Anger and God, What does he feel about it?

[kweenameena]

Okay.. so I'm still angry with my mom for a lot of the things that she did and didn't do throughout my childhood. I've lost tons of friends, lost my self-esteem and never really learned what is was like to have unconditional love and support because of her. Sometimes I remember different instances that have happened and I become angry all over again. I tried talking with my mom about it and how I feel but I just get the brush-off or she just can't see what I mean or some bull like that! In my anger I become evilina. It takes hold of me emotionally! I start to re-live events and I'm just furious!!! But I know that this is not like God. I want to be different. But how do you heal if the problem hasn't been fixed or atleast dealt with? What does God say about anger? How do you make the memories not hurt? Is it a sin to feel that much anger? I hope you all are understanding what I'm feeling and trying to ask. I guess it's just not coming out right. Am I being petty for still being hurt by things that happened years ago? Your advice is needed



Shimmie, where ya at girl?

 

[ritzbitz78]

There is a resolution to this...

I think you need to grieve the "ideal" mom you have in your mind. She was and is incapable of being a mother to you and probably will never ever be. (I say this with all respect) She cannot comprehend how she has hurt you, she doesn't have the capacity too.

You are looking to a stone for love hoping your anger will somehow change the stone into and loving human being or just understands. The stone didn't know any better... She probably had a jacked up life too so she can't give something she never received. (This is no excuse to treat you the way she did, just a reason)

That means the grieving process needs to officially begin for you. And the steps in grieving are: denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance. These steps happen all at once, or one step can last a loooong time. So I think God enters the anger/grieving stage with you. Jesus wept at Lazerus' funeral.. Remember Martha's thinly veiled anger at him, Rember Mary's disappointment in him? He cried (though He knew the outcome)

So God your loving heavenly Father cries with you and is angry with you that you were so hurt and that He was so misrepresented in the life of your mom.

God says, in your anger, do not sin. Meaning it is OK to get angry. Jesus threw tables over and shouted and screamed when someone messed with the House of God. He got ANGRY. And God sees your heart and knows your life.

After the "funeral" of the "mom you always wished she was" then comes the forgiveness... so that the anger does not permeate your life like a fire and destroy it.

Forgiveness is more about trusting God to be able to handle the vengeance in a situation. We want God to stick it to them... And He will in his Just way and in His time.

So its a journey... and I will be praying for you, that You feel God's presence the entire time, and that you fully understand that HE IS ABLE to do above and beyond what you ask or imagine.


thanks for posting your situation

 

[kweenameena]

thanks girl. i needed that. the bad thing is that mom is a foster parent. she's a great foster parent at that! suprising huh?! I also have a biological brother who is def. a momma's boy! I'm the oldest and we have different fathers. sometimes I think that has a lot to do with it. plus I remind her of one of her sisters who was treated better than her. I think that has a lot to do with it. it's funny because she brags about me to others but dogs me in my face. i guess my issue is not really that she wasn't a great mother but the fact that I've harbored anger for soo many years that I don't really know how to deal with my "new anger" if you know what I mean. I know it can't be godly to feel that much hatred in your heart when you're angry. Please keep me in your prayers, really!