The Fake Hair "Stigma"

[koolkittychick]

Am I the only one who doesn't notice black women's hair like that in general? It seems like everyone is constantly studying our heads It's rather annoying.

Unfortunately, a lot of women seem to go out of their way to call attention to it. Wearing it super short one day, then coming in with 30" of blonde hair the next. Wearing something that looks more like a hair hat (or a dead animal) than a hair style. Sporting a texture/color/style that wouldn't occur in science fiction, let alone nature, and trying to pass it off as natural and/or cute. Do you really think people are supposed to not notice all that?

 

[Ogoma]

I would not group twist/braid extensions with wigs and weaves. I am not giving white people credit for twists and braids. The extensions are needed for the longevity of the style.

 

[DigitalRain]

Weaves are ok with me as long as they are done well.

I do admit I appreciate home grown hair a lot more.

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

OP..

Only women so things like this. We constantly tear each other down.

#byefelecia

But…doesn't this suggest that because of this ^^^ women think they have to fake having a certain type/length of hair, breasts, butts, etc…? I'm not a fan of fakeness, because I think it does suggest a certain amount of insecurity. I think it's sad that women feel the need to present a look they don't actually have--more to the point, a look that other people actually do have--to the outside world. It's almost like women--black women in particular--are walking around "in costume" every day. There is nothing "wrong" with how anyone really looks. The more people try to look like "an ideal," the less we can enjoy the diversity of how people actually look. Call me judgmental or hating or whatever, but I believe real beauty is real. I hate to see makeovers where the "big reveal" is a weave. It just screams "your hair is not good enough." Sorry.

 

[ckisland]

Unfortunately, a lot of women seem to go out of their way to call attention to it. Wearing it super short one day, then coming in with 30" of blonde hair the next. Wearing something that looks more like a hair hat (or a dead animal) than a hair style. Sporting a texture/color/style that wouldn't occur in science fiction, let alone nature, and trying to pass it off as natural and/or cute. Do you really think people are supposed to not notice all that?

Ugh I hate this!!! It's both tacky and embarrassing. Most women doing the wig/weave thing do draw attention to it. Their the ones I see standing around stroking it like the hair is a same blanket. Tends to be a give away. Also, why can't most women be reasonable about the length and volume. Wearing enough butt length hair to supply 3 people isn't cute, it's trying too hard.

But…doesn't this suggest that because of this ^^^ women think they have to fake having a certain type/length of hair, breasts, butts, etc…? I'm not a fan of fakeness, because I think it does suggest a certain amount of insecurity. I think it's sad that women feel the need to present a look they don't actually have--more to the point, a look that other people actually do have--to the outside world. It's almost like women--black women in particular--are walking around "in costume" every day. There is nothing "wrong" with how anyone really looks. The more people try to look like "an ideal," the less we can enjoy the diversity of how people actually look. Call me judgmental or hating or whatever, but I believe real beauty is real. I hate to see makeovers where the "big reveal" is a weave. It just screams "your hair is not good enough." Sorry.

Because thanks wasn't enough

 

[reeko43]

I think there are several issues that contribute to the "fake hair stigma".

1. Other races definitely wear extensions/wigs. However, they wear extensions that match their hair type. Black people rarely wear extensions that match their hair type. Can you imagine if a white woman with 2a hair wore a 4b textured weave with hair left out attempting to match the two and look natural? Can you imagine same person wearing a 4ab wig?

2. Wearing weaves/wigs is the rule, not the exception for black women. Simply overwhelming. As a whole, we definitely give the impression that we hate our hair. It is what it is.

3. The volume and quality of the weave hair used. Barbie doll looking hair enough to cover 5 heads? Seriously?

As with anything, people are judged by the many, not the few. There are people whose hair looks great but are lumped into the ever growing pool of bad fake hair ambassadors.

 

[Ogoma]

I think everyone has made really great points, but I think it is unfair to chide black women for living within the rules dictated by the world we live in. Black women are denigrated for our features, including by black men that have the same features!, and then denigrated again when we attempt to change those features to conform. We can't win.

Not everyone is willing, able or wants to rebel against society. Some just want to find as comfortable a space as possible and live. Some black women are comfortable bucking the trend and living outside society's norms, some are not. Some black women don't care what anyone thinks of their hair or their hair choices so educating non-black women is irrelevant to them. Some black women prefer to prioritize the love and acceptance of a partner over their choice of hair style. We are human and going to have human responses to standing in a crooked room. My spouse strongly supported my decision to go natural. I honestly cannot tell you, if he didn't, I would have chosen a hair style over him.

To paraphrase Melissa Harris-Perry, black women are standing in a crooked room and any which way we contort ourselves to be comfortable, we will be denigrated. No effort goes unpunished. We can't even rely on those that look closest to us for support.

I don't care what is on another black woman's hair. I will just let her live judgement free from me. Black women are rarely ever not judged so I am more than happy to withhold mine and hope to continue to be better at it.

 

[MileHighDiva]

Ogoma

For clarification, wearing your natural God given hair texture is rebelling against society?

Sent from my Speak & Spell using LHCF

 

[Ogoma]

@Ogoma

For clarification, wearing your natural God given hair texture is rebelling against society?

Sent from my Speak & Spell using LHCF

Yes, the society we live in that explicitly and implicitly lets us know our natural hair texture is either or all of these things: wild, untamed, unprofessional, ugly, rough, immature, anti-white, etc. The list goes on.

If I had a dollar for how many times I was told my hair was wild when I have it in a WnG in a very casual matter-of-fact manner, I would be rich. I am not invested in anyone's opinions so I it would not change my behavior, but I am not fond of rules or authority so "rebelling" suits my personality.

ETA: We have a thread in the relationship forum where women are concerned with "false advertising" if they meet a man with their hair straightened. I don't fault them at all. They did not come to this conclusion in a vacuum. Without anyone fully explaining, the vast majority of black women will implicitly get where they are coming from. They have heard the message and they, being human, are responding to it.

 

[reeko43]

I think everyone has made really great points, but I think it is unfair to chide black women for living within the rules dictated by the world we live in. Black women are denigrated for our features, including by black men that have the same features!, and then denigrated again when we attempt to change those features to conform. We can't win.

Not everyone is willing, able or wants to rebel against society. Some just want to find as comfortable a space as possible and live. Some black women are comfortable bucking the trend and living outside society's norms, some are not. Some black women don't care what anyone thinks of their hair or their hair choices so educating non-black women is irrelevant to them. Some black women prefer to prioritize the love and acceptance of a partner over their choice of hair style. We are human and going to have human responses to standing in a crooked room. My spouse strongly supported my decision to go natural. I honestly cannot tell you, if he didn't, I would have chosen a hair style over him.

To paraphrase Melissa Harris-Perry, black women are standing in a crooked room and any which way we contort ourselves to be comfortable, we will be denigrated. No effort goes unpunished. We can't even rely on those that look closest to us for support.

I don't care what is on another black woman's hair. I will just let her live judgement free from me. Black women are rarely ever not judged so I am more than happy to withhold mine and hope to continue to be better at it.

I agree with what you posted. Bottom line, however one decides to wear their hair, they should own it. I occasionally wear wigs and could care less about whatothers think about it. Heck, I have been criticized for wearing kinky hair wigs as opposed to straight ones. No one is ever satisfied.

I will say, however you wear your hair, at least do it right. Take the steps necessary so that your weave/wig is a personal statement and not a joke.

 

[koolkittychick]

I agree with what you posted. Bottom line, however one decides to wear their hair, they should own it. I occasionally wear wigs and could care less about whatothers think about it. Heck, I have been criticized for wearing kinky hair wigs as opposed to straight ones. No one is ever satisfied.

I will say, however you wear your hair, at least do it right. Take the steps necessary so that your weave/wig is a personal statement and not a joke.

I would have to agree with this. If you are going to conform to society's standards, as Oogoma states, at least put some effort into it. The one thing that I noticed about non-Black women who wear extensions is that they go out of their way to make such additions as undetectable as possible. If you are going that route, and do not have the time, money or effort to make your wig or weave believable and/or attractive, then you are better off working with what God gave you.

I was watching Blood Sweat and Heels over the weekend, and one of the bloggers on that show (Demetria I think her name was) admitted on the Watch What Happens Live show that came on after that she added pieces to her natural, highly textured 4z kinky hair for fullness when she was filming, and I wasn't mad at that, because you would never know because it matched her hair texture and color. In fact, all but one of the ladies on that show (I think it's Brie) use fake hair on that show, but it's perfectly acceptable because most of them do it well and admit they do it. They can claim they are doing what other races are doing; most other Black women cannot.

 

[ChristmasCarol]

This is not directed at you, OP, but this has been my observation for years.

I know tons of weave-wearers and:

A: They hate their real hair and complain that they weren't blessed with "good hair"

and/or

B: They are too doggone lazy to do their own hair

and/or

C: The hair underneath is a complete MESS.

Wearing weaves as a "protective style" is extremely uncommon outside of hair boards - and (get your stones ready) I honestly don't believe that women are simply "protective styling" 24/7 for years on end. If you've been protecting it for the past 6 years, the hair underneath should be TBL by now. I'm not seeing that with chronic weave-wearers. Yes, you will find a handful of women with super-long hair under weaves, but the vast majority will have less hair/edges than someone who simply grew out a BC for a few years.

We have serious issues with our hair, as a whole. I am starting to see 11/12 year old girls with weaves and wigs!

No, it's not like other races, IMO. I always wonder why White women are brought into the discussion??? So, if Becky wears weave (for whatever reason), that means overwhelming numbers of Black women can ignore or hate their own hair and wear hair that belonged to some other race with no pathology involved?

The stigma isn't with the fake hair, per se, but what it signifies.

*stepping off soapbox*

 

[koolkittychick]

This is not directed at you, OP, but this has been my observation for years.

I know tons of weave-wearers and:

A: They hate their real hair and complain that they weren't blessed with "good hair"

and/or

B: They are too doggone lazy to do their own hair

and/or

C: The hair underneath is a complete MESS.

Wearing weaves as a "protective style" is extremely uncommon outside of hair boards - and (get your stones ready) I honestly don't believe that women are simply "protective styling" 24/7 for years on end. If you've been protecting it for the past 6 years, the hair underneath should be TBL by now. I'm not seeing that with chronic weave-wearers. Yes, you will find a handfull of women with super-long hair under weaves, but the vast majority will have less hair/edges than someone who simply grew out a BC for a few years.

We have serious issues with our hair, as a whole. I am starting to see 11/12 year old girls with weaves and wigs!

No, it's not like other races, IMO. I always wonder why White women are brought into the discussion??? So, if Becky wears weave (for whatever reason), that means overwhelming numbers of Black women can ignore or hate their own hair and wear hair that belonged to some other race with no pathology involved?

The stigma isn't with the fake hair, per se, but what it signifies.

*stepping off soapbox*

THIS X10! How the hell is this okay when we are slapping this stuff on our kids? Since when do we have to "protective style" our children's hair???

 

[Ogoma]

koolkittychick

You need to watch the show Nashville. so distracting. The hair looks full until the shoulders and then three grouped waves stringing down. They need to fire the stylist because s/he does an awful job blending white hair with "white" extensions. Even the texture of the extensions look like wigs. Just thought of that show reading your comment. Between this forum and HD, TV watching is becoming an exercise in concentration.

My new motto is: live my life how I like and allow others the space to do the same.

 

[Destiny9109]

This is not directed at you, OP, but this has been my observation for years.

I know tons of weave-wearers and:

A: They hate their real hair and complain that they weren't blessed with "good hair"

and/or

B: They are too doggone lazy to do their own hair

and/or

C: The hair underneath is a complete MESS.

Wearing weaves as a "protective style" is extremely uncommon outside of hair boards - and (get your stones ready) I honestly don't believe that women are simply "protective styling" 24/7 for years on end. If you've been protecting it for the past 6 years, the hair underneath should be TBL by now. I'm not seeing that with chronic weave-wearers. Yes, you will find a handful of women with super-long hair under weaves, but the vast majority will have less hair/edges than someone who simply grew out a BC for a few years.

We have serious issues with our hair, as a whole. I am starting to see 11/12 year old girls with weaves and wigs!

No, it's not like other races, IMO. I always wonder why White women are brought into the discussion??? So, if Becky wears weave (for whatever reason), that means overwhelming numbers of Black women can ignore or hate their own hair and wear hair that belonged to some other race with no pathology involved?

The stigma isn't with the fake hair, per se, but what it signifies.

*stepping off soapbox*

True, a lot of these youtube weave and wig gurus hair usually look a hot mess when they do their "real hair updates"

 

[koolkittychick]

@koolkittychick

You need to watch the show Nashville. so distracting. The hair looks full until the shoulders and then three grouped waves stringing down. They need to fire the stylist because s/he does an awful job blending white hair with "white" extensions. Even the texture of the extensions look like wigs. Just thought of that show reading your comment. Between this forum and HD, TV watching is becoming an exercise in concentration.

My new motto is: live my life how I like and allow others the space to do the same.

I have never watched the show, but from the press I have read about it, that type of styling seems in line with the characters on the show. It is about country music performers being fake, conniving, and all around nasty/unlikeable people. So it makes sense that their hair would be as obviously fake-looking as the facade of their profession. Even Dolly Parton (a proudly avowed wig-wearer) has said many times that it "costs a lot of money to look this cheap." So you are doing no favors to Black women by implying that because characters designed to be fake on TV have obviously fake hair, we can get away with obviously fake hair in real life.

 

[Ogoma]

I have never watched the show, but from the press I have read about it, that type of styling seems in line with the characters on the show. It is about country music performers being fake, conniving, and all around nasty/unlikeable people. So it makes sense that their hair would be as obviously fake-looking as the facade of their profession. Even Dolly Parton (a proudly avowed wig-wearer) has said many times that it "costs a lot of money to look this cheap." So you are doing no favors to Black women by implying that because characters designed to be fake on TV have obviously fake hair, we can get away with obviously fake hair in real life.

Where did you get this from? I was responding to your comment that white women's hair never looks fake on TV with a funny observation. I have watched the show and, no, the bad blending is not intentional. None of them look or dress like Dolly Parton.

 

[Rocky91]

I think everyone has made really great points, but I think it is unfair to chide black women for living within the rules dictated by the world we live in. Black women are denigrated for our features, including by black men that have the same features!, and then denigrated again when we attempt to change those features to conform. We can't win.

Not everyone is willing, able or wants to rebel against society. Some just want to find as comfortable a space as possible and live. Some black women are comfortable bucking the trend and living outside society's norms, some are not. Some black women don't care what anyone thinks of their hair or their hair choices so educating non-black women is irrelevant to them. Some black women prefer to prioritize the love and acceptance of a partner over their choice of hair style. We are human and going to have human responses to standing in a crooked room. My spouse strongly supported my decision to go natural. I honestly cannot tell you, if he didn't, I would have chosen a hair style over him.

To paraphrase Melissa Harris-Perry, black women are standing in a crooked room and any which way we contort ourselves to be comfortable, we will be denigrated. No effort goes unpunished. We can't even rely on those that look closest to us for support.

I don't care what is on another black woman's hair. I will just let her live judgement free from me. Black women are rarely ever not judged so I am more than happy to withhold mine and hope to continue to be better at it.

I love this whole post. Reminds me of brothas (and I got nothing but love for my brothas) posting things on social media complaining about weaves but making memes denigrating women who choose to big chop and wear short fros. Smh.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[AmiJay]

koolkittychick

You need to watch the show Nashville. so distracting. The hair looks full until the shoulders and then three grouped waves stringing down. They need to fire the stylist because s/he does an awful job blending white hair with "white" extensions. Even the texture of the extensions look like wigs. Just thought of that show reading your comment. Between this forum and HD, TV watching is becoming an exercise in concentration.

My new motto is: live my life how I like and allow others the space to do the same.

Are you talking about Scarlett? The really blonde one? I noticed that about her hair too. Horrible! And I have seen quite a few white girls wearing weaves that you can totally tell.

 

[AmiJay]

sipp100 Have you really seen 11/12 year old girls with weaves and wigs?

 

[ChristmasCarol]

AmiJay

Yes! And I don't mean braid extensions, I'm talking full weaves and wigs.

 

[kamille8]

I say wear your hair however it makes you happy. However I am grateful to this site for showing me how to take care of my hair so I no long had to depend on a weave to achieve a certain look

 

[Ogoma]

Are you talking about Scarlett? The really blonde one? I noticed that about her hair too. Horrible! And I have seen quite a few white girls wearing weaves that you can totally tell.

That is the blonde niece right? It is like she has a full head of hair until her shoulders and then 75% of it is gone below her shoulders . I also noticed it with Rayna, but hers is not as bad.

 

[greight]

I think everyone has made really great points, but I think it is unfair to chide black women for living within the rules dictated by the world we live in. Black women are denigrated for our features, including by black men that have the same features!, and then denigrated again when we attempt to change those features to conform. We can't win.

Not everyone is willing, able or wants to rebel against society. Some just want to find as comfortable a space as possible and live. Some black women are comfortable bucking the trend and living outside society's norms, some are not. Some black women don't care what anyone thinks of their hair or their hair choices so educating non-black women is irrelevant to them. Some black women prefer to prioritize the love and acceptance of a partner over their choice of hair style. We are human and going to have human responses to standing in a crooked room. My spouse strongly supported my decision to go natural. I honestly cannot tell you, if he didn't, I would have chosen a hair style over him.

To paraphrase Melissa Harris-Perry, black women are standing in a crooked room and any which way we contort ourselves to be comfortable, we will be denigrated. No effort goes unpunished. We can't even rely on those that look closest to us for support.

I don't care what is on another black woman's hair. I will just let her live judgement free from me. Black women are rarely ever not judged so I am more than happy to withhold mine and hope to continue to be better at it.

This probably needs to be required reading for any person who wishes to discuss black women and hair.

I could never knock another BW decision about her hair even if I have my opinions about my own, especially regarding weave.

 

[girlonfire]

I think there are several issues that contribute to the "fake hair stigma".

1. Other races definitely wear extensions/wigs. However, they wear extensions that match their hair type. Black people rarely wear extensions that match their hair type. Can you imagine if a white woman with 2a hair wore a 4b textured weave with hair left out attempting to match the two and look natural? Can you imagine same person wearing a 4ab wig?

I completely agree! I said something similar, but now that many companies process hair to look like 4ab hair, there are more options, so now it is that much more painful for me to see a beautiful black girl with european looking locks. I have been studying this art of weave and on Aliexpress I have seen many vendors that offer textures that look like relaxed or blown out African hair, and I'm planning on buying for a friend of mine to make a u-part wig for her because I am tired of seeing her with this sad looking hair on her head. I just want her to see my argument better, that she looks better with hair that looks like it COULD be hers! I hope she doesn't hate me for digging in her business. I'm planning on blending to benders hair 1 is a relaxed texture and one is a sort of a medium 4b blown out texture. I think blending textures creates a really natural look. you probably didn't need to hear all that lol I just wanted to reply because I really resonated with what you said

 

[Adiatasha]

So why is it that people don't ask if "that's your real eye color", "your real breasts" , "your real teeth", "your original nose"

 

[koolkittychick]

So why is it that people don't ask if "that's your real eye color", "your real breasts" , "your real teeth", "your original nose"

When I was wearing a pair of very well done, complimentary, and expensive golden brown colored contacts, I was asked the first question all the time (I always answered truthfully). When I colored my hair a natural-looking shade of golden blonde, I was also asked if it was real all the time until I let it grow out to an ombre effect; then I was merely complimented on the color.

As for the last three questions, if you run in the right economic circles (or, because of where I live, you are Hispanic) where plastic surgery is common, you will get asked those questions, and more often than not, you won't be offended if you are asked. If anything, in all the instances I just gave, most people take it for the complement it is; the person is asking because the color or work done looks so good and realistic they are asking if it is real, with the slightest of hopes that it isn't so you will be kind enough to tell them where you got it so they can get it themselves if they can.

At least, that's how I always interpreted it. In fact, you should be offended if they noticed your eye color/nose job/boobs/hair and didn't say anything (you can tell), because then they are trying to follow their mama's advice ("if you don't have anything nice to say...") instead of trying to help you not look ratchet in public, which I would prefer over momentarily hurting my feelings.

 

[AmiJay]

That is the blonde niece right? It is like she has a full head of hair until her shoulders and then 75% of it is gone below her shoulders . I also noticed it with Rayna, but hers is not as bad.

I love Nashville. Now I'm going to be looking real close at Rayna trying to see if I can see her weave.

 

[girlonfire]

So why is it that people don't ask if "that's your real eye color", "your real breasts" , "your real teeth", "your original nose"

They do though...

 

[AmiJay]

AmiJay

Yes! And I don't mean braid extensions, I'm talking full weaves and wigs.

Wow. I don't even know what I'd do if I saw some **** like that!