A house divided

[syze6]

My gf has been trying to get her husband to go to church with her. She gets up and get the children ready and ask if he's going. Each time he doesn't bother to go. The last time he was in church was February 04. He was going through a crisis on his job with layoffs. Thanks to God's mercy he was able to keep his job. It seems since then he has truly forgotten about church.

He hangs out and will be at a party in a heartbeat. He also drinks to get drunk. When she ask him about church, he starts challenging why she goes and how people are decieved blah blah blah. Now he became a member of the same church during his crisis days. My gf thinks he's just ashamed to go back because he stopped going for no apparent reason.

Anyway, she gets up yesterday to get ready for church, he gets up and she assumes he finally is going. While in the shower he tells her to go ahead. He doesn't show up and she doesn't here from him for the entire day. When he finally returns, he has a bulletin from another church he attended that day. My friend is really hurt over this and wonders if she should even bother with this union. We all know a house divided can't stand.

He goes back and forth between the Quran and the bible.He's always questionng the whole christian lie or biblical life. He uses the hypocritical church people card frequently. He is the same guy who drinks, parties, and will spend money on pornography. It seems as though he went out of his way to divide himself from the family. I think he would rather go somewhere else, then to show his face in the church he abandoned.

I need some words of encouragement for my friend.

 

[luvalva30]

I feel like I am also living in a house divided. I kinda have the reverse situation happening. I started going to my then boyfriend now husband's church while we were dating. I knew I didn't really like going to the church then but kept going just to make myself more appealing to him. Mind you, this is a church that doesn't believe in pants, jewelry, makeup and even no oral sex! I assimilated because I was/still am so in love with my husband of 8 years. This man is sweet, simply gorgeous and intelligent. I haven't seen or met anyone that could even tough him. Well 2 kids and 8 years of marriage later, I'm fed up with the church and he is just as dedicated as ever. I make up every excuse in the world not to go. I don't want to go anymore honestly. It's nothing against God, I am just as committed to serving God as ever, but we are really at odds over this.

 

[phynestone]

I feel like I am also living in a house divided. I kinda have the reverse situation happening. I started going to my then boyfriend now husband's church while we were dating. I knew I didn't really like going to the church then but kept going just to make myself more appealing to him. Mind you, this is a church that doesn't believe in pants, jewelry, makeup and even no oral sex! I assimilated because I was/still am so in love with my husband of 8 years. This man is sweet, simply gorgeous and intelligent. I haven't seen or met anyone that could even tough him. Well 2 kids and 8 years of marriage later, I'm fed up with the church and he is just as dedicated as ever. I make up every excuse in the world not to go. I don't want to go anymore honestly. It's nothing against God, I am just as committed to serving God as ever, but we are really at odds over this. Other than a slight addiction to pornography, I live a morally sound life. I would appreciate some feedback also. I'm 32 years old and want some resolution to this.

I've heard of churches that don't believe in women wearing pants, makeup or jewelry, but I've never heard of the oral sex part. Who are they to dictate what can go on in the marriage bed? Do they have scriptures that point out such things? I know somewhere in the Bible it says something to effect of women not adorning ourselves with braids and jewelry, but I think the message Christ is trying to get out with that is not be concerned with outward adornment and concentrate on our inner self.

 

[redeemed516]

I think your friend should stay in prayer for her husband. I know that things can get really tough but she only has to do one thing and that is PRAY. In her praying she is showing that she is trusting and waiting on God. The effectual, fervernt prayer of the righteous availeth much. Just encourage her to keep praying and keep praying and keep praying. God will lead him (her husband) to make the decision whether or not he will choose Christ or the world.

 

[redeemed516]

I feel like I am also living in a house divided. I kinda have the reverse situation happening. I started going to my then boyfriend now husband's church while we were dating. I knew I didn't really like going to the church then but kept going just to make myself more appealing to him. Mind you, this is a church that doesn't believe in pants, jewelry, makeup and even no oral sex! I assimilated because I was/still am so in love with my husband of 8 years. This man is sweet, simply gorgeous and intelligent. I haven't seen or met anyone that could even tough him. Well 2 kids and 8 years of marriage later, I'm fed up with the church and he is just as dedicated as ever. I make up every excuse in the world not to go. I don't want to go anymore honestly. It's nothing against God, I am just as committed to serving God as ever, but we are really at odds over this. Other than a slight addiction to pornography, I live a morally sound life. I would appreciate some feedback also. I'm 32 years old and want some resolution to this.

I may sound a little repetative but PRAYER is my answer for everything. I believe in the power of prayer. In prayer you are seeking God. He will answer and tell you what to do. Keep praying and talking with your husband. Continue to let him know that you are not happy with the Church, but don't stop praying.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

I agree with redeemed...prayer changes SO many things. Whatever happens no one should be trying to change anyone else. Let God do any changing that needs to be done. So often, we believe we have the answers and know how a situation "should" be when we can't see the forest for the trees.
Take it to God and leave it there. And above all else, remember that the only man you can change is the one wearing a diaper...

{DI}

 

[beverly]

Luv - You should honest with your husband, as I have learned its not what you say its how you say it. Because I am sure he can pick up on your avoidance, and it may manifest into something else down the line, in a form of resentment for you not going. I would start off by telling how much you do love the Lord, but the practices of the church do not make you feel comfortable, and would he be interested in venturing out and visiting new churches just to see what its like.

In the bible, oral sex is not something that is addresses as sinful, but sodomy is, which is beastality and anal sex.

And as far as the original question goes, from the situations that I have observed of people who do not have the same value system, (religious beliefs) its usually hard to overcome that, and has not worked out - unless they have a change in there mindset, and that is something that person has to come to own there own.

 

[fivefoursweetie]

In the bible, oral sex is not something that is addresses as sinful, but sodomy is, which is beastality and anal sex.

I didn't know that anal sex was a sin (not that I participate in it). Do you have a scripture?
Thanks

 

[Leigh]

I've heard of churches that don't believe in women wearing pants, makeup or jewelry, but I've never heard of the oral sex part. Who are they to dictate what can go on in the marriage bed? Do they have scriptures that point out such things? I know somewhere in the Bible it says something to effect of women not adorning ourselves with braids and jewelry, but I think the message Christ is trying to get out with that is not be concerned with outward adornment and concentrate on our inner self.

Everything in the marriage bed is supposed to be undefiled. I should go get the scripture.

 

[Leigh]

I think your friend should stay in prayer for her husband. I know that things can get really tough but she only has to do one thing and that is PRAY. In her praying she is showing that she is trusting and waiting on God. The effectual, fervernt prayer of the righteous availeth much. Just encourage her to keep praying and keep praying and keep praying. God will lead him (her husband) to make the decision whether or not he will choose Christ or the world.

Excellent advice.

 

[Leigh]

Luv - You should honest with your husband, as I have learned its not what you say its how you say it. Because I am sure he can pick up on your avoidance, and it may manifest into something else down the line, in a form of resentment for you not going. I would start off by telling how much you do love the Lord, but the practices of the church do not make you feel comfortable, and would he be interested in venturing out and visiting new churches just to see what its like.

In the bible, oral sex is not something that is addresses as sinful, but sodomy is, which is beastality and anal sex.

And as far as the original question goes, from the situations that I have observed of people who do not have the same value system, (religious beliefs) its usually hard to overcome that, and has not worked out - unless they have a change in there mindset, and that is something that person has to come to own there own.

I didn't know that. I thought sodomy was oral sex with the same sex. Sodom was infamous for homosexuality. Remember the men of the town wanted to get at the angels.

 

[shalom]

The men wanted to get at the (male) angel's butt (sodomy), oral has to do with the mouth.

 

[firecracker]

I think your friend should stay in prayer for her husband. I know that things can get really tough but she only has to do one thing and that is PRAY. In her praying she is showing that she is trusting and waiting on God. The effectual, fervernt prayer of the righteous availeth much. Just encourage her to keep praying and keep praying and keep praying. God will lead him (her husband) to make the decision whether or not he will choose Christ or the world.

ITA. You will be in my prayers.