** 7 Years natural, ready to tex-lax but need help please! **

[CharUK]

Hi all, I don't want to go too much into detail, but I was hoping someone going or having been through similar could help? (I have pics attached to the thread which are quite large, so you can get a better idea as my sig pics are small)

I have been natural for 7 years (on the 5th January!) but I've had enough now and I would like to see how tex-laxing suits me.

Background:
I have very thick and coarse 4b hair, when I used to perm, I had to get the coarse perm kits and even then, my hair would sometimes revert, which meant my aunt would need to leave the perm on longer, and my scalp is extremely sensitive and used to burn (it's still sensitive now, and I wince even when having canerows installed)

I eventually stopped perming and moved onto relaxing and as I did not want to grow out the perm I had a relaxer put straight on top of my permed hair!!! (I know, I was young, forgive me!) naturally, after about a year my hair became thin and started breaking something awful. I then decided I'd had enough and began transitioning for about 6 months before doing the big chop as I couldn't deal with the two textures.

What I plan on doing:

I plan on using a regular relaxer and mix with conditioner or oil, as I feel using a mild or a texture softener would be a pointless exercise given my hair history, does anyone agree? I would then follow all the directions on the box and follow up with a deep conditioner. I also plan to oil my scalp a few days before and put vaseline on it on D.Day. As it'll be my initial time I would apply the relaxer to my entire head and what I'm aiming for is to 'touch up' my hair no more than 3 times a year. As I'm already natural I am aware of how to detangle and be gentle with this type of texture, but what I was wondering is will the line of demarcation be easier to manage this way, as oppose to when I was transitioning out of my relaxer? I aim to wear protective styles like wigs or braids when the going gets tough.

Reasons:
I've just had enough, the longer my hair gets the more unmanageable it becomes, I have 4 children and a job and I just cannot dedicate the time I would like to my hair, which leaves me frustrated and makes me want to hide behind fake hair. I currently only wear my natural hair for maybe 4 months out of the year, the rest of the time it's hidden.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom, or advice please? I'm very very nervous!!

Thanks in advance.

 

[havilland]

i would suggest the following:

1. do a patch test on your hair before you do the whole head. that way if the strength of the relaxer is not enough, you can adjust it before you do your whole head.

2. i would suggest using a mild relaxer for a short amount of time. Design Essentials has a low lye relaxer that is gentle. it is designed for ladies who want to texlax their hair. you have to order it online though. amazon usually has it or ebay.

3. i would not suggest mixing things into the relaxer just becuase that is not really a precise science and you really want variables you can control.....

4. under process your hair the first go round. you can always correct it later if you do not get the desired result.\

5. i texlaxed for years before i started transitioning and i feel the line of demarcation is WAY easier to deal with than it was when i was relaxed bone straight.

GOODLUCK!

 

[IMFOCSD]

Hi I don't really have any advice but I did want to say that your hair is so thick & I love the length! Hopefully someone with great advice will chime in

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch Q using LHCF

 

[coolsista-paris]

i dont have advice either but im thinking of mayve taxlaxing in years to come. As i have fine hair im still not sure of it being a good idea.

good luck though. Hope you find more answers

 

[CharUK]

Thanks guys!

havilland Thank you so much!! This is great advice and I especially like the bit about patch testing, I've never thought of that!

I will hunt for that relaxer on the next trip out, but I may have to order online and hope they ship to the UK.

Thank you so much for all your tips, they make a lot of sense!
x

 

[SimJam]

Gosh your hair is gorgeous

Sorry no advice lol

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

With all that hair I'd go to a professional to ensure even texture. Plus, the best relaxed heads I've seen usually use lye relaxers. Not the no-lye boxed relaxers. Beautiful hair btw!

 

[PureSilver]

Your hair is lush and beautiful. I'm glad you asked this question. I'm almost 3 years natural and have been on the fence about texlaxing since year 2, I too would appreciate the responses.

 

[blah54]

I wish i had you hair its gorgeous i feel you about being natural but having a relaxer is maintenance as well.. I say to keep trying to keep the natural styles and just wear protective styles until you have the time. There is pros and cons to everything so whatever you decide is up to you but couldn't you flat iron your hair instead like maybe at a salon or at home (there is videos on youtube) you would get the same results and would not have to make the permanent decison to relax. That is my two cents.

 

[southerncitygirl]

CharUK

i think havilland gave great advice. if you texlax it will still leave some of the texture creating a natural look plus you can flatiron with less work so it would be the best of both worlds. know that you would have to be diligent about maintaining mositure/ceramide/protein levels though.

 

[abioni]

Have you considered doing formaldehyde free Keratin treatment first to see if you like it? It can give a texlaxed look.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Gorgeous hair!! I can imagine with 4 kids and a job that you cannot spend hours per week on your hair though.

I am natural but lots of ladies use Linage Shea Butter relaxer with great results.
There is a long thread here: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=293109&highlight=linage+relaxer

 

[Nonie]

@CharUK, I don't have any words of advice as I know nothing about texlaxing. Just came in to pour a little liquor because as you know, you've been one of my idols from way back when. I also came to mourn a little. But I will be OK. I survived all my other idols leaving me and their hair looked awesome on the other side so I'll be OK.

* Drumbeats here for the ugly crying about to start*

 

[ChanelNo5]

Have you thought about using heat more often? Maybe even skipping flat ironing and doing the textured styles on blown out hair for a while.

 

[mrs.reese]

Ok. I just self texlaxed 2 days ago after being natural for 4 years. I also was just tired of my natural hair. I was too much to detangle after getting so long. I used ORS lye regular strength. I studied you tube videos and just went for it. It came out just how I wanted it. I say go for it. I relaxed my hair using half and half method. I suggest you do the same as you have a lot of hair. I only smoothed with my fingers. Do you have anyone that u trust that can help you with smoothing?

 

[DominicanBrazilian82]

Gorgeous hair!! I can imagine with 4 kids and a job that you cannot spend hours per week on your hair though.

I am natural but lots of ladies use Linage Shea Butter relaxer with great results.
There is a long thread here: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=293109&highlight=linage+relaxer

I texlax with their relaxer!!! Love love love this relaxer.

 

[CharUK]

Thanks all, I will take note of all the advice and links given!! I really appreciate it.

I don't tend to use heat on my hair unless I'm getting it braided, which is about twice a year and even then it's only very light blow drying, I've never flat ironed as I'm not a fan of straight hair, and I'm scared of the hair not reverting back due to damage! When I blow out, it tends to feel very brittle and dry. I've watched lots of videos and gone through lots of products in hopes of attaining a more positive outcome, but I haven't found it yet!!

My natural hair style of choice is two strand twists as it's the easiest, low maintenance style I can manage alone. When I blow dried and tried to do this style they just kept unravelling.

I was thinking my husband might be able to help me smooth, I usually rope him in to all sorts, unbraiding, removing previous weave! Not sure I could really trust a hair stylist, I'd have to do a lot of research and see some customers who they've worked with first.

Lots of info to take in and lots of think about. So far I haven't managed to locate that designer relaxer for the UK, but I have a sister in law in the states, so should be able to get hold of it that way for a patch test.

Thanks all!! I really love reading all the replies and taking in people opinions and advice.

Nonie I'm sorry!! LOL, you know when you've just had enough? That's me!!

 

[sweetgal]

Your hair is gorgeous - don't do it!!!
Just kidding, well kind of. It's your hair and you must do what makes you happy.

We are going to miss you! You are on of the 4b hair role models.

I unfortanetly have no advice regarding relaxing. I really never had nice relaxed hair, so you won't want to take my advise.erplexed

However, I'm sure many other relaxed ladies with healthy looking relaxed hair can assist you.

Keep us posted and best of luck!!

 

[KaramelDiva1978]

I too took the plunge to texlax after only 2 years of being natural and I do not regret my decision at all. My stylist uses the Design Essentials lye time release relaxer and it processes perfectly and leaves the right amount of texture. My stylist gently relaxes after I have based and coated my hair in vaseline and a bit of olive oil on the hair strands. It takes half the time if not less to moisturize, seal and even rollerset my hair.

Your hair is absolutely gorgeous, I would highly recommend a professional stylist for your first virgin relaxer. If you decide to do it, check out the great YouTube videos and practice, practice with lots of conditioner to keep your timing on point!

Wish you the best on your hair goals!