Can hair care be an act of meditation?

[kxlot79]

Are there others who find their hair care to be meditative?
I'm just wondering how other women REALLY feel about their hair care.
All of the women in my life seem to view their hair or it's care so negatively. If it's not a chore, it's viewed with alternating resignation and weariness. And in some of the threads here I've sensed an undercurrent of resentment towards curly hair.
I've found that since deciding to let my hair grow as long as it can, I've become a much more patient and easy going person. Not that I was a highstrung neurotic before my HHJ. But I think that taking care of my hair as I never have before, so gently and mindfully, has spurred my development in a myriad of other ways. Healthy hair care led me to a healthier lifestyle, with fitness, nutrition, and even mental/spiritual health.
My time to detangle, cleanse, condition, and treat (with various experiments), are moments where I feel most transcendent. Yeah, it's just hair, in a way. But I often feel like it's a path to something greater.

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[IDareT'sHair]

I do find that it is Relaxing, Therapeutic and a Hobby. Just as any other "hobby".

I enjoy discussing Hair & Products as would anyone else that was into: Scrapbooking, Cooking, Photography, Painting a etc...... discussing a mutual hobby with "like-minded" individuals.

But I am also spiritually grounded and realize it's just hair after all and therefore, it has it's proper place in my life.

So Girl, please feel free to chat away. We got you!

 

[LivingInPeace]

I always dread the thought of washing my hair but when I do it I feel like I'm pampering myself. I'm taking care of me. I love being able to touch my curls and kinks and feeling like, "This is all me."

 

[caliscurls]

OP I can totally identify with everything you said. I am healthier today because if this site and doing my hair is a treat. If it could handle manipulation everyday I'd do it.

 

[Amarilles]

I definitely feel you. I absolutely adore my wash days and I love styling it and simply caring for it. I have started my HHJ less than a year ago though, so I admit I could be in some kind of honeymoon phase. I doubt it simply because I'm transitioning (15 months - no heat or false hair) which is something many naturals lose patience with to begin with, even newer ones.

Anyone else go through some extreme lengths to save ONE hair? I can't count how many times I've undone a sexy, juicy braid to save some random ass strand...come to find out it's a shed hair But I'd do it again in a heartbeat

 

[MileHighDiva]

Are there others who find their hair care to be meditative?
I'm just wondering how other women REALLY feel about their hair care.
All of the women in my life seem to view their hair or it's care so negatively. If it's not a chore, it's viewed with alternating resignation and weariness. And in some of the threads here I've sensed an undercurrent of resentment towards curly hair.
I've found that since deciding to let my hair grow as long as it can, I've become a much more patient and easy going person. Not that I was a highstrung neurotic before my HHJ. But I think that taking care of my hair as I never have before, so gently and mindfully, has spurred my development in a myriad of other ways. Healthy hair care led me to a healthier lifestyle, with fitness, nutrition, and even mental/spiritual health.
My time to detangle, cleanse, condition, and treat (with various experiments), are moments where I feel most transcendent. Yeah, it's just hair, in a way. But I often feel like it's a path to something greater.

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kxlot79, what do you mean by the bolded? People frustrated with their own curly hair, or something else?

 

[kxlot79]

Thanks for the alternative perspective!
I didn't mean that hair isn't a "hobby," because it is often an activity to be pursued for relaxation or leisure/fun. What I meant was more the positive/negative attitudes or emotions associated with curly hair specifically or it's care.

Finding it's care to be meditative doesn't, in my opinion, take away from other spiritual qualities or activities in life.

I often compare how I take care of my hair to how a lot of people hold prayer beads or count them. Hair care is an act of meditation for me, in the highest sense of the word. Not that I don't have fun with it or that it's not leisurely or that it would be the end of my world if I went bald, but while it's on my head, it's an awfully convenient devotional object.

It's not about how long it is or it's curl pattern or anything else except it's condition and care. Like any other part of our bodies, I think the condition of our hair can be reflective of our personality, values, and even our inner energy. That doesn't mean it is for everyone. I'm wondering if that's the case for ANYONE.
Hope that clarifies what I meant.

I do find that it is Relaxing, Therapeutic and a Hobby. Just as any other "hobby".

I enjoy discussing Hair & Products as would anyone else that was into: Scrapbooking, Cooking, Photography, Painting a etc...... discussing a mutual hobby with "like-minded" individuals.

But I am also spiritually grounded and realize it's just hair after all and therefore, it has it's proper place in my life.

So Girl, please feel free to chat away. We got you!

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[kxlot79]

Then why do you dread it?

I always dread the thought of washing my hair but when I do it I feel like I'm pampering myself. I'm taking care of me. I love being able to touch my curls and kinks and feeling like, "This is all me."

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[kxlot79]

Thanks so much for the input!

It is really nice to know others feel similarly! I suspect more people secretly feel this way but feel compelled to commiserate with people who have negative or begrudging attitudes about their hair or it's care.
For my own hair care, it is only 1-5 minutes a day except on wash day, which can be 1-8 hours, depend on what I'm doing. But unless I'm rushing for a reason I can't avoid, I always take my time and it's not tedious for me at all. And given how fragile and fine my hair is, I have no desire to manipulate it everyday. Maybe when I've sated my curiosity for how long it can get.

OP I can totally identify with everything you said. I am healthier today because if this site and doing my hair is a treat. If it could handle manipulation everyday I'd do it.

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[LivingInPeace]

Then why do you dread it?




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Because when I think about washing it, I think about the detangling process. I'm always worried that I'm losing too much hair or wondering if I'm being gentle enough. But last night I tried something different. I detangled with loads of conditioner before I shampooed. It took a lot less time and I didn't feel like all of my hair was on the bathroom floor.

I love to shampoo and condition my hair. I love the smell and the feel of the products and the way they make my hair feel. After I condition, I twist my hair and I get to use my good smelling stylers and moisturizers. That part, I looooovvve!

 

[kxlot79]

Thank you for contributing!

I hope that you're able to maintain your positivity and patience towards your hair.
I have yet to encounter the person with healthy hair who does not engage in some degree of patience,and aggravated patience just seems counterproductive to me.
I've been natural for most of my life (with just a 3.5 year hiatus in HS) and I've always felt like my hair was testing me. And there were some long periods of time where I struggled with it and almost seemed to fight with it in an effort to get it to do something it couldn't or didn't want to do. Those battles are far behind me though. Me and my hair are very Zen now. Everything else falls into place.

As far as going lengths to save a single strand... I believe in the power of intention. Maybe that degree of preservation will last and maybe not. But I'd wager this stage will teach you a lot about being mindful, to the point where you'll rarely leave a strand out of a braid, shed or not.
And if you're lucky, that will translate to greater awareness about everything else in your life.

I definitely feel you. I absolutely adore my wash days and I love styling it and simply caring for it. I have started my HHJ less than a year ago though, so I admit I could be in some kind of honeymoon phase. I doubt it simply because I'm transitioning (15 months - no heat or false hair) which is something many naturals lose patience with to begin with, even newer ones.

Anyone else go through some extreme lengths to save ONE hair? I can't count how many times I've undone a sexy, juicy braid to save some random *** strand...come to find out it's a shed hair But I'd do it again in a heartbeat

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[kxlot79]

what do you mean by the bolded? People frustrated with their own curly hair, or something else?

I don't really understand your question. Mine is "Can hair care be an act of meditation?" Is it meditative for anyone else, whether for their own or someone else's, particularly a loved one. For myself, it is meditative for self care but also when I've done a close relative's hair.
I can't imagine someone simultaneously meditating and being frustrated, if you mean to say those ideas aren't mutually exclusive. I'm curious about what your answer is to the question.
Specifically, I feel curly hair, particularly tight coils like mine, gets a lot of negative attitudes: resignation, impatience, dread, frustration, even sorrow. But mine has cultivated a better person: more mindful, compassionate, patient etc. And that's because its care induces a kind of calm trance for me, as weird as that may sound. Lol

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[kxlot79]

Okay. So you dread losing hair, not detangling? You fear breaking your hair or not being gentle enough with it?
I think those are valid feelings. But it seems like you dread the results, not the action itself, which IMO is better.
All anyone can hope for is to do their best. If you're as gentle and patient as you can be, why have fear about the result? Unless you want a giant cotton ball-like lump of hair, detangling has to be done; and if you've tried your best, whatever comes out is a lost cause and dreading the result sounds unnecessary.
I'm not saying don't dread your detangling, that's your prerogative. I'm just trying to offer an alternative. Whenever I try my best, the cards can fall wherever and I don't even mind the results because I know they're the best possible.

Thanks for clarifying!

Because when I think about washing it, I think about the detangling process. I'm always worried that I'm losing too much hair or wondering if I'm being gentle enough. But last night I tried something different. I detangled with loads of conditioner before I shampooed. It took a lot less time and I didn't feel like all of my hair was on the bathroom floor.

I love to shampoo and condition my hair. I love the smell and the feel of the products and the way they make my hair feel. After I condition, I twist my hair and I get to use my good smelling stylers and moisturizers. That part, I looooovvve!

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[Amarilles]

Okay. So you dread losing hair, not detangling? You fear breaking your hair or not being gentle enough with it?
I think those are valid feelings. But it seems like you dread the results, not the action itself, which IMO is better.
All anyone can hope for is to do their best. If you're as gentle and patient as you can be, why have fear about the result? Unless you want a giant cotton ball-like lump of hair, detangling has to be done; and if you've tried your best, whatever comes out is a lost cause and dreading the result sounds unnecessary.
I'm not saying don't dread your detangling, that's your prerogative. I'm just trying to offer an alternative. Whenever I try my best, the cards can fall wherever and I don't even mind the results because I know they're the best possible.

I like your thought process!

I've gotten to the point where I freaking love detangling I sorta disagree with calling it detangling though because it's not tangled...there should be a word for the simple act of removing shed hair. I dislike dealing with tangled hair, but I love getting those shed suckers outta there. Considering I only remove shed once every 7 days, the shed should not be a total of 10 strands. I find that the more shed I get out, the easier my hair is to work with throughout the following week.

I think that only coming up with a few strands can cause issues, a cycle of constant shed hair tangling up and inviting other hairs to do so too. I placed mesh drains in my sink and shower so I catch all hair I lose and can look through it to check for white tips if need be...it's a good way compare any breakage vs shed hair, and adjust anything that may need adjusting.

 

[Guinan]

I def find doing my hair meditative. In the beginning of the year, my twin sister had a very serious health scare & we didn't know if she was going to make it. So as u can imagine I was losing my mind. To help me cope, I focused on God & my hair. Without those two, I really think I could of been committed to a mental health asylum.

 

[Nix08]

It does seem weird but since starting this hair journey - hair has absolutely been an outlet for me (and others that I speak to outside the board). Not only is it therapeutic but I find that it is the one area that I feel I have 'complete' control over

 

[Jewell]

I really find hair and my whole focus surrounding my hair to be an act of meditation, and it has definitely helped me with my patience in everyday life. I find hair and hair care to be quite interesting, so it is a topic I read about nearly every single day, and I enjoy reading about hair more than anything, I think (well history, world culture, law, and firearms come pretty close).

Amarilles

I do the same...remove shed hair once a week before washing and I can't stand those bad boys either. They can wrap around my other hair and cause hellish mats. That's about all the tangling I get. In a week, I estimate I remove maybe 100-150 hairs during that weekly comb out.

pelohello

Wow, I am glad your sister came through. I went through a similar experience with my SO/son's father...he took sick all of a sudden after being healthy all his life and ended up having to be resuscitated, put on dialysis, and was in ICU for 3 days. The docs were surprised he lived and didn't have brain damage due to lack of oxygen. My hair started shedding terribly from the stress and I was so scared for him and worried about his health, I lived at the hospital until he got out. Then I lived by his bedside until he was well. I had to neglect my hair a bit but to occupy my mind, I prayed all the time and read about hair. Weird, I know.

Nix08

I agree, same here. I'm a stay-at-home mom, and hair has been a nice hobby for me.

 

[CodeRed]

And in some of the threads here I've sensed an undercurrent of resentment towards curly hair.

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I agree with this. I don't come here a lot anymore but sometimes when I read a thread I'm like erplexed at some responses.

I streamlined my regimen so I don't really feel any kind of way... it's more like a five minute step in the shower, which overall makes me feel better/pampered and ready to start my day...or go to bed lol.

 

[kxlot79]

Thanks so much for your input!

I want to believe that negative attitudes about curly hair involve some aspect of mishandling but a lot of the women feeling so haven't been able to realize that.
I love your solution. And I haven't seen enough simple solutions to what are essentially behavior problems on the threads.
I also "de-shed" my hair once a week and all the hair that's detached from my scalp goes on my shower wall until I'm done. Then I roll it into a little ball and throw it away. Lol (Though for some styles it might be once a month or an even longer stretch like once in 3 months). It is truly "detangling" with looser styles for me or with longer stretches of manipulation.

I like your thought process!
I placed mesh drains in my sink and shower so I catch all hair I lose and can look through it to check for white tips if need be...it's a good way compare any breakage vs shed hair, and adjust anything that may need adjusting.

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[kxlot79]

I def find doing my hair meditative. In the beginning of the year, my twin sister had a very serious health scare & we didn't know if she was going to make it. So as u can imagine I was losing my mind. To help me cope, I focused on God & my hair. Without those two, I really think I could of been committed to a mental health asylum.

What a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing!
There have been times where I've had a bad day at work or have had to deal with some minor strife. I get to massaging my scalp or tenderly disassembling a style and before I know it, my hair is restyled in a simple, fully moisturized, tangleless bun and most of my frustrations have melted away. Something about taking a lump of chaos and gently putting it to order can soothe the soul. All the better if that chaos is on your head I suppose. Lol

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[kxlot79]

It does seem weird but since starting this hair journey - hair has absolutely been an outlet for me (and others that I speak to outside the board). Not only is it therapeutic but I find that it is the one area that I feel I have 'complete' control over

I don't think it's weird at all!
And I'm willing to wager that if you keep at it with that attitude, you'll start to feel more control over other aspects of your life.
It was a very gradual process for me, but it was something like "How can you be so no parabens this, no sulfates that and eat whatever?" And before I knew it, "Well if you can control your hair, your nutrition, your fitness, you can control your state of mind." And after that, I found there was very little I wanted for myself outside of my control.
HHHJ!

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[kxlot79]

Thanks for sharing Jewell!

It is really refreshing to know that others have used their hair, its growth, or its general health as more than a superficial pursuit of length or some elusive bragging right (not that there's anything inherently wrong with either).
And even though I can understand the science behind it, I'm always a little mystified by how much hair can react to mental/physical well being. Thankfully, I've yet to experience something traumatic enough to trigger non-hormonal shedding. But I do recall when an aunt in her 40s went from having deep mahogany locks to a complete shock of Storm-white hair overnight after a stroke. Nobody could tell me her texture hadn't changed too.

I really find hair and my whole focus surrounding my hair to be an act of meditation, and it has definitely helped me with my patience in everyday life. I find hair and hair care to be quite interesting, so it is a topic I read about nearly every single day, and I enjoy reading about hair more than anything, I think (well history, world culture, law, and firearms come pretty close).
...
My hair started shedding terribly from the stress and I was so scared for him and worried about his health, I lived at the hospital until he got out. Then I lived by his bedside until he was well. I had to neglect my hair a bit but to occupy my mind, I prayed all the time and read about hair. Weird, I know.

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[Nix08]

I don't think it's weird at all!
And I'm willing to wager that if you keep at it with that attitude, you'll start to feel more control over other aspects of your life.
It was a very gradual process for me, but it was something like "How can you be so no parabens this, no sulfates that and eat whatever?" And before I knew it, "Well if you can control your hair, your nutrition, your fitness, you can control your state of mind." And after that, I found there was very little I wanted for myself outside of my control.
HHHJ!

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You are SOOO right kxlot79 I actually have changed my personal care products and food because of that very control I established in my hair products.

 

[kxlot79]

Thank you for contributing!

I have popped in and out of these forums for years, and every year, my stay has been a bit shorter because of some of the hopeless attitudes about hair. And then there seems to be a wave of like-minded commiserating.
Gratefully, the people genuinely seeking advice and some way to be proactive always have a place to go too. And it's really nice to see some of the ladies who've built enough of a reputation for thoughtful responses that they get mentioned across threads.
AND... Who says meditation can't be five minutes? It can be 30 seconds. It can be a day. Because you feel better after doing your hair, I garner you're doing something right!

I agree with this. I don't come here a lot anymore but sometimes when I read a thread I'm like erplexed at some responses.

I streamlined my regimen so I don't really feel any kind of way... it's more like a five minute step in the shower, which overall makes me feel better/pampered and ready to start my day...or go to bed lol.

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[kxlot79]

You are SOOO right kxlot79 I actually have changed my personal care products and food because of that very control I established in my hair products.

Yay! Is it weird a did a little dance for your success?
I really hope to see more affirmation and positivity about hair care on the forums. Mainly I look through the threads for different ideas on how I might streamline/improve my own practices but some of the negativity is downright ghastly.

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