5 ESSENTIALS FOR A GOOD PARTNER

[kayte]

Asking folks what they are looking for in a longterm partner.
Everyone gives kinda the same list. They want someone:

sexy, smart, funny, charismatic, successful, rich


It’s okay to want these things -
but there are 5 essentials which must come first -- and if your partner doesn’t have these 5 essentials, then it doesn’t matter how sexy, smart, funny, charismatic, successful, rich he might be --
he will not make a good partner!

Prince Charming/Princess Charming Trait #1: Does he want to be in a committed relationship? (Basically, does he embrace character values that match with your values for a committed happily ever after future? Are there “value deal breakers” when it comes to marriage, monogamy,kids, religion, etc.)

Prince Charming/Princess Charming Trait #2: Does he value growing as a person? (Basically, does he embrace character values that show he has an open and growing soul—values self-responsibility and seeking insights?)

Prince Charming/Princess Charming Trait #3: Does he understand that a relationship serves 2 functions. It’s not solely a “den of pleasure”—it’s also a soul’s “laboratory for growth.” (Basically, does he embrace character values that show he absolutely wants a “relationship of shared virtue”?)

Prince Charming/Princess Charming Trait #4: Does he make you feel “safe” in the relationship to be your fullest potential? (Surprise: The top feeling a relationship should inspire is “safety.” Without safety, you will never arrive at feeling love—because you won’t allow yourself to be vulnerable enough for true intimacy. If your man embraces high-integrity character values, then you will trust him enough to reveal your truest self!)

Prince Charming/Princess Charming Trait #5: Is your SO happy? (Surprise: If you want to live happily ever after, your SO has to be happy! If he's unhappy all the time, he will view you through non-rosy, dark-lensed life glasses! You need to find a man who embraces character values that help him be emotionally stable, eventempered, addiction-free and full of high self-esteem.)


FROM THE BOOKPRINCE HARMING SYNDROME

 

[Bunny77]

Great list!

No. 1 was a given, but it took me awhile to learn the importance of 2-5.

No. 4 is the TRUTH. I posted about this in a different thread about a man who was asking for intimacy from me before making a commitment, and he said that I seemed to view intimacy as a reward. I said no, the most important part of intimacy to me was SECURITY, and all he was seeking was pleasure without offering SECURITY. Safety = security... so yes, I love No. 4 in general (not just in the realm of intimacy).

No. 5 is also for real. I once dated a man who treated me well initially, but he was always brooding, moody and just, unhappy. He was always talking about how he was working to be happy, but it just seemed like he found reasons to be "oppressed" and tormented by life. Well, eventually, he determined that I too was a source of oppression and torment and it wasn't long before his general poor demeanor became a weapon against me.

It was another lesson learned. You need to have someone with a positive and joyous outlook on life, because that will spread to your relationship as well.

 

[rabs77]

I totally agree with this list!

 

[YankeeCandle]

Thank you for posting this. Did you write this? It's great!

ETA: never mind, I see it's from a book. Still great, though!

 

[Glib Gurl]

Thanks for posting

 

[Irresistible]

Great post

Helped me to understand why I am feeling so strongly about this man and new relationship

so far all those are in tact ......thus far......big green light so far

 

[MoniintheMiddle]

This list seems so simple but it is really powerful!