SHE RELAXED HER 5 YR OLD'S BEAUTIFUL CURLS!

[yuriko]

wow that is really young. But I really am in no place to judge.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

The Aveda stylist that flat ironed my hair in August told me that she relaxed her 4 year old's hair. I'm not surprised at this. A coworker at Aveda said that she was also relaxed as a small child.

 

[MizzBrown]

I wanna know more about this scalp formation thingy. Your scalp doesn't really come together til around age 13?

Explain that? That's interesting. I've never heard of it.

 

[smwrigh3]

I was relaxed at five (for the first day of school)... I don't see any problem with it if that is the mothers choice and she is willing to take care of it. I personally will let my child make that decision herself.

 

[Beauti515]

OMG 5 IS TOOOO YOUNG getting a relaxer is a big deal she should have tried different methods or taken her to a beautician the hair is the childs and she should have waited until she was older give her options and show her how it would turn out if not taking care of properly........ she is the the mom but she made the decision based out of conveince for her y not get it professionally straightened many other options many

 

[mariofmagdal]

My daughters hair was permed without my permission by my mom. She is also 5. Hence, I found this site and learned to care for a perm. Our 60 day update is posted in the childrens hair care section. She is not bald, and her hair has not broken off.

There will always be a difference of opinion, but the bottom line is caring for the hair. I learned to care for her permed hair, and her hair is doing lovely.

 

[SparklingFlame]

I wanna know more about this scalp formation thingy. Your scalp doesn't really come together til around age 13?

Explain that? That's interesting. I've never heard of it.

The sutures of your skull are not fully fused together until about age 13 or so.

This is what they are speaking of, the sutures and not the scalp.

 

[Beauti515]

I was relaxed at five (for the first day of school)... I don't see any problem with it if that is the mothers choice and she is willing to take care of it. I personally will let my child make that decision herself.

it is something wrong with it you get a relaxer at 5 and not taken care of ur hair means wearing weave to prom u see its a major deal all cousins and my sis that got them young their hair has never been the same never grew like it should have texture not the same y does a five yr old need a relaxer? bead it or pony tails
not to sound mean just showing example

 

[dlewis]

it is something wrong with it you get a relaxer at 5 and not taken care of ur hair means wearing weave to prom u see its a major deal all cousins and my sis that got them young their hair has never been the same never grew like it should have texture not the same y does a five yr old need a relaxer? bead it or pony tails
not to sound mean just showing example

Thats why the parent has to care for the hair. My daughter has been relaxed for 4 years and has waist length hair. We have had issues but we had issues before I relaxed her hair. My daughter has never worn weave.

 

[MrsQueeny]

Thats why the parent has to care for the hair. My daughter has been relaxed for 4 years and has waist length hair. We have had issues but we had issues before I relaxed her hair. My daughter has never worn weave.

Care is def important. B was 3 when I first relaxed her hair. She had hair like a grown woman at three, and was tenderheaded. Anyway, I felt bad about it shortly thereafter and she never got a touch up. I was transitioning her on my own and then found this site. Well it is 7 years later and her hair is past waistlength as well and super thick. We still have our struggles but it is getting better. Hindsight is 50/50 because I felt I did what was best. To me not having her in tears and afraid of the comb weekly was worth it to me back then. Now I am focused on my kids not only being natural but having healthy, hair they will love and be able to manage. It's still not easy and folks just don't know until they are in your shoes. Q

 

[DDTexlaxed]

My mom relaxed me somewhere between age 4-6 as well. She said she "just couldnt take it anymore!".

She hated spending hours in the kitchen every Saturday on wash day dealing with my hair.

I loved it. That meant no more burnt ears from the hot comb.

Totally the same with me except when my mom did my relaxers she relaxed my entire head each time. I never knew it was wrong until I joined LHCF. Funny thing was that my hair was long and the "envy" of others. It thrived although the practice was unhealthy. Perhaps it may work out for the better.

 

[Curlee_lurker]

Something mild for a young child instead of a harsh adult relaxer?

Kiddie perms still have the same ingredients.

Eh...her hair probably won't take to the relaxer actually. Most 3B, and 3B/3Cs here have had the same experience of it not really being relaxed. This just means she'll be forced to use heat if she wants her to wear it straight. I had a relaxer and was still getting old school stove presses and I was far from bald.

 

[twinkletoes17]

I was relaxed at 4 and my hair has never been less than SL. If she knows what she's doing then it's no biggie.

 

[nappystorm]

I don't agree with her perming the baby's hair but then again that's why I never had children so I wouldn't have to deal with hair.

I always said I would get a cut immediately if I give birth to a girl. There is no way I could deal with both her hair and mine.

 

[trenise]

I once heard that relaxing a little girl's hair could send her into puberty early. Have you all heard of this before? Is there any truth to this that you know of?

 

[mamauv2]

WELL, I went down there and her hair is dry, brittle and extremely thin so she's got her work cut out for her. I showed her how to keep it moisturized, gave her some products from my stash. Told her the no-no ingredients and told her about the importance of sealing and protecting the ends. She seemed a little overwhelmed. I know she feels bad but I hope she takes my advice. If she continues to relax, at least now she has information however she seemed more concerned with her wearing her hair out and straight so I forsee heat, heat and more heat. I told her to roller sets instead and told her the next month, she has to be a deep conditioning fool! I'll keep you updated.

 

[nappystorm]

I once heard that relaxing a little girl's hair could send her into puberty early. Have you all heard of this before? Is there any truth to this that you know of?

That may explain why some of my students had double d's and a butt like Deelishis before starting their cycles...carry on

 

[SparklingFlame]

I once heard that relaxing a little girl's hair could send her into puberty early. Have you all heard of this before? Is there any truth to this that you know of?

I never heard that but I have heard that feeding little girls beef and chicken can send them into puberty early.

 

[trenise]

I never heard that but I have heard that feeding little girls beef and chicken can send them into puberty early.

That must be because of the hormones. Maybe organic farm raised would be okay.

 

[Ramya]

WELL, I went down there and her hair is dry, brittle and extremely thin so she's got her work cut out for her. I showed her how to keep it moisturized, gave her some products from my stash. Told her the no-no ingredients and told her about the importance of sealing and protecting the ends. She seemed a little overwhelmed. I know she feels bad but I hope she takes my advice. If she continues to relax, at least now she has information however she seemed more concerned with her wearing her hair out and straight so I forsee heat, heat and more heat. I told her to roller sets instead and told her the next month, she has to be a deep conditioning fool! I'll keep you updated.

Please excuse my ignorance but what the hell does a 5 year old need straight hair for? She's 5 what's her hair supposed to be doing anyway?

 

[mamauv2]

**shrugging** I wish I knew...

OT, Alabama, WHEN are going to put pics in your fotki?! Your hair is gorgeous and I'm running out of fotki's to stalk!

 

[Ramya]

**shrugging** I wish I knew...

OT, Alabama, WHEN are going to put pics in your fotki?! Your hair is gorgeous and I'm running out of fotki's to stalk!

I've been meaning too but there's really not a lot to look at right now I do have some photos I need to upload though. Soon

 

[Menina Preta]

This is something I will NEVER EVER agree with or understand. 5 years old is a BABY. What's next? Dying her hair because you always wanted a blonde child? Children's scalps are much more sensitive than ours. The thought of putting something in my child's head that could burn them, blind them, destroy their hair is darn right abusive to me.

And this has nothing to do with my social beliefs about relaxers and black children.


*waiting on the day we start perming our male children's head.*

I agree! I'm relaxed, but I doubt any child of mine will see a relaxer till they're 12 or 13. I had to suffer with my tenderheadedness, the plaits, the baubles hitting you in your face when you run, the comments from the "boys" and the fuzzy corn rows when my mom was too tired to have them redone. That builds character, LOL.

Thank you.

Random but still on topic...there was a woman reported to DCFS because she relaxed her kindergarten daughter's hair and it caused scalp burns, scabs, pus, etc. I can't remember but it was either a teacher or a family member that reported her.

That's good for her. If you don't know what you're doing, don't try to relax.

I once heard that relaxing a little girl's hair could send her into puberty early. Have you all heard of this before? Is there any truth to this that you know of?

Yes, I have heard this. Apparently, relaxers have estrogen in them and exposure to it increases one's likelihood of entering puberty earlier. Also, many products targeted to women of color have hormones in them, i.e. placenta shampoo, the placenta conditioner, etc. Those are a big no-no. They are now doing studies to see if there is a link btw. hair chemical exposure and breast cancer in hair stylists who cater to women of color, as high levels of estrogen exposure has a link to cancer.

I did notice that the girls who started menstruating first (like 10 or so) in middle school had perms, and my natural (till 12) self did not start till 14. Who knows...

 

[drjo91]

I think some of US are missing the point. Relaxing a child at 5 and not giving them a choice wether to stay NATURAL OR RELAX. If you relax a child at 5, what message are you telling her? That straight hair is better and that there must be something wrong with their hair so thats why they had to relax. Yes, is the child's mother but it is also ok to dye a child's hair at 5? or something that drastic. Its like i seen mothers bleach their kid's skin at 5, so is thats OK because thats her CHILD, and she can do whatever she pleased...IF DONE CORRECTLY the child will not grow up thinking that his dark skin is ugly and he won't grow up with self steem issues.

 

[cluelezz]

I work at a daycare center and there was a 5 y/o with a relaxer. Her hair was beautiful though. It was thick, shiny and had swang to it. It was MBL too. I thought it was a weave first. I was all up in that little girl's scalp. I personally wouldn't have gone that route, but with education, it's not always bad.

 

[Prose Princess]

I think I was about 7 or 8 when I got my first relaxer, and I personally wish that my mother had waited until I was at LEAST 13 to make that decision for me. I really feel like my hair would have been healthier at this point if she had. So, I think what your neighbor did was a horrible thing. I don't mean to sound like I'm bashing my own mother's parenting skills, at the time she was a successful businesswoman and she most likely did it to save time on my hair so she could continue providing for the family.

But I have (I'm guessing here, cuz I don't actually know) 4b hair. That little girl has 3b/c hair. It can not be that hard to manage. There is no way that she was worn out from taking care of her little girl's 3b hair after five years. I don't care what nationality she is, she should have done more research or asked somebody who knew what they were talkin' about before she went and did something that drastic so soon that could possibly lead to serious hair problems for her daughter down the road. I guess it's not too late, she can still keep her daughter's hair healthy, but if she didn't have the motivation to take care of her daughter's natural hair, it's not lookin' too good for her now that she's relaxed. That's so disappointing to hear.

 

[asummertyme]

Shoot, that ain't a stretch. My friend relaxed one of her daughter's hair right when she turned 2.

woooww.......

 

[asummertyme]

I just feel so happy and that I have learned how to deal with natural and processed hair over the years..I am really excited to start the journey with my DD with her hair care..My mom didnt know how to deal with my hair when i was a kid..in turn she cut it while i was screaming and crying for her not too...As a result, i learned how to deal with my own texture. very young, and it was a hit and miss for many many many yrs. lots of bad weaves..tight braids..bad relaxers and horrid bleach jobs..but with the the help of the net and this board and others, I have really learned to appreciate my tresses..and I cannot wait to instill that into my DD..I used to blame my mom for giving me hair issues..but, I can not blame her forever..parneting does not come with a handbook..she had so many issues I am sure hair was not on the top of her list...so I let it go..maybe this lady who relaxed her 5 yrs olds hair, will do a great job in caring for it...hopefully so..

 

[*fabulosity*]

For me this is a debate of choice.. My mom didn't believe in children getting relaxers. She is from the old school south. Also, my hair was a softer wavier grade, so it wasn't a super problem..but back in the day it was waist length..many moons were spent washing detangling..fighting with me...trying to get that hair right.

I can say the women in my family do view it is as laziness..but on my mom's side..most of the girl children had the same manageable hair type..so they didn't have to deal with it being kinky..so they could say..oh don't give children relaxers and use their little water bottles to make the hair curl up all cute.

That being said, I made the decision to relax my own hair at age 18. My mom told me know you know it ain't no playing around with chemicals right..and I had to vow to maintain it. Allowances were to be spent on touch ups..etc..and she made sure I knew it was a committment. I personally feel like making that choice for a child is something that I would not do. Just like ear piercing. I'm not piercing my baby's ears until they're old enough to come to me and say.."mama I want my ears pierced"..I know it is an unpopular view. My mom pierced mine at 2 mos old.. But I think the child (when they're old enough and capable...) should have a say in what's going on with their bodies.

 

[*fabulosity*]

I just feel so happy and that I have learned how to deal with natural and processed hair over the years..I am really excited to start the journey with my DD with her hair care..My mom didnt know how to deal with my hair when i was a kid..in turn she cut it while i was screaming and crying for her not too...As a result, i learned how to deal with my own texture. very young, and it was a hit and miss for many many many yrs. lots of bad weaves..tight braids..bad relaxers and horrid bleach jobs..but with the the help of the net and this board and others, I have really learned to appreciate my tresses..and I cannot wait to instill that into my DD..I used to blame my mom for giving me hair issues..but, I can not blame her forever..parneting does not come with a handbook..she had so many issues I am sure hair was not on the top of her list...so I let it go..maybe this lady who relaxed her 5 yrs olds hair, will do a great job in caring for it...hopefully so..

Your daughter's lil puffs are toooo cute! She is ADORABLE.. keep doing what you're doing! After I get married and get some babies.. I'mma gonna be all up in the children's hair care board..lol.