Another "I hate my hair" vent!!!

S

sheanu

Well-Known Member
So things seemed to be going well: my hair was growing at least a 1/2 inch a month, my edges are sort of coming back in, and the last time I took out my braids, I noticed that my hair had grown quite a bit.

Fast forward to today: I just finished taking down my braids, washing and deep conditioning my hair, and rollersetting in anticipation of getting my hair done tomorrow. I'd gotten as far as starting to rollerset when I just gave up!!!! My hair is breaking off in droves! It's definitely shorter than when I took down my braids two months ago!

I'm so sad and disappointed because I've been working for two years now (about how long I've been natural) to try to get my hair to grow. I'm getting married very soon and was really hoping that for once, I wouldn't have to use a ton of weave and stuff in order to achieve a decent hairstyle. I was hoping that at the most I'd have to add a piece in order to achieve the bun look that I want. After today I'm devastated. My hair feels so dry and crunchy and is SOOO hard to comb through!

Here are some of the potential culprits:

  1. Today I tried a new regimen: instead of washing with my regular shampoo and using my regular conditioner, I used the Nubian Heritage Indian Hemp and Tamanu Grow and strengthen treatment masque to deep condition (under a hooded dryer) after I'd taken down the braids but before shampooing. I had prepooed the night before with coconut and jojoba oil. I then shampooed with Shea Moisture Yucca and Baobab Thickening shampoo and then detangled with SMY&B Volumizing Conditioner. I usually shampoo with Sally's One 'n Only Argan Oil Moisture Repair Shampoo and DC with Olive Oil Replenishing Conditioner so perhaps I changed too much at one time and the ingredients in the SM/NH products caused my breakage. I then put the NH Honey and Blackseed Heat protectant spray on my hair. That was the kicker I think. My hair already felt under-moisturized before I put this mess on it but that foolishness felt like a bunch of alcohol on my hair. My hair dried MUCH faster than I'm used too and did not rollerset well. When I tried to flat iron, it was like that flat iron wasn't doing a doggon thing!
  2. I hennaed in the beginning of the year but only did it a few times because my hair was breaking from that time.
Should I just wash and condition my hair over with the Moisture Repair Shampoo and the ORS Replenishing Conditioner? :cry: This is making me so sad. I was supposed to do my trial hair style for my wedding tomorrow but now I just don't want to do it. At times I feel like I'll forever hate my hair. It's grown an inch but is almost an inch shorter from breakage!:nono:
 
OK I just rewashed and used my regular conditioner. Idk if this was overkill but I just couldn't deal with my hair feeling like this anymore. I had my sis feel it and she was like "yeah you need to wash and recondition that"
 
Awww don't feel sad, your hair will bounce right back. :yep:

I'm no expert, but from the sound of it maybe your hair has a sensitivity to sulfates. Try switching to a sulfate free shampoo and conditioner. I highly recommend Aubrey organics GPB shampoo and conditioner

For the dryness, I think you may have been pre-pooing with the wrong oil, I've heard that jojoba has caused some peoples hair to break --->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_wY9r78IV0

If your hair is anything like mine, you would love safflower oil, it has the highest concentration of ceramides and provides excellent health and shine to strands. (I also hear great things about grape seed oil)

I'd also highly recommend mizani reconstructing masque, myself and my sister have both had excellent results from it.

Also, when you henna consider adding a generous amount of conditioner to the mix :) this will help your hair retain strength and softness!

Hope this helps, feel better girl!
 
genesislocks said:
Awww don't feel sad, your hair will bounce right back. :yep:

I'm no expert, but from the sound of it maybe your hair has a sensitivity to sulfates. Try switching to a sulfate free shampoo and conditioner. I highly recommend Aubrey organics GPB shampoo and conditioner

For the dryness, I think you may have been pre-pooing with the wrong oil, I've heard that jojoba has caused some peoples hair to break --->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_wY9r78IV0

If your hair is anything like mine, you would love safflower oil, it has the highest concentration of ceramides and provides excellent health and shine to strands. (I also hear great things about grape seed oil)

I'd also highly recommend mizani reconstructing masque, myself and my sister have both had excellent results from it.

Also, when you henna consider adding a generous amount of conditioner to the mix :) this will help your hair retain strength and softness!

Hope this helps, feel better girl!
Click to expand...

Thanks for the recommendations!

I honestly think it was the SM &NH products, particularly that heat protectant. The funny thing is neither of those shampoos are supposed to have sulfates but I know I'll never use the SM one again. I washed again with my usual products and my hair is back to normal and I saw significantly less breakage. I can't believe a setback happened that quickly.
 
Girl BREATHE! Be CALM! and release alllll those hair DEMONS!

I've had 2 setbacks because of dryness and breakage. However, I've finally found a regimen that works and it errs on the side of moisture and silicone free. Now I'm not advising that you take this route, but I am advising you to revamp your hair ways. One being to refrain from trying 3 new products at one time. This could either be really really good or horribly setback driven bad and <----this one ain't cool (trust me I know).

If it works stick to it as long as you possibly can. If the Argan Oil SHampoo/ Replenishing Conditioner combo works...STICK TO IT LIKE GLUE! I'm not saying you can't incorporate new products every now and again, but keep in mind that you have to be consistent to some degree. I understand the excitement of new products though....So don't feel bad.

Anywho, I hope I helped in some way. Eventually IT DOES get better so just keep that in mind and don't let you hair overwhelm you :nono:.

HTH's :)
 
EnExitStageLeft said:
Girl BREATHE! Be CALM! and release alllll those hair DEMONS!

I've had 2 setbacks because of dryness and breakage. However, I've finally found a regimen that works and it errs on the side of moisture and silicone free. Now I'm not advising that you take this route, but I am advising you to revamp your hair ways. One being to refrain from trying 3 new products at one time. This could either be really really good or horribly setback driven bad and <----this one ain't cool (trust me I know).

If it works stick to it as long as you possibly can. If the Argan Oil SHampoo/ Replenishing Conditioner combo works...STICK TO IT LIKE GLUE! I'm not saying you can't incorporate new products every now and again, but keep in mind that you have to be consistent to some degree. I understand the excitement of new products though....So don't feel bad.

Anywho, I hope I helped in some way. Eventually IT DOES get better so just keep that in mind and don't let you hair overwhelm you :nono:.

HTH's :)
Click to expand...

:Lachen: @"hair demons". Thanks for the advise though. NEVER AGAIN will I completely switch up my regimen that much at once. Done lost over an inch...
 
Henna can be drying so you have to be sure to keep your hair extra moisturized. Anything with added protein or that can lead to extra dryness can make your hair brittle after a henna treatment. It sounds like you have gotten back on track though!
 
I was coming in to say girl I understand!! The only thing that really helped to get me back on track was adding daily moisture. I had bouts of dryness plus weird behavior due to PCOS.

When I hennaed, it acted as a protein so I had to be VERY careful that I didn't use a lot of other protein (including the ones in my leave-ins.) Just be patient, listen to your hair, and try not to throw a bunch of products in it hoping something sticks lol. That's what I did at the beginning of my journey and it ended up making things much worse.

It does get better. Just hang in there. :yep:
 
Here's a hint :)

When you are deep conditioning do NOT use products with the ingredient hydrolyzed protein or hemp or if it says "strengthening" or "restoration", these protein-based conditioners should be used AFTER you have successfully washed and tangled your hair. If not your hair will be hard and difficult to detangle.

LOOK for products that contain behentrimonium sulfate, this ingredient right here is the utmost truth, it will make your hair extremely soft and very easy to detangle. This is what I specifically look for when I am shopping for deep conditioners.

I personally can not prepoo using oils :nono: , it makes my hair tangly and I lose a lot of shed hair in the shower drain. If it has worked for you in the past, then disregard this. Everything does not work for everyone.

I am sorry to hear about your hair situation especially so close to your wedding date. Do not stress over it because usually stress will cause you to do something to your hair you will regret, in my case I have a tendency to *snip snip*

Best of luck!
 
EnExitStageLeft said:
If it works stick to it as long as you possibly can. If the Argan Oil SHampoo/ Replenishing Conditioner combo works...STICK TO IT LIKE GLUE!
Click to expand...

^^^This - I learnt the hard way after my hair started falling out in clumps after I started taking this stupid vitamin that board was raving about. After that, I stuck to the bare essentials. My hair grows just fine without all the extra. Stick to what works OP and don't make the same mistake twice. Your hair will be ok :yep:
 
I recommend that if you happen to try another product combination again that has your hair feeling hard and you see breakage, stop what you are doing immediately. Don't comb it or manipulate it at all. Slather it in a moisturizing DC with a lot of slip (with NO proteins in it) and let it sit on your hair until it penetrates either through baggying or a hooded dryer. Then go through it gently to detangle so that you don't experience a lot of breakage.
 
OP, I am no hair guru but have you considered quitting the braids? I have a combination of textures 3c-4b . When I tried to grow my hair out natural in braids, it would break and shed like crazy. I loved braids because I could always see the healthy new growth but every time I took the braids down it seemed like my hair had stayed the same or gotten shorter. After 3 years of switching styles, stylists, conditioners etc. (plus going broke on growth aids)…I just had to recognize that I could not retain length in braids. I stopped wearing braids in May, and babied my natural hair (that was left) for a month. After a month I decided to texlax for 3-5 min. My bangs went from 2” to 7” in 6 months, which is more growth than I was ever able to retain in braids.
 
Also, try castor oil 1/4 c with a few drops of garlic oil (14) under a heat cap for 30-60min. Then condition wash it out. I use Swanson conditioner - the brand with silica. I did this once a week until my hair bounced back, and do it e/o week for maintenance now.
 
do a light trim every 3-4 months.

nix the braids for some they cause breakage as started up thread.

moisturize and seal 2-5 times a week. some of my fave moisturizers are from claudies revitalizer and my oil blend i make usually has any mixture of olive, hemp, coconut, sapote, castor, kukui and/or meadowfoam oils. make sure if you do an oil blend that if it contains more than one oil that at least 1-2 contain ceramides. hemp and kukui are great examples of oils with ceramides that work beautifully.

i don't pre-poo with plain oil either, i usually use conditioner mixed with oils, aloe vera gel/juice, and/or molasses.

i'm actually anti-henna because its just too complicated....there are too many possibilities for mixes that may or may not work for your hair and its messy. it tends to be drying as stated and i'm hair lazy i don't want to have to add any extra steps or products to my reggie.

i'm not a huge fan of shea moisture products...with the little i've tried they just seem to be so-so. there are tons of other lines that are in the same price point or slightly higher that are better, IMO. darcy botanicals,komaza care, claudies revitalizer, and hydroquench systems are just a few that come to mind.



i'll tag a few ladies for ya, so you can get more feedback:

IDareT'sHair
empressri
darlingdiva
Lita
Nix08
 
You said that you tried a new regimen, but what is your usual regimen? What products do you normally use?

Also, how did you care for your hair while you had the braids?
 
Hi! It sounds like protein over-load..Try to limit/lay off the henna for a while..Moisturize,Moisturize with Dc,Cream leave-in & seal with a nice protein-free oil..No Protein for was while..After your hair is back to not breaking/being dry..You can balance it out by/doing combos..


Happy Hair Growing!
 
OMG this thread is exactly how i felt last night.
I wash Dc and then bam TANGLED MESS in the back of my head.
Ladies i was so close to bawling my eyes out. I lost sooo much hair,i truly believe my shedding had a hand to play in this mess ....sigh.
Im relaxed not bone straight so when i get deep in a stretch i have to be extra careful,dealing with 3 different textures n make sure i properly detangle i did that but after i was done with everything, my bathroom look like a hair murder crime scene ....i was so disappointed i didn't even bother to rollerset just air dried n went to sleep with a heavy heart

Sent from my GT-I9100G using LHCF
 
My bad Im sorry for bumrushing ur thread sweetie,just know i feel your pain. We will get thru this n you will look absolutely radiant on your wedding i speak it into existence.

Sent from my GT-I9100G using LHCF
 
sheanu I'm not sure if you still need help, but my advice would be to condition, condition, condition. Looking at your list of products used, you used quite a good bit of protein/strengthening treatments. Get a trim if necessary and ditch the braids.

Also try this leave-in on wet hair: coconut oil + kinky curly knot today + silicone free conditioner + a bit of castor oil. Mix it up and put it in your hair in sections. Braid those sections, let it dry and then take them down. Report back with how your hair feels love.
 
genesislocks said:
If your hair is anything like mine, you would love safflower oil, it has the highest concentration of ceramides and provides excellent health and shine to strands. (I also hear great things about grape seed oil)
Click to expand...


genesislocks how do you use the safflower oil? on dry or wet hair? how soon did you notice results?
 
Wow I'm sorry I haven't replied yet. I just took a little break to prepare for finals but I'm back and very happy to see how many of you ladies responded!

So here's an update:

I'm almost ashamed to say this but...I put in a sew-in. When i went to the salon to do my trial, my stylist was like "No. I can't style your hair like that because your hair is too thin and there won't be any way to cover your edges (if you want to see how my edges look...or somewhat look since they've grown in a bit since the pictures were taken, you can look at the thread I started about ladies who've recovered from scalp damage). She then suggested that I do a sew-in so that it could be styled somehow.

Needless to say I HATE the sew-in. It just does not look cute and I'm really deliberating getting it restyled for the wedding. I'm also very torn about what to do with my hair now. Should I just take it out and style my own hair? This is what I want to do because I can't really access my scalp with the sew-in and it's not healthy. But I also don't think I'll be confident with my hair being as patchy as it is right now. I'm officially addicted to weave!
 
sheanu said:
Wow I'm sorry I haven't replied yet. I just took a little break to prepare for finals but I'm back and very happy to see how many of you ladies responded!

So here's an update:

I'm almost ashamed to say this but...I put in a sew-in. When i went to the salon to do my trial, my stylist was like "No. I can't style your hair like that because your hair is too thin and there won't be any way to cover your edges (if you want to see how my edges look...or somewhat look since they've grown in a bit since the pictures were taken, you can look at the thread I started about ladies who've recovered from scalp damage). She then suggested that I do a sew-in so that it could be styled somehow.

Needless to say I HATE the sew-in. It just does not look cute and I'm really deliberating getting it restyled for the wedding. I'm also very torn about what to do with my hair now. Should I just take it out and style my own hair? This is what I want to do because I can't really access my scalp with the sew-in and it's not healthy. But I also don't think I'll be confident with my hair being as patchy as it is right now. I'm officially addicted to weave!
Click to expand...

I don't think you should get married with hair that you hate. Can you get the sew-in restyled or redone by a better stylist. If your hair and edges are thin maybe it's best to give it a break. How about a full wig. NikkiQ wore a really nice wig for her wedding...she looked beautiful. I'll try to find that thread.

Eta: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=570251
 
Last edited:
ellebelle88 said:
genesislocks how do you use the safflower oil? on dry or wet hair? how soon did you notice results?
Click to expand...


Safflower oil is my go-to oil. I use it on my dry or wet hair, I put it in my cassia treatments, I blend it with panthenol for strength and shine. I use it for everything lol.

>>The only thing I don't use it for is a heat protectant. I moisturize my hair with it the night before, rinse it out, then flat iron with tresemme heat spray only.

Well, for awhile I stopped using all oils altogether, including safflower oil, because I somehow got the idea that I no longer "needed" hair oil. I think it was just a "I don't want greasy hair" phase. Big mistake. Within a month, my hair looked dry..and kinda creepy. When I caught onto my hair mistake, I came crawling back to safflower oil and my hair was back up to speed within a week and a half :yep:
 
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