Anyone having luck with Christian dating sites?

[inthepink]

I really need to know b/c the enemy is telling me everyday that there MUST be something wrong with me. I rarely get an email from anyone. It's like no one is interested...period. (Except for55 year old guys with full beards.) Am I not pretty enough? Are my responses not enough? I was pretty enough 6 years ago. My responses were good enough 6 years ago. But now...Nothing...Nada. This isn't a pity party. I really just want to know. Is God trying to tell me something? Is online not the place for me?

Is anyone out there having any luck? Or have people started to move away from online dating? And where to? Enquiring minds want to know.

 

[Child0fGod]

girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl i have so much to say on this, i don't know where to begin!!!

the rundown:

• online i met this guy i was to marry (not online dating webby, but facebook actually). deepest spiritual bond i've ever had with a potential christian-mate (which can be deceptive on another note, so be careful). we began picking out engagement rings and everything. long story short, carnality got in the way and God told me not to look back-- scripture in Luke i was lead to.
• second guy (clearly this was my will and not God's, please take note) i met on www.christianmingle.com. very nice guy... (we even deactivated our accounts together because we were moving into the courting stage). months later after the long-distance visits and "i love you's," there was a total abrupt change in his heart and i felt in my spirit that it was his yt family that made him discontinue courting me.

etc, etc.
i can talk so much longer, lol.

but,
sometimes i feel the same way. gosh am i not cute? but, i'm beginning to realize that there are some things i need to change within me... like, my demeanor at times (facial expressions, etc etc). so, i think i'm good in the "looks" dept and i'm sure you are too. and thank God for the affirmations i've received concerning that.

but overall,
at first it was difficult for me to stop online "dating" because i have the desire to marry early. but, after two failed CONSCIOUS (meaning, my will) attempts, i know it's not in God's will for ME... you... not sure. let's continue to pray about it and genuinely listen to the voice of God.

God keep us both,

 

[royalty84]

It's funny you bring this up because I went to this bible study on Monday (singlespleasingthelord.com btw) and she talked alot about online dating. Her viewpoint was that when you're going to these online dating websites, the website's not going to tell you things like: You're not ready to date right now, this person's a maniac, etc. and basically things that you would most likely find out when spending time with this person on a consistent basis ( but with all these people out here, this is not necesarily true all the time either).

Now although I don't date online, I'm not one of those people that throws the baby out with the bathwater. It works for a few, but I know that that's not God's plan for me. It's really one of those case-by-case basis type of things. My question for you would be: has God 'nudged' or lead you to continuously go on these websites as a means of obtaining a mate, or are you taking the situation into your own hands as a result of the lack of opportunities to date?

I view online dating, going places & joining things because whatshisname is going to be there, etc. as 'planting' yourself in plain view so that someone can find you. However, one should 'plant' themselves only when being lead to by God. Kinda like when Ruth laid at the feet of Boaz.

But back the the bible study-- what I learned from that was: girl, God got GPS on you! He knows where you at! He can bring you some dreamsicle from the Netherlands without the websites Seriously! All you can do is go about your life doing what you're doing, and making sure that you're where you're supposed to be and when you're supposed to be there, and doing what you're supposed to be doing. And it's not as deep and calculated as people make it seem either. Next thing you know--poof! Mr. Dreamsicle will just show up! At least that's what I heard! Hey, I'm not one with a extra pair of biceps in my bed either, so I'm right there with ya, but I can say I'm in a place where I can truly not fret over that as I did when I was younger (not saying that you are fretting, of course) But I always tell people: when you ask, God will just give you total fulfillment in every dept. of your life (as you allow it) and get you to a place where you celebrate being single, and look at it as the GIFT that it is-- not something that needs to be stopped asap!

I said all that to say: Sorry I kinda hijacked your thread like that, but I wanted to call myself encouraging you ! I know everything will work out for you though!

 

[inthepink]

It's funny you bring this up because I went to this bible study on Monday (singlespleasingthelord.com btw) and she talked alot about online dating. Her viewpoint was that when you're going to these online dating websites, the website's not going to tell you things like: You're not ready to date right now, this person's a maniac, etc. and basically things that you would most likely find out when spending time with this person on a consistent basis ( but with all these people out here, this is not necesarily true all the time either).

This is true and in some of my single Christian books, it discourages online dating for this reason, I believe. Honestly, I'd prefer to meet someone offline b/c I'd hate to waste my time with someone across the country and then meet him and feel differently.

Now although I don't date online, I'm not one of those people that throws the baby out with the bathwater. It works for a few, but I know that that's not God's plan for me. It's really one of those case-by-case basis type of things. My question for you would be: has God 'nudged' or lead you to continuously go on these websites as a means of obtaining a mate, or are you taking the situation into your own hands as a result of the lack of opportunities to date?

I don't really know the answer to that. I know that before I became a Christian, online dating was easy. I thought it was my answer b/c I always (yes, I know...but it's true) had trouble meeting guys offline. Online, I signed up and began to get dates. THEN, I became a Christian...wasn't online for a while. Felt ready enough to know what I wanted as being a Christian. Put myself back out there and nada. Nothing...nada. Now maybe that is God telling me not to be there. However, I still don't meet men offline (not saying I never will, just that I never have).

But back the the bible study-- what I learned from that was: girl, God got GPS on you! He knows where you at! He can bring you some dreamsicle from the Netherlands without the websites Seriously! All you can do is go about your life doing what you're doing, and making sure that you're where you're supposed to be and when you're supposed to be there, and doing what you're supposed to be doing. And it's not as deep and calculated as people make it seem either. Next thing you know--poof! Mr. Dreamsicle will just show up! At least that's what I heard!

It's funny that you say this because I was thinking this very thing yesterday. I am open to relocation should I meet the right person. In fact, I am not even sure if I want to stay where I live now so I'm almost like "I want to move to be with someone." And so I think ok, well, online opens me up to more possibilities. But then I thought as you did, people have met on planes...business trips, etc. If that's what God wants, He can do it without me trying.

Also, today in a meeting at work, there is a lady I work with who is from another country. So is her husband. Everyone figured she and her husband moved here together. Not so. She moved here and he moved here separately and just somehow met! Amazing.

Hey, I'm not one with a extra pair of biceps in my bed either, so I'm right there with ya, but I can say I'm in a place where I can truly not fret over that as I did when I was younger (not saying that you are fretting, of course) But I always tell people: when you ask, God will just give you total fulfillment in every dept. of your life (as you allow it) and get you to a place where you celebrate being single, and look at it as the GIFT that it is-- not something that needs to be stopped asap!

I said all that to say: Sorry I kinda hijacked your thread like that, but I wanted to call myself encouraging you ! I know everything will work out for you though!

You did not hijack my thread - I completely appreciate your response!!!

I will tell you that I have gone through many periods of complete satisfaction with being single. Thing is that I think - most people get "breaks" from singleness here and there - I haven't. So, I feel "scared" to not do anything.

Nevertheless, I am feeling like I should not be on the Internet anymore.

Thanks

 

[Child0fGod]

I know that before I became a Christian, online dating was easy. I thought it was my answer b/c I always (yes, I know...but it's true) had trouble meeting guys offline. Online, I signed up and began to get dates. THEN, I became a Christian...wasn't online for a while. Felt ready enough to know what I wanted as being a Christian. Put myself back out there and nada. Nothing...nada. Now maybe that is God telling me not to be there. However, I still don't meet men offline (not saying I never will, just that I never have).

Nevertheless, I am feeling like I should not be on the Internet anymore.

Thanks

ohh, yeah that would be an issue.

if you were still struggling with it, i'd say drop it all together, considering that it was something you were in before you gave your life to Christ.

with me, i was already committed to Christ and then becaome interested in courtship/marriage, therefore having pursued online "dating..." which i no longer believe is God's will for my life

hope you find your way, hun,

 

[inthepink]

ChildofGod,

I am not following your thoughts...

Why couldn't I use online dating sites after becoming a Christian since I used it before? Before, I was not looking for another Christian whereas now I am.

Just trying to make sure I "get" what you are saying - not sure I do right now...but please explain.

ohh, yeah that would be an issue.

if you were still struggling with it, i'd say drop it all together, considering that it was something you were in before you gave your life to Christ.

with me, i was already committed to Christ and then becaome interested in courtship/marriage, therefore having pursued online "dating..." which i no longer believe is God's will for my life

hope you find your way, hun,