Are These Red Flags?

I think she knows what she needs to do because she sent me a message saying that she needed to make a decision without saying anything else and I didn't ask. she then sent me this...
I just responded with the general idea of watching how your man treats other people (family and others). We'll talk more when I see her I guess... :(
 
So, he's (i) "temperamental", (ii) hypocritical and (iii) spoilt and she's asking whether there are red flags? Hmmmmmm . . . .

The fact that he has a grandson shows that he's too old for that BS. He won't be changing any time soon. Judging on the errands that he has and is planning to send her on, he clearly wants a caretaker, not a girlfriend. I can't believe that she's considering marriage to this man.
 
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She didn't ask if they were red flags, that was my title. She wanted to know my thoughts. She prolly just wanted a sounding board.
 
I have a theory that I've been pondering since I got my license...........people's true personality comes out when they drive. It hasn't failed me in over 30 years.

It won't be too long before he's treating her like he treats other drivers
 
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:heart:Glad you posted this. Those are warning/caution/red flags. Red because he's already warned her, and is slowly showing her how things will be. He's going slow to desensitize her to his increasing levels of BS.

I understand how your friend feels, and why she's hesitant to leave. I'm all for leaving with your head high and your heart in tact versus the other way around.

My wanna-be SO (old ex) seems to have control issues; had them before......and now that we are trying to reunite after a year I'm noticing that he's only played lip service to the idea of changing.
In my heart-of-hearts :heart3:I don't want him to be this way; I know why he's this way and I want ignore the red flags and help. However, my head :brainy:tells me that any change I coerce out of him would only be temporary ; AND that once we're co-habitating he'd flip back to the persona :angeldevil:that he's more comfortable with.
Like your friend, I too have observed how he is with others who have displeased him and it ain't pretty. :angry2: Currently he's pissed at me...over a situation that could have been resolved with a phone call/compromise; :arguing:but that's his way. I gave him 4-hours to get over it (in my mind); he hasn't .....so.....I have.
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Some folks don't realize that there is a difference between establishing emotional intimacy and establishing emotional control;:flowers: :jail:the fact that he's protective does not negate the controlling/manipulative tendencies he's exhibiting. As soon your buddy resists:hand: his controlling/manipulative tendencies he'll be a jerk to her too.
 
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Red flags. I think it's exactly what you said: she already knows what she should do. The fact that she reached out to you saying she needs to make a decision and then says he's a great guy *BUT* she doesn't want to minimize things that could make her life miserable shows that she knows she should leave.
 
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