ARE RELAXERS GOOD FOR YOU?

[The Savvy Sistah]

I like the way you put that Isis!

I went natural in 05 because I had dry damaged hair that never grew past shoulder length. I wanted to start from scratch and learn the proper way to take care of my hair and now i'm APL. (I've never been here before)

But when I wear my wigs and weaves they are usually straight because that's what I like and I like the way I look.

And now with all this knowledge I've learned as soon as I meet by goal I know for sure I'm going to texlax and wear it straight often.

What I'm trying to say is I never hear relaxed ladies on this board talk about ladies with twists, locs or fro's. We all compliment each other, and I think alot of naturals have inspired many to go natural and many relaxed ladies have inspired others to texlax and relax.

How do you feel when you look in the mirror sistah's? Whether you rock a short blond fro, or a relaxed bob... there's no right or wrong. It's about what works for you and what makes you feel good about yourself.

 

[aloof one]

The proper use of relaxers result in hair as beautiful, healthy and as long as the person desires it to be. It can also be done at very little monetary expense. Besides myself, there are many ladies here with long, healthy, beautiful thick hair who use relaxers, some for many years.

I wholeheartedly agree that it can be a good thing. But I am not for them (at least for myself) until I see that everyone or most or even half the people who use them do it right.

There are ladies here with great relaxed hair.. but IRL we can't pretend that even half the girls with perms have healthy hair like that. These women on this site are the minority.. That is why weave is becoming just as popular if it hasn't passed up relaxers already. Its sad that we have this stigma of damaged hair that needs to be covered with a weave or permed to death or combed out and abused, etc but thats all we see. Black women for the most part are struggling with relaxers (and don't want to admit it most of the time too)--- if we weren't there wouldn't be an LHCF or stylists claiming they can grow our hair out. But we do, and there are. When relaxers are safe and people are educated about them, I won't say they're unhealthy, but as long as women are walking around with the same length hair for years because of relaxers... well Ill just have to wait.

I wasn't bald when I was relaxed. In fact, I was APL and my whole family envied my hair. But I can honestly say even now with a CHI iron and no relaxer in it, my hair straightens, swings, and shines better than before. It hasn't been processed, so it can handle more. But that isn't the case for everyone (even though I'm sure it is for most but folks don't know it) and I understand that.

Do I think one is better than the other? Of course I do.
Am I going to say relaxed heads should all transition? No. If it works for you keep it up cause you know what you're doing. We all know sodium hydroxide is bad regardless of how straight it makes your hair. But if you can keep it on your head and have it look right who am I to tell you to stop?

In a perfect world IMO, we would all know our textures before our mommas permed our hair, and decide to straighten it later in life. But for the most part, that is not the case. So some women will never know. All some will be able to compare is scab hair or the illusion of "nappy unmanageable hair" so I don't think its fair for a lot of people who have never even seen their real texture (since they were relaxed since being a toddler) to even use that line. Its only more manageable to get a touchup because your ends are already permed. You don't know what it would be like to be all natural so you can't make that comparison. But if your hair looks good relaxed and you know how to take care of it, good for you. Just because I think it would be better to be natural doesn't mean I hate people for relaxing. After all, I used to love how my hair felt relaxed... for the first day or so, at least.

I just love finding out what I really look like even more if you get what I mean.

 

[Isis]

I wholeheartedly agree that it can be a good thing. But I am not for them (at least for myself) until I see that everyone or most or even half the people who use them do it right.

There are ladies here with great relaxed hair.. but IRL we can't pretend that even half the girls with perms have healthy hair like that. These women on this site are the minority.. That is why weave is becoming just as popular if it hasn't passed up relaxers already. Its sad that we have this stigma of damaged hair that needs to be covered with a weave or permed to death or combed out and abused, etc but thats all we see. Black women for the most part are struggling with relaxers (and don't want to admit it most of the time too)--- if we weren't there wouldn't be an LHCF or stylists claiming they can grow our hair out. But we do, and there are. When relaxers are safe and people are educated about them, I won't say they're unhealthy, but as long as women are walking around with the same length hair for years because of relaxers... well Ill just have to wait.

I wasn't bald when I was relaxed. In fact, I was APL and my whole family envied my hair. But I can honestly say even now with a CHI iron and no relaxer in it, my hair straightens, swings, and shines better than before. It hasn't been processed, so it can handle more. But that isn't the case for everyone (even though I'm sure it is for most but folks don't know it) and I understand that.

Do I think one is better than the other? Of course I do.
Am I going to say relaxed heads should all transition? No. If it works for you keep it up cause you know what you're doing. We all know sodium hydroxide is bad regardless of how straight it makes your hair. But if you can keep it on your head and have it look right who am I to tell you to stop?

In a perfect world IMO, we would all know our textures before our mommas permed our hair, and decide to straighten it later in life. But for the most part, that is not the case. So some women will never know. All some will be able to compare is scab hair or the illusion of "nappy unmanageable hair" so I don't think its fair for a lot of people who have never even seen their real texture (since they were relaxed since being a toddler) to even use that line. Its only more manageable to get a touchup because your ends are already permed. You don't know what it would be like to be all natural so you can't make that comparison. But if your hair looks good relaxed and you know how to take care of it, good for you. Just because I think it would be better to be natural doesn't mean I hate people for relaxing. After all, I used to love how my hair felt relaxed... for the first day or so, at least.

I just love finding out what I really look like even more if you get what I mean.

Black women with natural hair also struggle with it, as we see on this board. It's another reason for coming to LHCF which deals with all hair types, issues and techniques.

There are black women here with healthy, long, thick natural hair too. Whether one chooses to wear their hair natural or relaxed they can have the exact result they desire, with the proper knowledge and a positive frame of mind. Women, as you stated, "who are walking around with the same length hair for years because of relaxers" are, IMO actually walking around with the same length for years because of a lack of education on how to care for their hair. Also, not all women want to care for their hair.

Personally, I admire the beautiful manes I see here and IRL, both natural and relaxed. I believe one method is not superior over another--it's all a matter of choice and preference.

 

[aloof one]

Black women with natural hair also struggle with it, as we see on this board. It's another reason for coming to LHCF which deals with all hair types, issues and techniques.

There are black women here with healthy, long, thick natural hair too. Whether one chooses to wear their hair natural or relaxed they can have the exact result they desire, with the proper knowledge and a positive frame of mind. Women, as you stated, "who are walking around with the same length hair for years because of relaxers" are, IMO actually walking around with the same length for years because of a lack of education on how to care for their hair. Also, not all women want to care for their hair.

Personally, I admire the beautiful manes I see here and IRL, both natural and relaxed. I believe one method is not superior over another--it's all a matter of choice and preference.

I can wholeheartedly agree with that. I hadn't even thought of it that way, some folks just don't care lol I forgot to consider my roommate. There are some naturals who could use help too.

I have my preference, and I respect that other folks have theirs.

 

[SleepyJean]

Relaxers arent like vitamins or fruit

On the other thread, i think some ladies were saying that they didnt think their relaxed hair was unhealthy Not that the actually relaxers was healthy for their hair like a deepconditoner or that it was healthy for their body like it was benefitting them


Of course no-one is going to think relaxers are "good for them".


I dont think relaxers are good for your health
But i also dont think they are "AS BAD" as some people think.

I also think their are waaaay worse things.


ETA---the poll just seems worded for a favaroble outcome--nobody in their right mind thinks relaxers are actually "good for them"

I agree with the bolded. Sometimes you lhcf girls state exactly what I'm thinking in a much more coherent and eloquent way. Thank you.

There should have been an "It is my preference" answer choice.

 

[MoMo]

The proper use of relaxers result in hair as beautiful, healthy and as long as the person desires it to be. It can also be done at very little monetary expense. Besides myself, there are many ladies here with long, healthy, beautiful thick hair who use relaxers, some for many years.

Thank you for your insight...you know what you are talking about.

 

[SleepyJean]

The Black Hair Care Industry in a $4 billion a year industry...

what do you think would happen if Black Women stopped

getting relaxers... I'm just saying...

someone should Michael Moore the industry... get enlightened ya'll.

I think you're connecting your bad relaxer experiences with everyone else's. I'm sorry, but I feel like your carping people online for no reason.

Some people choose to relax, because they want to. They don't not to be enlightened. I'm pretty sure most lhcf women know about the dangers. If used properly, though, I don't think it does harm. Let it go.

 

[shtow]

erplexed

 

[DayStar]

I don't know why I entertained it... guess I was bored at work. Just the facts, I challenge... no I DARE anyone to name one health benefit of using relaxers... I bet you can't, but I can name about 50 reasons why not using them is a healthier choice that's why I started a blog for transitioners, naturals, and people with open to the idea of going natural... since I'm off from work... and since I make too much damn sense... I'm done with this thread forever. ((DUCES ))

if that isnt arrogant..

 

[shtow]

I don't know why I entertained it... guess I was bored at work. Just the facts, I challenge... no I DARE anyone to name one health benefit of using relaxers... I bet you can't, but I can name about 50 reasons why not using them is a healthier choice that's why I started a blog for transitioners, naturals, and people with open to the idea of going natural... since I'm off from work... and since I make too much damn sense... I'm done with this thread forever. ((DUCES ))

uh huh. riiiiiiiight, but u will be back to read the responses. You should work at work instead of starting threads that are offensive.

 

[OneInAMillion]

What a mean-spirited, arrogant thread. Please ladies do not say/think now this is what naturals do, this is how they think. Please remember this is a thread started by the OP and the OP alone.

ITA with your comments! The thread certainly was arrogant. I think most of us are aware that most natural black women don't spend their time worrying about this .

 

[hopeful]

ITA with your comments! The thread certainly was arrogant. I think most of us are aware that most natural black women don't spend their time worrying about this .

Thank you.

 

[Forever in Bloom]

I got tired of watching and decided I just had to put my 2 cents and a peso in! Sorry if this is too long.

As a newbie, I hope things stay pretty kosher around here and don't escalate to the point of no return, 'cause there are too many issues in the world today to be arguing over stuff like this. Seriously, people. When I feel like I have been offended about my natural hair ('cause all I get from my mother is that my hair is "disturbing" and "ugly"), I know I can come to LHCF and Nappturality and get equal amounts of support and non-critical shoulders to lean on. I dig the supportive vibe. There's no point in letting this go any further. The OP did her peace out and the momentum hasn't ebbed at all.


I'm newly natural, but I no longer stress out how people choose to handle their hair when it comes to using relaxers vs. natural hair. I just had to learn to let it go. This is the Long Hair Care Forum. If you have or are aiming to have longer hair - and many of you have been successful in doing so - then you ladies must be doing something right.

I can understand how you relaxed ladies might feel offended. On Nappturality about 2 weeks ago, some unknown newcomer posted this long diatribe about the benefits of a relaxer. Of course we all flipped out. On a site geared to natural-haired sisters, it just wasn't appropriate. On this board, however, I guess strife is bound to happen. When you have two obvious groups trying to remain on peaceful territory by evading this topic, one group is bound to eventually snap when a mere 1 sentence question in the form of a poll response takes everybody out of their comfort zone. When it is brought to the forefront, our knee jerk reaction is to put on our gear and prepare for battle.

I believe if you speak things into your life, they will happen. Many of us can gain from your results that positive thinking is what made your hair flourish. I have been trying to preach to my mother about the "evils" of getting relaxers, but she always tells me, "I am not going to worry about stuff like that. I 'm gonna pray about it and go about my business 'cause the Lord is going to take care of me either way. This is how I like my hair". Oddly enough, if I repeated this back to her about my hair, she would think it was a load of bull crap on my part. That's another story...

Like myself, she made the decision to get a relaxer when she was 20, and I did so when I was 13. Neither one of us was prompted by our parents to do so. Honestly, my hair was doing fine with a relaxer until I took it upon myself to relax my hair mainly out of frustration. My stylist had my hair thriving, but I got tired of taking food, music, and other forms of entertainment to her shop only to wait 4 hours - and my head had still been left untouched! I am the one who caused my scalp to bleed and scab over from chemical burns, and as a result gain 2 lovely bald spots that finally grew back in.

Until I went natural, I thought my hair was unmanageable. I hadn't seen my hair since I was 13. I am now 26 and my hair was not like this...ever. It's 4a/3c texture (3c in the crown and nape - very weird). So, obviously my hair texture changed as I got older.

That was one of the reasons why I went natural - curiosity as to what my hair looked like, and because my nieces who are 5 and 6 have natural hair down to their waists like their mother - my sister. My sister washes/conditions their hair, plaits it up and leaves it alone. I remembered my hair growing faster when I left it alone. Since I was constantly fiddling with my relaxed hair, I figured this would be the best way to get my hair to grow longer - so I did the Big Chop. I started out with 1 - 2 inches of hair on December 6, 2007 and now have 3-4 inches of hair. (Yes, I have been using MTG )

I am a vegan, but unless you come to me interested in and wanting the knowledge about my decision not to eat anything that used to have a face erplexed, I won't hate on you 'cause you choose to eat meat. Frankly, that's none of my business. This relaxed vs. natural war may never end, but until then let's focus on the one thing that is important: both groups have proved themselves capable of growing long hair

 

[TaurusAngel]

^^^ I'm fairly new myself, and I agree with what u said. I read the entire thread and I agree to a certain degree. For a person to say that relaxers are just horrible and bad, in their own words, is really pushing it. I feel that if given proper care, relaxed heads are just as healthy as naturals. I for one have been both and I like relaxed better. With me being in school and away from home, i don't have the essentials to maintain a natural. But to say that relaxers are just wrong is not true. We all will do what we want to our hair regardless.

 

[PinkPeony]

What a mean-spirited, arrogant thread. Please ladies do not say/think now this is what naturals do, this is how they think. Please remember this is a thread started by the OP and the OP alone.

Thank you hopeful

 

[PinkPeony]

Black women with natural hair also struggle with it, as we see on this board. It's another reason for coming to LHCF which deals with all hair types, issues and techniques.

There are black women here with healthy, long, thick natural hair too. Whether one chooses to wear their hair natural or relaxed they can have the exact result they desire, with the proper knowledge and a positive frame of mind. Women, as you stated, "who are walking around with the same length hair for years because of relaxers" are, IMO actually walking around with the same length for years because of a lack of education on how to care for their hair. Also, not all women want to care for their hair.

Personally, I admire the beautiful manes I see here and IRL, both natural and relaxed. I believe one method is not superior over another--it's all a matter of choice and preference.

Yes I'am a perfect example of a formerly longtime natural that struggled with her hair.
Yes I was ignorant about my hair I never denied this but I too was walking around for years with the same length,desperate about the state of my hair and I was in no way better of then the relaxed ladies that are ignorant about haircare.
Coming here I finally realized that there is a way for black women to have healthy hair be it relaxed or natural.
None of the anti-relaxer threads ever made me consider giving being a natural a try again but what did and does inspire me are naturals that wear their hair healthy and proud,are truly stable and at peace with their natural hair,that offer advice and understanding rather then passing judgement.
Thanks to all those naturals that continue to extend their blessings to all of us

 

[Aggie]

uh huh. riiiiiiiight, but u will be back to read the responses. You should work at work instead of starting threads that are offensive.

AMEN to that shtow!!!

 

[Aggie]

I got tired of watching and decided I just had to put my 2 cents and a peso in! Sorry if this is too long.

As a newbie, I hope things stay pretty kosher around here and don't escalate to the point of no return, 'cause there are too many issues in the world today to be arguing over stuff like this. Seriously, people. When I feel like I have been offended about my natural hair ('cause all I get from my mother is that my hair is "disturbing" and "ugly"), I know I can come to LHCF and Nappturality and get equal amounts of support and non-critical shoulders to lean on. I dig the supportive vibe. There's no point in letting this go any further. The OP did her peace out and the momentum hasn't ebbed at all.



This is how I feel when I come to the board as well and get support from my LHCF sisters. The support is what keeps me going strong in my efforts to properly take care of my relaxed hair.

 

[Jazala]

When you have two obvious groups trying to remain on peaceful territory by evading this topic, one group is bound to eventually snap when a mere 1 sentence question in the form of a poll response takes everybody out of their comfort zone. When it is brought to the forefront, our knee jerk reaction is to put on our gear and prepare for battle.

It wasn't just this poll that sparked the lively debate. It was a series of posts by the OP over the last week or so.

 

[SparklingFlame]

What a mean-spirited, arrogant thread. Please ladies do not say/think now this is what naturals do, this is how they think. Please remember this is a thread started by the OP and the OP alone.

I agree Hopeful. Most nappies arent even thinking about if the next person is relaxing or not. Thanks for saying that.

 

[lisana]

I will quote the LHCFer when I find it...

she actually said relaxers were good for her hair...

give me a minute... or day... I'll get it.

Anyway, I think I made my point... or actually ya'll made it for me

((PUSHING MY AGENDA))

It's not good for you so why do it...

We shouldn't put it in or on our body if it's doesn't add anything

to our health. Have you read Dr. Oz's book? or Kevin Truedeau.

it's like SUGAR... sugar is bad for you but nobody wants

to stop using it because it's SOO GOOD right...

Sugar is more addictive than cocaine as demonstrated

by research... someone posted it in another thread...

same thing with relaxers... they are NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

I mean how long did it take for people to get that cigarettes were bad

that High Fructose was bad, that mineral oil was bad for hair

It's like you won't know it's bad for you until something really bad happens...

until you get smacked in the face with it...

until you read the research article about African- American hair stylists having

higher rates of cancer than any other race in that profession...

That's my point.

I'm not perfect though... just want you to see it... I'm not judging... I'm one applicator brush away from a touch up myself. Not really but you know what I mean. I'm not like anti-relaxer... well maybe a little... at the very least I think women should stretch at least 12 weeks. I'm not judging... I'm not Bishop SouthernTease... do what you want but if I at least made you think twice about it... I feel I've done my part. ((DUCES ))

You ain't half as enlightened or smart as you think you are, cus if yu wuz, you would've come up with a smoother, smarter approach that could of opened up a great dialogue.

Anyhooze, many women, if not most know the risk they take when they relax, this news ain't new. We dun heard it all, and have dealt with the arrogant know it all former relaxees who now think they the second coming of Moses. Insulting folks with thinly veiled holier than thou comments is a quick way to have a thread go down in flames

1. we know the risks
2. we take the risks cause we want straight and/or manageable hair
3. we know that a relaxer is not good for us in the sense that it adds to our health.
4. However, it is good for some of us because having our hair look a certain way makes us feel good about ourselves and that IS good for us.
5. Many of us who relax have some conflict, we know that it is not the all time solution for the rest of our lives, I myself have been natural and frankly, I prefer relaxed cause I like straight hair, but I do think about maybe returning back to natural, but I got to tell you, threads like your don't help me in that decision at all.

6. I could go on and on, so if you want to continue this, let me know.

 

[MissLawyerLady]

There are many ladies on the board who are natural and I admire their beautiful hair. Likewise there are many ladies on the board who are relaxed and I also admire their beautiful hair. At the end of the day, it is a personal choice to either be natural or relaxed. For me, my busy lifestyle will not allow me to be natural. I know my hair and I know that being relaxed is the most managable option for me. I respect the decision of naturals to be natural and relaxed ladies to relax. Aren't choice and freedom such wonderful blessings?

 

[Duchesse]

1. we know the risks
2. we take the risks cause we want straight and/or manageable hair
3. we know that a relaxer is not good for us in the sense that it adds to our health.
4. However, it is good for some of us because having our hair look a certain way makes us feel good about ourselves and that IS good for us.
5. Many of us who relax have some conflict, we know that it is not the all time solution for the rest of our lives, I myself have been natural and frankly, I prefer relaxed cause I like straight hair, but I do think about maybe returning back to natural, but I got to tell you, threads like your don't help me in that decision at all.

Broke it down so it will forever be broke!

 

[Lovelylocs]

What about people who color?

What about the burnt hair smell from the hotcomb?

 

[SparklingFlame]

What about people who color?

What about the burnt hair smell from the hotcomb?

Now you wrong for that!

 

[Traycee]

Broke it down so it will forever be broke![/quote

]

 

[fluffylocks]

You ain't half as enlightened or smart as you think you are, cus if yu wuz, you would've come up with a smoother, smarter approach that could of opened up a great dialogue.

Anyhooze, many women, if not most know the risk they take when they relax, this news ain't new. We dun heard it all, and have dealt with the arrogant know it all former relaxees who now think they the second coming of Moses. Insulting folks with thinly veiled holier than thou comments is a quick way to have a thread go down in flames

1. we know the risks
2. we take the risks cause we want straight and/or manageable hair
3. we know that a relaxer is not good for us in the sense that it adds to our health.
4. However, it is good for some of us because having our hair look a certain way makes us feel good about ourselves and that IS good for us.
5. Many of us who relax have some conflict, we know that it is not the all time solution for the rest of our lives, I myself have been natural and frankly, I prefer relaxed cause I like straight hair, but I do think about maybe returning back to natural, but I got to tell you, threads like your don't help me in that decision at all.

6. I could go on and on, so if you want to continue this, let me know.

I agree to every word.
Time for this thread to end though
I hope everyone learned something

 

[Aggie]

It wasn't just this poll that sparked the lively debate. It was a series of posts by the OP over the last week or so.

Okay, this might sound ignorant but what does OP mean?

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

Okay, this might sound ignorant but what does OP mean?

Original Post(er)

 

[wonderstar]

I don't care.........I've never used it before and I don't think it's healthy if a relaxer gets on your scalp. Relaxed hair can be very healthy but not so much the scalp over an extended period of time.