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SHE RELAXED HER 5 YR OLD'S BEAUTIFUL CURLS!

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twinkletoes17 said:
My mom has carpal tunnel because of my hair as well as my two younger sisters' hair. I'm Nigerian so I guess you can say that's one of the reasons, maybe the main reason, my hair is coarse and resistant. I don't blame my mom. My hair was soft, long, and healthy until I started doing it! If the child's hair is healthy, then what's the fuss?
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I'm sorry but I can't think of ANY reasons why a 5 year old would need a relaxer for "straight" hair. Not one. I'm glad your hair was healthy it sounds like your mother practiced healthy hair prior to relaxing your hair. This mother does not and the child will surely suffer. If she did, she'd know that a relaxer does not fix moisture issues. In fact it sounds like she just wanted the child to have straight hair so she could play in it :look:
 
alabama said:
I'm sorry but I can't think of ANY reasons why a 5 year old would need a relaxer for "straight" hair. Not one. I'm glad your hair was healthy it sounds like your mother practiced healthy hair prior to relaxing your hair. This mother does not and the child will surely suffer. If she did, she'd know that a relaxer does not fix moisture issues. In fact it sounds like she just wanted the child to have straight hair so she could play in it :look:
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I don't see that either, and i didn't know that people would rleax a 1 year old and 5 years olds. I was relaxed at 8 and i didn't have a choice, all i thought was there must be something wrong with my hair and that straight hair was better. What is a 5 year old going to do with straight hair?...Usually the MAJORITY of the people that relax at that age by time they are 8 years old some of them don't have any hair. Usually most of the parents have no idea of how to take care of their child's hair in its natural state but yet what makes them think that they know how to take care a chemically processed head.
 
TaurusAngel said:
What about parents whose children are natural but get their hair pressed? I think its the same. If you teach your children right then they won't feel that way about themselves or their hair.
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If they press the children's hair i see no problem with that. When i was natural i only got my hair straigthen ONCE. All because i was going to be in my aunt's wedding and they were going to do a certain style so they straighten. OTherwise, it is not as drastic as a child ending up with scalp burns and then scab the next day(if they don't even know what they are doing). The hair will return back to its normal state when it gets wet, now if they do it daily, the child will end up with heat damaged.
 
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drjo91 said:
If they press the children's hair i see no problem with that. When i was natural i only got my hair straigthen ONCE. All because i was going to be in my aunt's wedding and they were going to do a certain style so they straighten. OTherwise, it is not as drastic as a child ending up with scalp burns and then scab the next day(if they don't even know what they are doing). The hair will return back to its normal state when it gets wet, now if they do it daily, the child will end up will end up with heat damaged.
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Exactly. It's not the fact of having temporarily straight hair on occasion - to me, that's a hairstyle. It's the matter of permanently changing the entire length to be something different. That - in my mind - goes beyond a mere 'style' into something else.......
But then, my stance on perms is pretty anti, anyhow.... :rolleyes:
 
mamauv2 said:
No matter how often I see it, no matter what we know, it still does something to me when I see it. I have nothing against relaxers. I feel, as long as it's a choice, for whatever reason, there's nothing wrong with it. I didn't have a choice and it wasn't until I became an adult that it even OCCURRED to me NOT to have a relaxer. I too was sucked into the "this is the only way" mentality and when the lightbulb finally came on, I was ANGRY, ANGRY, ANGRY! It's like learning to brush your teeth twice a day. You grow up doing it and it becomes second nature. When you do things to children that young, you're instilling something in them and you have to be careful what the message is you send. This little girl was known for her curls, that was her "thing" and her mother making such a drastic decision to change that, sent that little girl a signal, like something about her was inferior somehow. At that age through teen years, acceptance of self is important. SO, no "agenda" here against relaxers, a personal opinion against giving them to children though.
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it seem like u got an agenda though...u confronted the lady about it, which is something most ppl wouldnt do. now u are passing judgement about the decision, what products shes buying to maintain the hair, her poor reasons to send you off without being totally rude...i think we all know the lady just wants her daughter to have straight hair like hers...it aint rocket science, its a mother nature thing that many mom's want their daughters to be like them. the dad that should be the one thats stepping in, otherwise, you wouldn't want some lady buggin and passin judgement about the style ur kid was rocking, natural or straight.
 
Where is the dad in all of this? Doesn't he have a mother or sister or someone who could help set the mother right so that this poor child's hair doesn't fall out?
 
GOD said:
it seem like u got an agenda though...u confronted the lady about it, which is something most ppl wouldnt do. now u are passing judgement about the decision, what products shes buying to maintain the hair, her poor reasons to send you off without being totally rude...i think we all know the lady just wants her daughter to have straight hair like hers...it aint rocket science, its a mother nature thing that many mom's want their daughters to be like them. the dad that should be the one thats stepping in, otherwise, you wouldn't want some lady buggin and passin judgement about the style ur kid was rocking, natural or straight.
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Before this gets ugly, 1. The mama's hair is, get this...CURLY! Not 3b/c, more 3a and extremely thick. 2. I know her like that to be able to offer an opionion and I DID ask her if it was ok before I gave her any advice. 3. People ALWAYS got something to say about my daughter's hair, good and bad. I had it pressed once for an event and everyone thought I relaxed it and was doggin me like you wouldn't believe. They don't like that I tuck her ends under instead of letting them hang, the beautician was mad because I never took her back and was telling me how my daughter's hair was gonna do this and that and that it should be pressed every three weeks...SO, been there, done that and it didn't bother me ONE BIT! WHY? Because I did research to make sure the decisions I was making for my daughters hair were what was best for HER now and in the long run.
We're obviously not going to agree so no point in trying to make me see it your way. I won't.:ohwell: And you obviously won't see it mine.
 
This might be another thread topic but what is with women having racial mixed children and expecting their hair to turn out a certain way?

Who does that? Who sits around and hopes the hair turns out 2a instead of 4b?
 
She relaxed it because it was dry?:perplexed

I hope she takes good care of the new texture. I would hate to see a thread in 6 months saying how damaged it is.:nono:
 
MizzBrown said:
This might be another thread topic but what is with women having racial mixed children and expecting their hair to turn out a certain way?

Who does that? Who sits around and hopes the hair turns out 2a instead of 4b?
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:look: Black women who purposely marry men of other races/fair skinned black men for that reason.

Black grandmothers looking at their newborn grandchilds head and hoping it don't 'kink' up - and that ain't even gotta be interracial. :look:

If you have people who are so ashamed of their child's head they'll perm it once it's here so it'll 'match' their eyes - I'm not the least it surprised that pregnant ones are praying for curls/wave and not kinks. :rolleyes:
 
People keep saying it's fine as long as you learn how to take care of relaxed hair...but what's so hard about taking care of natural hair? Is washing it and putting it in a few plaits so difficult? No, it's not.

Even if the kid has waistlength hair...that's like shoulder-apl on an adult. Are you seriously that inept that you can't do a 5 year old's hair without the aid of a relaxer?
 
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^^LAWD, I can't win for losing! I'm against relaxing a child's head, 4b, 8c, period. I think it's wrong. Maybe I do have an agenda, but it's not against relaxers. More so against women who have biracial children and if their hair isn't like theirs, the automatically put it in the "black" category and write it off as difficult. THERE I SAID IT!:blush:
 
JustKiya said:
And the little girl was five years old? :look: Doubtful - and if it was, it wouldn't have gotten so long..... :rolleyes:
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It definitely wouldn't have gotten so long. People already said in this thread that they could understand if the child's hair was 4a/b but since she was 3b/c there was no reason for it.

That's what happens when it's "beautiful curls" at stake as opposed to "nappy kinks".
 
mamauv2 said:
^^LAWD, I can't win for losing! I'm against relaxing a child's head, 4b, 8c, period. I think it's wrong. Maybe I do have an agenda, but it's not against relaxers. More so against women who have biracial children and if their hair isn't like theirs, the automatically put it in the "black" category and write it off as difficult. THERE I SAID IT!:blush:
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I completely agree with you. And, I still think you would have started the thread, just that the responses would have been different. According to people on here and IRL as long as the hair is nappy it's ok to relax it.
 
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mamauv2 said:
^^LAWD, I can't win for losing! I'm against relaxing a child's head, 4b, 8c, period. I think it's wrong. Maybe I do have an agenda, but it's not against relaxers. More so against women who have biracial children and if their hair isn't like theirs, the automatically put it in the "black" category and write it off as difficult. THERE I SAID IT!:blush:
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But - but.... what does that have to do with being biracial? Black mama's do it ALLLLLLLL the time.....
 
Can she take care of it? For some reason folks just assume that straighter means easier...umm not when chemicals are involved. Chemically straightened hair is not the same as naturally straight hair, when will people get it?
 
mamauv2 said:
SHUT THE STUDIO DOWN!
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Dang, I wanted to quote what you said, because I thought it was really insightful - where, I wonder, are these non-black women getting these ideas about their half black childrens hair from, I wonder? :look:
I'd suspect it's the black half of the family that makes more of a to-do than the white side..... just from seeing the different reactions black adults have to natural hair on grown women vs the reactions most non-black adults (who have NOT been exposed to black people/hair issues) have.

*shrug*

Until we believe we can 'deal' with our hair, ain't nobody else even gonna try.
 
JustKiya said:
Dang, I wanted to quote what you said, because I thought it was really insightful - where, I wonder, are these non-black women getting these ideas about their half black childrens hair from, I wonder? :look:
I'd suspect it's the black half of the family that makes more of a to-do than the white side..... just from seeing the different reactions black adults have to natural hair on grown women vs the reactions most non-black adults (who have NOT been exposed to black people/hair issues) have.

*shrug*

Until we believe we can 'deal' with our hair, ain't nobody else even gonna try.
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Very good point!
 
JustKiya said:
Dang, I wanted to quote what you said, because I thought it was really insightful - where, I wonder, are these non-black women getting these ideas about their half black childrens hair from, I wonder? :look:
I'd suspect it's the black half of the family that makes more of a to-do than the white side..... just from seeing the different reactions black adults have to natural hair on grown women vs the reactions most non-black adults (who have NOT been exposed to black people/hair issues) have.

*shrug*

Until we believe we can 'deal' with our hair, ain't nobody else even gonna try.
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Enough Said:yep:
 
Sorry JK, I just really don't want to upset anyone else. I'm really a peacekeaper. I'm ALWAYS the one breaking up the fights at family gatherings! I didn't mean to offend anyone at all. My bad ladies.:sad:
 
mamauv2 said:
Sorry JK, I just really don't want to upset anyone else. I'm really a peacekeaper. I'm ALWAYS the one breaking up the fights at family gatherings! I didn't mean to offend anyone at all. My bad ladies.:sad:
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*grin* I feel you, I do.

I always find it - interesting, shall we say - how the threads on the deeper issues/thoughts we have around our hair, our skin color, and our blackness, as a whole, always deteriorates into arguing, sarcastic emoticon use, 'white people do......' tangents and warnings of a thread getting locked. :drunk:

Always. :rolleyes:
 
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