Naturals that went back to relaxing, any regrets?

[Princess4real]

ok here is the honest to G-d truth.

I'm lightweight mad that I went natural in the first place.

I went natural because I thought it would be easier to retain length. When I think about how much hair I have cut off in the past 3+ years due to knots (don't even mention my BC) I'm like I just wasted my time and length.

I've only been re-relaxed for a few weeks and trust me when I say that I don't miss a damn thing about being natural. I thought I was going to feel some kind of guilt or regret when I sat in the stylist chair, but that sooooo didn't happen. The first time I washed my hair and was able to detangle in less than a minute, I felt like somebody had just let me out of jail.

I think the reason I felt this way was that I never put too much emphasis on natural hair being part of my identity. I wore a bun with natural hair and I wear a bun with relaxed hair. The bun is representative of my style and personality, the crinklyness or straightness of the bun is just a means to the end.

So my long winded answer is - no regrets.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

KiSseS03

Crackers Phinn Wow I remember when you relaxed and I'm very surprised to see that you're natural again! May I ask, what changed from then (relaxing for your sanity/to show length, etc) to now? I want to relax for similar reasons...

My goal when I got to the board was APL because i really never my hair would ever reach past the top of my shoulders. When I relaxed I was APL. The effect of getting to BSL and later WSL on me was that length became less important because I knew that long hair was something I could attain. Because I cared less about length I cared less about me or anybody else being able to see it.

I BC'd to a TWA which would have been unthinkable to me the first time I transitioned.

Managing two textures was much easier as a former natural but if you are style challenged like I am then cute hair can be luck of the draw while stretching relaxers and I used to go between 16-30 weeks depending on when I could get in the salon for a touch up.

 

[Anavrin]

I relaxed after a year of transitioning (don't ask how I managed that) for a photo shoot for senior pics. My Caucasian parents didn't like the look and were afraid that I'd come to regret it. Honestly, as hard as it was to handle and as much as I fought it, I miss being natural. I miss the texture and being the odd one out. I see why they call it the creamy crack though, because the nice, sleek, healthy feeling you get from a relaxer temporarily eventually amounts dryness and damage.

Sidenote: This is not to imply any relaxed ladies have crispity crunchedy damaged hair, just the ones like me who have no idea how to take care of it.

 

[fatimablush]

no regrets..at all.

 

[Carmelella]

^^ what crackers phinn said!

I'm tired and bored of natural hair, it was a great experience, learned a lot, but life with s relaxer was simpler for me. In fact I think I take care of my hair less now due to being under a weave most of the time or needing an entire day to do my hair... So I dont. Out of this hhj the biggest benefit that I got was retention and I think I'll use those lessons when I'm relaxed.

I'm self relaxing next week. Every single time I've went to a salon , they NEVER listen and end up over processing my hair or under processing so I rather take my chances myself.

 

[Jewell]

Nope. Ive gone natural twice in the past 4 yrs, and back to relaxers twice also in that period. My natural hair was fun at first, and liberating, but quickly became too much of a chore. Took 3 hrs to straighten. Couldnt comb it dry. Matts and tangles, SSKs. Having my 2nd child in Dec, and the choice to relax was purely one of convenience, and for styling aid. New Yr baby and I gotta look right! Due 12/31/12.

**Oh and a huge second to what Crackers Phinn said about the joy of being able to detangle in less than a minute, and feeling like one was let out of jail. Me all the way. Retained length while natural, but it didnt show due to darned shrinkage. I wear buns too, and have lived in them while my hair was in both states. Loving relaxed hair, but glad Ive experienced being both a short (twa) and long-haired (wl) natural, with all stages in between.

Ive been self-relaxed for yrs, so I dont have to rely ona stylist. I buy my Mizani thru a stylist in my fam and do it myself, but my recent virgin relaxer was prof. done, as it was too big a mountain for me to climb alone this time.

 

[sapphire18]

I just relaxed yesterday after 2 years of being natural and I will post my pictures today. I don't regret my decision to relax at all. My hair is much easier to de-tangle now. I purposely under processed my hair so my hair looks almost the same but it feels amazing. My natural hair was soooo crunchy and it felt like within a couple of minutes after I applied my relaxer my hair just melted into softness. I was able to wash my hair properly for the first time in months because... I can finally reach my scalp!

 

[Lola94531]

I to had been natural til my hair got so matted I had to cut about 4 inches off. Now I tex lax

 

[tapioca_pudding]

Bump.. just because.

 

[EnExitStageLeft]

Transitioned for 14 months, big chopped, relaxed a year later...Did I regret it? NOPE! I love my hair either way, relaxed or natural .

 

[kellistarr]

After 13 years of trying out my natural hair, I decided to relax. I thought I would never revisit the creamy crack (relaxer), or the hot tools of flaming hell fire (blow dryers, flat irons, curlers etc....) but here I am relaxed. I loved my curls and am sure that I will miss them. Like any hair, natural hair has its hit and misses and some things I won't miss: frizz, knots, tangles, super extended hair washing and conditioning sessions,. Some things I will miss: instant hairstyle (curls), texture, waves, compliments. Not being afraid of the rain. But its all good. One day I will revisit my natural hair after I get through swinging and swanging and enjoying my full length and re-inventing myself for my hubbie. Don't be scared. I did give it a lot of thought, didn't just jump into it. I don't plan on regrets because I can go back to natural whenever I feel like it. I ain't afraid of transitioning, was doing that before it had a title, or sporting a twa, loved my twa. What's good is that I know how to take better care of my relaxed hair than the 30 plus years of when I had it before.

 

[tolly]

I regret going back to relaxers.... I made the decision out of frustration and not accepting my hair grows slowly... I've spent the entire 3years I have been on a hair journey cutting my hair, initial BC 2010, relaxed 2012 and after 4months did another BC. I still have a TWA. My hair grows too slowly for me to be happy with swinging back and forth, of course it will grow back but it takes too long for me to enjoy the process.
I just want it long enough for a ponytail.

 

[brittle_hair]

I went back to relaxers in February this year and I have no regrets whatsoever. I went natural because I thought my natural hair would not break as there would be no chemicals involved and therefore I would retain a lot of length. The reality was it grew quickly to SL and then the SSK's became an issue, I was constantly pulling off balls of hair from the ends of my hair. My hair never looked moisturised, and it definitely took up too much time with the plaiting before bed, washing process and styling in the morning.

I miss the thickness, but I do feel that I can still achieve big hair by just throwing in my satin rollers before bed, which takes me like 5 minutes on my relaxed hair. I actually feel like my breakage is more under control with my relaxed hair than it was when it was natural hair thanks to my discovery of Affirm 5b in 1. It has been 8 months of me being relaxed and I love the ease of doing my hair and I have also retained length over that period without really focusing on protective styling - my natural hair was only really happy when in a protective style - braided and I preferred the 'out' styles more, which my hair hated.

I'm an inch away from APL and even though I got close to APL as a natural you could never tell from all the shrinkage anyway. Straightening my hair took far too long and lasted less than a day.

Yep, no regrets, but I'm glad I went natural because it means I no longer think the grass is greener on the other side

 

[z3000zee]

I was natural for about 3 years and relaxed about 3.5 years ago because I had so much hair and I didn't know what to do with it. I also had a hard time finding a natural hair stylist that I could afford at the time. When I relaxed I was fine until my "great" hair stylist got pregnant and moved to another state. As I experimented with new stylists my hair became way too damaged and therefore, I am natural again and happy. My last relaxer was about a year ago and I hated the anemic status of my hair. I don't think I will ever relax again because I don't want to feel dependent upon anyone else again for the health of my hair and I don't feel comfortable relaxing my own hair.

When my hair gets really long this time I think I will be better informed from these websites to make better styling options. For some reason, I feel that there are more naturals and better information for taking care of longer natural hair now. I am not sure if that is true or I didn't know where to find information the last time.

In reference to styling options, the only times I have long styling days are when I experiment or on the wash days that I apply henna. Whether I am straight or natural, I will apply oil before I wash, shampoo, condition and deep condition. After I wash, I put my hair in flat twists. The next day I wear a flat twist out. If my hair was straight then I would roll my hair. Either way they both take time. On wash day, the flat twists may take a half an hour longer.

I think staying natural is a personal preference and some people will find a way to make it work, others will not and others just prefer straight hair and whatever someone decides to do, it is all good.

Sorry for the long post.

My significant other is my biggest supporter so that makes me feel even better about my choice.

 

[Ravenhairedbeauty]

I texlaxed for the first time last year, and although I liked it at first, I miss my natural hair. I'm transitioning right now, and I'll see how it looks, but I'll probably cut off the texlaxed ends next year, depending on how long I can handle the two textures.

 

[Ogoma]

I like this thread. Some of the anecdotes are really humorous.

My hair is very easy going. It doesn't give me any problems natural and it never gave me any problems relaxed (except when I was begging it to misbehave by relaxing and bleaching in the same week. It indulged me). Very grateful to it. I will probably stay natural because, for whatever reason, my relaxed hair was a bit more work for me to maintain than my natural hair, especially when I had bangs. But either way, my hair would be healthy and happy.

 

[Stormy]

Yes I regretted it! I went natural back in 2009, didn't know how to handle the SSKs, the in between styling stage, etc... so I went back to a relaxer in 2010. My hair started looking all thin and lifeless again, shedding and breaking so I went back natural in 2011. And so far I don't regret this. I know how to care for my natural hair now. I know what it can and can't do, and it's longer and thicker than it's ever been. There were some good years with my relaxed hair too prior to the first time I went natural, but it was too hit or miss and I never got to a true shoulder length.

Now, I will admit though... if it weren't for the new BKT alternative treatments I probably would've texlaxed by now. So, as long as they keep making these I'm good.

 

[Whimsy]

Glad to see this thread. I can't believe I'm even saying this, but, now that my hair is short, I kinda want to texlax or relax bone straight (never had that before) and keep it short and straight w/o much effort.

I"m sure I'll change my mind in 5 minutes though......or will I?

 

[FindingMe]

I was natural for 5 years. I just relaxed/texlaxed less a week ago and no I don't regret it.

Most people can't tell the difference. I just keep getting a lot of "You look nice today"s

• 
  I can see length.

• My hair takes WAY less time to wash/detangle.

• It requires WAY less product.

• I am able to use up my stash that in NO WAY worked before on my hair and they seem to be doing fine, just giving me different results. (kinky, straighter, coily, etc.)

• It is softer & shinier.

• Depending on what products I use it still has coils/kinks/frizz if I want.

• I can wear it roller set or straight if I want.

No, I have no regrets.

 

[mz.rae]

This is a really interesting thread, I'm contemplating relaxing again. Today marks two years since my last relaxer, but to me natural hair seems more complicated. I was natural most of my life but didn't know how to care for it and was stuck at one length. I then relaxed for four years before transitioning. I retained a lot of length relaxed and made it to my goal of waist length hair. I'm trying to do the same thing natural. But to me its odd that my natural hair seems weaker than my relaxed hair. And I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to retain length as quickly.

 

[Harina]

I was natural for 5 years. I just relaxed/texlaxed less a week ago and no I don't regret it.

Most people can't tell the difference. I just keep getting a lot of "You look nice today"s
.[/LIST]

No, I have no regrets.

From your siggy, I can see why people can't tell the difference. How long do you leave the relaxer/texlaxer on? What brand do you use? This is basically what happened to me when I bkt'd. Hair looked the same, but it was different. FindingMe

Now, I will admit though... if it weren't for the new BKT alternative treatments I probably would've texlaxed by now. So, as long as they keep making these I'm good.

@What new bkt alternatives are you talking about? What brands? How often do you do them? Stormy

 

[Sosa]

I have porous thick 4a/b strands that are prone to splits, even tho I am natural.
My relaxed hair was easier to maintain due to less manipulation.

I can't do this much longer...hours of styling for mediocre results My hair has started shedding a lot and is getting thinner. I am style-challenged too. I think I'm going to BKT. Forget this!

 

[PeaceFlow]

I wouldn't be going back to relaxer.

I have been natural most of my life with a few short relaxed periods.

Every time I relaxed I felt dread when feeling the water running off my straight hair. Regretted it every time.

Sometimes I somewhat consider it but it's a bit stupid to do the same thing and expect different results lol.

 

[z3000zee]

Glad to see this thread. I can't believe I'm even saying this, but, now that my hair is short, I kinda want to texlax or relax bone straight (never had that before) and keep it short and straight w/o much effort.

I"m sure I'll change my mind in 5 minutes though......or will I?

I believe this. I think the shorter stages can sometimes be more difficult. When you had longer hair you could always go ahead and put in a ponytail or puff and be done with it.

I always think peoples with twa are brave and talented because both times I transitioned with weaves, twist extensions or phony ponies for either 6 months or a year.

 

[Stormy]

@What new bkt alternatives are you talking about? What brands? How often do you do them? @Stormy

Well, there's Design Essentials and Arosci that everyone has been talking about. There's also the QOD Max White and Gold. Neither of those were in my budget at the time (back in Sept) and I just wanted to try something temporary like 30 days so I did the Organix Ever Straight brand. I followed those directions to a T and it worked!

 

[Stormy]

Also, here's the link to the BKT Alternative thread: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=611531&highlight=bkt+alternatives

 

[FindingMe]

Harina

From your siggy, I can see why people can't tell the difference. How long do you leave the relaxer/texlaxer on? What brand do you use? This is basically what happened to me when I bkt'd. Hair looked the same, but it was different.

Girl, I just picked up a Just For Me, kiddie relaxer. That day, my hair was literally standing up on top of my head from the humidity in FL. I was over it and stopped on the way home at the CVS. I started with the front so it got about 10 min and the back got about 7 or 8 min at the most.

It looks similar, but it is VERY different, tho- In the shower it is almost straight and looks straight while wet. It doesn't start to kink until it gets completely dry. Because of this, roller setting will be a BREEZE I cannot WAIT to sit under my PIBBS again....

I have been using the junkiest products I could find in my cabinet that need to be used up and everything seems to be working fine and way better than they did on my natural hair. erplexed

Since I have some kink left (and that's all that's in my overflowing PJ closet), I am still using sulfate free, silicone free products. So far so good.

I cut my hair into the inverted bob bc all my hair was just too much for me to manage, but now I just wish I had relaxed it. I would have longer than BSL length all over right now if I had done that.

 

[BornAgainNatural2012]

I am regretting big time, relaxers aren't for me. I had my last relaxer Sept 1, 2013 and it was horrible. Let me say that it BURNED like hell, the stylist didn't properly base my scalp. When I was complaining that it burned she decided to put some oil on my scalp, I never understand why stylists do this or try to spray your scalp thats not going to stop or ease the burning sensation. Then when she finally took it out I felt sick when I say sick like my scalp was in pain and extremely sensitive. I finally got home and I see a piece of my skin near my hairline missing, I am not even kidding . The next day I woke up and all the hair was stuck to my scalp, NEVER AGAIN.

I am now transitioning again and I won't go back. I can't keep up with the you can't scratch your scalp days before the relaxers etc is too much for me plus my hair doesn't retain length when I am relaxed.

 

[natural_one]

nope! I go between natural and relaxed, and right now I am texlaxed after 4 yrs...I am enjoying my length and swing..I may go back natural in a few years, who knows??

 

[brittle_hair]

I am regretting big time, relaxers aren't for me. I had my last relaxer Sept 1, 2013 and it was horrible. Let me say that it BURNED like hell, the stylist didn't properly base my scalp. When I was complaining that it burned she decided to put some oil on my scalp, I never understand why stylists do this or try to spray your scalp thats not going to stop or ease the burning sensation. Then when she finally took it out I felt sick when I say sick like my scalp was in pain and extremely sensitive. I finally got home and I see a piece of my skin near my hairline missing, I am not even kidding . The next day I woke up and all the hair was stuck to my scalp, NEVER AGAIN.

I am now transitioning again and I won't go back. I can't keep up with the you can't scratch your scalp days before the relaxers etc is too much for me plus my hair doesn't retain length when I am relaxed.

I have a supersensitive scalp too. My stylist has to relax in 4/5 sections and if she goes on vacation, I have to wait for her to get back cos no other stylist gets it. Stretching is a good thing so I don't mind so much.