Natural Hair *Rant*

[TrendySocialite]

I'm not feeling that confident right now about my natural hair. I have seen so many relaxed swinging hairstyles....I miss my relaxed hair...TERRIBLY.

My hair is growing slow IMO and so I bought an afro wig

It is GI-NOR-MOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a conservative (translation: non-black ) event to attend tomorrow and I had really planned to rock this wig. But it is soooooooooooo big and now I'm not sure how my look is going to turn out....*sigh*

All of this has made me feel not so confident about my hair and my look right now...

I am usually confident but some people's reactions are starting to bug me a little. And men seem a bit put off by it...I'm trying to hold strong because I did this for me...

I think I just needed to vent and needed a little ego-strokin....LOL

Thanks for listening!

 

[Skyfall]

aawwwwwww
don't let them haters get you down lol
you look very cute with ur new hair
maybe you can get a relaxed hair wig to switch it up sometimes.

 

[FindingMe]

Girl, don't let it get you down! You and your hair are beautiful! Your hair is growing, it is just going to take time. Here's the thing, if you transitioned to natural for yourself, any man who is put off by that is not for you. Don't let these busters get you down! Wear you afro wig to your event...watch...the non-black folks are going to be oooh-ing and aaah-ing over your hair....

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Girl, stop playing and wear your faux updo. I saw it on your blog & it's fierce!!

http://hauteandhair.blogspot.com/2009/08/faux-updo-on-twa.html

I do understand though. My hair is growing oh so slow as well. Some people have done a BC and have 6 - 12 inches of hair in one year but me, I seem to get 3 inches per year. I will not have my own BIG hair for about 2 more years.

 

[ThickHair]

If that is you with the short fro in your sig line, I think your hair is fine the way it is. Beautiful skin and smile does wonders.

 

[mscocoface]

I bought the afro wig and cut it down. Look in my fotki for the picture it is a side few.

I use it sometimes has a half wig and do flat twists in the front.

I won't lie getting use to this new texture and all of its wonderous glory can be a character building situation.

I hope you continue on your natural hair journey. I promise there is more to learn about your hair and yourself.

 

[Creatividual]

Hold strong. Girl, your hair looks fabulous! Those guys givin strange looks just aren't appreciative and forget them. I think you could wear your hair the way that it is to the even. You can dress is up with a dressy hair clip or earrings. Check out YouTube for TWA hairstyle ideas. Or like mscocoface said, cut the wig to a style/length that better suits you.

 

[vkb247]

You have gorgeous hair and look so naturally lovely in you siggy pics! Have you though about wearing the fro with your own hair in a braided or bantu knotted "headband" in the front. I think you would look so regal like that. Can you do a braid out or something like that to the wig? Either way girl I bet most of those guys who give you weird looks may just be intrigued by your uniqueness. Man are usually enticed by anything that is different from what they see everyday. Be fierce!

 

[TrendySocialite]

Thank you ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew you would improve my outlook and confidence.

I can rock a picked out fro with my own hair....not quite as big as I wanted for tomorrow though...so we'll see. I think I may try to cut this wig down some...

I'll post pics of my look....

 

[mscocoface]

Cut a little at a time so you have an idea of how it will look before you cut the whole wig.

 

[HeavenlySkies]

And men seem a bit put off by it...I'm trying to hold strong because I did this for me...

F those jiveturkeys...a natural woman attracts a different caliber of a man than a relaxed one imo. When that man comes around you will know he's about something. I think the wig looks hot btw. Gonna take a picture wearing it?​

 

[Nubenap22]

F those jiveturkeys...a natural woman attracts a different caliber of a man than a relaxed one imo. When that man comes around you will know he's about something. I think the wig looks hot btw. Gonna take a picture wearing it?​

LMAO @ jiveturkey wow haven't heard that in ages!!! But don't worry Arr le your inner confidence shine Rock those hips and own those coworkers of yours.... Your hair is beautiful and remember ur hair can tell when your stressing!!!!

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I feel you sis, I think your fro is more then beautiful on its own and you don't really need a wig. But if you want that straight look for a change and you don't feel like wearing it big for this particular event.... dont.

I LOVE my fro but sometimes I'm like hey, I wanna feel my hair swang for the next week.....and I just go ahead and do my press n flat iron routine and enjoy the feel of my hair swingin and bouncin down my back, then the next week I'll do whatever else I'm feelin like and so on.....the beauty of natural hair is its versatility so i say go with what you feel above and beyond all else

 

[nappystorm]

You're gorgeous. You can carry off any hairstyle. I like the wig and I also like your real hair

 

[kweenameena]

Just to clarify: there is no such thing as a fro that is too big. The bigger the better

I actually think that your own fro accentuates your face beautifully. But I love the fro wig as well. It looked very natural.The way you described it....I was expecting something ginormous.

You could always wear your own hair and put a pretty flower from michael's in your hair to jazz it up a bit. A cute barrette, scarf, headband, ribbon, or even small flowers would look cute as well. You can shingle your hair to make your curls more pronounced, do a twist out, braid out, coil out, or a blown out fro. Big earrings are always trendy and studs can keep you looking demure. Be creative. Your best accessory is always your smile and confidence.
Let us know what you decide to do and take pics if possible. You know we love to have a visual to drool over.
Good Luck, Sis!

 

[Ms Lala]

I think your hair looks great on it's own. I really like your curly twist out fro look. I would rock that with a flower on the side to add some flavor.

 

[SEMO]

Well, I think your natural hair looks fabulous. You should totally rock that and put on a cut headband/flower or something.

 

[tocktick]

I agree with the suggestions of dressing it up with accessories if you're not feeling confident. Although I do think one of the most classy and sophisticated looks is often just an afro with nothing on it. A twistout on short natural hair also looks so cute to me.

Anyway, I was once in your shoes where I felt very insecure about my hair. When it got too much, I just kept it in a protective style (individual braids using extensions). After 3 months I took the braids out and I was in love with it my hair again. If you're missing straight hair, try a straight wig or weave. If that doesn't make you happy then maybe the truth is a relaxer will. But make sure your reasons for going back are solid; for example, you complain your hair grows slowly now but it isn't going to grow quicker if you relax anyway. So you'll have to deal with short relaxed hair instead.

As far as men go, for the most part it seems their issue is more to do with length as opposed to texture from my observation. With that said, if my type 4 hair is keeping the men away who are turned off by it, then I'm so glad.

 

[andromeda]

I'm sort of taken aback because, prior to this thread, your siggy has caught my eye several times. Not only are you gorgeous with a great smile but, IMHO, you have that "ideal natural" look - confident and elegant, with a dash of spunk. Especially in the upper left hand pic - can't tell you nothing, girl!

I totally understand your trepidation about looking un-conservative with such a voluminous wig, but between headbands, hair pins, etc. I'm sure you'll look great with the wig or your own hair.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

I was gonna say just rock your own hair.

 

[jada1111]

I'm not feeling that confident right now about my natural hair. I have seen so many relaxed swinging hairstyles....I miss my relaxed hair...TERRIBLY.

My hair is growing slow IMO and so I bought an afro wig

It is GI-NOR-MOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a conservative (translation: non-black ) event to attend tomorrow and I had really planned to rock this wig. But it is soooooooooooo big and now I'm not sure how my look is going to turn out....*sigh*

All of this has made me feel not so confident about my hair and my look right now...

I am usually confident but some people's reactions are starting to bug me a little. And men seem a bit put off by it...I'm trying to hold strong because I did this for me...

I think I just needed to vent and needed a little ego-strokin....LOL

Thanks for listening!

Rock the wig! I love it!

Your BLACK. Other races know that we don't have hair like theirs, so they will assume it all yours, even if they don't, what are they gonna say?

You'd be surprised how many men love our hair in its natural state, especially the longer it grows.

 

[mswoman]

I agree rock your own hair... Your confidence will show others that you have no fear. If you go in wimpy or looking sad others will pick up on it. Let your soul glow!

 

[momi]

shame on you! girl your hair on your blog is fierce! much better than the fake fro -

 

[LightEyedMami]

I know what you mean i have been natural for 6 years and i ALWAYS think about getting a relaxer but i keep holding on. My main problem is knots

 

[TrendySocialite]

Thank you soooooooooooo much for the encouragement!!!!

I ended up cutting the wig....did a horrible job LOL but I will just order another one soon. But considering I wear it wild and choppy, you couldn't tell. Here is a pic from the way I wore it at the game (with the flower) and a pic of how I wore it to church this morning (headband)...

I got a lot of compliments on the way I looked, although I don't think the Athletic Director's wife was too keen on my look...she'll be alright though!!!!!

 

[Soliel185]

I think sometimes we naturals, especially the new ones, get caught up in "bigness" It's as though size is a substitute for length with us. But you don't need giant natural hair to make a statement, look beautiful, or get noticed -- look at how Solange has been rockin her extra TWA? She's looks GORGEOUS and she's glowing in a way that a giant fro or miles of yaki wouldn't give her.

Stay confident in yourself, and your hair. When others see that, they'll come runnin. The first few weeks that I had my fro I felt like everyone hated it. Men wouldn't make eye contact. I could hear people talking about me. Children would stop dead in their tracks and then back away slowly. It was terrible! And I felt so self-conscious that the whole thing just got worse.

Fast fwd - the past 2-3 weeks I've had at least one person every day compliment my hair, tell me I was pretty, or attempt to ask me out, and I think the only difference is that now I've gotten used to the fro, and I'm confident in it and that is what other people are really seeing when they compliment me.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

r u freakin kiddin me?? u look fine girl!!! Love the look on your blog! you look like Phylis Hyman. Well you remind me of her.

 

[suburbanbushbabe]

I think your own hair looks nicer.

 

[TrendySocialite]

I think sometimes we naturals, especially the new ones, get caught up in "bigness" It's as though size is a substitute for length with us. But you don't need giant natural hair to make a statement, look beautiful, or get noticed -- look at how Solange has been rockin her extra TWA? She's looks GORGEOUS and she's glowing in a way that a giant fro or miles of yaki wouldn't give her.

Stay confident in yourself, and your hair. When others see that, they'll come runnin. The first few weeks that I had my fro I felt like everyone hated it. Men wouldn't make eye contact. I could hear people talking about me. Children would stop dead in their tracks and then back away slowly. It was terrible! And I felt so self-conscious that the whole thing just got worse.

Fast fwd - the past 2-3 weeks I've had at least one person every day compliment my hair, tell me I was pretty, or attempt to ask me out, and I think the only difference is that now I've gotten used to the fro, and I'm confident in it and that is what other people are really seeing when they compliment me.

Such words of wisdom.....you're my hair idol anyway! If I had your hair I'd tell everyone to kiss my grits!!!!!!!!!!!!! And when I do get that hair...I WILL

 

[TrendySocialite]

r u freakin kiddin me?? u look fine girl!!! Love the look on your blog! you look like Phylis Hyman. Well you remind me of her.

Wow thanks!!!!!!!!!! I love Phyllis, thought she was beautiful!!!!!!!! Thanks for the compliment....