Ain't trying to push up on a brotha . . .

Make the suggestion of not ending the date by picking up daughter and doing something

  • Yes

    Votes: 1 6.3%

  • No

    Votes: 15 93.8%
  • Total voters
    16
LovinLocks

LovinLocks

Well-Known Member
Putting this to the ladies 'cause yaw'll ain't no joke when it comes to guy radar.

Date scheduled for this Friday, aquarium and Eco Tour boat excursion. About a week or so after plans made he informs he now keeps his daughter (12 years old) after school and the aquarium is doable, but maybe "the boat ride can be done on a Saturday".

A girlfriend says "Why don't you suggest to him that after aquarium you THREE do something together" so the date does not have to end. You see, the woman sees the guy infrequently (hasn't seen him for about 5 weeks so she'd rather not cancel). She has received no indication that he intends for this daughter to meet her (they've been dating since June) and thus is not comfortable making that suggestion. She expresses this to girlfriend who retorts, "Why are you being negative? Aww girl, put your big girl panties on, suggest it to him and let me know."

I JUST AIN'T FEELING DOING THAT YAW'LL. Is it me???
 
He will suggest that you and the DD do something together when he thinks its appropriate. Slow your roll and leave him wanting more...
 
^^^ Tru. If he wanted you to meet his kid, HE would have suggested the trio date.
Saturday would be best until he's comfortable.
 
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ITA with the other posts! He clearly thought about it and made an alternative suggestion. If had wanted ol' girl to meet the daughter, he would have suggested it. She doesn't need to listen to the other lady...that lady will have her dateless in 3.5 seconds with that tomfoolery. Men (and women) will let you know when they are comfortable with you meeting their children. Until then, the other party needs to fall back.

Plus, I don't think I'm understanding why she'd have to cancel. She can just do the Aquarium and let that be that....
 
Why hasn't she seen him for 5 weeks?

If they've been "dating" since June, why is she just now finding out he takes care of his daughter after school?

Anyway...

Ms Girlfriend is not *yet* a priority for Brotha, but taking care of his daughter is. And rightly so. Maybe it's too soon for him to know in this June-minus-5-weeks "relationship" (?) if Ms Girlfriend is a passing fancy or a permanent partner, and he's being careful of who he presents to his daughter. I think that's wise on his part.

Also, since Ms. Girlfriend's been "dating" this Brotha only since June-minus-5-weeks, she might not want to meet his daughter. What if she loves the little girl, but ends up hating the dad? Why break a little girl's heart?

I say what everyone else said. Fall back! Get in line behind the Little Girl! If Ms. Girlfriend doesn't want to wait her turn, she should get in another line. (...which I would seriously consider w/o hearing a good reason for a 5-week absence.) lol.
 
LovinLocks said:
LD; live in separate cities; yet still care for one another.
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Oh, ok. That might be a good reason. So, has Girlfriend made the trek to his town to see him and now he's scaling back the date? Or is he coming to her town just for the 1/2 date, then going back to pick up his DD after school?

LovinLocks said:
New development, just started recently.
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Ok. Thanks for answering those questions. They were e-bothering me. :lol:

I still say she should not try to make it a trio.
 
She has no intent on ever approaching him re. his child. The girlfriend vehemently stating she was being negative by NOT asking him simply is what prompted the poll.
 
GoingNatural said:
he knows she isn't the one. period. that is all.
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I would say he doesn't know if she is the one. Either he hasn't made his mind up yet about her and the role she's going to play in his life and/or he's seeing other people and doesn't want to bring his daughter into that.

Good for him for protecting his daughter. But personally, I wouldn't be hanging with him much longer like this.
 
ambergirl said:
I would say he doesn't know if she is the one. Either he hasn't made his mind up yet about her and the role she's going to play in his life and/or he's seeing other people and doesn't want to bring his daughter into that.

Good for him for protecting his daughter. But personally, I wouldn't be hanging with him much longer like this.
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I see your points.

In case I didn't make this clear in original post, I am speaking of myself! In the grand scheme of things, I think 4 months is too soon and I'm so good on not dealing with lil miss. Again, I was kinda taken aback when my girl came at me (you had to hear tone) about ME being negative. :look: Dude is a pretty cool cat from what I can tell and yeah, as a woman who had four lil girls, I ain't mad at him. Plus, shoot, I'm still trying to get to know HIM, not trying to bring other personalities into the mix. I just wanted to see if there would be validation to my way of thinking that "Heck no, I WILL NOT be asking him to bring Lil Miss" along. Besides, she's still in that "I want mommy and daddy to be together" stage to which he explained, "I love your mother as being your Mom, which she is good at; but we will never be back together" from what I overstand he has explained to her when I inquired.

Wish me fun on tomorrow's date. He's a riot and I'm looking forward to it.
 
I actually respect a man more for taking his time introducing women that he's dating to his children. At the point that you're introducing your kids to a woman that you're DATING, marriage has already been considered a possibility.

Take your time. Have fun. And just understand (and respect the fact that) you're dating a man who has a child/children and his child(ren) are his first priority. You respecting that fact will also have him see you in a different light.
 
LovinLocks said:
I see your points.

In case I didn't make this clear in original post, I am speaking of myself! In the grand scheme of things, I think 4 months is too soon and I'm so good on not dealing with lil miss. Again, I was kinda taken aback when my girl came at me (you had to hear tone) about ME being negative. :look: Dude is a pretty cool cat from what I can tell and yeah, as a woman who had four lil girls, I ain't mad at him. Plus, shoot, I'm still trying to get to know HIM, not trying to bring other personalities into the mix. I just wanted to see if there would be validation to my way of thinking that "Heck no, I WILL NOT be asking him to bring Lil Miss" along. Besides, she's still in that "I want mommy and daddy to be together" stage to which he explained, "I love your mother as being your Mom, which she is good at; but we will never be back together" from what I overstand he has explained to her when I inquired.

Wish me fun on tomorrow's date. He's a riot and I'm looking forward to it.
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Okay, thanks for explaining. I agree 4 months is too soon to be meeting his daughter. Like you, I do not want to meet a potential mates kids until we're clear that we are going to make a go of it as a couple. Makes it easier to deal with any discomfort the kids might feel if you are both in agreement that the goal from the get go is to make this work as a couple or blended family.

Have fun girl on your date and report back when you get a chance
 
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