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[Kamilah]

I really wanted to thank all of you for participating on this forum, it has been a source of strength for me during one of the hardest times of my life. I don't think we realize, when replying to a post, how we may be speaking the words that another woman may desperately need to hear.

I am still shattered over the breakup of my engagement, and for the most part my family does not understand and are uninterested in discussing it. I have found the outlet that I need here. It keeps me strong these days, although the bouts of crying and deep sadness have returned.

So many of these threads speak directly to my heart. I am a believing woman but I am finding it hard even to earnestly turn to God with more than questions and pleas for that which he has removed from my path. It is especially hard given that I try my absolute best to walk the walk and still I struggle with the one thing I want most in this world.

Please continue to post and stay positive on here. The good you are putting into the world surely does not go unnoticed.

 

[hopeful]

I really wanted to thank all of you for participating on this forum, it has been a source of strength for me during one of the hardest times of my life. I don't think we realize, when replying to a post, how we may be speaking the words that another woman may desperately need to hear.

I am still shattered over the breakup of my engagement, and for the most part my family does not understand and are uninterested in discussing it. I have found the outlet that I need here. It keeps me strong these days, although the bouts of crying and deep sadness have returned.

So many of these threads speak directly to my heart. I am a believing woman but I am finding it hard even to earnestly turn to God with more than questions and pleas for that which he has removed from my path. It is especially hard given that I try my absolute best to walk the walk and still I struggle with the one thing I want most in this world.

Please continue to post and stay positive on here. The good you are putting into the world surely does not go unnoticed.

I am so sorry that your heart is still so heavy and that the bouts of crying have returned. And I really wish you could talk to family and friends about the break-up--I don't understand why they wouldn't want to discuss it with you, but what can you do? We all do love you and care about you and want you to be happy. If you start to sink into depression please seek a professional counselor or a minister to talk things through. In the meantime really baby yourself. Maybe by spring your joy will return, I sure hope so. Hang in there baby girl.

 

[SimpleBrooklyn]

Thank you for the kind words. I hope all works out with you. I know these things take time, so if you feel you need to cry, cry. Cleanse your body of those feelings, its natural. You are strong and will continue to be.

 

[MzLady78]

Aww, what a nice post!

I agree, the ladies on here are wonderful and help me in ways that I'm sure sure they're not even aware of.

I can tell you're a very strong young lady and you'll be just fine! Take all the time you need to heal and know that you can always come here for support.

(((HUGS)))

 

[Kamilah]

Thank you ladies! I don't know if I'm going crazy or what, but shortly after I wrote that post I really started to feel better. I'm going to start a thread on what I did to get over it, but basically I have been keeping a blog to journal my feelings during this time and I decided that I didn't want to feel this way forever. I tried to "fast-forward" myself to write the final entry about it all. I wrote about being grateful for the memories, romance, good times, and personal growth that he brought me as well as how I have so much going for myself that just as I was concerned about not finding another him, that he should be concerned about not finding another me. I didn't write it in a belittling way but in earnest. I wrote about...well I think I'll just copy the post into my new thread. I also spoke to my sister about the details of what happened for the first time.

Anyway, the reinforcement that you ladies provide on this board is so powerful and empowering. I was raised traditionally Southern, so The Rules are almost second nature for me and I have always had a strong sense of self and self-esteem and STILL I have found myself asking crazy questions, feeling devalued, and blowing this mans worth out of proportion relative to my own. Reading your stories (even really old ones I had to dig up) has strengthened me each day to get through this process.

I don't know if the breakthrough I had yesterday will be a lasting one, and I don't know what my future holds but I know that today it feels good to have control over my feelings, to have this relationship in a proper context, and to not feel like a crazy person wasting my life away. For the first time in two weeks I am awake before noon, and I am going to make today a productive one.

Thanks so much ladies. You really mean so much to me and I hope to be able to positively impact a life as much as you all have.

Peace!

 

[SEMO]

Glad you're getting through okay. I remember you posting about your engagement.

 

[MizAvalon]

I'm very sorry to hear about your engagement.

I agree wholeheartedly about the responses that people post here. Even if something that you post isn't acknowledged in any way, you have no idea who is reading and what they may have gained from it. If I feel like I have something to offer, I try to put it out there in the hopes that it might help someone. You just never know who is reading or what they may be going through.

 

[Kamilah]

update....

so i relapsed pretty badly last night. i give up. i can't handle this alone. i didn't sleep at all last night, going over imaginary conversations in my mind. i'm going to a therapist because i can't take it anymore.

 

[Highly Favored8]

((((((HUGS)))))))

You are going to make it and you are so in my prayers! Please stay encouraged. There is light at the end of the Tunnel =)