Are you more well off than you say you are?

[Bublin]

This was a topic on another forum I'm a member of and it got me thinking.

Before my Debt Free Journey I spent as I pleased. Never extravagantly but going into overdraft wasn't a problem. I would never refuse a night out with friends, didn't budget my money and with a public sector job, it wasn't hard for anyone to work out how much I earned. Ive also been a home owner since the age of 21.
I look back and I now realise that most of the people in my life thought I had a ton of money.......some asked to borrow money, like £100's at a time, one asked me to be a guarantor on a loan and just the general things that would be dropped into a convo. More to the point I never once said, 'I can't afford it' or 'Im broke this month'. Even though Im a single parent to 2 children people still presumed I was very flush and I never corrected them.

Now, I am an avid budgeter, I have more savings in the bank than ever before, I never go into my overdraft and Im able to overpay on my outstanding debt which is small. I sometimes find myself saying, 'I can't afford that' and talking openly about my debt and my outgoings. Im not playing poor but Im not coming off as well-off like I must have come across before.

I would never tell anyone what I have now because I know some people would ask to borrow, be jealous or just not understand what Im trying to achieve.

Do you NOT tell the truth about your finances?

 

[Ayesha81]

I think when it comes to finances its no ones business unless its your husband and even him....

 

[Lucie]

I don't lie because I feel like my words are like a boomerang and will come back to me. If something occurs I will just say I don't feel comfortable with lending/disclosing/doing/whatever. That is the truth. Also, I don't like to lend. I will give what I can and leave it at that.

 

[Lilmama1011]

im only open to four people about my finances and that's my mom, sis, SO, and best friend because they are open to me. other than that i don't discuss my money, its none of your business. i feel its classless to run around talking about your finances whether your broke or loaded

 

[ms.mimi]

I'm married so it's nobody's business. (Even when I was single, it was nobody's business) Personal finances are just that... personal.

 

[Britt]

Yes I am...
I'm currently single and I don't discuss my salary or finances like that with others. It's personal. In the past, I've had friends ask about my salary and was all up in everything but I realized it was a way from them to size up, compare, and watch pockets.

And yes, I'll be quick to say "I can't afford that"... No, I wouldn't take my $$ and run out and buy Louboutins and a Celine bag while struggling to pay for lunch and sacrificing my comfort for the sake of these things. I treat myself, I do... but I won't allow it to put me in a hole.

Heck, even while I lived with my ex-SO he didn't know all about my finances. He had an idea, he knew I was working towards paying off bills, but he didn't know exactly how much I brought home and what exactly I have saved.

 

[SuchaLady]

I think when it comes to finances its no ones business unless its your husband and even him....

Girl My grandma told me you never tell a man how much money you have. You have $5? Tell him you have $3. Not that she had to. My granddaddy spoiled the daylights out of her. But just a general rule of thumb.

 

[locabouthair]

I lied and told someone that my credit wasn't great because they asked for me to cosign for them. Same person asked for a loan. So yeah I'm selective about what I share.

 

[LiftedUp]

I think that people think that I'm more well off that I know I am lol. I like nice things so I'm very selective with what I buy and I buy most of my items at really good sales. Also, I like to go nice places but I wouldn't do it every week etc.

My friends and I do not ask each other for loans, or to co-sign for loans etc. so that is never an issue.

My parents know my finances very well and I keep men out of my financial business.

I don't like to speak negativity in my life so I try to refrain from saying I can't afford this, I'm broke etc. I prefer to say I choose not to buy this right now, I'm on a tight budget etc.

 

[jeanghrey]

Unless I consider you a true friend (and I don't use that word lightly), my finances are none of your bizness, and that goes for blood relations too; nothing burns me up more than people trying to guess whats in my pockets when they can't manage their own correctly...

 

[briacait]

I'm a private person so I don't share personal financial information with anyone. I might say I can't afford something, but I don't feel like I'm not being honest. I like to stick to a budget. If something isn't budgeted then I can't afford it.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Rhondie]

I've had to learn this as I got older and more financially stable. Particularly with close family. My mom is terrible at money management and doesn't save anything for a rainy day. When those inevitable days have come, she's always come to me to "borrow" I use quotes because sometimes I don't get it back. It makes me livid because I resent that my 58 year old mother has to ask me for money. I finally realized that I can't fully disclose my financial state to her any more because in the back of her mind, my savings is like her rainy day fund. Nowadays I have her thinking I live pay check to pay check when in fact I have a healthy savings. She'll still come to me from time to time but the expectation isn't there.
I tell my husband all the time that if we win the lottery, I would most likely tell my family that I won a quarter of the actual winnings. My family is not malicious they just don't know how to be responsible with money and if I don't protect myself from them, I'll be right where they are.

 

[DarkJoy]

Ahhh Bublin. We were so similar in our past spending habits. LOL.

No one knows my finances except my stbxH because it's on the divorce papers and my tax advisor. Not even my parents know--though they know it's tight.

Actually, the DR thread knows way more than my RL folk.

 

[Bublin]

DarkJoy ha, I agree, forums know more about my finances than anyone in real life. Besides, the internet is where the good advice is.

 

[Lymegreen]

No one knows our financial situtation but for some reason SOME people in my family think we have money to lend out.

I have a family member who doesn't mind asking for money. Everytime she asked I give her $20-50 dollars when I know she is looking for $500-$1000.

She had the nerve to tell me that the $50 I gave her once wasn't even enough to cover the postage for something SHE promised to send someone else.

I don't mean to be cold but I don't have money like that to subsidize people (family or not).

I don't have as much money as I need in savings and people are steady peeping what little I do have. It is very frustrating.

Luckily, DH doesn't really care about fancy cars or houses because we could move to a bigger house - get fancier cars but for what? We'd rather save the money for a rainy day and keep other people's eye balls out of our wallets.

 

[Britt]

Girl My grandma told me you never tell a man how much money you have. You have $5? Tell him you have $3. Not that she had to. My granddaddy spoiled the daylights out of her. But just a general rule of thumb.

I agree with your granny

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I share salary information with family and close friends. At one time my dad wanted copies of my job offer letters and I sent them. He was more excited than me.

People who have that information can ask to borrow money but I never feel obligated to loan money simply because they know a bit about my finances. No is a complete sentence. My family and friends know me well enough not to press the issue.

 

[FlowerHair]

It's unfortunately pointless to give money to some broke people, because they will always be broke (even if they won a million dollars).

I give regularly to my sister in the Ukraine because I know she needs it. I will give to my family in Kenya as well every now and then, but no one except for my SO, mother, brothers and my sister know exactly what I make. My brothers are my financial counselors.

I also talk openly with my best friend's children about my finances, because I want them to become aware and responsible with their money. Their parents don't work (both are on permanent sick leave), so they don't come from a family with good finances. They need some talks every now and then to keep their minds on the right track... They ask simple questions like how much do I pay in taxes and how much do I save etc.