Babies!! Now or Later??

Oneprettypa

Oneprettypa

New Member
Q: How long did you ladies wait to have babies???

My hubs and I have been together 7, married 2.5 and neither one of us have gotten the baby bug yet? I go through my moments of "baby fever" but I get over it quickly!!! Lol

I'm knocking on 30 so I know I still have a few years buuuuuut I don't want to be the super old mom at the PTA events... And I'm balancing a steer as well (so is he)...

Let me know your thoughts!!!

Excuse the typos!!! Siri acts funny on my phone sometimes~

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
My exH and I were 33 together 15.5 years when DD came (she was a surprise--I was told I was infertile!). You still have time, but consider if you have one, you might want another...if you wait too long it gets harder to get pregnant as you get closer to perimenopaus (40ish). And conception does not always happen the first couple months. Could take a year or longer, esp as you wait for hormonal BC to wash out of your system (if you are on BC).

Be sure to see a doc and confirm that all is a go (healthy reproductive organs) for you and your hubby before you delay..delay...delay lol. Sometimes that might decide things for you! My friend waited til she was 35, found out not only was her husband shooting semi-blanks (he was at 20%) she had fertility probs. Took another 3 years for a medically assisted pregnancy to stick (and $80k later). Not everyone has such bad luck...but it's good to go in armed.

Best of luck on your family planning!
 
ITA with the previous poster. If you are thinking of delaying, get checked out now. We delayed until I turned 29 because we thought we had tons if time. We wanted two children three years apart so we really planned it. Now I'm pushing 31 and being told we need IVF which puts us another year out. I think it is a commonly held belief that women can have babies anytime under 40 but the fact is that by the time you hit 30 your peak fertility has already passed.
 
I'm 31 and DH is 32. We've been married 7.5 years and recently started trying for a baby. We want a child, but I wouldn't really call it baby fever/bug. It's more like it's time to do this. :lol: We want two kids. I'm already thinking about names, daycare, cloth versus disposable diapers, where we'd move for a better school district in a few years... I do think about what our kids would look like. I'm sure the real fuzzy feelings about it will come if/when I get pregnant.
 
Last edited:
You've got time.

Fertility does start to decline from the late 30's on and the average age of menopause is 50.
The other thing is risk of birth defects eg Downs are higher with increasing age as well as pregnancy & delivery complications. It's just something to be aware of.
Still, many women are having relatively safe & healthy pregnancies at older ages what with advanced in medicine.

Sent from my iPhone
 
Last edited:
I'm finishing up my last few rotations for PA school and I jut finished OBGYN. I spent all lady week delivering babies and while it was special and I enjoyed it, it definitely did NOT give me the baby bug! Lol I start Pediatrics next week so maybe something will give.

So let me ask this, as black women (I believe color barriers are still alive... I'm an officer in the military where I'm almost always the only one that looks like me), how are you all balancing children, career and a happy, healthy marriage?

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
DarkJoy said:
My exH and I were 33 together 15.5 years when DD came (she was a surprise--I was told I was infertile!). You still have time, but consider if you have one, you might want another...if you wait too long it gets harder to get pregnant as you get closer to perimenopaus (40ish). And conception does not always happen the first couple months. Could take a year or longer, esp as you wait for hormonal BC to wash out of your system (if you are on BC).

Be sure to see a doc and confirm that all is a go (healthy reproductive organs) for you and your hubby before you delay..delay...delay lol. Sometimes that might decide things for you! My friend waited til she was 35, found out not only was her husband shooting semi-blanks (he was at 20%) she had fertility probs. Took another 3 years for a medically assisted pregnancy to stick (and $80k later). Not everyone has such bad luck...but it's good to go in armed.

Best of luck on your family planning!
Click to expand...
@DarkJoy I m touched by your story ,what a blessing ! you must have been in disbelief when you found out u were pregnant :trampolin


Op ,I got pregnant with my son when i was 29 ,it wasn't planned and it was as shocking as exciting ,I WOULD NEVER go back to being without my little one ,he s the most ,special,precious little person i know ,my heart is filled with love for him ,a love so strong that you only get to know when you become a mother. Don't listen to people who have grown up kids telling you to "wait" they re just frustrated and take their blessings for granted ,trust me they would never go back to being without them in their lives.
I m turning 32 ,my son just turned 2 ,I m going to try for another one in a year or so .
 
Last edited:
SO and I aren't married yet, but we're planning on it, hopefully this time next year, but no ring, so not claiming it. Anyway, I'm 33, and though I'd like to have a baby after we get married, I also decided recently that I want to finish up my degree in another (somewhat related) field and then go to school in another field that will put me in higher income bracket. I'm kind of torn because I kind of want to get started with a family sooner rather than later, but I also want to finish up these things and have time as a couple as well. At this rate, I'll be 35 having a first child if all goes well. SO is several years older than me and that's a cause for concern as well (as far as possible age-related developmental problems with a child). So, IDK...so many decisions...
 
DarkJoy said:
My exH and I were 33 together 15.5 years when DD came (she was a surprise--I was told I was infertile!). You still have time, but consider if you have one, you might want another...if you wait too long it gets harder to get pregnant as you get closer to perimenopaus (40ish). And conception does not always happen the first couple months. Could take a year or longer, esp as you wait for hormonal BC to wash out of your system (if you are on BC).

Be sure to see a doc and confirm that all is a go (healthy reproductive organs) for you and your hubby before you delay..delay...delay lol. Sometimes that might decide things for you! My friend waited til she was 35, found out not only was her husband shooting semi-blanks (he was at 20%) she had fertility probs. Took another 3 years for a medically assisted pregnancy to stick (and $80k later). Not everyone has such bad luck...but it's good to go in armed.

Best of luck on your family planning!
Click to expand...

DarkJoy

Is it possible to do this? Me and SO joke about it, but thought it would cost a lot of money. What is involved? I know the men can get sperm looked at, but what are the procedures for the woman?

TIA
 
I'm 36 and SO is 46. We hinted at marriage and ONE child but I don't believe I'm ready now. I enjoy my free time and money that is only allocated to ONE person, me. I also have a lot of 'stuff' I want to experience still! Ugh, it's really a burden to think about especially since I'm a big planner. I'm afraid that when I'm ready it will be too late
:( I did a test and my results came back fine (it was a simple blood test). Not sure if SO is shooting blanks :S
 
Vanthie. The tests are pretty easy. Blood tests to check for healthy hormone levels for both you and SO. He would have to leave a semen sample to make sure he has enough healthy sperm. And for you, an ultrasound to check for things like fibroids and that your tubes are clear and your ovaries are smiling. That's kind of it.


Vanthie said:
@DarkJoy

Is it possible to do this? Me and SO joke about it, but thought it would cost a lot of money. What is involved? I know the men can get sperm looked at, but what are the procedures for the woman?

TIA
Click to expand...
 
Thanks so much. I am already scheduled for an ultrasound because of a few pains I've been having. Hopefully I could ask them then,
 
Vanthie,

My OB specializes in fertility stuff so his office recommended it. They are pushing for me to reproduce NOW...wait, like YESTERDAY. Kinda annoying....
 
I've been working in the neonatal nursery this week and although the babies are super cute, it's even cuter that I can go home to peace and quiet with no diapers to change!! Lol. Maybe we'll start in a couple years but I just don't think I'm ready. I am scared that something will happen to prolong pregnancy when I feel like I'm ready...

I am going to make the DH get his men checked out to make sure they swim correctly etc.
 
Vanthie said:
Thanks so much. I am already scheduled for an ultrasound because of a few pains I've been having. Hopefully I could ask them then,
Click to expand...

An ultrasound may not be enough to check if your tubes are patent. If you're concerned about your tubes, the tube dye test (HSG) is more accurate. The ultrasound can look at your womb, ovaries etc though. It's a good preliminary test to get. Hope it goes well.

Sent from my iPhone
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top