are you stuck to his feelings?

[tada1]

time for an update!

So

 

[Mena]

hmm i wouldnt attach how i feel to how he reacts ....you may be setting yourself up for a huge dissappoint....im reading why men love b*tches ....this book might have something in it for you

 

[Spongie Bloom]

how is your self esteem like?? cause if you are someone who is banking on peoples reactions or perceptions fo you to make you feel good then there is a problem is this only with your bf or other pple like family, boss??

 

[poetist]

So sad as this may sound, i dont really have any girlfriends that i can talk to about this (except for you ladies of course)

Here's my dilemma...whenever I do stuff for my bf, i do it because i want to see him happy, not really because i really need to be doing that particular thing. For example, when i buy him birthday gifts, its because i want to see him happy and smile. Or even when we kiss, it's because i want to see him react to my body (and i told him this by the way, so this isnt manipulation)

The problem is, when i dont get the reaction i am looking for i get really really sad about it ....am i setting myself up for trouble by allowing my satisfaction in our relationship to be tied to his reactions to things i do?

is there anyone else out there that can relate to this? i really want to know the truth so please be completely honest

I think you can be setting yourself up for dissappointement, because everyone reacts to things differently. I'm kinda animated and dramatic, so when I get gifts, even if I dont like it I do the most...cartwheels, the superman, toe touches, pole vaults, etc. My DH is the opposite (thankfully) but sometimes from his reaction, I cant tell if he likes certain things. I can usually gauge his interest later - when he wears the outfit I bought or when he asks me to cook a certain meal that I made. Then I can tell. So you just need to understand how your SO expresses his emotions.

As for kissing him to get a reaction...I hope you are also doing it because you get some kind of pleasure out of it too.

 

[karezone]

I am glad that you asked this question. I do this also and am sad, sometimes to the point of tears, when he doesn't react the way that I want him to.

 

[tada1]

how is your self esteem like?? cause if you are someone who is banking on peoples reactions or perceptions fo you to make you feel good then there is a problem is this only with your bf or other pple like family, boss??

that's why its really weirding me out that i am like that towards him. For the most part, i dont really care what people do/think/say about me. So i know its not a self esteem issue.

I think you can be setting yourself up for dissappointement, because everyone reacts to things differently. I'm kinda animated and dramatic, so when I get gifts, even if I dont like it I do the most...cartwheels, the superman, toe touches, pole vaults, etc. My DH is the opposite (thankfully) but sometimes from his reaction, I cant tell if he likes certain things. I can usually gauge his interest later - when he wears the outfit I bought or when he asks me to cook a certain meal that I made. Then I can tell. So you just need to understand how your SO expresses his emotions.

as i was reading that, i thought uve been hiding in my closet watching me and my bf relate ...this is exactly how i am too...when he sends me stuff or buys me things, i go nuts...screaming...jumping..dancing everything...

I guess that's why i feel bad when i am bursting with excitement about something i got him, and then he just says a mellow thank you. I think id take your approach though--I should just watch him and learn to understand how he reacts to stuff...thank you so much