• ⏰ Welcome, Guest! You are viewing only 2 out of 27 total forums. Register today to view more, then Subscribe to view all forums, submit posts, reply to posts, create new threads, view photos, access private messages, change your avatar, create a photo album, customize your profile, and possibly be selected as our next Feature of the Month.

Spinoff: Does the mixed question offends you?

⏳ Limited Access:

Register today to view all forum posts.

Register Log in
nappystorm

nappystorm

Well-Known Member
If so, why? I get this question all the time and I never saw what was so offensive about it, however, I have witnessed people getting totally chewed out for asking this question. I have also noticed people asking if I minded and/or saying don't get offended but...I always wondered what was the big deal.
 
If I'm only asked once...NO, but if the person is persistent in trying to prove that I must be mixed, I do get annoyed.

One of my male coworkers has a habit of asking me if I'm mixed. I say no, then he's like, are you sure?...you might have indian in your family :nono:

He didn't get the hint til I told his *** off.
 
I, personally, don't get offended by the question, but I will ask, in a non-confrontational way, of course, what is it exactly that makes a person think I might be mixed, especially if the answer solely lies in hair. I ask out of genuine curiosity because I like to know what goes on in people's head, anyway. Now, like LadyK said in her post, if people just INSIST, then it does become annoying and offensive.
 
Not really. It's a legitimate question. It's just that some people assume that you're mixed automatically and then try to tell you what you are. That get's kind of irritating but overall I kind of take it as a compliment. Most people associate being multiracial with having healthy, pretty hair (though we know that's not always the case). So really I guess they are trying to give us a compliment (but in a strange way). I know this because when I tell them "no, I'm not mixed" they usually say something like "you've got nice hair".
 
I'm so obviously not mixed that no one has ever asked me that. I don't know if I'd find it offensive.
 
I think that being asked if I'm anything other than black gives me the one up. It helps me feel superior to every other regular black.
 
Nope, I get it all the time. I'm not mixed with white, my daddy is Jamaican. But aren't we all mixed? You can't get black from white, but you can get white from black (you know what I mean?) The truth is we are just beautiful and come in an array of colors and textures. White women actually envy us and our hair (among many other attributes). They should be asking those pale women if they are mixed. They go get curly perms, dye their blonde hair darker, get cornrows on their island excursions... oops :ot:
 
It is more annoying than anything. I grew up in predominately white midwest where the one drop rule reigns supreme. If you were half white with blonde hair and had the slightest tinge of color/ethnicity, or anything but aryan type features, you were considered NOT WHITE. So it was pretty rare that people would ask you if you were mixed.

It started happening to me after I moved to the DC suburbs and would commute by metro to HU. I had gotten a close cropped cut and was natural. 99.9999999% of the time it was dudes on the street trying to holler or be simple, or people who were lost and wanting to ask questions in languages they assumed I should speak.

My SO asked me on the sly when we first started dating if I were mixed. I went to bite his head off and he said "being from NY Well I know plenty of biracial people who are darkskinned and you are light, so it is not a such a stretch for me to wonder about you." In time he saw family pics so he knows what my makeup is and Thank God he doesn't have that complex so we haven't any more of those discussions.
[Love that man:grin:!!]

I think I get offended when I do because although I do have some "other" in my recent family history I am proud of all of my heritage. Sometimes it feels like a slap in the face, or like people really want you to deny/disrespect your heritage to fit in with their misinformed ideas. I cut for my family, so I do tend to take it more personally than maybe someone else would. I was raised with a strong sense of Black pride, so the ignorant comments aren't doing anything for me, but let me know where someone's head is at. Usually it's not in a good place.

I need to go to bed:yawn: I am gonna be hurtin when it is time to get up.
 
Up until recently I was not offended but recently that has changed. I am so proud to be from two black parents but no more or less than if I were from anyother race of parent. I love who I am and how I look and I love the fact that my race of people can come in many different colors. I think we in this forum are trying to prove that black women can grow long beautiful hair and yet some of you think it gives you a one up on another black to be thought of as something your not. You cant choose who you are from moment to moment so try being You.

I am light complexioned and have hazel eyes so I have to prove to the blacks I am black and I have to prove to everyother race that both my parents are black.

I don't see that as a one up on anyone.
 
I dont get offended.

I just think its sad.

It shows how our people have a lot of self hate. When they see someone of their own race doing something "different" ie long hair, they think you must be mixed up with another people to be able to do it. :nono:
 
It doesnt offend me.. I'm actually excited when people ask me about my heritage because I love to talk about it... black, Dominican, Indian, Irish, and Cape Verdean!
 
danigurl18 said:
It doesnt offend me.. I'm actually excited when people ask me about my heritage because I love to talk about it... black, Dominican, Indian, Irish, and Cape Verdean!
Click to expand...

So you're not 100%? People are taking their pens out and marking you off for hair tips.:lachen:
 
even though i do have immediate racial mixing im never asked this question! lol It doesnt bother me either way. i actually find the notion quite hilarious!
 
Napp said:
even though i do have immediate racial mixing im never asked this question! lol It doesnt bother me either way. i actually find the notion quite hilarious!
Click to expand...

It doesn't bother me either. My daddy is from Jamaican and is mixed with all kinds of stuff but he's black to me and so is my mom. Thus, I'm black. I don't claim nothing below .5.
 
Honestly, If people would ask if i was mixed with Indian, i wouldn't be upset, but i always get Asian and i'm like, where the heck did that come from? But if asked once, no, but if they were persistent, i would tell them to stop asking me because its annoying.
 
Im not offended to be asked if I am mixed, it's more the reason why they ask me that might be offensive, especially that second " are you sure" question is kind of annoying. :ohwell:
 
I don't get offended when asked; I figure that that person doesn't know any better. I DO like however when a person asks "Where are you from?" since I'm caribbean and that gives me a chance to talk about my heritage...since I don't live near family anymore:nono:
 
ive neve rbeen asked because I dont "look" mixed but if someone asked me just because my hair was long, I'd be offended. like stillalady said, its like your hair can only grow if your not 100% black. thats sad.
 
I get offended . I lived in California most of my life and had long hair. No one ever question me or my mother. Moved to DC in my mid twenties and got that question from everyone. My hair is pulled back nobody asked. My hair is down and the whole world wanted to know. CAN'T A BLACK WOMEN HAVE BEAUTIFUL HAIR WITHOUT BEING MIXED?
 
nappystorm said:
If so, why? I get this question all the time and I never saw what was so offensive about it, however, I have witnessed people getting totally chewed out for asking this question. I have also noticed people asking if I minded and/or saying don't get offended but...I always wondered what was the big deal.
Click to expand...

I don't know if I get offended, but I get slightly...annoyed so to speak because most black people are mixed. Most of us aren't straight from Africa in the U.S (although I know there are some that are). So what? We've decided to call ourselves black, so who determines who is "mixed?" It seems to me the only ones asked this question are lighter complexion. I can say that because of my experience. My mother and father are both "mixed" but in the south you were "colored" and their parents marched and sung we shall overcome with the rest. And so anyways we're black. My mom will say that adamently. As for mixtures: My mom is really light skinned with red hair. Not red in the bottle, red since the day she was born and was often teased and called "little white girl". Back ground: Her dad was half white and black (his mom had the red hair), other side? My grandmom is Native American Cherokee. On my dad's side: His dad is Black, his mom is black and cuban. So why am I giving you the background, because most people in this country are mixed. What do I look like? Black. What does my brother (full blood not half brother) look like? Mixed. He's light skinned with hazel eyes, and I'm brown with dark brown hair and dark eyes. I say this because of what I hear from others. Only when I take my hair down does someone ask me if there's something else in me. It's like hair trumps color! But I do think someone with short hair who is really light will be called mixed. So I roll my eyes because people will say I'm black but my brother's mixed and we have the SAME parents. So it just seems to me as a way for people to do the whole paper bag system all over again (like in the south in church's...if you don't know ask and I'll tell you).
 
Last edited:
luckiestdestiny said:
I don't know if I get offended, but I get slightly...annoyed so to speak because most black people are mixed. Most of us aren't straight from Africa in the U.S (although I know there are some that are). So what? We've decided to call ourselves black, so who determines who is "mixed?" It seems to me the only ones asked this question are lighter complexion. I can say that because of my experience. My mother and father are both "mixed" but in the south you were "colored" and their parents marched and sung we shall overcome with the rest. And so anyways we're black. My mom will say that adamently. As for mixtures: My mom is really light skinned with red hair. Not red in the bottle, red since the day she was born and was often teased and called "little white girl". Back ground: Her dad was half white and black (his mom had the red hair), other side? My grandmom is Native American Cherokee. On my dad's side: His dad is Black, his mom is black and cuban. So why am I giving you the background, because most people in this country are mixed. What do I look like? Black. What does my brother (full blood not half brother) look like? Mixed. He's light skinned with hazel eyes, and I'm brown with dark brown hair and dark eyes. So I roll my eyes because people will say I'm black but my brother's mixed and we have the SAME parents. So it just seems to me as a way for people to do the whole paper bag system all over again (like in the south in church's...if you don't know ask and I'll tell you). So it just makes me sad because who cares. So that's my story.
Click to expand...

I grew up in Louisiana "Home of the Mulattoes" and in that state color is very much an issue. It is what it is. Color hasn't really affected me like some people but its clearly an ongoing problem in our community but its going to take some time to go away...thats if it ever does.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

envybeauty
Long hair ladies: when did you START to get the mixed question?
Replies
20
Views
4K
Nice & Wavy
Nice & Wavy
nyeredzi
How To Answer Question "what Do You Use On Your Hair?"
Replies
23
Views
3K
Saludable84
S
chebaby
no offense
2
Replies
48
Views
7K
trenise
T
C
Phyto Users... quick question
Replies
14
Views
2K
*C00KIE*
C
naturalglory041490
KGB "Natural Hair extensions"
Replies
26
Views
6K
dachsies_rule!
dachsies_rule!
Back
Top