Arranged Marriage???

[vevster]

I know someone that was dating a hi profile black guy for
ten years. He appeared to have comittment issues.
So, when I heard she was getting married over the week
end, I thought the guy finally came correct.

WRONG

I hear she is marrying a guy 11 years her senior, but
actually LOOKS 20 years her senior. He looks older than her dad.

The people close the the family
is thinking that this is an arrangement of sorts.

I asked how the sex was between them and she said she
was holding off on that; and that is not typical of my friend.


I'm happy she got away from that loser user boyfriend, but I wished she had
found hot romance.



Thoughts?

 

[HAIRapy]

I'd get married for love, I may even get married for money but i'm not marrying because someone told me to. I just couldnt imagine having to marry someone because your family told you to.

Sent from my Samsung Epic

 

[vevster]

I'd get married for love, I may even get married for money but i'm not marrying because someone told me to. I just couldnt imagine having to marry someone because your family told you to.

Sent from my Samsung Epic

Well, I don't think she is being forced.

Arranged Marriage?


I think that she was not happy with her boyfriend and
finally agreed to be set up with the guy. More along the lines of
settling...

 

[Windsy]

Well she wanted to get married so she did; she found someone who was willing to marry her just as bad as she wanted to get married.

 

[tocktick]

Imo, if your friend thinks this is the smartest decision for her...then all the best to her. This situation may actually be more beneficial to her than it is to him - who knows what's going on behind the scenes? It seems no marriage, no matter the meeting or dynamics, is foolproof in this day and age.

i'm not marrying because someone told me to. I just couldnt imagine having to marry someone because your family told you to.

That would be forced marriage, not arranged. With an arranged marriage (if your family has set it up), your family is just playing match-maker, albeit kind of on an elevated level. However, you have a choice with regards to whether you want to go through with it or not.

 

[ThickHair]

That doesn't sound like an arranged marriage. It sounds like she really really wanted to get married and she found someone to marry her. It just wasn't her boyfriend of 10 years.

 

[Guitarhero]

Well, I don't think she is being forced.

Arranged Marriage?


I think that she was not happy with her boyfriend and
finally agreed to be set up with the guy. More along the lines of
settling...

I think I agree with you. If she doesn't look too happy, she's most-likely settling. I know this is not Entertainment, but I know that J-lo didn't love Marc...and look at how it ended up? She settled for the one who loved her...but it was not truly reciprocal. I just hope her new husband isn't as crazy as Marc Poor thing. May none of us "settle," ever!!!

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

Have your first kid and you will totally understand why families want to do this LOL. I don't believe it's a formula for lasting marriage in this day and age. Not that hot fiery passionate love affairs are necessarily it, either. I hope at least your friend really likes this man and he shows her a good time.

 

[Pat Mahurr]

It might not be that she's settling -- it could be that her needs, desires, and priorities have changed after spending 11 years with the first guy.

I think all marriages are an arrangement of sorts. When you're young, you might marry for passion or to start a family. When you're older, you might marry for stability or companionship. People get married for different reasons, and at different points in your life, your priorities change.

That said, I do hope your friend is happy with her decision, and that she's getting what she truly wants.

 

[ambergirl]

^^^ ITA

Not everybody is looking for the same things in marriage.Where I see people running into trouble is when they want one type of marriage (love) but marry for other reasons (security, kids) and then bash their head against a wall for years trying to make the marriage and their mate something they can't be.

 

[Windsy]

^^^ ITA

Not everybody is looking for the same things in marriage.Where I see people running into trouble is when they want one type of marriage (love) but marry for other reasons (security, kids) and then bash their head against a wall for years trying to make the marriage and their mate something they can't be.

Anyone who marries for love is a fool......fool I say!!!

There needs to be multiple reasons for one to enter into a marriage; Love should be one of them though not always the number one reason and though not always necessary.

 

[vevster]

Thanks for the responses, ladies... I wish her well.

 

[ambergirl]

Anyone who marries for love is a fool......fool I say!!!

There needs to be multiple reasons for one to enter into a marriage; Love should be one of them though not always the number one reason and though not always necessary.

And for some people it's critical. Like I said everybody wants differnt things the point is to know what are your bottom line "must haves" and act accordingly.

 

[vevster]

I think the guy is YUCK. But hey, it ain't me.