Anyone bc against their SO wishes?

[moriahar]

So Ive been seeing this guy on and off for the past 3 years. All this time I've been sporting a sl wrap and was relaxed for most of that time. Over the last 3 months thing are starting to get serious. The other day we were talking and I was trying to prepare him for my upcoming bc. He is normally pretty laid back and breezy with things.. But this was altogether different. He admitted that he'd be upset if I cut half the length of my hair off. I explained that it was for the health of my hair. He suggested I cut off 2inches tops. So he's ok with mini chops but not the full thing. I kinda just want to get it over but I also don't want my hair to be an issue in our relationship. Has any one bc'd against their SO's wishes?

 

[♥Lamaravilla♥]

Yes I have. I have cut my hair really low twice in my past relationship. He didn't like it at all and has always expressed his preference for long flowing hair

He got over it both times . . .

 

[Triniwegian]

I did it first and told him later.
He is not with me for my hair so it didn't matter to him.
Whatever makes Theo happy

 

[GreenEyedJen]

Yes, I did. However, it wasn't the first time I'd cut my hair against his wishes. The first time was when we were just hanging out, not official. He actually took it better this time, even though my hair is shorter than he's ever seen it. He likes my natural hair so he's cool with it. His sister is also in the process of going natural so that may help.

Now that I think about it, I've cut my hair in every relationship I've had, each time against the guys wishes. It's never as big of a deal as we both think it's gonna be.

 

[DigitalRain]

Its just hair. Life goes on. I would hope my hair isn't that big of a deal in a relationship.

 

[MsLizziA]

Yes I have. I have cut my hair really low twice in my past relationship. He didn't like it at all and has always expressed his preference for long flowing hair

He got over it both times . . .

Co-signs. I sure did but the 2nd time i cut it to the shortest length that its ever been and i ran and got braids put in before he could see it He will get over it, trust me

 

[moriahar]

Co-signs. I sure did but the 2nd time i cut it to the shortest length that its ever been and i ran and got braids put in before he could see it He will get over it, trust me

Yes I know he will. And I had honestly considered bcing and getting a sewin afterwards until I figure out what to do with my hair.

 

[Ms.Christ3n]

My SO made it clear that he did not like short hair AT ALL. But transitioned long enough so I decided to cut it. He loved it! My confidence level and self esteem rose so much after my BC because I was proud of who I was and what I stood for. He just told me recently that he loves my curls, the tight ones, the loose ones, and the ones that don't quite curl all the way up, he loves them too! I thought that was hilarious!

If he loves you it doesn't matter if you were bald or had butt length hair. You will still have the personality of which he fell in love with in the first place.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I would talk to him and explain to him why I was cutting off my hair and that its for the health of my hair....if it was a big sticking point then I would do more of a long-term transition.

The way I see things a relationship is a partnership and sometimes you compromise to be considerate to that person you're building your life with.

Also over time he may change his mind on the issue if you speak to him about it enough and show him the progress people make from the BC onward.

 

[cocoaluv]

Mine didnt care about the BC. His main issue was the braids/weave I put in afterwards. He begged me to take them out and just wear my TWA but I was too scared. Now that I am wearing my TWA out he loves it and says anything is better than weaves LOL. He is going to be pissed when I get braids again for our vacation in June LMAO.

 

[KnitChick]

My SO was like "do whatever you want to do with your head" when I told him I was going natural he was waaaaay to excited...LOL

Compromise is what makes a relationship work, but not when it comes to how you to look or express yourself with fashion/hair etc. For most of us our hair and clothes are an extension of who we are and you should feel comfortable expressing yourself in that regard without any negative feelings from ur partner ...IMHO

I BC'd and have been wearing weaves for the last 8 months...sometimes he likes one weave over the other or he says "When are you gonna wear your hair out", but the conversation never goes over 5 min and he moves on and he could care less ... Your SO will get over it as long as you look hot ...Do what you feel comfortable with, the rest will work itself out

 

[MsLizziA]

Yes I know he will. And I had honestly considered bcing and getting a sewin afterwards until I figure out what to do with my hair.

To be completely honest, he wasn't for natural hair when i first did it. He was like "I like hair fried died and laid to the side". That's exactly what my hair used to be before, FRIED! So as it grew, he grew to love it. Of all the hairstyles i have done, he likes the puff the most... of all the styles i do, you like the boring a$$ puff?

Needless to say he now plays in my hair, alot. So much to the point that i have to put it up and away from his hands.... lol. He really started to see things my way after he saw the movie "Good Hair". Once he found out what was in relaxers, he was all for the natural then

 

[lilsparkle825]

My bf and I were together 2 years before I BC'd, and he didn't really know I was transitioning because I mostly wore it straight during my transition, When I did BC, I called and told him, and he thought I was joking. When he finally saw it, he hated it. It was crazy. He would mostly scrunch up his face and wouldn't say anything directly, but if someone around us said something sideways he would take the opportunity to snicker or add his two cents.

We broke up a few months later (not because of my hair) and now almost 2 years later we are friends again. He loves it now and compliments me all the time....especially when it is straightened. He asked to take me to dinner and YOU KNOW i wore it straight and was swinging it the whole time!

 

[sydaree]

My husband did not want me to do the BC. He said, "please don't", but he has never been able to control me ;-p. So I did it anyway. I feel sorta uncomfortable and went out wig shopping yesterday. Ironically, the wigs that looked the best, were the one's that looked like my hair pre BC. So, I decided to ditch the wig idea and watched like 20 youtube videos on how to do a head wrap. I'm gonna use my scarves for now, but plan to make a trip to the fabric store. BTW, my husband was totally against the wig idea.

 

[Mook's hair]

No, not me. Mine is particularly possessive about my hair. He thinks it's his. I did a very long term transition. Not just for his sake but because it's what I wanted to do. When I did my BC at the 2 year mark, I didn't tell him I was doing it. I had grown so much natural hair at that point that he really didn't notice the difference. Those last few relaxed ends were just looking so pitiful they had to go.

 

[cocoaluv]

Mook your hair looks great!!!