bellachic
New Member
Hi ladies,
So where do I start. I'm a longtime lurker and have enjoyed being a member of this forum for many years. I've learned so much and was hoping you can help me on one minor issue.
I love my SO, but I am not attracted to him.
I know it sounds crazy and i can't really rationalize it. We are in a long distance relationship with plans for me to return to our hometown in a month. But this weekend, I did the unthinkable. I cheated on him with a friend. Up to this point, I hadn't been with anyone else for over six months, and this was because I didn't want to break the bond that I was developing my SO. But after a while, I started to become anxious and a bit impatient with waiting to be with himerplexed so I slept with my friend.
Looking back, whenever I was in the state where I felt I couldn't take it any longer and had to take care of business on my own, the person in my fantasy was not SO
I feel horrible about what I did this weekend but a big part of me does not want to let him go. He is the sweetest man I have ever met and thinks the world of me. He even wants to marry me one day. I feel the same way about him. He is my best friend and my confidant but sometimes I find it very very hard to be aroused with him or attracted to him.
Just to put it in a bit more perspective, SO is a bit shorter and larger than previous guys I have dated.
Please ladies..I could really use your advice. I've never been one to be fixated on looks so this is a very strange issue to deal with. should I tell him? Should I stay in the relationship? Is it possible to develop or become more attracted to someone over time or if it isn't lust at first sight, its time to move on?
I don't want to let him go, but I think after this past weekend, I may have to face some facts I've been avoiding.
**Disclaimer--I really really do love this man and can see him being the father of my children in the future. Its just the baby making part that seems to not work out sometimes.**
So where do I start. I'm a longtime lurker and have enjoyed being a member of this forum for many years. I've learned so much and was hoping you can help me on one minor issue.
I love my SO, but I am not attracted to him.
I know it sounds crazy and i can't really rationalize it. We are in a long distance relationship with plans for me to return to our hometown in a month. But this weekend, I did the unthinkable. I cheated on him with a friend. Up to this point, I hadn't been with anyone else for over six months, and this was because I didn't want to break the bond that I was developing my SO. But after a while, I started to become anxious and a bit impatient with waiting to be with himerplexed so I slept with my friend.
Looking back, whenever I was in the state where I felt I couldn't take it any longer and had to take care of business on my own, the person in my fantasy was not SO
I feel horrible about what I did this weekend but a big part of me does not want to let him go. He is the sweetest man I have ever met and thinks the world of me. He even wants to marry me one day. I feel the same way about him. He is my best friend and my confidant but sometimes I find it very very hard to be aroused with him or attracted to him.
Just to put it in a bit more perspective, SO is a bit shorter and larger than previous guys I have dated.
Please ladies..I could really use your advice. I've never been one to be fixated on looks so this is a very strange issue to deal with. should I tell him? Should I stay in the relationship? Is it possible to develop or become more attracted to someone over time or if it isn't lust at first sight, its time to move on?
I don't want to let him go, but I think after this past weekend, I may have to face some facts I've been avoiding.
**Disclaimer--I really really do love this man and can see him being the father of my children in the future. Its just the baby making part that seems to not work out sometimes.**