Don't you HATE this?

[PuffyBrown]

Okay,
So I am at work. I rarely wear my hair out but lately because I am in a hurry I have been wearing my hair down to work and pin it up before I start working.

Anyhoo, there is a woman I work that I have known for years. She typically has about APL hair. Well she got her hair cut about six months ago so my hair is just a little longer than hers. Mind you she flat irons her hair, and I don't so I would probally be even longer if I got a retouch and flat ironed it.

Well everytime lately she has been breaking her damn neck to look at my hair. Yesterday, I could just feel her eyes burning in my back. She is giving me the impression that she wants her hair to grow out long before mine. I mean like what the &*#? Who gives a shyt. Get the &&& up out of my head. She is always talking hair..she never did this before she cut hers off. Yesterday she was like oh...I can't wait until my hair grows back, you know how I usually wear my hair, right? I'm like ummhummm.

people that do simple shyt like this get on my damn nerves! Grow the h3ll up! I am in my damn 40's and she is damn near 30. It caught me by surprise. Talk about something important about how black folks can finally get together and treat each other right...or God, or college, what do you want to be when you finally grow up? I need some intellectual stimulation here...dam.....

 

[Pheonixx]

LOL....

Well I'd think she was staring because your hair looks good.
Tryna see what you do to yours.

A healthy-lookin head of hair is still a healthy looking head of hair...bunned or not.

 

[Miamori]

what do you want to be when you finally grow up?

funny.

 

[sowhut]

OMG! LOL!

I am running into this more and more lately! It is sooooo wack and pathetic!!!

 

[ladylibra]

don't act surprised... there are people on this board who voiced similar sentiments as your co-worker. some people are just like that.

or, maybe it's not that she wants hers to grow back first... but that she just wants it to grow back period and she's having trouble doing it. and she sees your progress and wants some help, but doesn't quite know how to go about it? of course you can judge her behavior better since you see it and we're just going off of a short description you gave online.

 

[Eclass215]

I do hate that. I have a friend with long hair and we went to this party one time and the first thing she said was "There's a girl here with hair longer than mine " I was like "Yeah, soo......" And she was really upset!!! Like some people only have hair to fall back on, so if you take that away from them, they have nothing and feel worthless. It's sad.

 

[Irresistible]

don't act surprised... there are people on this board who voiced similar sentiments as your co-worker. some people are just like that.

or, maybe it's not that she wants hers to grow back first... but that she just wants it to grow back period and she's having trouble doing it. and she sees your progress and wants some help, but doesn't quite know how to go about it? of course you can judge her behavior better since you see it and we're just going off of a short description you gave online.

You said it first, I was gonna say it too

yup there are ladies right here on this board that think/act the same way, this mentality doesnt occur only IRL its right here in our own back yard too

 

[~*Tigget*~]

lol

But from what you said about her behavior it does seem competitive. I have family members like this. Even w/ trying to lose weight, everytime I turn around they compare their weight to mine. Not in an encouraging way, but in a malicious way.

Don't go off on her, but maybe you should voice it to her how you feel. I have learned if we continue to sweep things away thinking they will disappear, its wrong. It only gets worse because not only will they keep coming back w/ this drama but you will be defensive because you haven't put them in their place. Get some boundaries set. Be straight up, ask her, are you wondering how I keep my hair growing and beautiful. Call her out on it.

 

[krikit96]

Honestly, I think you may be over reacting a bit... if you are in your 40's and she's in her 20's, maybe that's all she feels she has to talk about w/you is hair...she's young! She may just like your hair and want hers to grow back... maybe she had some kind of issue and HAD to do a chop... Maybe her self-worth is in her hair... which is sad...
IDK, but it didn't sound like she was trying to have her hair BEAT you to some kind of length... just that she maybe misses her hair and likes yours... I'd take it as a compliment... And if she really IS hatin' - refer back to Jill Scott's song! )

 

[leona2025]

Ok I'm guilty. I do this. If I see some one with pretty hair. I will stare and stare and stare. It can be long or short and I will just stare because I would really like to compliment them on their hair. I do admire pretty hair and I would like to just run over and discuss their reggie, but you know I would probably come off looking crazy. One girl actually asked me what the he** was I looking at and I was like dang am I that obvious. I be trying to do the sideways look out the corner of my eye thing.

 

[loulou82]

I do hate that. I have a friend with long hair and we went to this party one time and the first thing she said was "There's a girl here with hair longer than mine " I was like "Yeah, soo......" And she was really upset!!! Like some people only have hair to fall back on, so if you take that away from them, they have nothing and feel worthless. It's sad.

IA. Hair can be a very important part of someone's identity and can be a confidence booster to them. Especially if they've always been known as "the girl with the long hair". Add to that the insidious myth that AA's cannot grow their and if can be upsetting if some else takes their "crown".

 

[~*Tigget*~]

Ok I'm guilty. I do this. If I see some one with pretty hair. I will stare and stare and stare. It can be long or short and I will just stare because I would really like to compliment them on their hair. I do admire pretty hair and I would like to just run over and discuss their reggie, but you know I would probably come off looking crazy. One girl actually asked me what the he** was I looking at and I was like dang am I that obvious. I be trying to do the sideways look out the corner of my eye thing.

 

[indefinite]

Honestly, I think you may be over reacting a bit... if you are in your 40's and she's in her 20's, maybe that's all she feels she has to talk about w/you is hair...she's young! She may just like your hair and want hers to grow back... maybe she had some kind of issue and HAD to do a chop... Maybe her self-worth is in her hair... which is sad...
IDK, but it didn't sound like she was trying to have her hair BEAT you to some kind of length... just that she maybe misses her hair and likes yours... I'd take it as a compliment... )

I totally agree!

 

[glam-]

Ok I'm guilty. I do this. If I see some one with pretty hair. I will stare and stare and stare. It can be long or short and I will just stare because I would really like to compliment them on their hair. I do admire pretty hair and I would like to just run over and discuss their reggie, but you know I would probably come off looking crazy. One girl actually asked me what the he** was I looking at and I was like dang am I that obvious. I be trying to do the sideways look out the corner of my eye thing.

Me too, I saw a woman on metro this morning, she got on the same stop I did, and this is the 2nd time I've seen her there. Last time I ended up sitting behind her and I couldn't stop staring at her hair. It is gorgeous- so healthy, thick, beautiful and it has a nice length, too. What I really marveled at is that her hair is colortreated and probably relaxed, yet it is obviously very healthy. I colored my natural hair a few years ago and I still find it a challenge to keep the colored parts moisturized (When I colored my relaxed hair ) So, I kinda want to know her secret (who does her color, what is her regimen), but I don't want to seem like a hairstalker.

(So, if you're an LHCFer and you were on the New Carrollton train at about 7:28 am- your hair is really pretty)

 

[PuffyBrown]

No, I have known her for years. She loves attention and she wants to be the "center" of attention. She sneers if someone else gets a compliment. She doesn't need any hair advise because she takes care of her hair. Im not thinking about her, Im just saying....really, that gets on my dang nerves...

don't act surprised... there are people on this board who voiced similar sentiments as your co-worker. some people are just like that.

or, maybe it's not that she wants hers to grow back first... but that she just wants it to grow back period and she's having trouble doing it. and she sees your progress and wants some help, but doesn't quite know how to go about it? of course you can judge her behavior better since you see it and we're just going off of a short description you gave online.

 

[PuffyBrown]

Oh no....
I would never take anything that seriously. I think it is funny because I am making her squirm. Im off today. Im going to start putting it up before I go int the building and see her reaction....sorry yall, Ima have fun with this one...

lol

But from what you said about her behavior it does seem competitive. I have family members like this. Even w/ trying to lose weight, everytime I turn around they compare their weight to mine. Not in an encouraging way, but in a malicious way.

Don't go off on her, but maybe you should voice it to her how you feel. I have learned if we continue to sweep things away thinking they will disappear, its wrong. It only gets worse because not only will they keep coming back w/ this drama but you will be defensive because you haven't put them in their place. Get some boundaries set. Be straight up, ask her, are you wondering how I keep my hair growing and beautiful. Call her out on it.

 

[PuffyBrown]

No baby, not over reacting and her being in her 20's is an eggageration, I am pretty sure she is in her early 30's was taking an eductated guess when I wrote this. She is somewhere in that 29 -30 something rage...(shes got a dang daughter in college), that defines her age.

Anyhoo, age is not the issue because their are silly women who are older, you should hear some of the stories my mom brings home from work. I wrote this because age is not ther real issue because even if she is 20 somthing AND because I have known her for so long I know she is going on one of her little tantrums. Im not upset about this at all, I am posting this because I know there are some other folks that have seen this and now we fixin to talk bout it...

Honestly, I think you may be over reacting a bit... ifyou are in your 40's and she's in her 20's, maybe that's all she feels she has to talk about w/you is hair...she's young! She may just like your hair and want hers to grow back... maybe she had some kind of issue and HAD to do a chop... Maybe her self-worth is in her hair... which is sad...
IDK, but it didn't sound like she was trying to have her hair BEAT you to some kind of length... just that she maybe misses her hair and likes yours... I'd take it as a compliment... And if she really IS hatin' - refer back to Jill Scott's song! )

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

i must admit that I sometimes stare real hard when I see someone with amazing hair, great outfit, or some other quality I want. I can see how someone might confuse it with jealousy but I'm actually admiring and trying to see how I can rock the style in the future.

 

[Stella B.]

Honey, don't worry about her. She's peeping and looking because your hair looks so good to her, even if she doesn't say it! If she could copy you, she would. Take it as a compliment, because like my mother use to say, imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery!

 

[PuffyBrown]

I thik a lot of people do this, but lets compare this to this peroson that I am talking about. We worked a anothr company together. There were two other girls their and they both had really really really long hair and it was beautiful. Well if someone complemented them she would be like, oh you didn't say that to me. She would spend the whole day with them talking and when they were off work, she would sit there gossip and put all of their business in the streets.

When I see people with long hair, I look too, but I am not sneering my nose at them or trying to find something negative to say about them out of slander.

Ok I'm guilty. I do this. If I see some one with pretty hair. I will stare and stare and stare. It can be long or short and I will just stare because I would really like to compliment them on their hair. I do admire pretty hair and I would like to just run over and discuss their reggie, but you know I would probably come off looking crazy. One girl actually asked me what the he** was I looking at and I was like dang am I that obvious. I be trying to do the sideways look out the corner of my eye thing.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

I thik a lot of people do this, but lets compare this to this peroson that I am talking about. We worked a anothr company together. There were two other girls their and they both had really really really long hair and it was beautiful. Well if someone complemented them she would be like, oh you didn't say that to me. She would spend the whole day with them talking and when they were off work, she would sit there gossip and put all of their business in the streets.

When I see people with long hair, I look too, but I am not sneering my nose at them or trying to find something negative to say about them out of slander.

OK well that is better context. She is probably a hater. But I would still take it as a compliment

 

[CenteredGirl]

Age does not define maturity. Ignore. It's her problem. Obviously she has "issues".

 

[PuffyBrown]

Not sure of any issues but she is very spoiled and sometimes she thinks that the outside world should be "replacing" her parent. She'll get by...its just one of my pet peeves...

Age does not define maturity. Ignore. It's her problem. Obviously she has "issues".

 

[leona2025]

I thik a lot of people do this, but lets compare this to this peroson that I am talking about. We worked a anothr company together. There were two other girls their and they both had really really really long hair and it was beautiful. Well if someone complemented them she would be like, oh you didn't say that to me. She would spend the whole day with them talking and when they were off work, she would sit there gossip and put all of their business in the streets.

When I see people with long hair, I look too, but I am not sneering my nose at them or trying to find something negative to say about them out of slander.

I don't think it has anything to do with hair. This lady sounds like she'd probably sneer and be jealous of any compliment anyone gives someone other than herself. I'm so glad that I am not the only one with a staring problem, lol. Before LHCF I never really noticed healthy hair. I only noticed long or straight.

 

[sowhut]

lol

But from what you said about her behavior it does seem competitive. I have family members like this. Even w/ trying to lose weight, everytime I turn around they compare their weight to mine. Not in an encouraging way, but in a malicious way.

Don't go off on her, but maybe you should voice it to her how you feel. I have learned if we continue to sweep things away thinking they will disappear, its wrong. It only gets worse because not only will they keep coming back w/ this drama but you will be defensive because you haven't put them in their place. Get some boundaries set. Be straight up, ask her, are you wondering how I keep my hair growing and beautiful. Call her out on it.

Thats how i took it too.
Maybe because i know in my own experience it is definitely competitive

 

[ladylibra]

No, I have known her for years. She loves attention and she wants to be the "center" of attention. She sneers if someone else gets a compliment. She doesn't need any hair advise because she takes care of her hair. Im not thinking about her, Im just saying....really, that gets on my dang nerves...

I thik a lot of people do this, but lets compare this to this peroson that I am talking about. We worked a anothr company together. There were two other girls their and they both had really really really long hair and it was beautiful. Well if someone complemented them she would be like, oh you didn't say that to me. She would spend the whole day with them talking and when they were off work, she would sit there gossip and put all of their business in the streets.

When I see people with long hair, I look too, but I am not sneering my nose at them or trying to find something negative to say about them out of slander.

ah see... this is what i mean. from your original post, i gave her the benefit of the doubt... but YOU know her IRL. and from this other info you gave... yeah she just has issues. and i DO hate that mess...

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Yeah girl... I know what you mean!

I have this childhood "friend" of mine who I've known for YEARS! She used to always do stuff like this. When we were younger, her hair was always a bit longer than mine (about shoulder length). She was always so proud to say how she was "40% black 40% white, and 20% hispanic" or some other such nonsense. Meanwhile, I'm half African-American/Half African. Not that this matters.

ANYWAY...as the years went by, I kept taking good care of my hair and trying to do what is good for it. Meanwhile, her hair keeps getting shorter and shorter, and breaks off because she doesn't take care of it! I even tried to show her some tips I've learned on this board to help take care of her hair, but she didn't want to hear any of it! Anytime she would see my hair out or down (now longer than hers) she would always say: "Oh girl... I just cut my hair! I just had to cut my hair" Yeah riiiiiight.... I have yet to see her hair as long as it was even when we were little kids! I don't know why people always feel like they have to say something about their hair when they see your hair looking decent, or looking nice.

I also have another friend who's a co-worker, and we would talk about hair a little bit. She had been through a lot the past few years and apparently her hair had "fallen out". So now days when she sees me she's like: "Oh...I'm so GLAD my hair is finally growing back!! I'm soooo glad!!" Again I'm thinking.... Okay, what's the point in saying that out loud when you see me?? I'm not saying anything about your hair.

I just dont' understand people sometimes... I don't think I'm making anyone feel self-conscious about their hair. I'm not doing or saying anything! I'm just minding my own business, and trying to take care of my hair the best way I know how.

 

[the_UnPrettiest_pretty]

Pay her no attention and keep doing what you do................she's just jealous.

 

[Poohbear]

Well everytime lately she has been breaking her damn neck to look at my hair. Yesterday, I could just feel her eyes burning in my back. She is giving me the impression that she wants her hair to grow out long before mine. I mean like what the &*#? Who gives a shyt. Get the &&& up out of my head. She is always talking hair..she never did this before she cut hers off. Yesterday she was like oh...I can't wait until my hair grows back, you know how I usually wear my hair, right? I'm like ummhummm.

I don't see how you got that impression from her (that she wants to grow her hair out long before yours). She just said she can't wait until her hair grows back after she got that hair cut. She didn't say she was in a hair growing competition with you.