85% natural,100% fed up!

DDTexlaxed

DDTexlaxed

TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
I hope u guys can help me with this post. I have 85% natural hair and 15% relaxed. The front part is all curly, but the relaxed hair looks horrible! It's the back of my head and the left side with the majority of relaxed hair. I don't know how to style it any other way, but the gel and scrunch. The front looks great, but the relaxed parts make me wanna :barf: / :cry: My hair looks great wet, but when it dries, I look like crap.I saw some pics of me and I can't believe how bad i looked...hairwise. I'm at my wits end. I have considered light texturizing, but I want to abstain from chemicals for a while. My curls are cute, but they are soo tight, I don't know how to bring the look out without it turning wild. If there are some sistas out there who can make sense of what I'm saying, please help me with some tips. I never remembered my hair being curly at all when I was younger. My hair curls when wet and dries frizzy. I wanted to try to save my little bit of length, but I will prob. have to b/c again. I'm trying hard to stay natural for at least 6 months. I need all the encouragement and tips I can get! :ohwell:
 
Do I have to use heat with the shingling technique? I've been heat free since 1/5/05. Any other way to do this style?
 
They reccomend for maximum length to stretch the sections witha dryer but you could use a diffuser=less heat or skip that part but you will still have some shrinkge.
 
When you start feeling like you are at your wits end, it's usually time to just chop and deal with your natural hair. I planned a 2 year transition but when I got so sick of it, I just bit the bullet and chopped. My hair wasn't as long as I had wanted it to be but wearing scarves or other accesories helped me deal with that. After I did it, I had the biggest sense of relief.

Other than BC'ing that have you tried braid/twist-outs? Or braids? With braids you don't have to think about it for a couple of months. It seems like this is stressing you out. with braids or kinky twists you could get some peace of mind.
 
Thanks for replying! My hair can't take brads of any kind right now. I will prob b/c because I am sick and tired of the two textures. I am not able to braid because lack of skills, but I am determined to learn once my hair gets longer. My curls are so tight, sort of like corkscrews. This is still very new to me because I've been relaxed for over 20 years. the urge to relax is still overwhleming at times, but I'm going to try to be relaxer free for six months. I can't stop playing with my curls.I'd be so happy if only I could enhance the curl def. more! :)
 
What is it that you want for yourself after the 6 months is up? I only ask because if your goal is to be natural, you should seriously consider just chopping it. I know it is hard to give up the length. Believe me, I know. But it will grow back. I was trying to transition for 18 months, but chopped at 14 months because I could see that I was about to cause damage to my hair. It was the best thing because most of my hair problems disappeared with the relaxed parts. But only you know what is right for you and what you are ready to do. If you are planning on relaxing or texturizing in the next few months, then you just need some way to get through until then. When I was transitioning, I mostly wore my hair up in a bun. I know that can be boring, but it got me through some rough times. I hope you find a solution, wish I could help more.
 
Cichelle said:
What is it that you want for yourself after the 6 months is up? I only ask because if your goal is to be natural, you should seriously consider just chopping it. I know it is hard to give up the length. Believe me, I know. But it will grow back. I was trying to transition for 18 months, but chopped at 14 months because I could see that I was about to cause damage to my hair. It was the best thing because most of my hair problems disappeared with the relaxed parts. But only you know what is right for you and what you are ready to do. If you are planning on relaxing or texturizing in the next few months, then you just need some way to get through until then. When I was transitioning, I mostly wore my hair up in a bun. I know that can be boring, but it got me through some rough times. I hope you find a solution, wish I could help more.
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Thanks Chichelle. My problem is that I have what I call relaxeritis. When I get discouraged with my hair,I go running back to a relaxer. I want to be natural for good, but i know i am not good with long term commitments w/ my hair. :( So I gave myself a six month goal period to start. If i can make it that long, I'll be able to extend my goal. My hair is too short for a bun, so I'm trying to wear it curly. The relaxed parts are ruining the look so it's gotta go!
 
I find that when I'm at the "fed up" point it's best to do nothing at all. I don't like making decisions about my hair when I'm emotional. I usually wind up regretting it. Nothing wrong with the B/C I'd just wait a week or 2 until the frustration passes, if that's what you want then chop away. In the meantime there are plenty of styles that can get you through this period and of course there is always the bun...
 
Natrlchallenge said:
Thanks for replying! My hair can't take brads of any kind right now. I will prob b/c because I am sick and tired of the two textures. I am not able to braid because lack of skills, but I am determined to learn once my hair gets longer. My curls are so tight, sort of like corkscrews. This is still very new to me because I've been relaxed for over 20 years. the urge to relax is still overwhleming at times, but I'm going to try to be relaxer free for six months. I can't stop playing with my curls.I'd be so happy if only I could enhance the curl def. more! :)
Click to expand...


please please please don't get caught up in curl addiction
curls come in all different shapes and sizes. tight, loose, wavy....i'm sure your hair is beautiful. i hope you can learn to love and accept it as is

i agree with the chop. it sounds like you are stressing too much over it. just cut and free yourself! :weird:

feel free to pm me if you ever need a few words of encouragement, ok? :kiss:
 
I agree.... it might be time to cut it... BUT... if you aren't ready to do it psychologically... you could try a wig/curly weave... get it cut into a new style... etc.
 
Natrlchallenge said:
My hair looks great wet, but when it dries, I look like crap.I saw some pics of me and I can't believe how bad i looked...hairwise. I'm at my wits end. I have considered light texturizing, but I want to abstain from chemicals for a while. My curls are cute, but they are soo tight, I don't know how to bring the look out without it turning wild.
Click to expand...

The chop alone is not the answer. Chopping your relaxed ends would be a 15-20% length decrease, max.

But you'll still need to get curls from corkscrews. It sounds like you prefer a curly, wet-looking style. If you don't find products that maintain your curls even after the hair dries, you'll probably revert back to chemicals whether you chop or not.

You should search the hair section for threads about curly wash-and-wear conditioners and leave-ins.
 
my hair started misbehaving like 3 weeks into transitioning and i chopped it. if you dont, the damage from the relaxed ends might affect your natural hair. you know when some splits travel down the hair shaft?? im not trying to be a devil's advocate here but yeah, its time to chop. Have you tried plopping? That brings out my curls
 
i think you should get yourself some cornrows and rock a sweetass wig for a little while....im not big on running to the scissors when youre all upset...dont want to do something you'll regret...
 
Shatani said:
i think you should get yourself some cornrows and rock a sweetass wig for a little while....im not big on running to the scissors when youre all upset...dont want to do something you'll regret...
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Hey Shatani, for some reason before I did the BC, I was actually crying the day before because I was so fed up with my hair. I hated how my relaxed hair was breaking off. I was fed up with all the hairstyles I tried... rollersets, cornrows, wigs, buns with phony ponies, etc. I felt overwhelmed and felt like I was wasting my time since my ultimate goal was to be natural. I started not to care about length anymore so I wacked it off. To me, doing the BC will more than likely be a relieving experience than a regretful one.:)
 
I do the shingling w/o heat. I apply the product and go through my hair with a denman brush or my shower comb. How it looks when its wet is how it looks when its dry. I ususally fluff it when its almost dry to give myself more volume. Try using qhemet products. I also sometimes use noodle head mixed with a lil curl activator. The noodle head by itself dries too hard for me. If your ends are straight tho, no matter what you do its not going to look as good. Experiment with different looks on your day off.

I agree with the twists or braids until you are ready to chop. I know its a big decision, but if your ultimate goal is to go natural, holding on to your relaxed ends is only going to make you keep waivering about your decision. Its also going to affect your confidence, as you have already stated your hair doesnt look good with the relaxed ends. Personally, I would chop, and then give myself another month or two to get used to my texture and styling options. You dont need to run back to a relaxer after your first natural styling disaster. Relaxed hair is what you are used to, but its not your only styling option, and there is a learning curve going from one texture to another. In the end, you can always relax again if it doesnt work out, but give it a chance to work out. Good luck, whatever you decide. :)
 
you can always do a twistout! Twist on semi dry or dry hair, w/ shea or a light gel, and when totally dry unravel! Twistouts always look so pretty anyway!
 
I was like this a month ago ... cut it girl!.. I trans ... for 11 months ... and got annoyed and cut it


I had more then enough natural hair ... and It looks so much better ...
 
You guys rock! I had been wrestling with this decision and now I've made it. I will be BCing this week-end. I am not going to suffer needless trauma for something I've been wanting to do. Braids or twists are out because my hair can't take extensions. I am eager to see what this curly, natural hair of mine will look like with no relaxed ends! :lol: Once I'm fully natural, I can try to learn how to take care of my hair and learning how to braid or twist my hair without extensions. I am determined to learn!
 
Natrlchallenge said:
You guys rock! I had been wrestling with this decision and now I've made it. I will be BCing this week-end. I am not going to suffer needless trauma for something I've been wanting to do. Braids or twists are out because my hair can't take extensions. I am eager to see what this curly, natural hair of mine will look like with no relaxed ends! :lol: Once I'm fully natural, I can try to learn how to take care of my hair and learning how to braid or twist my hair without extensions. I am determined to learn!
Click to expand...
wooohoo!!! cant wait to see pics! :yay::yay::yay::yay:
 
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