Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Just do it already!
Sometimes that nagging voice in the back of your mind is your intuition telling you something ain't right for you, and is not, I REPEAT IS NOT 300 years of oppression telling you to conform to a European standard of beauty.
Let me tell ya'll a story fam.
For folks that don't know me, I was relaxed when I came to this board and decided that the best way to achieve my hair goals was to go natural.
During a 14 month transition, where I stumbled from product to product and all kind of hair utensils trying to 'work with my hair'. I thought about relaxing my hair almost every day for the first 6 months and then when I finally got a workable regimen, the thoughts faded a bit.
When I did my BC, I was loving my hair. My regimen was pretty solid and I dug wearing a puff. Easy riding from here on out, right?
Naw son, I learned really quick that my hair was prone to knotting. It didn't matter what kind of protective style it was in, if I trimmed within weeks the knots were back. I went to every hair board looking for solutions and the best advice anybody could give me was - scissors.
Some won't agree but to me scissors are not a solution, they are a symptom of a problem. NOBODY should have to trim their hair every other week. ESPECIALLY if the same person wasn't prone to split ends or knotting when their hair was in a 'weaker' relaxed state. Of course every time I picked up my hair shears, the lil voice in the back of my mind was like 'not this ish again!'
When I got into my third year as a natural, I found my knotting problem changed as my hair got longer. Instead of knotting at the ends of my hair I started getting multiple single strand knots up my hair strands. After a 2 inch cut and then another 4 inch cut six months later I WAS LIVID. I had a lot of internal arguements with myself on how being natural was basically costing me the ability to retain length. My happy medium was that I was going to start heat training my hair.
Pressing my natural hair didn't last long because the combination of returning knots + almost instant reversion made the process futile. So I spent a good 3 months researching relaxing regimens/interviewing potential stylists and finally went to do the deed.
I ended up relaxing (texlaxing) last August and haven't had a second thought about being natural. If anything I know that the only time I'll return to natural hair is if I'm content with keeping a short cropped style since length seems to lead to the knotting problem for me.
The point of my story is that I went natural and was content with my hair but it just wasn't working for me so I made a change. But even more importantly, since I've been relaxed that little nagging voice has faded into the background. Although, it comes back out around 15 weeks post to tell me it's time for a touch up.
I'm putting this out there because I still read natural threads and I see alot of myself in the problems folks are trying to overcome. Maybe 'you' will be able to find the thing that helps your hair woes, but if you don't and your hair becomes a source of inner turmoil sometimes you shouldn't feel shame for seriously considering relaxing.
That's all I got.
Sometimes that nagging voice in the back of your mind is your intuition telling you something ain't right for you, and is not, I REPEAT IS NOT 300 years of oppression telling you to conform to a European standard of beauty.
Let me tell ya'll a story fam.
For folks that don't know me, I was relaxed when I came to this board and decided that the best way to achieve my hair goals was to go natural.
During a 14 month transition, where I stumbled from product to product and all kind of hair utensils trying to 'work with my hair'. I thought about relaxing my hair almost every day for the first 6 months and then when I finally got a workable regimen, the thoughts faded a bit.
When I did my BC, I was loving my hair. My regimen was pretty solid and I dug wearing a puff. Easy riding from here on out, right?
Naw son, I learned really quick that my hair was prone to knotting. It didn't matter what kind of protective style it was in, if I trimmed within weeks the knots were back. I went to every hair board looking for solutions and the best advice anybody could give me was - scissors.
Some won't agree but to me scissors are not a solution, they are a symptom of a problem. NOBODY should have to trim their hair every other week. ESPECIALLY if the same person wasn't prone to split ends or knotting when their hair was in a 'weaker' relaxed state. Of course every time I picked up my hair shears, the lil voice in the back of my mind was like 'not this ish again!'
When I got into my third year as a natural, I found my knotting problem changed as my hair got longer. Instead of knotting at the ends of my hair I started getting multiple single strand knots up my hair strands. After a 2 inch cut and then another 4 inch cut six months later I WAS LIVID. I had a lot of internal arguements with myself on how being natural was basically costing me the ability to retain length. My happy medium was that I was going to start heat training my hair.
Pressing my natural hair didn't last long because the combination of returning knots + almost instant reversion made the process futile. So I spent a good 3 months researching relaxing regimens/interviewing potential stylists and finally went to do the deed.
I ended up relaxing (texlaxing) last August and haven't had a second thought about being natural. If anything I know that the only time I'll return to natural hair is if I'm content with keeping a short cropped style since length seems to lead to the knotting problem for me.
The point of my story is that I went natural and was content with my hair but it just wasn't working for me so I made a change. But even more importantly, since I've been relaxed that little nagging voice has faded into the background. Although, it comes back out around 15 weeks post to tell me it's time for a touch up.
I'm putting this out there because I still read natural threads and I see alot of myself in the problems folks are trying to overcome. Maybe 'you' will be able to find the thing that helps your hair woes, but if you don't and your hair becomes a source of inner turmoil sometimes you shouldn't feel shame for seriously considering relaxing.
That's all I got.
Oh my goodness it was GORGEOUS!! I said I want to dye my hair this color and sport this look, but I can't right now due to finances.
That's all I do is think about is relaxing, and I swear if I didn't get that bald spot in 05 from that Just for me I'd be all over a box of Phyto. But I'm too scared. Not to mention I prefer wearing my hair straight, and I get loads more compliments that way...so I'm torn.
great post JCoily. Sometimes when you are in that turmoil-state it helps to hear someone urge you to move forward. I tossed and turned for four months before I relaxed/texlaxed. I was just so torn. I have no regrets though. Although some days I do miss my natural hair. I have a lot of new growth right now and I am enjoying playing in it
and dont' get me wrong I do love my hair natural but I mean the time where I feel like I've lost hours of my life where I could be more productive) styling my hair, waiting for my hair to dry, detangling my hair. That I had given myself a six month deadline to relax or not and that started last year.
I couldn't agree more. We should do what makes us happy and what works for us in the end.
Your blackness is not measure by what state your hair is in. Of course that is only if you believe that hair doesn't define who you are. I have mentioned this before but my mother has been natural since 1970. Proud wearer of the Angela Davis fro, even until today. My mother is not a hair person, she likes it simple and easy and with her fro, she doesn't have to do anything to it. It works for her so she has kept it for the last 30 some odd years. Your hair shouldn't become a burden. If you find yourself becoming overwhelming frustrated whether relaxed or natural, don't feel ashamed to make a change. 
oke:do you have fotki? Would you mind sharing your hair story & reggie? I am thinking of doing what you are doing. May grow out the relaxer and keep it straight most of the time. California weather is mild enough I think and the humidity isn't bad.
