I know what you mean. I love my hair when it's freshly relaxed and flat-ironed, blingy and swingy! The rest of the time, meh . . .
Lately, I've been doing a lot of air-drying. When I do it right, this method preserves my hair's shine and silky feel by cutting down on wear-and-tear and locking in moisture. Heck, sometimes I even have a little swang!
I shampoo with Nexxus Aloe Rid (clarifying but not stripping), condition with HH Hello Hydration, work a little NTM into my hair while it's damp, part my hair on the side -- which is how I normally wear it -- put my hair in two ponytails, twist the ponytails around themselves and clip them up, and tie my hair down with a scarf. I usually do this around bedtime.
When I wake up the next morning, my hair is still a little damp, but it usually dries pretty fast once I remove the scarf and take down the ponytails. (My hair looks best if it gets a chance to dry fully before I take it down, though.) Then I just fluff it out a bit and go.