Are you more skeptical of a guy who is more forward?

[greight]

I realized that this post is so detailed for something so simple, lol! Oh well. BTW, I've been meeting men and semi-dating around, but I kinda find myself drawn to this one.

I work in a school (not a teacher) and organize an after school program. A male teacher introduced himself to me on an off day when I was running around trying to find classrooms for my kids. He seems like a pretty nice guy, but generally, in the off chance we catch each other, it's always in between classes so we haven't interacted much (his students are not in the program).

However, for the last few weeks I've seen him more often than usual. He asked me out to "talk" that day (2 weeks ago), but I was kinda sick and had plans to go to the library (don't shoot me! I had overdue books I didn't tell him why I couldn't go, tho). We were on break last week, but I was planning to ask him out this week for coffee since I declined when he asked me.

I actually saw him today, and we exchanged greetings again, but he was with his students (like about 10) and I was rushing to get some things (I had one student that was waiting for me that had an issue).

He asked me when I'll be in the school again (I told him tomorrow) and then proceeded to go on and say how he looks forward to seeing me and that I brighten up his day, etc, etc.

I kinda reacted flattered and somewhat embarrassed and said thank you. Don't get me wrong, I liked the attention and I'm planning on asking him for coffee on Tues or Thrs, but I didn't like the fact that he said all of that in front of 11 - 13 year olds and another teacher (unprofessional) and it seems a bit odd to say that I brighten up his day when I think this is the fourth/fifth time I'm seeing him in 2 months?

Anyway, are you all generally skeptical forward guy until proven otherwise? You think I should tread lightly in this situation? Most forward guys I know are either desperate, running game (too many in this pile), or genuinely infatuated so I'm hoping this man is the latter . I'm reserving judgement.

 

[hopeful]

I think it's cute. And I wouldn't invite him out for coffee. Wait until he asks again. It certainly sounds like he will. Lucky girl, keep us updated.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

He seems okay so far. He didn't say anything inappropriate. It's a good thing when a guy pursues (I thought when I opened the thread it would be "creepy pursuit" but this is just normal stuff). So anyways I agree with hopeful...he's going to ask you out again so there's no need

 

[Lovelylife]

Just don't open up too quick. Guys fall in love fast and out even faster.

 

[greight]

I think it's cute. And I wouldn't invite him out for coffee. Wait until he asks again. It certainly sounds like he will. Lucky girl, keep us updated.

I will! He seems like my "type." Tall, (hopefully) intelligent, and is really well liked by his students. If nothing else, he's another interesting addition to my day.

He seems okay so far. He didn't say anything inappropriate. It's a good thing when a guy pursues (I thought when I opened the thread it would be "creepy pursuit" but this is just normal stuff). So anyways I agree with hopeful...he's going to ask you out again so there's no need

I'll take your ladies advice and wait it out . To be honest, I'm not that pressed; I've been working on me for the last several months. I'd like to be in a relationship, but I have to deconstruct some issues erplexed. I'm getting there

I just haven't been "eagerly" pursued in a minute so I was taken aback by him just admitting all of that (especially when we've probably spoken to each other for a total of 20 minutes in the last 2 months?).

Just don't open up too quick. Guys fall in love fast and out even faster.

Good point, and I agree with you (one of my best friends learned this lesson the hard way). I'm going to take my time with this (the opposite of what I normally do).

 

[ThickHair]

We all want a nice guy who will let us know in a noncreepy way that he is into us, then we get one and now we are suspect? Come on now, nothing you described was off the wall and he seems like a sweet guy. You want a good guy right? So why give a good guy the side eye?

It is refreshing to read such a good story, I was expecting the worst since that is what is usually posted.

I was so pleased with the was my SO persues me and I wanted a man like him and I have him, so I just drink it up. Plus he is consistant, me likey.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

He sounds like he is ahead of most men. He sounds polite, confident enough to ask what he wants, and "in touch" with his thoughts and feelings.

So many guys now are too insecure and invested in acting out that they wont go for what they want because that would entail "sweating" you.

Oh, and wait till he asks you out again like hopeful said.

 

[greight]

We all want a nice guy who will let us know in a noncreepy way that he is into us, then we get one and now we are suspect? Come on now, nothing you described was off the wall and he seems like a sweet guy. You want a good guy right? So why give a good guy the side eye?

It is refreshing to read such a good story, I was expecting the worst since that is what is usually posted.

I was so pleased with the was my SO persues me and I wanted a man like him and I have him, so I just drink it up. Plus he is consistant, me likey.

Um, I'm not giving him the side eye. I barely know him . The verdict is still out if he's nice or not. I wish he wouldn't put it on blast in front of the kids though, lol.

I'm going to wait it out and see what his character is like; I tend to jump the gun (I need to discern more), so I'm pacing myself.

The last guys who were forward and pursued me turned out to be real assholes in my case, but I've had a few that were genuinely nice. I generally prefer getting to know a man in familiar social circles and hear from others about what's he's like, his character since it's a lot easier to hide skeletons in NYC.

I just needed feedback to feel safer about the situation . We'll see!

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Um, I'm not giving him the side eye. I barely know him . The verdict is still out if he's nice or not. I w.ish he wouldn't put it on blast in front of the kids though, lol.

I'm going to wait it out and see what his character is like; I tend to jump the gun (I need to discern more), so I'm pacing myself.

The last guys who were forward and pursued me turned out to be real assholes in my case, but I've had a few that were genuinely nice. I generally prefer getting to know a man in familiar social circles and hear from others about what's he's like, his character since it's a lot easier to hide skeletons in NYC.

I just needed feedback to feel safer about the situation . We'll see!

Okay to the bolded now we're getting somewhere. I'm glad you're open to the fact that he is not these other men and you're willing teo judge him for his qualities alone (all the while keeping your interactions easy and listening to your instinct). It's natural that you'd be freaked a little given past situations but its also good that you won't let them influence your future (and will work through this issue so to speak).

I might add that I think you have the right idea. Jumping the gun is never a good idea. All you can do is be youself, observe, and decide if you want to go further (and this could take several or more dates). There's no need to dive in when you don't know the condition of the water. It' s smart dating advice for you or anyone (no picking out china and houses in your head lol! ). I think its great to go with the flow and see what happens. It's how I approached dating before getting engaged. It's good to stay in the present (instead of fantasy land) that way your eyes are wide open to assess the reality (or illusion created by his "representative" or "false self) of who he is. And then after all is said and done do you even like him (which you haven't decided as you don't know him well enough yet

 

[greight]

Just to update the thread... I had a coffee date with him. But guess what? He has a girlfriend!

And better yet, you know how I found out? We accidentally walked into a friend of hers on our way to the coffee thing. She was giving me some stank cold shoulder and I don't blame her.

We did end up having coffee and talking, and I can tell he is smitten with me, but yeah, this is another one crossed off the list. He wanted to do it again another time, but I pushed it to when it becomes warmer. Gives him a few months to forget about me.

I'm sure he could argue that we could be friends, but he was already telling me that I was beautiful, appreciated the fact that I was natural, "accidentally" touched my arm/shoulder, yadda yadda yadda. And boo boo boo!

He might have been planning to tell me about her, but when I brought her up in the convo, he just brushed the topic aside . Which implies to me that he wasn't going to mention her at all.

I got some Ben and Jerry's that I'll be eating tonight . Then it's on to the next one. Wherever he may be...

 

[Lenee925]

Just to update the thread... I had a coffee date with him. But guess what? He has a girlfriend!

And better yet, you know how I found out? We accidentally walked into a friend of hers on our way to the coffee thing. She was giving me some stank cold shoulder and I don't blame her.

We did end up having coffee and talking, and I can tell he is smitten with me, but yeah, this is another one crossed off the list. He wanted to do it again another time, but I pushed it to when it becomes warmer. Gives him a few months to forget about me.

I'm sure he could argue that we could be friends, but he was already telling me that I was beautiful, appreciated the fact that I was natural, "accidentally" touched my arm/shoulder, yadda yadda yadda. And boo boo boo!

He might have been planning to tell me about her, but when I brought her up in the convo, he just brushed the topic aside . Which implies to me that he wasn't going to mention her at all.

I got some Ben and Jerry's that I'll be eating tonight . Then it's on to the next one. Wherever he may be...

Whew! Way to dodge a bullet girl!. NEXT

 

[greight]

Whew! Way to dodge a bullet girl!. NEXT

I'm just saying that God was trying to deliver me a message since there's no way on this earth that I could have had her walking around when it's 20 degrees (nobody wants to be outside right now) in a city with millions of people. And I was running late to meet him erplexed

 

[Theo]

Lol I wouldn't call that forward.

You shouldn't have any doubt in your mind that a guy is feeling you. If you do, then he's not doing his job right.