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Venting: WHY DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

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beans4reezy

beans4reezy

Well-Known Member
Okay, so I am having a party for my son this weekend and made the terrible mistake of discussing what I was going to do with my hair. I casually mention that I will rollerset it and out it in a pin -up. Well, according to my cousins, I better get a perm before I host the party lookin' like a "crack head". :evil: R y'all serious??

I am switching from a relaxer to a texturizer, I am 13 weeks post, plus I have been cowashing a lot, so my hair has got a lot of texture to it- I just wear it in buns, so I have a feeling the comments made were in protest to my bunning.

But my question is, why in the world - I mean, why is it so pervasive in our culture that bone straight hair gives u a "nicer" more "elegant" and "fit for a party" look? I wouldn't exactly call a roller set pinned up an unkempt look.

Secondly, all of these chicks have relaxed hair- all of these heads are damaged. Nasty ends, dry hair. They have stayed at the same length forever! Never have I remembered any of them having any signifcant length. One of my cousins has faithfully worn fake hair for years. Do you think they might open their eyes to the possibility that maybe the relaxer is not working for their hair? Or they'd need a better way to care for it?

NOPE. All they could do is poke fun at the way that I care for my hair. I'm so annoyed right now; but guess what? I'm pressing on. They are going to be SOO SICK WHEN my hair reaches BSL in two years. Patience, patience, patience and SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

Good luck reaching your goal! DOn't pay them any attention...people think it's taboo to CARE about your hair. Then they wonder and ask how you did it...you don't need a relaxer for your hair to look good. However you feel comfortable wearing is enough! Texture is a good thing!
 
Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

ITA w/BrowneLovely. Don't let anyone discourage you from doing what you feel is right for your hair! IA w/you, they are going to be too sick when you hit BSL!
 
Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

I wouldn't worry about it. Just like you said they will be "soo sick" and probably trying to mimic how you care for your hair.
 
Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

It's ok..once you've got your long flowing locks (hehe) they'll just stand around like:
omg01.jpg


-and you can be like-

Im_Better_Than_You_-_Dylan_Taylor.jpg


And then tell them what you do for your hair. :)
 
Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

brownelovely said:
People think it's taboo to CARE about your hair.
Click to expand...

Brownelovely, You said it PERFECTLY!

Let me mention a cowash and they look at me like I am a psycho path or something. I got some Hairveda alomond glaze in the mail and my cousin calls it a "hair potion":ohwell:
 
Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

its unfortunate that they upset you, but this thread is hilarious!!!!
you are so ready to let them know they don't what they are talking about!
but don't let those haters be your hair motivation - do this for you :yep:
because they are not worth the fuss ;)
 
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Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

dont pay them any attention do exactly what you said you were going to do with your hair im sure it will still look better than their hair
 
Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

I hear you. PREACH and let it! My mom knows what I'm doing to my hair and how it is much healthier but yet she always makes comments like, "It's nappy." Ironically I wear my hair straight so ANYTIME I stretch...it's nappy. I love her dearly but I pays her no mind. I don't have friends that remark on my hear bc no matter how I have it - extenions, half wigs, all out natural or straight...I hook it up some type of way. It's YOUR CROWN OF GLORY!!!
 
Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

The come around once they see the progress...my sisters thought I had lost my mind when I took the scissors and chopped away at my permed her in 05.....fast track to 09 and I have managed to get two of them to be natural for about I am still working on my other sister who perms her and her daughters hair and that hair hasnt gone anywhere in the last year or 2.....When you get people like you cousins its best to have tunnel vision...just see you! Concentrate on your goals and dont get sidetracked by their comments and in no time you will be swinging BSL in their faces!
 
Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

Honey, do you. It's your hair, and yes, when you get to your desired length; and you will, give them the business swanging that beautiful hair in their face! :grin:
 
Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

Thats why I usually dont talk to ppl about my hair unless Im on here. Some ppl just dont understand.....
 
Re: Venting: WHY THE *** DO I NEED A PERM??!! LONG VENT!

Nothing is more satisfying and gratifying than when you prove someone wrong especially by having long healthy hair and they sit there looking at you like this:blush:and this :perplexed about to bust wide open asking you what you did to get your hair like that.

We are changing ways that have been going on since the relaxer was first created and the establishment said to relax every 6 to 8 weeks which is really another way of saying "In order to keep me in business, I need you to purchase this regularly and I don't care what your hair looks like."
 
Do what you feel is best and what you WANT to do for your hair. I feel ya. Some people have such a limited perspective, but I guess it is learned and they don't have a place like LHCF to help them see things differently. A friend of mine was/is having some hair problems and I tried to convince her not to get a relaxer every 4-6 weeks :ohwell: to which she responded, "I can't walk around looking like a slave." (she has a very prestigious job, but still there are ways to keep your hair looking nice without relaxing it so often)
 
Yeah don't get mad they just don't understand when you reach your goal and you are rocking beautiful healthy hair and they STILL don't have enough hair to roll on a Q-Tip then I am sure that one of 2 things will happen

1. They will be BEGGING you for a REGGIE
2. After you reach your goal they will STILL be telling you to get a perm because that is all that they know or they will be hating and telling you to get a perm cause you proved them wrong and they are praying that your hair will fall out

Just saying

Don't pay them any never mind and just BE
 
Almaz said:
After you reach your goal they will STILL be telling you to get a perm because that is all that they know
Click to expand...

You're right. I can grow hair down to my booty crack and it will still be the same thing. Unfortunately, ignorance is a tough thing to change:nono:
 
Ooo, just wait! At some point they will start soliciting you for advice. When they see that whatever potions you're using have grown your hair down your back and they are still at the same tired length with the same tired raggedy ends.

It trips me out when women who have ZERO hair care skills feel the need to offer input (usually negative).

But truthfully, women (relaxed or natural) who have beautiful hair are most often supportive and helpful because they know what it takes to care for and nurture their hair.

It's always the scruggley-wuggely chicks who wanna talk a bunch of BONK!
**shakes fist**
 
I give friends and family one time to say something negative about my hair. Once that happens, I never discuss hair with them again. I know that even if I were to get to BSL and flat iron my hair, someone would say "did you get a relaxer?" and I would say "no"...then they would have to find something to say to prove that my hair would be better with a relaxer. It's futile.
 
I agree, most of the time, people who know absolutely nothing about hair care are always the 1st ones to tell you what you need. My cousin told me just a few weeks ago, my edges where the"worst" and i needed a perm, so i told her, im trying not to relx my hair for 16 weeks or more, i was on my 10th week then, and she goes well just relax your edges, you dont have to relax the whole head, cause thats what i do, just relax the edges.. mind you 1 whole side of her hair is BALD!!! she hides it with a swooped bang with every weave or phoney pony she wears, she could never wear her hair out cause if the wind blows:nono::nono:
I told her i wanted no parts of any hair advice from her because she has no hair and she gets upset with me and says i'm mean. But i have to explain to her, why whould i take advice from someone who has no hair, and has no idea what she's doing wrong and how to get her hair to grow back?? its like underhanded sabatoge to me, she's like a selfmade militia trying to take peoples edges out because hers are gone:blush:
I compared it to someone who just went bankrupt for poor finances or lost there business and then tried to skool someone else how to make money?? she laughed and said its not the same thing, so i can just walk around looking crazy if i want!:perplexed:ohwell:
 
I would just like to state that I have personally never seen a crackhead with a bun or a rollerset.

Matter of fact just about every single crackhead I've ever seen had a broken down chewed up relaxer. :look:

When did a bun become "unkempt"?
 
Soliel185 said:
I would just like to state that I have personally never seen a crackhead with a bun or a rollerset.

Matter of fact just about every single crackhead I've ever seen had a broken down chewed up relaxer. :look:

When did a bun become "unkempt"?
Click to expand...

I guess because she's not walking around looking like some stanky corner girl trying to catch, she looks bad. They need to keep steppin. And omg...that rejection of hair advice from someone with no hair comment had me dyin!!:lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
In my opinion, the healthiest black women's hair has ever been was in the 70's when they wore naturals. The closest to chemicals was a blow out kit. Almost all my girlfriends have gone natural and their hair is so strong and healthy. Some of my girls have opted to add a little color (rinses). They sport a variety of naturals style and they are beautiful. Not to mention they tons of compliments on their looks. I too am natural and I love it. I also love the compliments. So don't worry about those haters who think straight hair or weaves are the only way to be beautiful. God knew what he was doing when he made us.
 
I think a lot of black women are like your cousins. No matter how damaged or scraggly their hair is, they don't really see it as a problem as long as it is straight. The notion of stretching your relaxer and wearing protective styles especially if it is not a straight style is a foreign concept to them. And people tend to make fun of things that they do not understand so nevermind them. Just do what you are doing and when they see the results at least some of them will come around.
 
ljamie4 said:
i've never see a crackhead with a rollerset either, lol not a all out corner crackhead anyway:lachen::lachen:
Click to expand...

HAHAHAHAHHA you took the words right outta my mouth! OMG!
and girl, i been hearin that for my whole life as a natural... my family loves their perms... granted they are healthy but their hair is short and boring...
shake dem hatas off!
 
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