Any natural not feel attractive unless they straighten their hair?

[a_ caribbean_dream]

I want to know if I am the only person who feels this way. Maybe I should rephrase this.

I don't feel as attractive when my hair is in its natural state. I don't feel completely ugly or ashamed at all, its just not the same way I feel when my hair is straightened.

I'm not sure if it is a social stigma that has influenced this but I don't think its any type of self hatred or media influenced perspective.

Does anyone else feel the same, even if you don't what are your thoughts?

 

[SSBD]

I totally understand how u feel...it's not that i don't like it in it's natural state its just too short right now for me to feel sexy, but too long to look cute as a twa...so if i wear my hair out i wear it straight...

 

[dicapr]

I think it is only normal that if you wore your hair straight for X number of years your image of yourself being attractive is tied to straight hair. All your dressy, go to styles are perfecfted on straight hair. Your natural texture takes awhile to get used to. Also, your styling techniques on natural hair may be lessed to be desired. It took me awhile to get the hang of natural styles (I'm still learning) and to be honest, my hair did not look good when I did it. I reserved heat styling for special occations and kept practicing twists, twist outs, puffs, ect. I am now able to style my hair and feel attractive without straightening it. I do straighten on occation, but feel attractive both ways.

 

[poetist]

I have worn my hair and weaves straight for sooooooo long, that I basically identify with straight hair and never considered myself the "natural" hair type...whatever that is. I love my hair in its natural state, but have yet to feel as comfortable and attractive wearing it out as I do straighter styles. Also my DH has only seen me in straight styles and isnt really a fan of natural hair, so that also plays into my image of attractiveness. I know that I need to work on this because I am growing my hair out so that I can wear it and enjoy it. Since its natural, I know that it wont be healthy to constantly straighten it, so Ive gotta start perfecting some natural styles.

 

[meaganita]

I feel sexy wearing my hair in it's natural state...but moreso in a primeval way.

I feel sexy with straight hair in more of a traditional way....

 

[Miss*Tress]

I feel sexy wearing my hair in it's natural state...but moreso in a primeval way.

I feel sexy with straight hair in more of a traditional way....

I can so relate to this!

 

[schipperchow1]

Meaganita, that's an interesting perspective....

As for me, it depends on the style I'm wearing it in when it's in its natural state. I really like my braid outs...But as for the social part, I get so much more male attention/approaches when I wear my hair straightened that I can understand how one might feel more attractive when straightened. But for me, attractiveness/sexiness is a state of mind/being...and being comfortable with one's own personal style.

 

[londonjakki]

OP ..I know exactly what you mean...
My natural hair is big and sort of messy looking & I can never get it to behave unless I wear it pulled back, which does not look cute on me ...when my hair is pressed its easier to manage and looks glam....and I must admit I prefer the longer length with the press......
I will def. try braidouts when I stop with this wig challenge.....since I've learned soooo much from lhcf and peoples fotkis

 

[natstar]

I want to know if I am the only person who feels this way. Maybe I should rephrase this.

I don't feel as attractive when my hair is in its natural state. I don't feel completely ugly or ashamed at all, its just not the same way I feel when my hair is straightened.

I'm not sure if it is a social stigma that has influenced this but I don't think its any type of self hatred or media influenced perspective.

Does anyone else feel the same, even if you don't what are your thoughts?

I feel similarly. With my natural styles, they are sometimes cute, sometimes wild,most times a lil frizzy but still neat. When I straighten, I feel I get a little more attention. This could be because my natural styles are buns and twists that don't draw attention while my straighten style is flat iron with huge curls/waves that look sexier at times.

ETA- I agree w/Meaganita-

whenI wear braid out/twist outs- I feel attractive in a certain way vs my straighten hair which I feel more attractive to others in a traditional sense.

 

[ladylibra]

i do not share these sentiments, but i do understand them.

i feel sexiest with my natural hair, ever since i BC'd and really took a look at myself and realized, "wow i am pretty!"

my hair looked gorgeous last time i straightened it, but it frames my face differently when straight and i honestly prefer the big coily hair. it is nothing but preference because i know i looked good with my hair long and straight just like i do with it big and coily. and we're allowed to have our preferences!

 

[turnergirl]

I feel I am at my sexiest with huge, coily, kinky, messy hair. I guess it is all about perspective. Even when I had a relaxer I always wore huge rollersets with volume everywhere. I think I enjoy this look more than others.

It's like everyday I have this bedhead look that just screams sexy. My hubby loves it to. When I went through my phaze wear I was considering texturizing, he asked me if my hair was going to lose it's "hugeness" and curliness, I said maybe and then he began campaigning against it. I think it is sexy but you have to get used to it.

 

[tinkat]

I see what you mean bc straight hair is the norm and you may tend to get more attention with it straight...But I am realizing that I look good with both. I think natural hair fits me well.

 

[Bint Yusef]

I think that length has a lot to do with this too. Once your natural(unstretched) hair gets long and super long its pretty much on par with an even playing field as long straight hair.

 

[chocolatejalapeno]

Wow... i having been feeling really unsexy lately because of my hair. I love my natural hair but only when it is wet because of the curl pattern. When it dries up i feel unsexy because it looses the curl definition. I hate that I have to do my hair every week to look decent. Right now im in that I want to feel sexy so give my a dam flat iron to straighten my hair stage. I hope I can get out of it because i was thinking about a getting a perm for a hot min. but change my mind. I think that if my hair was longer i would enjoy it more. I have been natural for about 2.5 yrs and i am not really feeling the length that I have. I see people that have been natural for the same amount of yrs and they have both length and thickness. I have the thickness but not the length. I cant even pull my natural hair in a phony tail cause it is so short. I have not cut my hair very much.

 

[chocolatejalapeno]

I think that length has a lot to do with this too. Once your natural(unstretched) hair gets long and super long its pretty much on par with an even playing field as long straight hair.

I too agree

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I USED to feel this way when I first started on my natural journey. It is all in your mind hun. Try doing twist outs to give you a straighter curlier style so you are kind of in between the two hair states. I love to wear my hair natural and i love wearing in straightened. Either way, as long as my hair looks/behaves right, I am a-ok.

 

[halee_J]

I think that length has a lot to do with this too. Once your natural(unstretched) hair gets long and super long its pretty much on par with an even playing field as long straight hair.

Yes, I def agree I felt less attractive when I was natural mainly beacuae my hair was in a weird 'in between length'. I did not know what to do with it.Thats what motivated me to texlax a year ago, but I looooove my natural texture and thickness. I am now 12 weeks post and strongly considering transitioning back but without the BC to maintain styling options.....

 

[silvergirl]

its not the striaghtness that i like, but length.

once i get past underarm length unstretched ill be happy.

 

[Ms Lala]

I totally understand I used to feel that way when I first stopped relaxing, it took me about a year to get totally comfortable w/my new look. All I know is that even though I didn't think it was sexy then, plenty of guys did.

Now, I feel sexiest with a big twist out. It just really looks good on me and I feel like my hair is an accessory when I go out. I like my hair straight but it doesn't stand out, even when I straighten I try to leave it a little poofy cuz I just love big hair.

 

[Harmony0221]

i do not share these sentiments, but i do understand them.

i feel sexiest with my natural hair, ever since i BC'd and really took a look at myself and realized, "wow i am pretty!"

I actually said that recently after a wash and go. Lol
But overall I think I'm more attractive with my hair in it's natural state. I think it suits my face better, Once I learned what to do with it. And if I do wear it straight I like it with a lot of body and curls.

 

[babydollhair]

I actually like my hair in its natural state, what i find is other people find me more attractive with straight hair. I recently got my hair straighten and all my coworkers commented, many said i should keep it that way! I find however that i actually like my hair and myself either way!

 

[MissJ]

I can't say that I feel unattractive with my hair in its natural state.

 

[glamazon386]

I think that length has a lot to do with this too. Once your natural(unstretched) hair gets long and super long its pretty much on par with an even playing field as long straight hair.

I agree.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

its not the striaghtness that i like, but length.

once i get past underarm length unstretched ill be happy.

This is how I feel....need length for these natural tresses!

I love my natural hair, but I do love to wear it straight and since the Fall, I have been wearing it straight more often and both my dh and I love it.

 

[ladystar3]

I LOVE my natural hair, but it has taken me awhile to get to that point! Before I found LHCF, my natural hair used to frustrate and even terrify me! I didn't know what to do with it.

But for the past year, I've really learned to care for it and embrace it. BUT I will say that for YEARS, I've worn my hair straight and gotten so much attention that way. Ever since I have gone back to natural, the attention has waned. But I feel like a lot of that has to do with the shrinkage. I'm excited for my natural hair to gain some more length!

 

[ttlayli]

Girl I feel you. At first...up until a month ago actually...I would ONLY wear my hair straight...and if I didnt have the money to get my hair done again, I would not even wash my hair in order to keep it straight (sometimes a months time) . Once you get the hang of learning how to "style" your hair natural, it will be great!. I just learned a month ago! The oil-rinsing, no shampoo, conditioner leave in, and moisturizing with coconut oil, sealing with castor oil has helped me to do this. Now my curls dry less frizzy and more defined, so they "hang" more as opposed to all the shrinking. After all the oils, I let my hair airdry than fluff and "actually" style, meaning a cute side part and the front smoothed down, with the back big and curly or a cute big curly ponytail. The key for me is to let my hair airdry 90% THAN style. And to also care for my hair the same way I would if my hair was striaght, meaning to moisturize and seal nightly, followed by a silk bonnet to sleep in. Once you get the hang of your natural hair, you'll love the results!

 

[mscocoface]

I think that length has a lot to do with this too. Once your natural(unstretched) hair gets long and super long its pretty much on par with an even playing field as long straight hair.

I completely agree with this also. I love long, thick big hair. I liked it when it was relaxed and when I did press and curls so having it do the shrinkage mombo was a huge mental adjustment for me. (Truth be told still working on that one)

As it is getting longer and when I can get the length to show (thank you very much shrinkage!) then I am all good.

I realize I love length, length is good and it looks good on me. I am not a short haired person nor is my personality. So it makes my quest for healthy and long even more strong. I have the healthy down now just need to watch it grow, grow grow!

Now having the type of shrinkage that I have been blessed with, I have another hurdle to deal with.

I am telling you having natural hair and maintaining it has defintely been a character building exercise for me. As well as a major test of patience and fortitude.

 

[SoOoNY]

Well I have tried to go natural 4 times in the past 5 years.... I think I am gonna go all the way this time (maybe). One of my biggest issues is I love my hair curly... but I mainly wear it straight. And I cannot maintain the straight style. It always puffs up in 2 days... Its not that I don't like my natural look. I just like the sleek polished look when its straight... not that im more attractive... just more of a preference for me... and its less work to maintain it... I really don't want a perm cause of the chemicals but its so convenient... makes me feel better... guess thats why its the creamy crack.... Oh well... if its any help... I stalked some of your fotkis and curly or straight your hair looks BEAUTIFUL

 

[Zsazsa6275]

Most of the time, I feel cuter with straight hair. I have no hangups about my natural hair. I'm just a woman who is low maintanence when it comes to styling hair. I'm not creative at all! With my natural hair, it's in a clip or a ponytail. I look really young with my hair pulled up. I need to take the time to experiment and try to wear my hair out and free.

 

[MzTami]

I think that length has a lot to do with this too. Once your natural(unstretched) hair gets long and super long its pretty much on par with an even playing field as long straight hair.

oh sooooo true. I'm going on 2 years natural this coming March 2008, and it looks like I just BC.

I completely agree with this also. I love long, thick big hair. I liked it when it was relaxed and when I did press and curls so having it do the shrinkage mombo was a huge mental adjustment for me. (Truth be told still working on that one)

As it is getting longer and when I can get the length to show (thank you very much shrinkage!) then I am all good.

I realize I love length, length is good and it looks good on me. I am not a short haired person nor is my personality. So it makes my quest for healthy and long even more strong. I have the healthy down now just need to watch it grow, grow grow!

Now having the type of shrinkage that I have been blessed with, I have another hurdle to deal with.

I am telling you having natural hair and maintaining it has defintely been a character building exercise for me. As well as a major test of patience and fortitude.

I definitely agree with you too...Shrinkage is my major hurdle....