I'm going to have to cosign on the Qhemet. I used it for the 1st time yesterday & I'm 6 months post. Not only did it detangle well but my hair airdried feeling like silk so it's also a wonderful leave-in. Also, a little goes a long way.
Oops, I was going to mention GVP Detangler but I see it didn't work out so well for OP.
Besides that one, KBB Hair Milk, Knot Today, and Shescentit Coco Creme have all been fantastic detanglers. I tried a sample of the Qhemet Detangling Ghee and, while it smells really good and has a slippery texture, it made my hair too greasy.