Am I trippin???

S

Serenity K

New Member
DH's high school reunion is this weekend, and I had planned on attending the events w/him. He informs me that the 1st night he doesn't want me to go because its the 1st night and that's when everyone catches up w/each other. So he doesn't want me to interrupt his time talking to old friends/exes. He thinks they will feel uncomfortable talking to him for an extended length of time if I am near by. Oh, and no one else is bringing their SO. (So he says. He has only spoken w/ a few classmates). The setting will be in a bar/lounge. I'm like I already know how it goes w/ the exes, so you not wanting me around on the first night is not cool w/ me. And because of our religious beliefs, HE knows its not even cool to be up in no other females grill anyway. I personally feel like he just wants to be able to chill like he was in high school, but he knows its not appropriate anymore, so he doesn't want me around. Am I trippin, or is this a legitimate concern?
 
No you are not trippin'. Go with your gut feeling. He should be proud to be showing you off to his friends etc regardless of whether they want you there or not. However sometimes men really don't have a clue :rolleyes: so talk to him about it - let him know your concerns and if he insists that you don't come on the first night, INSIST that you are going to be there for every single one of the other nights. Hope it all goes well for you.
 
No you not trippin...go and read Thickhair's thread "I turned him down" about a school reunion. How could he say that people will feel awkward talking to him while you're standing there. If it is another woman then she should... You ain't trippin, he is
 
well put...i concur

he probably thinks you will be crowding him and on him all night--
but maybe explaining to him that you will be by his side while equally giving him his space...would enlighten him on why he should have his wife there with him--proud and supporting him...

ex's i dont even know why he brought that up--what the bleep an ex got to do with anything now--pleaseeeee


michc said:
No you are not trippin'. Go with your gut feeling. He should be proud to be showing you off to his friends etc regardless of whether they want you there or not. However sometimes men really don't have a clue :rolleyes: so talk to him about it - let him know your concerns and if he insists that you don't come on the first night, INSIST that you are going to be there for every single one of the other nights. Hope it all goes well for you.
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Okay, thank you ladies. I will be informing him that I WILL be there. Oh, and one of the exes is the one he thought he was gonna marry before me. Ain't no way in hell, I'ma let that "reunion" happen without me being there!!
 
Serenity K said:
Okay, thank you ladies. I will be informing him that I WILL be there. Oh, and one of the exes is the one he thought he was gonna marry before me. Ain't no way in hell, I'ma let that "reunion" happen without me being there!!
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:lachen::lachen:what that kneegrow thankin? :lachen::lachen:
 
How many nights will the reunion take place? If it is one night then I don't think your tripping but if the reunion takes place over a couple of nights and he has already agreed to take you the other night,what"s the problem.If he is already telling you he will need his space then that means he thinks your gonna cling to him, Men like confident women prove him wrong.Don't demand to go you will increase his belief that you want to cramp his style. Ladies sometimes a man need to have your confidence and understanding that you have trust in him.I would give him my blessing and make sure to tell him How much I trust him.I would also have a week long of mind blowing sex before sending him anywhere near an EX.Just remember, If he is gonna play you a man can play you anytime and anywhere if he really want to.
 
Serenity K said:
DH's high school reunion is this weekend, and I had planned on attending the events w/him. He informs me that the 1st night he doesn't want me to go because its the 1st night and that's when everyone catches up w/each other. So he doesn't want me to interrupt his time talking to old friends/exes. He thinks they will feel uncomfortable talking to him for an extended length of time if I am near by. Oh, and no one else is bringing their SO. (So he says. He has only spoken w/ a few classmates). The setting will be in a bar/lounge. I'm like I already know how it goes w/ the exes, so you not wanting me around on the first night is not cool w/ me. And because of our religious beliefs, HE knows its not even cool to be up in no other females grill anyway. I personally feel like he just wants to be able to chill like he was in high school, but he knows its not appropriate anymore, so he doesn't want me around. Am I trippin, or is this a legitimate concern?
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So, your husband is putting his perceived concerns about the feelings of high school friends and girlfriends over yours? No, you're not trippin at all. :nono:
 
he knows full well that mess would not fly if the tables were turned...

do what you gotta do, serenity, cuz you ain't trippin at all!
 
If no one else is bring their wives or husbands (assuming there are a few who are married) then I sort of could see it. But you are definetely not trippin.
 
It is a little odd. And how does he know nobody is bringing their SOs?

I will say that I went with DH to a high school reunion of sorts and it kinda sucked because they spent a whole bunch of time talking to each other about people they knew, stuff they did, places they knew, and I didn't know any of that. They had to spend time trying to catch me up on the info, it was annoying and redundant on both ends of the convo.

I would hope that your DH said that with the best of intentions, that he wanted space as well as to spare you the bore, but not because he wants to be in some shady business. You know him better than we do.

I would think that people will bring their spouses, and if you are game and understand how awkward it may be, that he would want you to come along. I dunno, some people I know went to their reunions solo.
 
onyxdreams said:
How many nights will the reunion take place? If it is one night then I don't think your tripping but if the reunion takes place over a couple of nights and he has already agreed to take you the other night,what"s the problem? If he is already telling you he will need his space then that means he thinks your gonna cling to him, Men like confident women. Prove him wrong.Don't demand to go you will increase his belief that you want to cramp his style. Ladies sometimes a man need to have your confidence and understanding that you have trust in him.I would give him my blessing and make sure to tell him How much I trust him.I would also have a week long of mind blowing sex before sending him anywhere near an EX.Just remember, If he is gonna play you a man can play you anytime and anywhere if he really want to.
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I agree (except for the mind-blowing sex part). Shoot, I wouldn't even bother with that.

No, you're not tripping in the sense that what he said indicated some immaturity and lack of respect for your feelings. However, dang if I'm going to cling to or babysit a man! I am not his mother or his moral compass. If I have to sit at his shoulder to prevent his eyes, lips, hands or pecker from roaming, then that is not a man I want to be married to.

If your man is not the type to roam, then there is no problem, and you can stay away for one night. And if he is that type, well then :ohwell:, you can't be with him all the time for the rest of your marriage.

Are you that insecure about his regard for you that you feel that only your presence is going to prevent him from running off with the ex? Nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman who is *serenely* confident about her attractiveness and who trusts him to be a good man. And nothing is more unattractive than nagging, clinginess, petulance, insecurity.

I could probably quote several chapters of "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus" to say why you shouldn't tag along where you're not wanted. But I'll just use common sense and say you should serenely allow him to go on his way alone, take the time to pamper yourself and get yourself all fixed up to knock the socks off everyone the next night.

Just my opinion though. Feel free to ignore it.
 
Serenity K said:
DH's high school reunion is this weekend, and I had planned on attending the events w/him. He informs me that the 1st night he doesn't want me to go because its the 1st night and that's when everyone catches up w/each other. So he doesn't want me to interrupt his time talking to old friends/exes. He thinks they will feel uncomfortable talking to him for an extended length of time if I am near by. Oh, and no one else is bringing their SO. (So he says. He has only spoken w/ a few classmates). The setting will be in a bar/lounge. I'm like I already know how it goes w/ the exes, so you not wanting me around on the first night is not cool w/ me. And because of our religious beliefs, HE knows its not even cool to be up in no other females grill anyway. I personally feel like he just wants to be able to chill like he was in high school, but he knows its not appropriate anymore, so he doesn't want me around. Am I trippin, or is this a legitimate concern?
Click to expand...



This would not be considered trippin' by me...sounds really immature to me to have their concerns above yours:sad:!!
 
onyxdreams said:
How many nights will the reunion take place? If it is one night then I don't think your tripping but if the reunion takes place over a couple of nights and he has already agreed to take you the other night,what"s the problem.If he is already telling you he will need his space then that means he thinks your gonna cling to him, Men like confident women prove him wrong.Don't demand to go you will increase his belief that you want to cramp his style. Ladies sometimes a man need to have your confidence and understanding that you have trust in him.I would give him my blessing and make sure to tell him How much I trust him.I would also have a week long of mind blowing sex before sending him anywhere near an EX.Just remember, If he is gonna play you a man can play you anytime and anywhere if he really want to.
Click to expand...



Yes, he agreed to take me the other nights. The last thing I said in the convo. was " Okay babe, I'll go to what ever events you invite me to". I could see how clingy and insecure I was beginning to look. At the time it was extremely hard to let it go, at least I thought I had let it go. I started to play out stuff i my head and had changed my mind about going to what ever he invites me to. I haven't said any thing else, and wanted to get an outside opinion before I let my emotions take over. The more I thought about how if it was reversed, he would not like it (Although he would never let me know how much).

I am already ahead of you w/the sex. Had to do a drive by at his job yesterday. I'm planning the "activities" according to our schedules. :grin: Gotta throw in a whole lotta unexpectedness!


I agree (except for the mind-blowing sex part). Shoot, I wouldn't even bother with that.

No, you're not tripping in the sense that what he said indicated some immaturity and lack of respect for your feelings. However, dang if I'm going to cling to or babysit a man! I am not his mother or his moral compass. If I have to sit at his shoulder to prevent his eyes, lips, hands or pecker from roaming, then that is not a man I want to be married to.

If your man is not the type to roam, then there is no problem, and you can stay away for one night. And if he is that type, well then :ohwell:, you can't be with him all the time for the rest of your marriage.

Are you that insecure about his regard for you that you feel that only your presence is going to prevent him from running off with the ex? Nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman who is *serenely* confident about her attractiveness and who trusts him to be a good man. And nothing is more unattractive than nagging, clinginess, petulance, insecurity.

I could probably quote several chapters of "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus" to say why you shouldn't tag along where you're not wanted. But I'll just use common sense and say you should serenely allow him to go on his way alone, take the time to pamper yourself and get yourself all fixed up to knock the socks off everyone the next night.

Just my opinion though. Feel free to ignore it.
Click to expand...


I totally agree w/this post (except for the mindblowing sex :grin:)
This was my thoughts after the initial convo. I just let myself get worked up imagining all kind of scenarios. I trust him, and whats more, I trust God. God has always exposed the truth to me, and I trust He will continue to. Sometimes I forget about this. Whenever something is exposed to me, then I will choose to react.
 
ebonylocs said:
I agree (except for the mind-blowing sex part). Shoot, I wouldn't even bother with that.

No, you're not tripping in the sense that what he said indicated some immaturity and lack of respect for your feelings. However, dang if I'm going to cling to or babysit a man! I am not his mother or his moral compass. If I have to sit at his shoulder to prevent his eyes, lips, hands or pecker from roaming, then that is not a man I want to be married to.

If your man is not the type to roam, then there is no problem, and you can stay away for one night. And if he is that type, well then :ohwell:, you can't be with him all the time for the rest of your marriage.

Are you that insecure about his regard for you that you feel that only your presence is going to prevent him from running off with the ex? Nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman who is *serenely* confident about her attractiveness and who trusts him to be a good man. And nothing is more unattractive than nagging, clinginess, petulance, insecurity.

I could probably quote several chapters of "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus" to say why you shouldn't tag along where you're not wanted. But I'll just use common sense and say you should serenely allow him to go on his way alone, take the time to pamper yourself and get yourself all fixed up to knock the socks off everyone the next night.

Just my opinion though. Feel free to ignore it.
Click to expand...

Exactly what you said.
 
vivmaiko said:
It is a little odd. And how does he know nobody is bringing their SOs?

I will say that I went with DH to a high school reunion of sorts and it kinda sucked because they spent a whole bunch of time talking to each other about people they knew, stuff they did, places they knew, and I didn't know any of that. They had to spend time trying to catch me up on the info, it was annoying and redundant on both ends of the convo.

I would hope that your DH said that with the best of intentions, that he wanted space as well as to spare you the bore, but not because he wants to be in some shady business. You know him better than we do.

I would think that people will bring their spouses, and if you are game and understand how awkward it may be, that he would want you to come along. I dunno, some people I know went to their reunions solo.
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I agree with this post - it may not be so much that he wants to be free to flirt with old lady friends, as he doesn't want you to spend the whole night trotting along behind him like a lost pony and pretending to laugh at inside jokes. It's hard to pay proper attn to your SO when you're so caught up in seeing everybody again and talking a mile a minute about "remember this? remember that?" He might be trying to save himself from the fight that comes afterward b/c you felt ignored the whole night...just a different perspective to consider.
 
onyxdreams said:
How many nights will the reunion take place? If it is one night then I don't think your tripping but if the reunion takes place over a couple of nights and he has already agreed to take you the other night,what"s the problem.If he is already telling you he will need his space then that means he thinks your gonna cling to him, Men like confident women prove him wrong.Don't demand to go you will increase his belief that you want to cramp his style. Ladies sometimes a man need to have your confidence and understanding that you have trust in him.I would give him my blessing and make sure to tell him How much I trust him.I would also have a week long of mind blowing sex before sending him anywhere near an EX.Just remember, If he is gonna play you a man can play you anytime and anywhere if he really want to.
Click to expand...
I totally agree with this post

stay away.....if you tag along and he doesn't want you there, you both are not going to enjoy the event anyways
 
Is this the Stone Mountain reunion downtown? My SO says he doesn't even care to go because it's nothing but trying to hook up with old females and what not and he's not interested in going. Keep us posted how the weekend turns out.
 
I was chairman of my class reunion a few years ago and the Friday night get together was primarily only the people who were in the class. There were a few spouses there - very few. Either they had known us when we were in school or they were from out of town. The Friday night event was a very casual night - most of the guys hung together and told tall tales about high school football and basketball games (boy they told some whoppers), the women sat around and gossiped and shared pics of the children. Nobody was trying to pick up anybody or rekindle anything. Most of the spouses I talked to during the planning and at the Saturday and Sunday events didn't want to attend Friday because they understood that there would be references to old jokes that they wouldn't understand, talk about old teachers, etc. It can be a drag on the conversation if everytime a joke is told your spouse has to turn around to explain the whole backstory - and after it is explained you don't think it was funny (one of those "you had to be there" things). The guys acted like they were 16 or 17 again - not Romeos, but bonehead adolescents. One-handed pushup challenges; running outside (as a group) to look at somebody's vintage Corvette - that sort of thing.
 
Serenity K said:
Okay, thank you ladies. I will be informing him that I WILL be there. Oh, and one of the exes is the one he thought he was gonna marry before me. Ain't no way in hell, I'ma let that "reunion" happen without me being there!!
Click to expand...


Go on! Girl!! He the one trippin'! I would be right there keepin' that ish in check!
 
This was an interesting topic. But I feel some people missed the part where the OP said her DH thought his old female friends would feel uncomfortable with her being there? Since when did an old flame's feeling trump your wife's? I'm sorry but I would be right there dancin' and drankin', I don't have to follow him around, especially if it's at a bar/lounge.
 
likewtr4chklit said:
This was an interesting topic. But I feel some people missed the part where the OP said her DH thought his old female friends would feel uncomfortable with her being there? Since when did an old flame's feeling trump your wife's? ...
Click to expand...
Yeah, I agree. Although I didn't address it in-depth, that's why I said he was being kind of immature and inconsiderate.

But I still don't see how tagging along would change his behaviour / thought process. And after he said that, I wouldn't even want to be there.
 
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