Against Approaching

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Ok ladies, who approached who? Do you still believe in the "traditional" way or the "new" way?

I have stated in previous posts that I don't approach the opposite sex or even strangers but it's now to the point that I probably will have to be the one to approach him. I'm definitely old school when it comes to the man should approach the woman. But I do know of women who approached their boyfriends/husbands and it's working out.

 

[Maracujá]

I ain't got no man but I believe in the traditional way...maybe that's why I ain't got no man

 

[honeycomb719]

LOL, Im a traditional girl as well. My DH initated contact with me first, soooo I dont know.... Ive never been the female that approached a man. I feel like its out of order. Im all about being decent and in order (although some aspects of my life wasnt in order, but I digress)....I feel like if he is interested he will make it known. Plus, in the long scheme of things, it is you who is taking on his last name if marriage comes about, so he needs to approach you.
I feel like that is why the order is set-up the way it is (because the women takes on the mans name so the man is the initiator)..Unless you ask him out, ask him to marry you, and he takes on your last name. LOL... I know Im rambling, but thats how I look at it.
I think we have given men a past on so must now-a-days, that men dont have to be MEN anymore. But, then men are complaining that we are emasculating them.

 

[calmsensual1]

I dont really approach men.
I just talk to them. ONLY if theyre already right next to me though.
Like I aint about to walk across the room in pursuit of the nookie. you know?

 

[Renewed1]

I use to approach men, but I noticed those relationships didn't work out for me. So now I make it known to men that it's ok to approach me.

 

[NYAmicas]

I ain't got no man but I believe in the traditional way...maybe that's why I ain't got no man

Sorry, this made me chuckle a bit. lol


I've only approached a guy once and it was really exciting. We hit it off too.

Other than that I dont do it, probably because Im so shy, I wont knock someone who does it if it's working for them.

 

[pisceschica]

I want to be the one doing the rejecting.

Besides when I go to date someone I generally prefer for them to be a friend of a friend so that I have some background information aobut them and some "heads" up (ie: crazy ex, mama's boy, etc.)

 

[kandake]

I've never approached a guy and I don't think that will change anytime soon. I have very traditional views on male/female "roles" when it comes to dating and relationships

 

[SuchMagnificent]

I have never approached a guy and never will. My SO approached me and I believe thats how it should be. I know of some women that do it, but its just not for me. I am so self conscious at times that I know I would die at even the slightest hint of rejection. I was always second guessing or talking to myself when I was single about men I thought were cute. But I tried to look as "approachable" as possible...lol

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I will not be approaching guys anymore, I used to...and got tired of it.

Nothing wrong with smiling a little if a guy looks like he wants to approach.

 

[DaPPeR]

Physically, I have never done so and don't plan on it. Traditional all the way.

Although, I have written notes to men I found attractive on the internet and have found that those that I did "approach" never lasted. And Vice versa it always worked out. I had two long term relationships through it.

 

[JustKiya]

DH approached me.

I gave him my number - without him asking for it.

So, I guess a little bit of both. I've never made a habit of approaching a man - but I did work very hard to insure that I was approachable.

a) Not going out with more than 2-3 other women.
b) Smiling at almost everyone (ie, anyone who looks sane)
c) Making eye contact (added this to the smile, sometimes)
d) Kept an eye on my body language - no crossed arms, no hands on the hips, no stiffness - stayed very relaxed and comfortable in my body.
e) If I was nervous, I played with a piece of jewelry (twirling a ring is a good one!) or with my hair
f) Telepathy (hey, it worked, sometimes. I assume something in my smell or body language changed)

There are ways to approach a man without ever moving your feet.

 

[FlowerHair]

DH approached me.

I gave him my number - without him asking for it.

So, I guess a little bit of both. I've never made a habit of approaching a man - but I did work very hard to insure that I was approachable.

a) Not going out with more than 2-3 other women.
b) Smiling at almost everyone (ie, anyone who looks sane)
c) Making eye contact (added this to the smile, sometimes)
d) Kept an eye on my body language - no crossed arms, no hands on the hips, no stiffness - stayed very relaxed and comfortable in my body.
e) If I was nervous, I played with a piece of jewelry (twirling a ring is a good one!) or with my hair
f) Telepathy (hey, it worked, sometimes. I assume something in my smell or body language changed)

There are ways to approach a man without ever moving your feet.

I do the bolded and follow the points you wrote below too.
It works well.

 

[Son26]

DH approached me.

I gave him my number - without him asking for it.

So, I guess a little bit of both. I've never made a habit of approaching a man - but I did work very hard to insure that I was approachable.

a) Not going out with more than 2-3 other women.
b) Smiling at almost everyone (ie, anyone who looks sane)
c) Making eye contact (added this to the smile, sometimes)
d) Kept an eye on my body language - no crossed arms, no hands on the hips, no stiffness - stayed very relaxed and comfortable in my body.
e) If I was nervous, I played with a piece of jewelry (twirling a ring is a good one!) or with my hair
f) Telepathy (hey, it worked, sometimes. I assume something in my smell or body language changed)

There are ways to approach a man without ever moving your feet.

I do this if I'm interested in a guy and it works

 

[song_of_serenity]

Don't approach, but I do give the sign that he could (a warm smile, etc)

 

[Ms Red]

I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him a question... but it wasn't 'making the first move' or 'approaching him.' Just an honest question because he happened to be standing in front of me. From that tap on, he made all the advances and I like it!

 

[andromeda]

DH approached me.

I gave him my number - without him asking for it.

So, I guess a little bit of both. I've never made a habit of approaching a man - but I did work very hard to insure that I was approachable.

a) Not going out with more than 2-3 other women.
b) Smiling at almost everyone (ie, anyone who looks sane) - I have to work on this. My natural facial expression is rather dour...
c) Making eye contact (added this to the smile, sometimes)
d) Kept an eye on my body language - no crossed arms, no hands on the hips, no stiffness - stayed very relaxed and comfortable in my body.
e) If I was nervous, I played with a piece of jewelry (twirling a ring is a good one!) or with my hair
f) Telepathy (hey, it worked, sometimes. I assume something in my smell or body language changed)

There are ways to approach a man without ever moving your feet.

I was going to say this. I'm traditional but am willing to use body language in lieu of "making the first move". I actually approached a guy once in the train station (I was completely uninterested in him, but had to ask about the book he was reading) and it wasn't so bad, but that's probably bc my motives were different.

 

[Marley4920]

Traditional. The two times I did approach it did not work out for me.

 

[AnnDriena_]

I don't approach and I personally think too many women are doing the approaching because it's making these men lazy as hell.

If a man wants something he'll come and get it. It'll mean more.

 

[Makenzie]

DH approached me.

I gave him my number - without him asking for it.

So, I guess a little bit of both. I've never made a habit of approaching a man - but I did work very hard to insure that I was approachable.

a) Not going out with more than 2-3 other women.
b) Smiling at almost everyone (ie, anyone who looks sane)
c) Making eye contact (added this to the smile, sometimes)
d) Kept an eye on my body language - no crossed arms, no hands on the hips, no stiffness - stayed very relaxed and comfortable in my body.
e) If I was nervous, I played with a piece of jewelry (twirling a ring is a good one!) or with my hair
f) Telepathy (hey, it worked, sometimes. I assume something in my smell or body language changed)

There are ways to approach a man without ever moving your feet.

Some very good tips. I cross my arms when nervous. I know subconsciously I am stopping people from approaching me, but I'm having a hard time breaking this habit. Maybe I'll try twirling my ring. Small and discreet.

 

[JustKiya]

Some very good tips. I cross my arms when nervous. I know subconsciously I am stopping people from approaching me, but I'm having a hard time breaking this habit. Maybe I'll try twirling my ring. Small and discreet.

Or, cross them BEHIND your body, esp. if you are standing. Tends to poke the boobs out a bit, too.

 

[Ramya]

I do not approach men.

 

[Duchesse]

Most definitely traditional...though I need to work on being more approachable.

Because I can't see myself ever walking over to a man and introducing myself, I need to learn how to make friendly eye contact and perfect an inviting smile...rather than my normal ice grill.

 

[topsyturvy86]

Nope, don't approach men. " He who finds a wife has found a good thing ... " I believe women should be found hence approached. I believe women should be approacheable and men should do the approaching.