I understand OP your issues with tangling. Right now, I am on an unintended relaxer stretch (while I consider transitioning).
The tangles really have me wanting to give up and get a relaxer. If I was to bc, I am not ready now. I would need to have more new growth length to feel comfortable bc'ing.
Back to the tangles. I have tried everything. Washing in braided sections, hot oil treatments. I tried the Aussie Moist that I hear so many raving about. THat was a fail. I get better results from Suave's coconut conditioner. I also comb my hair prior to shampooing.
I am going to try and explain my tangles. I use a shower comb with leave in conditioner. I recently started mixing my Chi Silk Infusion w/ my leave in's.
Basically I am able to detangle with the shower comb (with much effort). But, it is the tangles between the strands, that kind of resembles a spider web? Does that make sense? The only way to get at those tangles is with a fine tooth comb. But, as soon as I get through a section and go onto another section it is tangled again. And, that is with me either twisting/clipping off the sections as I proceed.
I only have this issue when it is time for a relaxer. I am going on six months right now. I recall someone explaining it that the new growth is causing the relaxed hair to coil back up in tangles.