12 years of holy matrimony 02/24/2008

Finesse · Feb 24, 2008

I am happy, but a small voice inside me is saying something is missing. Is because I am turning 40? I love my husband. But sometimes I long for the single life..am I wrong?

harrison · Feb 24, 2008

Is it that you want to get out of the routine of things... or is there other things around you that you are looking to change up also?

I ask because sometimes I feel like the monotony of things causes me to reflect on my single days with my girls having fun. But now fun has to be penciled in somewhere and often times get erased. :yawn:

I love my family.. don't want them to go anywhere.... but I just wish that our schedule allowed for dh and I to do the fun things we used to.

FlowerHair · Feb 24, 2008

Congratulations on being married for 12 years!

What is it that you want to do as a single person that you feel you cannot do now? I've been single (not married) all my life. I have had relationships though, but isn't it wonderful to be married? :grin:

You're scaring me now lol

Lindy · Feb 24, 2008

Honey, If you have a good man and have a (basically) happy marriage, be THANKFUL... you do NOT want to be single and out in the dating scene at age 40... TRUST ME on that... :look:

The grass always looks greener on the other side.

I do understand where you're coming from though... I've been married & divorced, so I've had it both ways. Try to do some things to shake up your routine; every marriage has its ups and downs; you just have to weather the storms. :yep:

Think back on when you first met and how you felt about your hubby in the beginning; that always helps to rekindle the spark and put things into the proper perspective.

Also, go out with your friends (married and single) and talk to them about how you're feeling. It helps to speak with women who are going through the same issues you are, and it will also help to hear from the other side. I'm willing to bet that being single again will not seem quite so appealing.

erplexed

poetist · Feb 24, 2008

Lindy said:
Honey, If you have a good man and have a (basically) happy marriage, be THANKFUL... you do NOT want to be single and out in the dating scene at age 40... TRUST ME on that... The grass always looks greener on the other side.

I do understand where you're coming from though... I've been married & divorced, so I've had it both ways. Try to do some things to shake up your routine; every marriage has its ups and downs; you just have to weather the storms. Think back on when you first met and how you felt about your hubby in the beginning; that always helps to rekindle the spark and put things into the proper perspective.

Also, go out with your friends (married and single) and talk to them about how you're feeling. It helps to speak with women who are going through the same issues you are, and it will also help to hear from the other side. I'm willing to bet that being single again will not seem quite so appealing. erplexed

Congrats on 12 years...thats no small feat. ITA with what Lindy said.
I think its normal for you to feel how you're feeling. You and DH need to just switch it up a tad. Maybe make a weekly date night. Not sure if you have kids or not, but if they're not old enough to stay at home alone, maybe ask a relatvie to watch them for you while you and hubby see a movie, go to a jazz lounge, have dinner, etc. If money or time is tight, you can stay home and have a candle light dinner or play dominoes or monopoly or scattegories or something fun.

Honey · Feb 24, 2008

First of all, congrats on being married for 12 years - it definitely takes work to maintain a marriage. It sounds like you are happy and in love with your husband, you just need a little more variety. Do you and your dh go out on dates? Do you have any hobbies that you do alone? Maybe you can find ways the things that you enjoy into your everyday life.

~Honey

kokodiva524 · Feb 24, 2008

Finesse said:
I am happy, but a small voice inside me is saying something is missing. Is because I am turning 40? I love my husband. But sometimes I long for the single life..am I wrong?

Gurl, I know what you mean. April will be 14 years for me and I'll be 38 this year. I too love my husband and children. But some days I wish I could run away from home. :yep:

I don't want to be single again I just want some time that is my own. In addition to my family, I work full-time and it seems that every minute of my day is accounted for. I would love to have a weekend to myself to read or window shop or be a couch potato. :lachen:

I would also love to have some time alone with my husband to do the things we use to enjoy. But in the mist (sp) of all of this I realize that these years will pass quickly and I treasure each moment.

When things get really bad, I secretly take the day off and do something just for me. This gives me the energy to go back to my real life. I also turn my DH OUT every so often so that he remembers that I am still THAT GIRL..... In tern, he does something nice for me. So, although it doesn't happen often, I know that the love is there and stronger than it was 14 years ago. We've been through alot and we have grown closer with each challenge.

So, to you my sister I say be encouraged. Stay strong and keep the love alive.

Also: TURN HIS *** OUT! :naughtycouch: