Another forgiveness thread

[Brownie]

I would like the feedback from other believers on this issue.
I have a close family member who I loved deeply and who I continue to love. I considered her like a sister. Well, she recently cussed me out (for no reason---just jealousy) and told me that she's hated me greatly for many years. She said a lot of hurtful things, for all of 15-20 minutes.

Recently, she apologized. Said she didn't mean all that she said, but I know that she did---what she said hit too close to home. She said that I often insulted her in the past, and she was also hurt about that. Sidenote: I would never intentionally do that. I loved her, and I often complimented and took up for her. If she was insulted by anything, it was because she wanted to find more reasons to dislike me because of her jealous tendencies.

Anyway, I forgive her because I could never dislike her, but I don't trust her anymore because for all these years, I thought she was being genuine with me, but she really disliked me and was harboring all these ill feelings. Yes, I forgive her, and I wish her well, but I never want to be in the same room with her again because I don't trust her. I feel like whatever I say to her, she's going to turn it around and use it as an excuse to put her anger off on me. Do you think it's okay to forgive, but to distance yourself permanently from that person?

 

[Koffie]

I would like the feedback from other believers on this issue.
I have a close family member who I loved deeply and who I continue to love. I considered her like a sister. Well, she recently cussed me out (for no reason---just jealousy) and told me that she's hated me greatly for many years. She said a lot of hurtful things, for all of 15-20 minutes.

Recently, she apologized. Said she didn't mean all that she said, but I know that she did---what she said hit too close to home. She said that I often insulted her in the past, and she was also hurt about that. Sidenote: I would never intentionally do that. I loved her, and I often complimented and took up for her. If she was insulted by anything, it was because she wanted to find more reasons to dislike me because of her jealous tendencies.

Anyway, I forgive her because I could never dislike her, but I don't trust her anymore because for all these years, I thought she was being genuine with me, but she really disliked me and was harboring all these ill feelings. Yes, I forgive her, and I wish her well, but I never want to be in the same room with her again because I don't trust her. I feel like whatever I say to her, she's going to turn it around and use it as an excuse to put her anger off on me.Do you think it's okay to forgive, but to distance yourself permanently from that person?

Yes.

 

[ClassicChic]

Forgiveness is a very big issue with many people. Yes, I think it is okay to forgive and distance yourself. Although she has apologized and may want to continue the relationship on the same terms, you are not ready. Proceed with this relationship at your own pace. If you feel the need to distance yourself then do what is best for you right now. You have emotions yourself to deal with. I, too, have taken this route and family members have critized me. I now have a friendly relationship with this family member but this was after a couple of years and when I was ready to deal.

 

[Brownie]

I, too, have taken this route and family members have critized me. I now have a friendly relationship with this family member but this was after a couple of years and when I was ready to deal.

It makes me feel better to know that you took this route. I think some people think they can say anything and everything in haste and at the heat of the moment, and once they apologize, the receiver is supposed to magically forget all those words. You're right, I forgive her, and I could never hate her, but I do need time to heal; however, I don't know if I'll ever fully trust her again. In the back of my mind, I'll always be thinking she's going to go off on me again.