Am I wrong if…..

[eyunka]

I sell a concert ticket without my husband’s knowledge?

Here is the back story. We discussed taking our dd to the New Edition concert several weeks ago. Thought it would a good idea. Fast forward to last week, DH reminds me of the concert I tell him I don’t think we need to go because he has my birthday and our ds birthday coming up this month it’s not in our budget. He disagrees with me saying we are going to be fine. He asked to borrow my debit card to purchase the tickets that day to ensure he gets the seats he wants and will be paying back in a couple days. I agreed and told him to just get tickets for him and dd. Also don’t worry about getting me anything for my bday.(which I know he going to anyway) If he goes over his budget that means I have to help him out later in the month. I don’t like that.
Through conversation with my dd I find out he bought 3 tickets. Would I be wrong for selling the 3rd ticket to one of my dd’s friends without his knowledge and give him the money from the ticket? Technically it is his tickets and should be able to do what he wants with them.

 

[Taleah2009]

I'm not married so take my advice with a grain of salt, but I say don't do it. Any time you do something in secret, it never really ends well. If he thinks he can afford 3 tickets, maybe he can. How would you be able to sell the ticket without him knowing?

 

[Windsy]

"Technically it is his tickets"....yes it would be wrong Eyunka.

 

[eyunka]

He would eventually find out, but i want to make the transaction before he knows there is only 2 tickets let. I agree secrets never end well and I know I'm taking the chance of him being really upset with me but I would rather that then to have come out of my pocket later in the month to help out.

 

[Windsy]

He would eventually find out, but i want to make the transaction before he knows there is only 2 tickets let. I agree secrets never end well and I know I'm taking the chance of him being really upset with me but I would rather that then to have come out of my pocket later in the month to help out.

There are underlying problems here and the ticket purchase is just a symptom of this; not to mention the willingness to go behind his back just to make sure you guys aren't going to be hit financially with this purchase.

I thoroughly enjoy your posts Eyunka and e-like you but I can't ignore the bad taste that some of your threads (posts) leave in my mouth when it comes to priorities and finances.

You and your DH need to seek financial advice and I suggest that 1 of you become the person that is solely responsible for financial decisions, stick to it and respect the financial decisions that are made.

It seems that you all want to give your children the best buy financially it doesn't appear that you all are in the best position to do so.

I strongly suggest financial advice!!!

Good Luck!!

 

[Pat Mahurr]

Please don't. It's insulting.

He intended to buy 3 tickets. For you to go back and undo what he did is to say "You're so stupid that I can't even reason with you -- I'll just fix this situation myself." This is bound to cause hurt feelings and probably a confrontation or two. He is an adult, after all.

Also, it seems you two have separate finances ("he will pay me back"). I don't know the rules of your arrangement (and I'm trying hard not to judge), but it seems to me that if the two of you control your money separately, maybe you shouldn't assume that you know all the money he'll have access to for the coming month. If your previous experiences have shown you he's bad with money, I think you two really need to do more talking about money, and in general. Work on teamwork, ya know?

 

[hopeful]

I would be frustrated if I were you as well. You say no, he insists, then he uses your debit card to get the tickets. So yeah, it's obvious that he doesn't have the money and that you will have to help him out later in the month -- ugh! So annoying! But don't sell the ticket. Wait and see what happens, and if he asks for help later in the month, have the difficult conversation then. Tell him this is why you knew you couldn't afford the tickets and that this is very stressful for you. Tell him he needs to listen to you next time. Men have very fragile egos when it comes to money. While you can say no to your daughter and be good, it's just not that easy for him. But if he is going to be a big spender it's unfair of him to drag you into it. But I will say that this is a common problem with young couples (assuming you are young). Just keep talking, be honest, and hang in there. I know it's frustrating.

 

[anoriginalpyt]

I'd like to pop in real quick and say that your presence would be missed at the concert. I believe DH purchased all three so that you all could go together. You selling the ticket would also say that you don't want to be there.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I'm not married but I wouldn't do it. It's his tickets, his decision and anything you have to do in secret from your spouse is not a good idea. If he thinks you can afford it, trust him.

 

[Naveah2050]

Don't do it Op! It will cause more problems than it will solve!

 

[PretteePlease]

Wrong as having no legs in an a$$ kicking contest Don't do it

 

[eyunka]

My assumptions were right....but i gave the ticket back. No birthday gift and none for our ds either Mom came thru as usually for ds. Yeah there are deep underlines problems here. yeah i've known that for awhile. Do i care to share? NAW.

It's a day after my bday and I'm . I recieved birthday wishes via fb from dh...wow. This x-mas my oldest ds spent over $70 for a gf he only dated a month and i recieved nothing. Actions like this can really make you question your worth.

 

[Mortons]

My assumptions were right....but i gave the ticket back. No birthday gift and none for our ds either Mom came thru as usually for ds. Yeah there are deep underlines problems here. yeah i've known that for awhile. Do i care to share? NAW.

It's a day after my bday and I'm . I recieved birthday wishes via fb from dh...wow. This x-mas my oldest ds spent over $70 for a gf he only dated a month and i recieved nothing. Actions like this can really make you question your worth.

I'm not trying to be rude, so please forgive me if this comes off too blunt, but it sounds like poor financial management/priorities are being passed down to the next generation. You don't have to share if you don't feel comfortable, but it would be advantageous for you all to seek some professional advice on getting your financial house in order. Especially since it seems to be spilling over into other areas of your familial relationships.

 

[eyunka]

Mortons

Maybe so....he had/has money he just didn't think to get a present. I do understand where you are coming from.

I'm not trying to be rude, so please forgive me if this comes off too blunt, but it sounds like poor financial management/priorities are being passed down to the next generation. You don't have to share if you don't feel comfortable, but it would be advantageous for you all to seek some professional advice on getting your financial house in order. Especially since it seems to be spilling over into other areas of your familial relationships.

 

[carcajada]

I'm sorry, op. I have no advice. I just know every couple has problems and I hope y'all get to the root of yall's.