Am I Overreacting?

I bolded what I consider to be red flags from what you wrote, so I’ll address those.

1) the career ambition. This is a big one. You can’t force someone to want more for themselves, so this will be a problem. He seems more laid back about advancing than you are, and he may never change. If he’s not pushing for that CPA title now, when he has time to do so, I find it hard to believe he’ll do it later with a wife and potentially children taking up his time.

2) the family. A couple of questions here: have you met them? Do you like them? Does his relationship with them seem dysfunctional? Do they bring the drama and need help from him a lot? If the answer is yes to any except the first two questions, that’s a major issue waiting to happen. You marry your spouse’s family as well, so you have to be comfy with how they interact - unless he’s willing to change in that regard.

3) different vision. This is where I think you know deep down that this won’t work long term. You do not want to continue getting serious about a relationship with someone who has a different vision for the future. It’s too big of a deal to smooth over.

Based on this, I don’t think you’re overreacting and I’d reassess the relationship. The other points you made aren’t huge deals to me personally, but I think the ones I mentioned are major enough to warrant action.
 
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I wouldn’t do any nudging or probing. I’d take note of his actions and see if they fit with what you want for your life or whatever compromised version of your life you’d be okay with living. IMO, this seems like a bit of a force fit, which doesn’t usually end well. Wishing you the best, whatever you decide!
 
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This sounds like your rationalizing because you don't think you'll find another man who will treat you as well, meanwhile you're building a list of things you cant stand about him in your head.

Good luck with whatever you decide, but don't make decision to attach yourself to people out of fear of "not finding better" in a package more to your "taste"....whatever that may be. Choose him because you believe you have enough shared values to build a life together, he would provide for you, etc....
 
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I think you should keep your original post to get feedback from more people.

I personally don't think you should end things with him. He is educated and has a job. So he is not as driven as you, you can encourage him to do better as you become closer and you can comfortably talk to him about things. Some people are ok with little money as long as it pays their bills and they are debt free. Not everyone thinks of being rich. Many people like this can change once they have an incentive to do better.

I don't think seeing his family frequently is a bad thing. Could be a sign that he will be a committed family man. The way a man treats his family is important. You should worry if he didn't care about them. As long as his family treats you well, I don't see this as a deal breaker.

Now the body movement noise, cut it in the bud. Stand your ground, make him understand it bothers you and just because he doesn't think it should does not mean he should act that way. Also let him know when he does yucky things like the sweat incident.

I don't think having doubts about a man at beginning and not leaving the man means you think you can't do better. Many married couples weren't sure at first when they started dating.

Personally once a man passes my deal breakers, the way he treats me is most important. If he treats me well and there is attraction, I will give it a go.
 
Seems like you are not inspired or impressed with this guy. His habit that simply annoy you now will make you want to kick him in the teeth later.
TRUST
We all start eager to learn about each other and see where thing will head.
FAIR ENOUGH
but
Once you know; it's your responsibility (I'd dare say a measure of your character) to let them go once you realize you are not interested in taking things to the next level.
 
If you like him why not just keep dating him and see where it goes? Not quite 3 months isn’t very long. Have fun and enjoy the companionship. Get to know him better. And date multiple people for sure. I would clearly tell him that bathroom thing is unacceptable for you. If he does it again drop him. And I would not be nudging nobody. Observe and watch. If you are the type to be dating for marriage and not fun, friendship, learning, etc., and don’t date multiple people, then you probably should move on.

Also, nothing wrong with you wanting the finer things in life, but if that isn’t important to him, he will hold you back and you will grow to resent him. Nothing wrong with living a simpler life or a more extravagant one, but they are two different goals.
 
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