Are you the only one in your circle of friends.....

B

Bublin

Well-Known Member
...to date outside of your race?

And do you ever feel 'different' or does he feel like he doesn't really fit in?

Have your socialising habits changed ie you no longer/rarely go an all black club/venue/concert?

I'm bringing this up as a kind of spin-off to another thread for my own curiosity as i have never dated out of my race and am not friends with anyone who has.
 
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No a lot of my friends do/did, some married.


Have your socialising habits changed ie you no longer/rarely go an all black club/venue/concert?
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Habits haven't changed but I never did the above in the first place. Where I grew up it's predominitely white anyway with black being the second but with few other minorities. Unless I went into the city which I rarely did, I didn't frequent all black places.
 
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My "circle" isn't so tight any more just because folks moved away, got different interests, etc.

But among my general clique of black female friends, I probably am the only one to date outside my race.


These days though, my closest group of confidantes are mostly guys (cause of my profession), one Chinese-American woman and one Jewish woman... so it's hard to say if I'm still the only person in my group to date outside my race... but among my black female friends, the answer is yes.

None of my non-black dates have really had the chance to hang out with my black friends though, because I dated them when I lived in a different city away from my old friends. So I can't really answer the question about socialization, but it's a good one!
 
Thanks for the responses so far ladies.


vivmaiko said:
I'm the only one, I don't get flack about it.
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I'm sure you don't vivmaiko as they wouldn't be true friends but my question was more geared towards how, if at all, an interracial relationship changes socialising habits.
 
Thanks for the replies ladies.

I wonder how come there are so many threads where people are talking about having a white husband/boyfriend/fiance yet noone can comment about their social life?
 
I'm the only one. My friends and I used to always have discussions about race and society and now it's like my opinion doesn't count anymore. One time they were talking about how successful black men marry white women and how it doesn't make any sense. I have always played the devil's advocate so I said, maybe in their new environment, they are surrounded by mostly white women so it skews their choices. I got the * eye* and the of course you side with them, you are dating 'out' too. They tried to make it into a joke, but I noticed how my thoughts and concerns about the black community were more often dismissed than before I got serious with my man.

I have always dated a variety of people, but I think the seriousness of my current relationship is what changed their perception. It seemed like I was no longer in the 'struggle' looking for a good black man, so I was no longer in the struggle of looking out for the best of my people, according to them.:nuts:
 
My bf is white. He is my first white bf and he has dated both white and black women beofer.

Most of my college and post-college friends are black. 2 of them are maried to white men. Both were there 1st white SOs.

as for my social life. I thought it would feel weitd to go out to different places and clubs. I thought it would feel weird to walk into a black themed movie go to a black church or whatever. But honestly it does not. I live in the Baltimore Metro area. I thought baltimore would be less forgiving than DC. again whatever. People do not care anymore. And once I saw that everytime I am with him I see about 3 or 4 bf/wm couples I just laugh at how self conscious I felt for no reason before.

If there is a place we are going that is a little out there. for instance I ride horses, predominately white sport. I am used to being the only black person. It is also very ctraditional/conservative so no interracial. I give my bf a heads up. hey it may be a little weird. I do get some of my riding clients wh assumed I would be bringing a black man, looking at me with bewilderment, but when we are cool and unacknowledging of their looks they kinda just go with the flow.

So no I dont change my social tendencies now that I am with a white man.
 
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