuing me............HARD! And I appreciate his kindness, but I truly feel that we are at two different places.
Here's where the dilemma comes in. It's not just like any other guy who I would just say "oh, I'm not feeling him, bad timing, etc." He's been through A LOT of personal tragedy recently (his own illness, immediate family deaths, etc.). He's really depressed, so I've really tried to be there for him. He's a really private person, and he doesn't "let others in," so I take the fact that he shares so much with me very seriously. I haven't known him very long, so a part of me is surprised he "trusts me so much," but I seem to have this ability to get people to open up without prying.
Also, his last relationship was bad. When he was sick (had a terminal illness, but is recovering) the girl was unfaithful to him. I think it has to do with the fact that they were really young (late teens/early 20's), and she was dishonest, but she was also probably overwhelmed by the magnitude of what was going on. He feels very bad about everything, and especially about his appearance (the treatments took a major toll on his appearance). I try to remind him that he's getting better everyday and not to focus too much on his appearance. I think he's just so lonely b/c of everything that's happened, and he's trying to fill a void (which I can understand)!
I feel sad that he's been through so much, and I want to be there for him, but I cannot be in a relationship right now. And I could "be with him," just to make him happy, but I think that's cheating him and I also think it's cheating myself. I would like to take things slow and get to know him. I feel like I'm still getting to know myself
Any advice?
