SHE RELAXED HER 5 YR OLD'S BEAUTIFUL CURLS!

[mamauv2]

Trust me Kiya, we are <<HERE>> and I can really speak on it because of my newfound love for ME and everything that makes me ME. Never been happier and want to shout if from the rooftops! But I guess not here...maybe I'll make some fliers after work!

 

[PinkSkates]

Thank you thank you...
My white SIL asks me to press my nieces hair when she was only 4 years old. And at first I was upset, and getting ready to preach to her about leaving her type 3 hair alone. But before I could say anything, my SIlL said, "...you know since you get your hair so silky straight with that metal comb, I thought you could do the same for Malia" (my niece.)
...needless to say, I shut my mouth, stepped down off my soap box and pressed my nieces hair.

Originally Posted by JustKiya
Dang, I wanted to quote what you said, because I thought it was really insightful - where, I wonder, are these non-black women getting these ideas about their half black childrens hair from, I wonder?
I'd suspect it's the black half of the family that makes more of a to-do than the white side..... just from seeing the different reactions black adults have to natural hair on grown women vs the reactions most non-black adults (who have NOT been exposed to black people/hair issues) have.

*shrug*

Until we believe we can 'deal' with our hair, ain't nobody else even gonna try.

 

[SparklingFlame]

*grin* I feel you, I do.

I always find it - interesting, shall we say - how the threads on the deeper issues/thoughts we have around our hair, our skin color, and our blackness, as a whole, always deteriorates into arguing, sarcastic emoticon use, 'white people do......' tangents and warnings of a thread getting locked.

Always.

Cuz they always do!

 

[Kayluv]

why are people so astonished and pissed when a child gets a relaxer? If a relaxed head is properly cared for it will thrive!! Like another poster said the relaxer aint the devil it is bad hair care practices

I co-sign. Why is this mom being judged? She made a decision for her and her child.

 

[asummertyme]

Lets not go there today.

We all know how this is gonna turn out.

I know thats right.....seen it all b4 too many times...

 

[DreadlockedLady0171]

*grin* I feel you, I do.

I always find it - interesting, shall we say - how the threads on the deeper issues/thoughts we have around our hair, our skin color, and our blackness, as a whole, always deteriorates into arguing, sarcastic emoticon use, 'white people do......' tangents and warnings of a thread getting locked.

Always.

Because a lot of the time these threads do get locked.
IRL unless you are having this conversation with someone who sees eye-to-eye with you, it may very well end up the same way. At least in my experience...(arguments)
We don't want to deal with our deep issues regarding hair, skin color, and our Blackness because it will bring out some things that we don't want to deal with or analyze. Some of us, dare I say it, think that everything is all good and that we don't need to rehash that stuff anymore because it is the past.

 

[hazeleyez82]

This is very sad.She is much to young for chemicals. A fiver year old she be in braids and pony tails.Parents really should take more time to take care of childrens hair rather than taking what seems to be the easy way out but the only thing you can do is take care of your own child. As her daughter gets older she will have to correct her mothers mistake.

 

[Kayluv]

For me this is a debate of choice.. My mom didn't believe in children getting relaxers. She is from the old school south. Also, my hair was a softer wavier grade, so it wasn't a super problem..but back in the day it was waist length..many moons were spent washing detangling..fighting with me...trying to get that hair right.

I can say the women in my family do view it is as laziness..but on my mom's side..most of the girl children had the same manageable hair type..so they didn't have to deal with it being kinky..so they could say..oh don't give children relaxers and use their little water bottles to make the hair curl up all cute.

That being said, I made the decision to relax my own hair at age 18. My mom told me know you know it ain't no playing around with chemicals right..and I had to vow to maintain it. Allowances were to be spent on touch ups..etc..and she made sure I knew it was a committment. I personally feel like making that choice for a child is something that I would not do. Just like ear piercing. I'm not piercing my baby's ears until they're old enough to come to me and say.."mama I want my ears pierced"..I know it is an unpopular view. My mom pierced mine at 2 mos old.. But I think the child (when they're old enough and capable...) should have a say in what's going on with their bodies.

My mom pierced my ears when I was a few days old. I turned out o.k. No big deal. But I feel where you are coming from.

 

[SparklingFlame]

Because a lot of the time these threads do get locked.
IRL unless you are having this conversation with someone who sees eye-to-eye with you, it may very well end up the same way. At least in my experience...(arguments)
We don't want to deal with our deep issues regarding hair, skin color, and our Blackness because it will bring out some things that we don't want to deal with or analyze. Some of us, dare I say it, think that everything is all good and that we don't need to rehash that stuff anymore because it is the past.

Yep!

Its alllllllllll in the past!!

 

[JustKiya]

Because a lot of the time these threads do get locked.
IRL unless you are having this conversation with someone who sees eye-to-eye with you, it may very well end up the same way. At least in my experience...(arguments)
We don't want to deal with our deep issues regarding hair, skin color, and our Blackness because it will bring out some things that we don't want to deal with or analyze. Some of us, dare I say it, think that everything is all good and that we don't need to rehash that stuff anymore because it is the past.

And you know what the really sad part is? You are totally right - the root causes of these issues are mostly in the past, true. But until we can get over ourselves and deal with and analyze it and bring them kicking and screaming into the light of honesty - we'll continue to insure that we drag those selfsame issues into the future with us, because we'll keep teaching our kids - by our actions and reactions, even if our words say something different - the same ish. *sigh*

 

[GOD]

Before this gets ugly, 1. The mama's hair is, get this...CURLY! Not 3b/c, more 3a and extremely thick. 2. I know her like that to be able to offer an opionion and I DID ask her if it was ok before I gave her any advice. 3. People ALWAYS got something to say about my daughter's hair, good and bad. I had it pressed once for an event and everyone thought I relaxed it and was doggin me like you wouldn't believe. They don't like that I tuck her ends under instead of letting them hang, the beautician was mad because I never took her back and was telling me how my daughter's hair was gonna do this and that and that it should be pressed every three weeks...SO, been there, done that and it didn't bother me ONE BIT! WHY? Because I did research to make sure the decisions I was making for my daughters hair were what was best for HER now and in the long run.
We're obviously not going to agree so no point in trying to make me see it your way. I won't. And you obviously won't see it mine.

not trying to take it "there", and i dont disagree that 5 years old is probably on the young side, but at at the same time, people are turning this into a racial argument when it doesn't seem appropriate...the perm vs natural part is just the front, IMO...people really got an issue with the mom not desiring the natural afro-hair her daughter has.

people are forgetting the kid is bi-racial, both black and non-black, so its only natural for the non-black side to want their kid to look like them...even in non bi-racial families, theres always a tug of war between the mom and dad trying to claim features in the kids as originating from their side of the fam...so not everything is boiling down to "she hates black people" or shes got something against blacks or afro hair....if the mom were so racist she probably wouldn't have had a bi-racial child.

 

[tatiana]

....if the mom were so racist she probably wouldn't have had a bi-racial child.

Ha. That's not true about the racist part. I know quite of few non-blacks (men and women) that can't stand blacks in general but have married blacks and have biracial children.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Double Post

 

[SignatureBeauty]

....if the mom were so racist she probably wouldn't have had a bi-racial child.

Ha. That's not true about the racist part. I know quite of few non-blacks (men and women) that can't stand blacks in general but have married blacks and have biracial children.

This makes no sense at all, I know it happened in slavery days, but why marry and have kids with someone you can't stand because of their race?

 

[BeetleBug]

[/color]


This makes no sense at all, I know it happened in slavery days, but why marry and have kids with someone you can't stand because of their race?

It happens sometimes. I have heard of white mothers calling their biracial children n*ggers. I know a white woman that loves black men and hates black women. I just chalk up to a lack of common sense.

 

[Dposh167]

It happens sometimes. I have heard of white mothers calling their biracial children n*ggers. I know a white woman that loves black men and hates black women. I just chalk up to a lack of common sense.

oh lawd no...lets not get on that subject. ive seen that situation too many times and it burns me up. But u right...it happens

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

Very good point!

Maybe not, tho. We all know that this hatred of the kink comes from the white mainstream. Ever see a co-host on CNN with kinky curls? I know of people who have made ridiculous comments about Black peoples' hair...with no shame. If anything, the man having a bi-racial Italian child with 3a/3c hair was probably an "improvement" in his eyes. It think it's the mother who didn't want to deal with her daughter looking so, uh, well...uh, Black? I sure hope not.

I know of people who adopted Black children, white parents. They actually spoke with their pediatricians about how to care for their hair. They sought out Black pedidatricians and other Black people who could help them and they read up on haircare. I can't even use Mizani. It's so strong. I'm wondering if she neutralized it. I couldn't imagine giving any child a chemical process for the first time and you'd never done it for yourself.

 

[TaurusAngel]

Why is relaxed always thrown into the category of not knowing or losing your identity or not wanting to embrace your ethnicity? Its just a relaxer for some.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

It happens sometimes. I have heard of white mothers calling their biracial children n*ggers. I know a white woman that loves black men and hates black women. I just chalk up to a lack of common sense.

That is so sad! But I guess it doesn't surprise me. Nothing nowadays.

 

[klowdnyne]

....backing away from some of the issues raised

My mom decided I needed a relaxer at 10. Like someone posted earlier I was thrilled not to have my ears burned by the pressing comb anymore, but my experience was not a good one. I feel that there are some sections of my hair/scalp that were permanently damaged. Because of my experience, I decided that if I have a daughter I will not let her get a relaxer at (what I consider) an early age.

Even though I may not agree with the age at which some mothers relax their daughters' hair, I also realize that I ain't the one fighting to get some little girl's head combed.