At a crossroad... back to the cramy crack or continue the transtion????

[shetara20]

Hello Ladies. I am currently 17 weeks post my last relaxer and I was planning on transitioning. But I really dont know if I can handle transitioning or even BCing...I dont know if I am strong enough to have the self esteem to have short hair. I think I am still in the mind set of relaxed is beautiful. I love my new growth but I am struggling with my transition because all I have been doing for the last 4.5 moinths has been either cornrows or bunning and I just dont feel cute anymore. I dont like weave like that and I dont do roller set because I dont know how(LOL) I feel that I have lost my "cute swag" and I walk around campus looking a mess because I feel that I dont do anything different with my hair. Sometimes I wanna go back to the creamy crack where I feel more comfortable and I feel pretty but I know I wanna transition for the pure health of my hair. I have been juggling with this decision about going back to relaxed or continuing transitioning to natural.

My question is.... how do you forced transitioner feel about truly going natural??? Do you have low self esteem because of the 2 textures??? How do you deal because I am struggling and feeling uncomfortable!!!!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

IMO a forced transitioner is not ready to be natural. Girl, you will be cute no matter what. If you want to end your transition and relax, you know we will support you. Do what you want to do with your hair. If you can cornrow, though, you can rock those rows and look hot. I'm sorry if I didn't make your decision any easier.

 

[Skiggle]

Well the ultimate
decision is up to you..
I'm transitioning through braids.. twists..
weave eventually..
*I can't even think
about using heat in my hair for
transitioning*
It doesn't make you less of a person
if you decide to relax in the end
IMO.
But I'm loving the progress I am
having with my hair..
it motivates...
When I took out my twists
I had to walk around at school
looking tore up..but hey *lol*
it's part of the process. *That's why
they invented hats, lol*
Do you.....
make yourself happy in the end.

 

[Carrie A]

Why not just chop now. When I was truly ready, I didn't care about my "homely" phase.

Just hook up your bun a bit and keep "swaggering".

 

[Denise11]

Your hair health doesn't have to be an issue if you relax. There's a whole lot of ladies here, including myself, with healthy hair that relax.

If you feel beautiful with relaxed hair, and you love the way you feel with relaxed hair, then why not relax. You've learned a lot from this site, enough to know how to take care of your hair correctly, whether it's natural or relaxed.

If you feel forced to transition, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Because when you feel forced to do ANYTHING, it not really what you want to do.

No matter what you choose we ALL will have your back!

 

[manter26]

To me being relaxed or natural is about whether u look good. U can look great with either style. It's a mental decision that you have to be certain about. And I mean CERTAIN. I BC'd in 2005 and thought I was ready to go natural. A few months later, I was relaxed again with super short hair.

If you are not ready to transition, don't feel guilty about relaxing. Do it and love it. When u have made the emotional decision to go natural, transitioning will be easy. (i'm saying this at only 4 wks post...but i cant wait to have a full head of natural hair.)

 

[ThickHair]

IMHO you are not ready to transition. If you were you would be comfortable no matter the stage of transition.

Relax if you want that swang, what's the big deal?

 

[gissellr78]

Hello Ladies. I am currently 17 weeks post my last relaxer and I was planning on transitioning. But I really dont know if I can handle transitioning or even BCing...I dont know if I am strong enough to have the self esteem to have short hair. I think I am still in the mind set of relaxed is beautiful. I love my new growth but I am struggling with my transition because all I have been doing for the last 4.5 moinths has been either cornrows or bunning and I just dont feel cute anymore. I dont like weave like that and I dont do roller set because I dont know how(LOL) I feel that I have lost my "cute swag" and I walk around campus looking a mess because I feel that I dont do anything different with my hair. Sometimes I wanna go back to the creamy crack where I feel more comfortable and I feel pretty but I know I wanna transition for the pure health of my hair. I have been juggling with this decision about going back to relaxed or continuing transitioning to natural.

My question is.... how do you forced transitioner feel about truly going natural??? Do you have low self esteem because of the 2 textures??? How do you deal because I am struggling and feeling uncomfortable!!!!

I don't think you are sure at all and you MUST be sure before taking this step....I am relaxing tomorrow...Join me lol

 

[Jadore_tay]

I think you should relax because I have a feeling you will not be happy with a twa by your statements. So join gissellr78 lol.
Good Luck!

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Transitioning is called transitioning for a reason because it is a real change in hair care, look, attitude about self. I hope you go for health; it gets easier for me the longer I go. The first year was hit or miss but I think I'll make it now..my soft waves keep me in it and the anticipation of twists and braids in public{minus wigs} has me so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[jetbeauty09]

IMO a forced transitioner is not ready to be natural. Girl, you will be cute no matter what. If you want to end your transition and relax, you know we will support you. Do what you want to do with your hair. If you can cornrow, though, you can rock those rows and look hot. I'm sorry if I didn't make your decision any easier.

IMO a forced transitioner can be ready to be natural if he/she is ready to learn about healthy haircare practices. Thats the role I fit into. I was a 3-5 week relaxing girl and putting heat on my hair every day and it started to fall out slowly but oh so surely. When I saw the lovely natural girls on Youtube, I knew that was what I needed to do and I was more then ready to be natural.

As far as the original poster, if by saying you were a forced transitioner means your hair was suffering by means of relaxing, I think relaxing would be the wrong answer, personally. Been there done that and my hair didn't thrive when I caved into the creamy crack and I've learned my lesson. Just try to remember the reason why you started to transition in the first place. Check out naturals on Fotki or Youtube to rekindle that love for your natural texture. If you still wanna do it, you're grown, do you

 

[shetara20]

bumping... need more opinions ladies!!!What should I do????

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

Well, it's your decision, relaxed or natural can be beautiful, I'm relaxed and I like my hair relaxed, but I know one day I will go natural...girl, ALL OF GOD'S CHILDREN ARE BEAUTIFUL.....so u should feel attractive no matter what your hair look like.....if people talk smack, let them talk smack.....they will talk smack if your hair is relaxed....so it does not matter, but transitioning is a mental thing....I don't encourage ladies to relaxed.....cuz I know it's a chemical and I don't want people to be like everyone "thinks" relaxers are good, it's YOUR choice....no one can decide for you.......I like my new growth texture too, and I LOVE my daugther's curls.....but I know mentally, I'm not ready to transition...cuz I know I have have to do the big chop and I will have to research on being natural......so what I think you should do, I don't know, but if your mind is not into changing.....then you should go back to what you know, and take care your hair regardless, and then you should try to decide mentally about going natural.....don't worry about not looking cute.....you are beautiful inside and out......your hair doesn't make the person who you are inside.....so if you really want to go natural then you have to really want it, going natural for a relaxed head is a change just like getting a hair cut....your mind has to be into it....so it's your decision.....and I hope this helped.......good luck in your decision.

 

[MummysGirl]

OP, how are you a forced transitioner? What made you decide to transition?

Like everyone's said here... it's all up to you. It's your hair and it's your decision.

Sorry I can't give you advice apart from... wait it out a couple of weeks and see how you feel.

good luck on your decision

 

[shetara20]

OP, how are you a forced transitioner? What made you decide to transition?

Like everyone's said here... it's all up to you. It's your hair and it's your decision.

Sorry I can't give you advice apart from... wait it out a couple of weeks and see how you feel.

good luck on your decision

Well I thought I would look cute when I went natural. But The best thing I know is relaxed hair but...... the last past relaxer I have had hasnt been the bet, there has been breakage and I can tell that my hair isnt healthy. Thats my fear! I rather have healthy hair thats natural that to have it relaxed looking a hot mess and breaking all over the place. I have been researching going natural ever since ive been transitioning and I feel like this is a big step in my life to take. I just wanna transition enough to feel comfortable when I BC. But I am not comfortable by any means to have short short hair. I dont think I could pull it off. But for now I guess I am going to continue and see what happens.

 

[RavenMaven]

I am not quite sure on how you feel about BCing, but that's what I would do. I am at the same point as you in my transition. I was going to BC but I just got micros instead. But in June I will BC. Maybe you should consider braids or BCing.

 

[shetara20]

I am not quite sure on how you feel about BCing, but that's what I would do. I am at the same point as you in my transition. I was going to BC but I just got micros instead. But in June I will BC. Maybe you should consider braids or BCing.

i might do braids but i am def not BCing right now.

 

[Prose Princess]

That's quite a predicament you're in. I've been sitting here trying to think of something to tell you because I'm kind of in the same boat as you, except that I'm planning on stretching for a good minute and then texlaxing instead of relaxing rather than transitioning to natural. I definitely know what you mean about not feeling cute sometimes, but it's really up to you to just carry yourself like you are ON POINT and do the best you can to look the part when it starts getting difficult like that. I can see how you may be having a hard time since your styling options are so limited...I don't know where I would be without rollersetting and my phony pony lol.

I guess if I were in your situation I would reserve a week every month or so in which I allowed myself to use heat to straighten my roots to pick up my spirits a bit. And since summer is approaching, you should definitely consider getting some braids (not micros, just regular cornrow braids, micros scare me). They'll hold a lot better with all of that new growth and it's inexpensive enough for you to get them often. You can even have someone you know do them for you if you know anyone who knows how to braid, so that's even better! I know this isn't the best advice, but I hope I was able to help a little bit! Good luck!

 

[Mwenye_Heri]

I am a LTT. As of today I am 60 weeks post relaxer. When I was at the beginning of my transition I was frustrated because I was dealing with two different textures, I didn't feel pretty because my hair was doing a thing of its own no matter what I did, and I was at the beginning of my journey not really sure why I relaxed in the first place(I was natural all of my life). There were times that I would make two appointments, 1)to the my creamy crack supplier, and 2) to my hair braider. I knew that I was making a big move but I wasn't sure if I could do it on my own.

As I stated earlier I am 60 weeks post. The hardest challenge for me at this point is what new protective style will I wear because I can get bored really quickly with my hair.

In order for you to continue on your transition, it is a matter of what protective styles that you like or want to try. I know a lot of people transition with twist outs and braid outs. During my transition (which is still going on) I have been in weaves, conrows, zillions/some ppl call them micros, kinky twist. It is whatever your personal preference is.

The one thing that motivates me now from not calling my creamy crack supplier is the health of my hair. When I first got my relaxer I was shoulder length in 2006. But 2 years later with the breakage and scissor happy stylist I went to NL. Now I am thick APL (with my straight ends still there) and I am just happy that I exceeded my goal of 1) nursing my hair back to health and 2) getting more length.

Sorry this is kind of long but I just wanted to share my experience with you.

 

[joytimes10]

I have come to a conclusion that I'm not in a place at this point where I can deal with natural hair. After a 9 month stretch, I will be relaxing in 1 week. I love stretching butI need to know that at some point the stretch will be over. One day I maight be ready. I hope you can come to a decision that you will be happy with.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

interesting thread. i have been in the same place as you op and as others have said, i just don't think you are ready yet.

i've tried to transition several times, i feel really let down when i relax, but every time i try, i feel like my mind is more where it needs to be for me to go through with it.

i've wanted my natural hair since i was a teen. now i'm in my mid twenties. it's been a long time coming and i'm still working on it.

hair is constantly growing. just relax. when it's time for you to be natural, you will know it and you won't go back to the creamy crack (did I just use that phrase?) . just allow yourself to evolve mentally and don't put pressure on yourself.

hth.

 

[pmichael52172]

I would be repeating what most have said but it looks like you and I are around the same "age" in this thing (4.5 months). I do not do fake hair at all - it's just not my thing, so I just keep working with my hair and becoming more creative. This is a challenge for me because my hair is too short to put into a ponytail.

Right now, spirals and messy curls are my saving grace. Straight styles are not cutting it anymore past 4 days or so. I go to a stylist every two weeks and that helps me a lot. She lightly presses my roots ONLY then flat irons the rest. When that gets old, I pin curl each loc with bobbi pins and hope for the best. One day, I'll feel like a bum and the next day, I'm squealing in the mirror with delight because I've found yet another cute style!

I'm not here to tell you if you're ready or not because it is a mind change as well so you will back up somedays. You're not a punk or sellout if you go back to relaxing nor are you a baby if you whine every step of the way through your transition. Do what makes you happy.