Divorcing My Stylsit (I'm Scared)

[ellennicole]

I have posted this before, but I am definitely going to do it. I was using Meta Tek since September and my hair looked amazing this past Thankksgiving. The growth was amazing. Fast forward to Christmas. I decide I just want to flat iron my hair... and she CUTS a good inch or more off. I wasn't really paying attention. . . but she cuts NOT clips my ends every two weeks. I had to just stop going every two weeks b/c I was seeing no progress. . . and I've told her NUMEROUS times that I want to grow my hair out to one length.. WHY do I still have bangs after five years???

I really like her a person, and we get a long great, but I have just come to the conclusion that she is NOT helping my growth process. . . I don't want to do a relaxer every six weeks and she insists (and I agree that she can't force me to, but I am a wimp when it comes toher and give in).

I want to stretch and only dust every three to four months. . . but I really need to figure out what I'm going to do.

I have a wealth of knowledge.. but I am debating transitioning or just going to her every 10-12 weeks for a relaxer.

Those of you who left/divorced your stylist and started to regain control of your hair... what did you all do??? A friend of mine has beautiful hair and she goes to a white woman to have her ends clip every three to four months . I'm thinking about going to her stylist just for the clips.


Any advice ????

 

[diamond42377]

Many stylists are scissor happy and for some reason think that they know what's best for your hair. I had an issue with my last stylist not doing good relaxers and always wanting to chop inches off my hair (I let her chop some, but only what I was comfortable with). She also told me my hair was "eating the relaxer because it was hungry" when I was self-relaxing and insisted she needed to do the relaxing since it wasn't taking when I did it.

In your case, maybe you can just go for the relaxer every 10-12 weeks. Maybe feel her out to see if she is cool with that (some stylists have contempt when you don't come in frequently). Don't let her cut anything, have your ends dusted elsewhere or do it yourself. If you are unhappy with the service, let it go completely.

 

[brooklyngal73]

You're joking, right?! WTF was she smoking when she told you that mess?

Many stylists are scissor happy and for some reason think that they know what's best for your hair. I had an issue with my last stylist not doing good relaxers and always wanting to chop inches off my hair (I let her chop some, but only what I was comfortable with). She also told me my hair was "eating the relaxer because it was hungry" when I was self-relaxing and insisted she needed to do the relaxing since it wasn't taking when I did it.

In your case, maybe you can just go for the relaxer every 10-12 weeks. Maybe feel her out to see if she is cool with that (some stylists have contempt when you don't come in frequently). Don't let her cut anything, have your ends dusted elsewhere or do it yourself. If you are unhappy with the service, let it go completely.

 

[blue_flower]

"She also told me my hair was "eating the relaxer because it was hungry""

I've never heard that one before!!! LOL!!!

 

[MizzBrown]

I dont owe folks an explaination when i'm paying them.

Just leave.

You dont owe her jack. If you want to be nice and formal, then just tell her that you trying to grow out your hair....when she gives you a song and dance then just say "okay"..and keep it moving.

Just be blunt. I told my stylist " G, i'm trying to transition so i wont be seeing you for a while or i'm gonna stop coming to you every other week to save money" She was like "okay!" No biggie!

What can she do anyway? Call you every 6 weeks to tell you to come in for your touch-up and trim?

 

[Lucky's Mom]

I have posted this before, but I am definitely going to do it. I was using Meta Tek since September and my hair looked amazing this past Thankksgiving. The growth was amazing. Fast forward to Christmas. I decide I just want to flat iron my hair... and she CUTS a good inch or more off. I wasn't really paying attention. . . but she cuts NOT clips my ends every two weeks. I had to just stop going every two weeks b/c I was seeing no progress. . . and I've told her NUMEROUS times that I want to grow my hair out to one length.. WHY do I still have bangs after five years???

I really like her a person, and we get a long great, but I have just come to the conclusion that she is NOT helping my growth process. . . I don't want to do a relaxer every six weeks and she insists (and I agree that she can't force me to, but I am a wimp when it comes toher and give in).

I want to stretch and only dust every three to four months. . . but I really need to figure out what I'm going to do.

I have a wealth of knowledge.. but I am debating transitioning or just going to her every 10-12 weeks for a relaxer.

Those of you who left/divorced your stylist and started to regain control of your hair... what did you all do??? A friend of mine has beautiful hair and she goes to a white woman to have her ends clip every three to four months . I'm thinking about going to her stylist just for the clips.


Any advice ????

Oh yes my dear.... I have two words for you:

DUMP her. At the end of the day - it is YOUR hair!!!! You know it better than anyone else....I dumped all of my stylists, and now - if I had to go in for a Flat iron ( which I don't after I get my FHI Runway) I am watching them like HAWKS! I better not see any scissors.... or any other nasty petro product come near my head

LHCF is here for you - and if you need to find another stylist in the 8 or 10 weeks b/t relaxers - go for it.

Good luck to you!

 

[chebaby]

my stylist use to clip(not cut lol) my ends every 2 weeks and i wasnt seeing growth either so i just stop going to her. i go to her once every couple months now but i generally like doing my hair myself. and im transitioning so i could care lesss about getting my hair pressed.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Many stylists are scissor happy and for some reason think that they know what's best for your hair. I had an issue with my last stylist not doing good relaxers and always wanting to chop inches off my hair (I let her chop some, but only what I was comfortable with). She also told me my hair was "eating the relaxer because it was hungry" when I was self-relaxing and insisted she needed to do the relaxing since it wasn't taking when I did it.

In your case, maybe you can just go for the relaxer every 10-12 weeks. Maybe feel her out to see if she is cool with that (some stylists have contempt when you don't come in frequently). Don't let her cut anything, have your ends dusted elsewhere or do it yourself. If you are unhappy with the service, let it go completely.

WHAT????? THE HELL???? What is wrong with these people? What are they sniffing in these Shops?

 

[SouthernStunner]

I dont owe folks an explaination when i'm paying them.

Just leave.

You dont owe her jack. If you want to be nice and formal, then just tell her that you trying to grow out your hair....when she gives you a song and dance then just say "okay"..and keep it moving.

Just be blunt. I told my stylist " G, i'm trying to transition so i wont be seeing you for a while or i'm gonna stop coming to you every other week to save money" She was like "okay!" No biggie!

What can she do anyway? Call you every 6 weeks to tell you to come in for your touch-up and trim?

Girl you know you are one of my favorite people on here!!! When you comment on something you just tell it like it is. Whenever I see you respond to something I know its going to be right on the money and funny!

 

[naturallygoldie]

I had a stylist, miss old school-honey-i've-been-doing-this-for-years, for 8 years that promised that she would nurse my hair back to health cuz i needed this, that and the third (in retrospect all i needed was balance between protein and moisture) ...i then discovered the dominican salon and lhcf...she must've noticed the difference in my hair ( i went the dominicans twice and saw a difference the first time!!!) anyway i felt bad and went to her to give me one last perm......omg WHYYYYYYYYYYYY, she did something because both mine and my sister's hair shedded terribly!!!!
Gurl, just go. No need to stick with a scissor happy stylist!

 

[JayAnn0513]

I just stop going. I went to her faithfully from October 04 to Summer 06 and one day I just decided I was done and never went back. I still saw her as she did several of my relatives hair but she wasn't putting one finger in mine. As fast as my hair grows it should have been at least APL in 2yrs+ years and $$$$ of dollars I spent. I've grown the same amount of hair in 7 months as I did the whole time I was with her. Just stop calling her.

 

[diamond42377]

You're joking, right?! WTF was she smoking when she told you that mess?

"She also told me my hair was "eating the relaxer because it was hungry""

I've never heard that one before!!! LOL!!!

WHAT????? THE HELL???? What is wrong with these people? What are they sniffing in these Shops?

Haha, yeah at first I went along with it because I really wanted my hair done for my trip to NY. After a while I started thinkin WTF? All I remember is she said something about protein in the relaxer (?) I was using Creme of Nature so I don't know what she was talking about. Thank goodness for LHCF!

 

[NYAmicas]

I just started doing my hair myself, that way I cant get frustrated on hair mishaps with anyone but myself.

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

Girl tell your stylist---peace, I still have my stylist, but she understands that I stretch my relaxers, and she knows I'm trying to grow my hair out, so she knows I don't show up every 2 months, so I haven't got rid of my stylist, just taking a break and seeing how much growth I can get before I go back, and plus I'm doing my relaxing, dusting, and no hair color, BUT my aunt does hair and her daughters have waist length hair, so when I get to my goal(tailbone) then I'll probably go back to my aunt......right now I'm being lazy! But if I was you, I would take a break from her, and try to self relax(if you want to), or stretch, and let her know "it's my hair and I don't want to you to cut my hair, just relax" and if she refuses or get rude, tell her to kick rocks.......it's her lost and she loses money, you can always find someone else.........but in the end it's a decision you will have to make.

 

[tgrowe]

I have posted this before, but I am definitely going to do it. I was using Meta Tek since September and my hair looked amazing this past Thankksgiving. The growth was amazing. Fast forward to Christmas. I decide I just want to flat iron my hair... and she CUTS a good inch or more off. I wasn't really paying attention. . . but she cuts NOT clips my ends every two weeks. I had to just stop going every two weeks b/c I was seeing no progress. . . and I've told her NUMEROUS times that I want to grow my hair out to one length.. WHY do I still have bangs after five years???

I really like her a person, and we get a long great, but I have just come to the conclusion that she is NOT helping my growth process. . . I don't want to do a relaxer every six weeks and she insists (and I agree that she can't force me to, but I am a wimp when it comes toher and give in).

I want to stretch and only dust every three to four months. . . but I really need to figure out what I'm going to do.

I have a wealth of knowledge.. but I am debating transitioning or just going to her every 10-12 weeks for a relaxer.

Those of you who left/divorced your stylist and started to regain control of your hair... what did you all do??? A friend of mine has beautiful hair and she goes to a white woman to have her ends clip every three to four months . I'm thinking about going to her stylist just for the clips.


Any advice ????

Girl, girl, girl. Why have I been going thru the same dilemma? I have always been a DIYer and have only been to one stylist who actually helped my hair somewhat (I stopped going because of the time it took to get in and out and she use so MUCH dang grease; was looking like a grease monkey after all the grease and oil sheen). So I started going to another stylist last October (hadn't been to one in two years plus) because my hair was breaking and I needed a major trim. The one thing she did right was layer my hair pretty good since I didn't want to lose my length. The rest is down the drain. Her products left my hair feeling like a brillo pad. Her definition of a deep condition iwas putting some kind of watery reconstructor on my hair and letting me sit at the wash bowl for about 15-20 minutes while she worked on another head, mm hmmm! After she rollerset my hair, let it dry, and removed the rollers, she brushed and brushed and brushed my head like its a rug in order to style it. I don't brush my hair hardly ever. Then she told me when she relaxed my hair last that I didn't need to go longer than six weeks in between relaxers and that's why my hair was shedding. Maybe so, but it could also be hormones, or your drying products, or lack of hot oil treatments which I have started doing myself and it helps the shedding a lot. That was the last straw. Going to her was a big mistake. Everything that glittes ain't gold and learned that quickly. Now I am six weeks post and I'm not stepping foot in her shop again.

 

[Tallone]

Puh-leeze, just don't make an appt or make one on your terms, every couple months.
See you when I see you....with much longer hair

 

[Mai Tai]

You fresh out of luck...Should have got a Pre-Nup! LOL! JUST KIDDING!

For real, on the more serious note...Hear me when I say...you don't don't owe her anything. Great personality and good chemistry does not mean you have to patronize her business when she is keeping you from reaching the hair of your dreams.

I had had a stylist try to wrap my wet, thick, shoulder length hair with a rat tail comb after she just finished rubbing products in my hair like it was on fire and the only way to put it out was to vigorously rub wrapping foam from root to tip. When I heard my strands rip I asked her "Did you just rip my hair !?" Do you know this chic had the nerve to not only NOT apologize, but to also reply "Well GUUUUURL with all this hair on yo head, you ain't gonna miss those strands!" I'm like WTF! To say that I was baffled is an understatement. So I replied "I may have a lot of hair, but also I have separation anxiety. Since you separated hair unnaturally from my scalp, I'm going to separate you from my money, and my *** from your chair, and you can anxiously await my return!" I WAS PISSED! Needless to say...I walked out...wet tangled hair and all...and never came back.

So please please fire her! It's time to turn those hair dreams into reality. Good luck girl!

 

[jayjamlov]

My stylist use to throw weaves (glue), flatiron, perm my curls out and cut, cut, cut. I stopped going, and now just go to the local Hair Salon for light trims when needed. I've learned so much from LHCF that I'm basically my own stylist. The bad part is, I only know how to do roller sets

 

[Lucky's Mom]

You fresh out of luck...Should have got a Pre-Nup! LOL! JUST KIDDING!

For real, on the more serious note...Hear me when I say...you don't don't owe her anything. Great personality and good chemistry does not mean you have to patronize her business when she is keeping you from reaching the hair of your dreams.

I had had a stylist try to wrap my wet, thick, shoulder length hair with a rat tail comb after she just finished rubbing products in my hair like it was on fire and the only way to put it out was to vigorously rub wrapping foam from root to tip. When I heard my strands rip I asked her "Did you just rip my hair !?" Do you know this chic had the nerve to not only NOT apologize, but to also reply "Well GUUUUURL with all this hair on yo head, you ain't gonna miss those strands!" I'm like WTF! To say that I was baffled is an understatement. So I replied "I may have a lot of hair, but also I have separation anxiety. Since you separated hair unnaturally from my scalp, I'm going to separate you from my money, and my *** from your chair, and you can anxiously await my return!" I WAS PISSED! Needless to say...I walked out...wet tangled hair and all...and never came back.

So please please fire her! It's time to turn those hair dreams into reality. Good luck girl!

Oh HELL no.... See... Y'all would See me on the news.... I just know it..... I would have beat that woman with that Rattail comb.

I have saved the lives of many stylists by staying home.

 

[Mai Tai]

Oh HELL no.... See... Y'all would See me on the news.... I just know it..... I would have beat that woman with that Rattail comb.

I have saved the lives of many stylists by staying home.

THAT IS SOOOO FUNNY!

 

[MizzBrown]

Since you separated hair unnaturally from my scalp, I'm going to separate you from my money, and my *** from your chair, and you can anxiously await my return!" I WAS PISSED! Needless to say...I walked out...wet tangled hair and all...and never came back.

That's what i'm talkin' bout! Aint nothing gonna hurt a stylist more than for you to NOT pay her AND walk out her shop WITH WET HAIR! She rather be cursed out than for you to walk out and embarrass her.

Folks think we won't do that cause we need to look presentable. I am so glad you did that! Don't be afraid to walk out with conditioner and a shower cap on your head!

I once left one salon cause she overbooked while my stylist was on maternity leave. Sat their for 30 mins and thought HELL NO! Took my bag of hair and went down the street and asked everyone in the shop "Who knows how to do flat twists and how much!?"

I WILL leave and wont hesitate to go down the street and pay $15 more to get it done ON TIME...almost had me late for work dealing with her...

 

[alexstin]

You fresh out of luck...Should have got a Pre-Nup! LOL! JUST KIDDING!

For real, on the more serious note...Hear me when I say...you don't don't owe her anything. Great personality and good chemistry does not mean you have to patronize her business when she is keeping you from reaching the hair of your dreams.

I had had a stylist try to wrap my wet, thick, shoulder length hair with a rat tail comb after she just finished rubbing products in my hair like it was on fire and the only way to put it out was to vigorously rub wrapping foam from root to tip. When I heard my strands rip I asked her "Did you just rip my hair !?" Do you know this chic had the nerve to not only NOT apologize, but to also reply "Well GUUUUURL with all this hair on yo head, you ain't gonna miss those strands!" I'm like WTF! To say that I was baffled is an understatement. So I replied "I may have a lot of hair, but also I have separation anxiety. Since you separated hair unnaturally from my scalp, I'm going to separate you from my money, and my *** from your chair, and you can anxiously await my return!" I WAS PISSED! Needless to say...I walked out...wet tangled hair and all...and never came back.

So please please fire her! It's time to turn those hair dreams into reality. Good luck girl!

Oh HELL no.... See... Y'all would See me on the news.... I just know it..... I would have beat that woman with that Rattail comb.

I have saved the lives of many stylists by staying home.

 

[locabouthair]

I have posted this before, but I am definitely going to do it. I was using Meta Tek since September and my hair looked amazing this past Thankksgiving. The growth was amazing. Fast forward to Christmas. I decide I just want to flat iron my hair... and she CUTS a good inch or more off. I wasn't really paying attention. . . but she cuts NOT clips my ends every two weeks. I had to just stop going every two weeks b/c I was seeing no progress. . . and I've told her NUMEROUS times that I want to grow my hair out to one length.. WHY do I still have bangs after five years???

I really like her a person, and we get a long great, but I have just come to the conclusion that she is NOT helping my growth process. . . I don't want to do a relaxer every six weeks and she insists (and I agree that she can't force me to, but I am a wimp when it comes toher and give in).

I want to stretch and only dust every three to four months. . . but I really need to figure out what I'm going to do.

I have a wealth of knowledge.. but I am debating transitioning or just going to her every 10-12 weeks for a relaxer.

Those of you who left/divorced your stylist and started to regain control of your hair... what did you all do??? A friend of mine has beautiful hair and she goes to a white woman to have her ends clip every three to four months . I'm thinking about going to her stylist just for the clips.


Any advice ????

well went I divorced my stylist, my situation was worse, she wasnt washing out the relaxer properly and I had bald spots.

I look at it like this: You're on this site, learning tips and working hard to make your hair longer, if she's gonna cut your hair every two weeks, which is crazy IMO, all your work is in vain. Are you ends damaged? because I dont see any reason why someone would trim your hair every 2 weeks. The only time I did that was when my hair was really damaged.

 

[locabouthair]

You fresh out of luck...Should have got a Pre-Nup! LOL! JUST KIDDING!

For real, on the more serious note...Hear me when I say...you don't don't owe her anything. Great personality and good chemistry does not mean you have to patronize her business when she is keeping you from reaching the hair of your dreams.

I had had a stylist try to wrap my wet, thick, shoulder length hair with a rat tail comb after she just finished rubbing products in my hair like it was on fire and the only way to put it out was to vigorously rub wrapping foam from root to tip. When I heard my strands rip I asked her "Did you just rip my hair !?" Do you know this chic had the nerve to not only NOT apologize, but to also reply "Well GUUUUURL with all this hair on yo head, you ain't gonna miss those strands!" I'm like WTF! To say that I was baffled is an understatement. So I replied "I may have a lot of hair, but also I have separation anxiety. Since you separated hair unnaturally from my scalp, I'm going to separate you from my money, and my *** from your chair, and you can anxiously await my return!" I WAS PISSED! Needless to say...I walked out...wet tangled hair and all...and never came back.

So please please fire her! It's time to turn those hair dreams into reality. Good luck girl!

I would have been so PISSED! It's like she didnt care. What type of stylist is that??

 

[MizzBrown]

well went I divorced my stylist, my situation was worse, she wasnt washing out the relaxer properly and I had bald spots.

I look at it like this: You're on this site, learning tips and working hard to make your hair longer, if she's gonna cut your hair every two weeks, which is crazy IMO, all your work is in vain. Are you ends damaged? because I dont see any reason why someone would trim your hair every 2 weeks. The only time I did that was when my hair was really damaged.

How did u know it was the relaxer? Was it tingling when you got home?

 

[ajacks]

You don't have to stop being friends, but I wouldn't let her touch my hair again. It doesn't make sense to continue to pay someone to impede your progress, and if she can't understand that you are better off without her.

 

[locabouthair]

How did u know it was the relaxer? Was it tingling when you got home?

no, it wasnt tingling at all. I could tell by the type of breakage. I had it happen to me at my old stylist and thats how I knew.

the first picture is the breakage. That to me is NOT regular breakage. That had to be something chemical.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=312231&highlight=

When you notice one day your hair is suddenly broken off the 1/8 of an inch, thats not a result of not DCing, or not moisturizing

 

[Lucky's Mom]

THAT IS SOOOO FUNNY!

And Sadly, it is true!! I would Beat Someone's YOU KNOW WHAT :gunner7:for jacking up my hair...And then be on the Run.

 

[Mai Tai]

And Sadly, it is true!! I would Beat Someone's YOU KNOW WHAT :gunner7:for jacking up my hair...And then be on the Run.

LOL! I like your style!

 

[mightycute912]

I have divorced so many stylists. I just don't go back. I have even been so bold to go to someone else in the same shop (only to find they were no better). I feel like this, they (the stylist) are running their own business, and the customer is always right. I am paying you to do a service and if I feel as though the service I am receiving isn't great, then I won't go back. You shouldn't feel bad, you should get what you ask and pay for. It is ridiculous that she is even pressuring you to do things you don't feel is necessary at that time. I can't tell you what to do, but I would run in the opposite direction if I were you. It makes for an uncomfortable situation and ultimately you will be left feeling unsatisfied time and time again.