Naturals: Embrace the Taco Meat? Or Get a Lining?

[LynnieB]

OP, I didn't think you were trying to offend anyone. I just don't like the term.

I can understand however that it's not always meant to be offensive. I use the word nappy to describe my hair and I know a lot of people have a problem with that word. So I can see both sides.

I cringed. If OP calls her nape *those words*(because it's 4a/b) than what in the world would ladies whose heads are all of 4a or 4b and choose to wear their hair in a tight shrunken fro feel after reading that erplexed?

Yikes.

It's no different than a relaxed head who finds the term "creamy crack head" to be offensive.

Imagine for a moment if the OP read

Relaxed ladies: Embrace your addicted, creamy crack headed selves? Or shave it off and go natural?

Oh dear gawd this thread would blow up and go to DEFCON 1 with nuclear fallout imminent.

Nothing but love for you gals though.

 

[msMicaela]

Taco meat? Yeah okay.... girl got issues............

The phrase taco meat was not meant to be negative. I personally wouldnt use the term but Its just how she feels her hair looks.

Why make it a PC term when it doesnt have to be. We only promote negativity around our hair when we do that.

 

[yamilee21]

I simply don't understand why people feel the need to use such terms as taco meat, buckshot etc. to describe type 4 hair, it's simply not necessary at all and it certainly offends a lot of people!

wow... You guys make the hair game necessarily hard, especially for the 4b girls. You can even see from this thread that ladies with 3-something hair get the "you're nape is cute" comments while the 4-somethings have vampire taco meat that needs to be altered in some way. *whatever* ...

Just for the record, lots of people with "3-something" hair also have those tiny hair balls at the nape.

Most of my family has a prominent letter M at the back of the neck. Mine no longer extends as far down my neck as it used to, not sure why, but it is still noticeable. I used to cut it down very close, with scissors, but at some point I stopped paying attention.

 

[AfroKink]

It isn't the title that is offensive or I wouldn't have come in. (Actually thought it was a jab at the ladies on the board who do believe coily nape hair and 4b hair in general is taco meat. What happened to that Jay-z thread?)

I don't believe the OP was trying to offend anyone. It's not even a discussion of the terms used that I'm interested.

Why do I, a woman with 4b hair, need to constantly change something about my head top? The more I frequent this board the more I realize that people are fighting hard to not have the hair that I have.

Here is my vampire taco meat deluxe:

lys

 

[SelahOco]

I cringed. If OP calls her nape *those words*(because it's 4a/b) than what in the world would ladies whose heads are all of 4a or 4b and choose to wear their hair in a tight shrunken fro feel after reading that erplexed?

Yikes.

It's no different than a relaxed head who finds the term "creamy crack head" to be offensive.

Imagine for a moment if the OP read

Relaxed ladies: Embrace your addicted, creamy crack headed selves? Or shave it off and go natural?

Oh dear gawd this thread would blow up and go to DEFCON 1 with nuclear fallout imminent.

Nothing but love for you gals though.

I didn't know people took offense to creamy crack. I thought that was a light hearted joke too.

The phrase taco meat was not meant to be negative. I personally wouldnt use the term but Its just how she feels her hair looks.

Why make it a PC term when it doesnt have to be. We only promote negativity around our hair when we do that.

Really, it's not that deep to me. I associate the term Taco Meat with a joke. Men have short little curly hairs on their chest, and it looks like taco meat to the comedian. He says it, people crack up. It's a running joke.

I mean, for me there's no negative history.

I've never had white or mixed kids chasing me down the street with taco shells trying to rip the naps out of my neck.

Buckshots, peppercorns, kitchen, lovely coils of love....I mean, I don't know what to call it anymore.

When people say, "my eyebrows look a mess, I need to get them arched" there's no offense in that. It's just a matter of grooming.

I mean, I don't mind calling my nape "poofy clouds of keratin delight," if that will keep people from feeling a way about it.

 

[mscocoface]

I am accepting it ALL and keepnig it real. Whatever God gave me I am dealing with, even if I disagree.

Like Sampson, no scisscors or clippers are going near this head unless I am dusting.

 

[SelahOco]

It isn't the title that is offensive or I wouldn't have come in. (Actually thought it was a jab at the ladies on the board who do believe coily nape hair and 4b hair in general is taco meat. What happened to that Jay-z thread?)

I don't believe the OP was trying to offend anyone. It's not even a discussion of the terms used that I'm interested.

Why do I, a woman with 4b hair, need to constantly change something about my head top? The more I frequent this board the more I realize that people are fighting hard to not have the hair that I have.

Here is my vampire taco meat deluxe:

lys

I love your post! You make a valid point.

Now, for me the only difference between the back of your neck and some of the other 4 type women who posted is how far down your hair grows. everything else looks the same.

So, since we look at the front of our hair everyday, people use gel or scarves or otherwise groom the hair in the front just to make it neat. It's like no big deal to most people...just brush it down.

But when people look at their hair in the back, it's usually not as neat because you can't see it. Do you grab the mirror and fix, fix fix until it's as cute as the front. But if you wear an updo, and your hair grows more freely down your neck - it seems natural to want to groom it IF that's your tendency.

Like leg hair, lip hair, chin whiskers, Ashanti's side burns, eyebrow hair, etc. Maybe it is an issue of not accepting the hair type, but maybe it's just about grooming.

 

[vkb247]

I have always heard the term when people were refering to extremely nappy pubic hair so I have always thought of it in reference to something unsightly/unattractive/that no one wants.

 

[RubyWoo]

I love your post! You make a valid point.

Now, for me the only difference between the back of your neck and some of the other 4 type women who posted is how far down your hair grows. everything else looks the same.

So, since we look at the front of our hair everyday, people use gel or scarves or otherwise groom the hair in the front just to make it neat. It's like no big deal to most people...just brush it down.

But when people look at their hair in the back, it's usually not as neat because you can't see it. Do you grab the mirror and fix, fix fix until it's as cute as the front. But if you wear an updo, and your hair grows more freely down your neck - it seems natural to want to groom it IF that's your tendency.

Like leg hair, lip hair, chin whiskers, Ashanti's side burns, eyebrow hair, etc. Maybe it is an issue of not accepting the hair type, but maybe it's just about grooming.

Great post and I agree! I honestly see taking care of the nape/kitchen as a matter of grooming. It really is no different than styling the rest of the hair on your head IMO. It's like saying twisting, curling or combing your hair means you don't embrace your natural hair which is so far from the truth IMO.

 

[SelahOco]

I have always heard the term when people were refering to extremely nappy pubic hair so I have always thought of it in reference to something unsightly/unattractive/that no one wants.

Oh my! I've never heard that one...but now that I think about it.:scratchch

 

[ceebee3]

I totally agree, but on this board, only the relaxed heads seem to be the only ones who can express their anger when someone posts something that is "offensive".

I don't subscribe to that mess.

I cringed. If OP calls her nape *those words*(because it's 4a/b) than what in the world would ladies whose heads are all of 4a or 4b and choose to wear their hair in a tight shrunken fro feel after reading that erplexed?

Yikes.

It's no different than a relaxed head who finds the term "creamy crack head" to be offensive.

Imagine for a moment if the OP read

Relaxed ladies: Embrace your addicted, creamy crack headed selves? Or shave it off and go natural?

Oh dear gawd this thread would blow up and go to DEFCON 1 with nuclear fallout imminent.

Nothing but love for you gals though.

 

[AfroKink]

I love your post! You make a valid point.

Now, for me the only difference between the back of your neck and some of the other 4 type women who posted is how far down your hair grows. everything else looks the same.

So, since we look at the front of our hair everyday, people use gel or scarves or otherwise groom the hair in the front just to make it neat. It's like no big deal to most people...just brush it down.

But when people look at their hair in the back, it's usually not as neat because you can't see it. Do you grab the mirror and fix, fix fix until it's as cute as the front. But if you wear an updo, and your hair grows more freely down your neck - it seems natural to want to groom it IF that's your tendency.

Like leg hair, lip hair, chin whiskers, Ashanti's side burns, eyebrow hair, etc. Maybe it is an issue of not accepting the hair type, but maybe it's just about grooming.

You make valid points too. I don't get down with gelling or scarfing my edges either. And I have a widows peak, mini side burns that you can see peaking below my glasses and a peak of hair on each of my temples. I leave it all alone. As you can see here:

hmmm... never noticed how hairy I am

 

[Jazala]

wow... You guys make the hair game necessarily hard, especially for the 4b girls. You can even see from this thread that ladies with 3-something hair get the "you're nape is cute" comments while the 4-somethings have vampire taco meat that needs to be altered in some way. *whatever*

Regarding the bolded, I had to go back and double check because I recall mostly 4's getting complimented in this thread on their napes and only ONE that seems to have a looser texture. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think Mwedzi, Nonie and BlackMasterPiece are all type 4's yes???

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I don't see anything wrong with getting it lined up. I choose not to.

As for the term "taco meat", I've never heard it when referring to hair on someone's head. My friend always uses that term to talk about chest hair. I suppose I never thought about how it would be offensive.

 

[AfroKink]

Regarding the bolded, I had to go back and double check because I recall mostly 4's getting complimented in this thread on their napes and only ONE that seems to have a looser texture. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think Mwedzi, Nonie and BlackMasterPiece are all type 4's yes???

Mwedzi's nape looks looser than the rest of her 4b hair and she was complimented for that (it looking soft like baby hair, not it looking like dry buckshots)

Nonie was complimented for her ability to hide her texture by brushing it up to blend with the rest of her hair.

I didn't look back for BlackMasterPeice's

No one said mine was cute (don't worry, not fishing) lol.

It's the same thing that normally goes on with compliments on this board. A 3-something will get complimented on the cuteness of her hair texture or curl pattern, while a 4-something will get complimented on length and style....

 

[Fhrizzball]

Won't shaving them make it grow back thicker too? My mum gets her lined up every so often but it's a process you can't let up on. I suppose you can do that and when your hair is long enough to cover your nape then let it grow out.

I have beady beads and they constantly knot up and tangle but I let them be for the most part. Do what you think is best just try to explore other options before committing to it. I don't know the exact state of mine but if people aren't making side eye remarks about them then they're okay just the way it is.

I don't really notice kitchen's to begin with unless they're really baldy looking. If only mine grew as long as Nonie's though...

 

[SelahOco]

Regarding the bolded, I had to go back and double check because I recall mostly 4's getting complimented in this thread on their napes and only ONE that seems to have a looser texture. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think Mwedzi, Nonie and BlackMasterPiece are all type 4's yes???

Thanks was not enough.

This was not about texture, IMO. It was about the pattern and ability to make the nape blend into the rest of the hair.

 

[melodies815]

OT: Ocolove...you are trying so hard to be understood well. I admire that when the board can change into something negative sooo quickly and for NO REASON!

Back on topic: I have never taken a mirror to look at my nape area, but even if I had, I would only run a hand over the style and be good to go...

cj

 

[Hysi]

chile embrace the taco! you can probably make some curly-q's back there.

 

[Hysi]

o dear. didn't read the full thread, but started skimming through and saw the dramatics over the terms she used and i repeated it. didn't realize.... my apologies to anyone offended. but just for the record, she was referring to herself not anyone else. she is seeking advice for her and only her. jm2c.

 

[Irresistible]

too much hair type paranoia going around

 

[YankeeCandle]

I have not read the through the thread, but personally, I love the sight and feel of tiny little balls of coils/curls at the nape of the neck.

Since I was a kid, I called them "My embryonic curls" because they were like tinier versions of the rest of my curls. I like reaching back there every so often them and patting them; it's reassuring to feel them like a little springy carpet.

One time a blonde, European-ancestry girl sat behind me in high school history class. She had the coarse kind of kinky-straight blonde hair, so she knew a few things about variety of textures. Anyway, I felt a pulling on the back of my nape and I turned to see her tugging on my embryonics (LOL) and smiling. She said: "They're like tiny little perfect baby curls!"

I also like the sight of them on my SO's chest. It makes him seem friendlier to me somehow . And they're fun to play with.

So, my answer is: yes, if I were you, I would embrace the embryos.

 

[jwhitley6]

Okay...If I offend someone, whatever...but I hate my "taco meat". Yes, my nape looks just like taco meat. I inherited my dad's hairline and hair goes way down my neck. What I hate the most is that it's very dry, partially due to my fine strands rubbing my collar and climate. I have to use heavy duty conditioners and leave-ins on that part only to even attempt to blend the textures. Other than my nape, I LOVE my natural 4a/b hair. There have been times when I've relaxed the 1/2 inch-long, taco-meaty, coily-fuzz down my neck to keep it from knotting up and it actually seems to help it retain moisture too. I'm considering doing it again because I'm ripping out knotted nape hairs everyday and it frustrates me.

I came into this thread hoping to hear some alternatives, but folks got so caught up with the simple descriptor used.....anyway, I'd love to hear more about what others are doing with their "taco meat". If your nape does not look like taco meat then I'm not really interested in your response, but I'm sure there are plenty of women here who can relate and are not haters of their 4a/b hair. Please speak on it.

ETA: If this came out a little harsh, it's due to my PMS filter.

 

[Jazala]

Mwedzi's nape looks looser than the rest of her 4b hair and she was complimented for that (it looking soft like baby hair, not it looking like dry buckshots)

Nonie was complimented for her ability to hide her texture by brushing it up to blend with the rest of her hair.

I didn't look back for BlackMasterPeice's

No one said mine was cute (don't worry, not fishing) lol.

It's the same thing that normally goes on with compliments on this board. A 3-something will get complimented on the cuteness of her hair texture or curl pattern, while a 4-something will get complimented on length and style....

MissAlyssa, I respectfully disagree. They all were complimented because of "the ability to make the nape hair blend into the rest of th hair" as Oco pointed out above. I can really relate to how she feels about the nape issue because even when I'm freshly relaxed, my nape still looks a mess because it wont blend in and it grows way too far down my neck. I'm too embarassed to post a picture of it. I wear my hair down almost every day to hide it lol.

This is not about texture, seriously.

 

[ChristmasCarol]

I'm just happy to have hair on my edges. Until I stopped texlaxing earlier this year, I didn't really have ANY. I knew that was weird, but I just figured that was my pattern. Now I know that my edges were too fine to be able to withstand relaxers. Relaxer was like Nair/Neet to the outer edges of my hairline.

My edges will blend initially, but after a couple hours, the new hair gets all "jim crow" on the rest. It separates itself from the pack and starts to lay down and curl up. I call them my "KKKs" cuz they don't wanna hang out with the 4 hair. Hope I didn't offend anyone with that name, either.

So while I understand both sides of the description issue, I'm just thankful for the little bit of edge hair I have now.

ETA: Oh, and I am NOT TRIMMING it, I don't care if it looks messy or crazy.

 

[Carrie A]

Thanks was not enough.

This was not about texture, IMO. It was about the pattern and ability to make the nape blend into the rest of the hair.

Thing is that natural hair is kinky, coily, curly all over so the nape hair does blend with the rest. Now is you were going for a precision short cut like a twa Caesar or a bob with a tapered nape then you might get an edge up if you were so inclined. But for just regular braid, bun, twists or puffs to me its just the part of your hair that hangs a bit. It shouldn't be an "offense" to the eye or something that needs fixing IMO. I always thought of "kitchen woes" as the lament of folks wearing straight hair/ or relaxed hair who are worried about hairs that don't appear straight.

 

[Nonie]

Nonie was complimented for her ability to hide her texture by brushing it up to blend with the rest of her hair.

Really?

I haven't read the whole thread but I did read about my nape being cute and I thought the comment was about my beady beads hence my chuckle. No? I'ma hunt down the one with the compliment to find out, coz now y'all have me confused.

As far as my nape looking neater brushed, I have to agree that it most certainly does. But then again, I am from the camp that believes a combed-out afro looks nicer than a chunky one created by a braid-out or twist-out so that might explain why I preferred brushed out nape hair. I don't like the idea of gelling the hair down but I do like it to look "combed".

 

[BklynHeart]

I trim mine, I don't like the long "V" in the back like a vampire. Even when I was relaxed I would trim them off so it looks neater when I wear my hair up.

 

[SelahOco]

Really?

I haven't read the whole thread but I did read about my nape being cute and I thought the comment was about my beady beads hence my chuckle. No? I'ma hunt down the one with the compliment to find out, coz now y'all have me confused.

As far as my nape looking neater brushed, I have to agree that it most certainly does. But then again, I am from the camp that believes a combed-out afro looks nicer than a chunky one created by a braid-out or twist-out so that might explain why I preferred brushed out nape hair. I don't like the idea of gelling the hair down but I do like it to look "combed".

Personally, I was discussing the shape of your nape more than anything. Brushed up or not, it's cute b/c it doesn't grow down your back.

My hair grows down my back like those stars Rhianna has tatted across her neck.

The curls, naps, coils do not bother me. I specifically asked about a "lining" to make a neat LINE. I'm not talking about relaxing, perming, or coconut conditioning the curls.

I just don't want my style messed up.

Someone posted some pics and said "wow, I didn't know I was that hairy..." I mean, that's all I'm talking about. You don't know how MUCH hair is there until you look. Its not about it being nappy. It's about it not looking uniform with an updo.

ETA: I said Taco Meat b/c I'm silly. If you look at any of my posts you would know that. So, I don't take offense to the uproar - I just have a temper and I get angry when I feel like grown women are imposing their stuff on me as opposed to engaging me in discussion about it. I'm done defending myself about it, I just came in here because someone sent me a sweet IM and asked me to clarify a point.

Thanks for the discussion in general though. I learned more than I intended to, and now I can be more careful about the words I choose. Consideration trumps being silly anyday!!! (((HUGS)))

 

[1QTPie]

I leave my nape/kitchen alone. There will be no shaving. Sometimes i put a little gel and water back there to make them curlier because I hate when it looks dry and puffy.