I'm discouraged with my short hair: venting

[shunemite]

Today I'm discouraged. I'm not usually like this but for some reason today I don't like my hair. I have a neck length bob. I have 4b fine thin hair. The good news is that I have very healthy hair habits. I DC every week, I tie it up in a satin scarf every night, and in the morning I use satin rollers with my caruso to style it. My hair is pretty healthy. Right now it's just very hard to style it coz I'm 6 weeks post relaxer and I feel like maybe shorter hair shouldn't or can't be stretched. I did stretch it while wet and the roots lay flat but 4 days later they've already reverted. I guess I'm really writing to say that my struggle is not comparing myself to other people especially when out on the street. I'm so tempted to throw my hair up in braids or wear a wig, but that will be an emotional step back because my motive will be to hide my hair. I have given myself a good time line of one year to get to shoulder length, but I would love to enjoy my journey there. Tough day today.

 

[Chicoro]

Hang in there.

It's too easy for me to say to not be discouraged. That means absolutely nothing when you are not feeling your best about your hair. If it is any consolation to you, everyone has bad hair days. You are very cognizant, or aware of what is going on with you and your hair and that is more than 1/2 the battle. It sounds to me like you are focused, have a goal and know where you are going. Those are all so very important and are a journey in themselves to get to. You are already there with those things.
I think taking photos on days like these and looking at photos of your hair at the beginning of your journey can sometimes help. Keep going. We are here to listen and support you.

 

[Shoediva]

I know exactly how you feel. Im over 2 mos post relaxer and I'm currently trying to grow out a bob (chin lengh in the front and ear length in the back)...the hair closest to my nape was the shortest and all of that area is all natural NG no relaxed ends at all. Im not happy they way I can get the rest of my hair to lay down but that part in the back is not cute at all, well at least to me..lol

I usually get over my hair hateration once I wash, cond, etc. Hang in there!

 

[chelleypie810]

Today I'm discouraged. I'm not usually like this but for some reason today I don't like my hair. I have a neck length bob. I have 4b fine thin hair. The good news is that I have very healthy hair habits. I DC every week, I tie it up in a satin scarf every night, and in the morning I use satin rollers with my caruso to style it. My hair is pretty healthy. Right now it's just very hard to style it coz I'm 6 weeks post relaxer and I feel like maybe shorter hair shouldn't or can't be stretched. I did stretch it while wet and the roots lay flat but 4 days later they've already reverted. I guess I'm really writing to say that my struggle is not comparing myself to other people especially when out on the street. I'm so tempted to throw my hair up in braids or wear a wig, but that will be an emotional step back because my motive will be to hide my hair. I have given myself a good time line of one year to get to shoulder length, but I would love to enjoy my journey there. Tough day today.

Honey! i know what ur going thru. 2 years ago my hair was so cute and healthy but i know it will grow and in a short amount of time because ive been neck length quite a couple times. so dont be discouraged! itll work out im neck length once again but my hair is also growing and i see how soft and healthy it is so i know it will all be fine, i felt how ur feeling a couple days ago. im about to partial weave it up so im not staring at my hair everyday n the mirror getting discouraged!

 

[IDareT'sHair]

Girl, Listen....Nothing can be more devastating that Losing your Hair and have it totally unhealthy and not knowing what to do. It really affects every aspect of your life.erplexed

That was me December 08/January 09. I was totally at a loss. I had been going to the Salon Weekly for Over 25 Years. Every Thursday like Clockwork.

You Hair is Healthy. It is Growing. You are in the Best Place. And You Have a Wealth of Knowledge. Just think where you'd be if you weren't Part of the Forum???

I did stretch my first time 11 weeks, the 2nd time 13 weeks and this last time 16 weeks(and I was literally 3/4th 'bald')

No, I did not wear a Wig, Weave, Braids Nada. But, I deep conditioned weekly, got my Protein, Moisture and Porosity in check and worked with what I had.

This Summer, I wore a Phony-Bun and Gelled back Hair. It slid off more than it stayed on, but I made the most of it.

I did not look at it as "Hiding My Hair" I looked at it as "Protecting" My Hair.

From January - April, I will be wearing a Wig. Again, not to "Hide my Hair" BUT To Protect My Hair from the Harsh Winter Elements.

Underneath the Wig, alot will be going on....A lot of deep conditioning, a lot of Moisturizing and alot of TLC, so when Spring rolls around, I will be pleased with my efforts.

Stay Encouraged. Stay Positive. And KIM. Things Could "Always" be Worse.

 

[LadyRaider]

I am with you. I'm just getting to shoulder length now and I'm sooo worried about "protective styling." But shouldn't I be enjoying my hair too? It's no where a length that I'd be proud of... like a full shoulder length or APL, but it's what I got yet I pull it back into a bun every day lately because I'm worried about having longer hair someday in the future.

I KNOW better. It's the same with trying to lose weight. There's no reason to hate yourself and not buy cute clothes until you get to THAT size. But basically that's what I'm doing with my hair.

I'm not sure yet how to enjoy my hair and protect it too. I'm six months post and intent on going natural. I don't think relaxing would make much difference at this point.

Nothing to help, just commiserating with you.

 

[ceebee3]

Well you picked a good place to vent. We've all felt like this at times. I was feeling like that this week.

I'm tired of my hair and frustrated, I know that it's healthy and growing but I'm just not satisfied right now.

I'm going to try to learn how to do some new protective styles this weekend to give myself a nice change.

Maybe you should just try something that will take your mind off of your hair for a while.

This too shall pass.

 

[trendsetta25]

i agree with everyone...if you really want to stretch with short hair try a weave. It will make styling way easier and plus it will keep your mind off your own hair. When you take your install out you will be amazed to see how much progress you've made


P.S...this is for you

 

[Irresistible]

Hang in there.

It's too easy for me to say to not be discouraged. That means absolutely nothing when you are not feeling your best about your hair. If it is any consolation to you, everyone has bad hair days. You are very cognizant, or aware of what is going on with you and your hair and that is more than 1/2 the battle. It sounds to me like you are focused, have a goal and know where you are going. Those are all so very important and are a journey in themselves to get to. You are already there with those things.
I think taking photos on days like these and looking at photos of your hair at the beginning of your journey can sometimes help. Keep going. We are here to listen and support you.

What she said

its just a bad day, it gets better , you gotta fight to get through the various stages your hair will go through to get to where you want-it aint always easy, just find/do something that will make you feel better and take your hair off your mind for now

 

[Irresistible]

I am with you. I'm just getting to shoulder length now and I'm sooo worried about "protective styling." But shouldn't I be enjoying my hair too? It's no where a length that I'd be proud of... like a full shoulder length or APL, but it's what I got yet I pull it back into a bun every day lately because I'm worried about having longer hair someday in the future.

I KNOW better. It's the same with trying to lose weight. There's no reason to hate yourself and not buy cute clothes until you get to THAT size. But basically that's what I'm doing with my hair.

I'm not sure yet how to enjoy my hair and protect it too. I'm six months post and intent on going natural. I don't think relaxing would make much difference at this point.

Nothing to help, just commiserating with you.

I think you can find a way to balance that out and do both, mostly do protective styling to get to your goal, with some enjoyment in there too

if you need to enjoy it some to help you get to your goal and keep you motivated , just do it, do it for you

a little let up here and there on the Protective styles wont do too much

 

[destine2grow]

I am frustrated that I can't style my short hair. I am growing my hair out of a short cut with it tapered in the back. My hair is 1 inch in the back. and my hair on the sides now come to the middle of my ear. I just take it one day at a time. I stick to my regimen and keep my hair wrapped all day every day.

 

[Irresistible]

Girl, Listen....Nothing can be more devastating that Losing your Hair and have it totally unhealthy and not knowing what to do. It really affects every aspect of your life.erplexed

That was me December 08/January 09. I was totally at a loss. I had been going to the Salon Weekly for Over 25 Years. Every Thursday like Clockwork.

You Hair is Healthy. It is Growing. You are in the Best Place. And You Have a Wealth of Knowledge. Just think where you'd be if you weren't Part of the Forum???

I did stretch my first time 11 weeks, the 2nd time 13 weeks and this last time 16 weeks(and I was literally 3/4th 'bald')

No, I did not wear a Wig, Weave, Braids Nada. But, I deep conditioned weekly, got my Protein, Moisture and Porosity in check and worked with what I had.

This Summer, I wore a Phony-Bun and Gelled back Hair. It slid off more than it stayed on, but I made the most of it.

I did not look at it as "Hiding My Hair" I looked at it as "Protecting" My Hair.

From January - April, I will be wearing a Wig. Again, not to "Hide my Hair" BUT To Protect My Hair from the Harsh Winter Elements.

Underneath the Wig, alot will be going on....A lot of deep conditioning, a lot of Moisturizing and alot of TLC, so when Spring rolls around, I will be pleased with my efforts.

Stay Encouraged. Stay Positive. And KIM. Things Could "Always" be Worse.

yup , the cure for Hair Anorexia is going through something worse

trust me I know all too well

sad sometimes we gotta hit rock bottom to appreciate what we once had, but it certainly changes your outlook , quick fast and in a hurry

Here's to positivity

 

[shunemite]

WOW! Thank you so much, so so much! I was in a rut today. The back of my hair kept sticking out. Now that I think of it, I do have a phoney bun in my house, and I can start with that. It feels good to be able to talk about my struggles and get all this support. The reason I don't want to put in braids just yet is that I will be putting some in January, and I have this cycle where I hide my "ugly" hair. It would certainly be better if I thought of it as protective styling.

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

I am pretty sure there are ladies here who've stretched their relaxers while having short hair.
Have you considered trying rollersets with the smaller rollers to give you a Shirley Temple look? This is very low maintenance and can assist you during your stretching periods.

 

[brucebettye]

We all have bad hair days. Try a new hairstyle that has always help me when I start feeling bad about my hair.

 

[CaliDiamond]

We all have bad hair days. Try a new hairstyle that has always help me when I start feeling bad about my hair.

Amen! Try flat twists, 2 strand twists, or braidouts.