Tangles in Relaxed Hair When Stretching

[theLovelyStyle]

I used to have an issue with tangled matted ng and relaxed ends before I found a conditioner that actually worked for me.

Try finding a conditioner that after only a couple of minutes in you can run your finger through a section of your hair from root to tip.

If you cant do this with your current conditioner, it might be time to switch it up.

 

[sunnieb]

janeemat - I think if I ever decide to transition, I would definitely go to a natural stylist and have her give me a good press and trim every 2 months or so. I honestly don't think I can transition by myself and I refuse to BC.

I'd need a kind natural to take me in and baby me up.

 

[NJoy]

Someone explain to me why the relaxed hair gets so tangled when stretching please. I am beginning to wonder if something is wrong with my hair. And I am serious! My hair was nightmare tonight at only 16 wks or is it 14. Whatever...I use all of the necessary steps.....prepoo with oil, washed in 2 sections with a moisturizing poo, (kenra), porosity control for a couple of min, deep cond with Kenra cond, rinse on cool running shower comb through hair, add my leave in's, lacio, salerm 21, mizani therma strength. Now I begin to rollerset carefully handling my hair.....the nightmare begins....tangles, tangles, tangles. Can barely part my hair to roll it. The only reason that I have not relaxed yet is because I was waiting about 4 wks since I put a demi color in my hair. The entire while I'm talking to myself.....this is crazy....why do I put myself through this. I see ladies on here stretching years, and say they don's lose any hair when each week I lose a clob. I need to take a pic of the hair I lost. What's up with that? I really think that I am going back to my wicked ways of relaxing whenever I feel like it. What's the point in going through all of this, wearing a jacked up bun and I have yet to obtain that thick midback hair that I have been trying to achieve for years now. I might as well enjoy my swinging in the wind. And to think that one day I would like to transition to natural.......yeah right.

No answer but, I feel like I went thru that too. The first time I started having that kind of craziness, I relaxed out of frustration (plus I was going thru too much at the same time). Next time, I just pressed thru. I don't know if that's when I started mostly keeping my hair stretched in twists and celie braids and ignoring it when I got frustrated (covered with a cap or wig and moved on past the moment) or not but, at some point, it did get easier and I don't have those same issues. I think the longer I stretched and the longer the natural hair got, the easier it got. Keeping my hair stretched is key. I simply can NOT merger all my hair together and think that it's gonna be ok. I really feel like it will be much easier once the relaxed ends are gone but, I don't know that for a fact.

I remember losing tons of hair trying to detangle in the shower. I also had to stop doing that.

And since I can't rollerset (or sit under the dryer for a zillion hours), I got thru a lot of transitioning days finding clever ways to use scarves and caps to cover the madness. Some days I'd just refuse to fight my hair when I'm frustrated or my hair would suffer. But, this is the price I'm paying to get the hair that I want.

My relaxed hair was fighting my desire to go natural. Go figure. Just straight nutting...er, I mean knotting up. Transitioning without BC and long stretching is not always pretty.

 

[Evolving78]

Creme Of Nature Argan Shampoo is a lifesaver. and when i got a lot of new growth, i finger detangle first (like separating the strands) then i go over it with a wide, wavy, double toothed detangling comb. i use a detangler sometimes too.

and detangling dry with avocado oil helps too. i try to remove a lot of shed hairs first.

 

[Raspberry]

I find that finger detangling by section on dry hair with various leave-ins is way easier for me than detangling while wet or damp.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

When I had matting/knots/loc-ing/tangles was because I wasn't fully detangling my New Growth and removing "Sheds"

And the Shed hair was wrapping around the other hair and causing major damage.

It wasn't until I got my Double Row Denman D-24 Detangling Comb and begain using a Detangler that I was able to conquer this issue.

Keeping New Growth Moisturized and Fully Detangling down to the NG and Removing Shed Hair is Key.

 

[crazytrish75]

When I had matting/knots/loc-ing/tangles was because I wasn't fully detangling my New Growth and removing "Sheds"

And the Shed hair was wrapping around the other hair and causing major damage.

It wasn't until I got my Double Row Denman D-24 Detangling Comb and begain using a Detangler that I was able to conquer this issue.

Keeping New Growth Moisturized and Fully Detangling down to the NG and Removing Shed Hair is Key.

^^^this is me exactly. I finally ended a 16 week stretch today because I couldn't take it any more. I was getting too much breakage from shed hairs wrapping around the other hairs erplexed. When I would finger pull them out, it would snap whatever hair it was wrapped around and ssk's galore! I have been eyeballing the denman for a while. Just a little hesitant, alot of ladies complained of losing too much hair. But I have got to find something to make detangling easier. I was considering transitioning, but after today decided I was so not ready for that

 

[Raspberry]

It wasn't until I got my Double Row Denman D-24 Detangling Comb and begain using a Detangler that I was able to conquer this issue.

Keeping New Growth Moisturized and Fully Detangling down to the NG and Removing Shed Hair is Key.

Ok IDareT'sHair I have made two purchases today because of this thread (the internet is the devil ) I feel like $20 is worth a detangling experiment though.

So I will try this Denman comb after I use PM The Detangler - the slip is impressive. I will also use the electronic tangle tamer thingy SmileyNY recommended if the first thing doesn't work.

 

[tiffanyoneal]

Yup, the same thing used to happen to me. Stretching works best if I keep my hair in small braids under my lace wigs. Maybe you should try that. If you dont like lace wigs try a half wig or something where you can just braid your hair and leave it alone.

Another method that helps is I baggy like two days before I need to detangle so when its time to detangle the hair is nice and moisturized and the tangles are easier to come out...thus less hair loss.

Good luck

 

[EbonyCPrincess]

Stop stretching so long. Long stretches don't work for everyone and I'm of the opinion that this journey should be enjoyed. Like you said what's the point if you are confined to wearing a "jacked up bun." I'm the first to raise my hand and cry uncle as SOON as stretching becomes problematic for me. And I'm still growing and making progress. I think long term stretching has amazing benefits, but its just not for me so I relax between 10-12 weeks.

 

[havilland]

i had similar issues.

it took me a year to realize that my relaxed hair is just old hair. it's very fragile from the chemicals. the new growth is way way too strong. the weight difference in the two textures is too much for the fragile relaxed hair to handle. the more new growth, the more tangles.

here is what helped me...maybe something in these tactics can help you.

1. i never go longer than 4 days without putting some conditioner in my hair. i either co wash or deep condition every 4 days.

2. i oil my hair and remove shed hair every 4 days with my fingers while the hair is dry BEFORE i wet it so that it doesn't mat up.

3. after i detangle and remove shed hair with my fingers, i apply conditioner to the ends of my hair first so the weight of the product holds the relaxed hair down and keeps it from tangling up into the new grow0th or onto itself. once i apply the condish to the relaxed ends in sections, i can go back and separate the hair to apply condish to the roots with my applicator brush.

4. i stopped using shampoo. it's too stripping to the relaxed hair. that hair has a lifted cuticle and is just too fragile to handle shampoo. once i passed shoulder length, i could tell that i had to make my hair care more gentle to respect the relaxed ends that are very old. i now use a very diluted shampoo maybe once a month. last time i shampooed with undiluted clarifying poo because i had too much oil in my hair i regretted it big time. i find the natural roots get too dry from poo and the relaxed ends get stripped and tangled from it. so i skip it as much as possible.

5. i use claryfing conditioners instead of poo. V05 makes some nice ones that gently cleanse my hair.

6. i comb my hair with a wide tooth rake in the shower under running water only.

7. i smooth my roots under the shower spray, step from under the water and put my hair in a bun while i am still in the shower. that way my roots are still laying nice and flat from the soaking of the water. then i apply my gel, a dab of oil and tie my hair down to get a nice "smooth" bun. (as smooth as it can get at almost 12 months post)

8. i moisturize and oil my ends nightly. just a drop. but the attention has made a difference.


my first year of long stretches, i was a basket case. i wanted to cut my hair, relax bone straight (i texlax), shave my head, wear braids, wear wigs.....it took me a long time to get something that worked.

also, check my profile page. i have a blog post on long stretches from another forum poster. it might give you some ideas.

 

[havilland]

@janeemat - I think if I ever decide to transition, I would definitely go to a natural stylist and have her give me a good press and trim every 2 months or so. I honestly don't think I can transition by myself and I refuse to BC.

I'd need a kind natural to take me in and baby me up.

^^^^ this def helps. my stylist went natural and does natural hair, long term stretchers and relaxed heads. she talked me through my "suicide" attempts and even offered to come to my house to watch me do my hair so that she could see what i might be doing wrong an expert who cares and knows their stuff is def a big help.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

@crazytrish75

Make sure it's the comb (D-24). The comb with 2 rows of rounded teeth allow for deeper penetration into the root area and totally removes Tangles, Knots & Sheds.

I like it because it's easy to handle and not awkward or cumbersome. I had a Bone Comb/Detangler, but it was too large and hard to work with.

The Denman D-24 Double Row Detangling Comb is great.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

@Raspberry

I think you'll be very, very pleased.

I was desperate to find a way to end the Nightmare of Knotting/Matting/Loc'ing at the NG area.

I was practically in tears, because I could not figure out how to totally, successfully prevent this from happening.

The Denman Comb removes Sheds, Knots, Tangles, Mats by getting down to the NG and working through your hair.

Using that comb on wash day, totally solved that issue for me. And the use of a good detangling lotion/spray/creme.

Keep us posted in this thread on your Results.

 

[janeemat]

Wow...thanks ladies! I have just now able to get back to this thread. There is so much info in this thread....some I've already tried and some that I have not tried. But after digressing I've had a chance to think back through this journey and have really come up with the dos and don't of my hair. I will be relaxing this weekend and for real this time....NEVER EVER another long stretch. I realize that stretching has thinned out my hair. Thinking back, my hair was at it's best when I joined this site and begun getting relaxed 8-11 wks post. It was much thicker and I never lost so much hair when washing and styling. So that is what it will for now on. After I relax this time, I may get a nice trim back above APL. I'm going to prepoo, deep cond, cowash, bun and the works to get it back in tip top shape......and let it swing in the wind. That way if I ever transition I will start off with much healthier and thicker hair.

 

[almond eyes]

This is what helped me and I am past the four month mark. I am not intentionally stretching, but I am trying to clear my skin from these white heads I developed after using coconut oil for two months on my hair to moisturise. I am wearing a wig to hide my cheeks which are packed with these whiteheads. So I am not relaxing until it all clears up.

1. The comb (Use my large bone comb for detangling when I have finished shampooing and conditioning) and my small bone comb before I wash my hair to lightly comb through my roots just to cut back on tangles between the demarcation of natural and relaxed hair. I do that in four sections.
2. Not using too much shampoo (diluted)
3. Shampooing in braided sections
4. Letting my hair dry in big braids before attempting to detangle.

Hair should always be taken in sections.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Raspberry]

Ok so last night I experimented a bit.

I had been wearing twist-outs all week and my hair was full of tangles. I didn't do anything pre-wash, just got in the shower and washed/DC'd.

IDareT'sHair I did a final rinse with PM The Detangler, and while it provided a lot of slip the new Denman comb didn't do much, I couldn't get it through my hair and I didn't put much effort in because I hate causing breakage on wet hair. I was dead wrong for not doing anything with those tangles beforehand though, the comb might've helped if I had.

Since I've had good results finger detangling on dry hair I decided to finish up by t-shirt drying to 70% and tension blow drying in 4 sections without detangling first. I alternated between warm and cool (warm for my roots, cool for the ends). I then used a bit of pomade on my scalp, applied a creamy moisturizer (Claudie's Isha Cream) and finger detangled each section. It worked out well. My NG/natural hair bunches into tiny coils with the shed hair so I had some knots to work out but I was pleased with the process. It isn't quick but it isn't stressful either and saturating the sections with product reduces breakage.

Essentially, detangling works best for me when I treat it the same way as I did natural hair - everything goes easier when the hair is stretched. Stretching out my new growth some with the blow dryer made all the difference.

 

[Honey01]

Oooohhh, I can so relate.

I am on what I call an "unintended transition". It started off unintended because I was indecisive on if I wanted to go natural or remain relaxed.

These tangles are the bane of my existence. I have tried whole gamut..washing in sections, pre-pooing, conditioners, rinsing in the shower. I still end up with mad tangles. Not as bad if I was to wash all my hair to the back, but still pretty bad.

I am certain it is because of the two textures. I "think" I heard someone explain that although you detangle, the "new growth" snaps back up the relaxed hair causing the tangles? Or something like that. I am still really looking for an explanation myself.

I retained much more length when I was fully relaxed. I was well on my way to mid-back length and am wondering if transitioning is doing me more harm than good.

I am probably at a point of no return. I increasingly becoming convinced that bc'ing is my only option. I believe it is too late to relax my 10 months of new growth AND hold on to my ends. I think there would be a considerable difference in textures with newly relaxed hair being thicker and healthier with the ends thin.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

Raspberry

I hope you do try it again and hopefully, it will work for you removing sheds, tangles and matting.

I know it worked great for me.

 

[BadMamaJama]

janeemat, try Mane n Tail detangler. It makes all the difference to help me comb my hair without losing all of it.

 

[janeemat]

Oooohhh, I can so relate.

I am on what I call an "unintended transition". It started off unintended because I was indecisive on if I wanted to go natural or remain relaxed.

These tangles are the bane of my existence. I have tried whole gamut..washing in sections, pre-pooing, conditioners, rinsing in the shower. I still end up with mad tangles. Not as bad if I was to wash all my hair to the back, but still pretty bad.

I am certain it is because of the two textures. I "think" I heard someone explain that although you detangle, the "new growth" snaps back up the relaxed hair causing the tangles? Or something like that. I am still really looking for an explanation myself.

I retained much more length when I was fully relaxed. I was well on my way to mid-back length and am wondering if transitioning is doing me more harm than good.

I am probably at a point of no return. I increasingly becoming convinced that bc'ing is my only option. I believe it is too late to relax my 10 months of new growth AND hold on to my ends. I think there would be a considerable difference in textures with newly relaxed hair being thicker and healthier with the ends thin.

Yepthis is my hair. I have been trying to figure this out in my mind all week.....it's crazy!

 

[janeemat]

@janeemat, try Mane n Tail detangler. It makes all the difference to help me comb my hair without losing all of it.

I have hear a lot about this. I'm going to put it on my list to try. I wish I could have picked it up today because I'm not going to be able to relax tomorrow like I had plan....This is not good.

 

[divachyk]

janeemat I am a tangler also and have been unable to stretch. You need to detangle really well pre-wash in sections and braid each section. Wash in braided sections. I unravel the braid and keep the three strands separated, wash and rebraid. I unravel, apply conditioner, lightly comb through and rebraid. This helps. ETA: here is my blog post about it.

 

[janeemat]

@janeemat I am a tangler also and have been unable to stretch. You need to detangle really well pre-wash in sections and braid each section. Wash in braided sections. I unravel the braid and keep the three strands separated, wash and rebraid. I unravel, apply conditioner, lightly comb through and rebraid. This helps. ETA: here is my blog post about it.

Thanks divachyk. I'm about to hop n the shower now to do my hair. I have it in three sections prepooping with cond on dry hair for the last 3 hrs. I'm glad I saw your post because now I will comb thru each section and detangle before I wash. I pray this does not turn into a nightmare on 17 wks post hair today. BTW your hair is absolutely beautiful.

 

[divachyk]

Thank you for the compliment janeemat.

Please report back and let me know how the wash session went.

 

[janeemat]

Let me just say this.....Saturday's wash was the worse EVERcrying3:And I am not kidding! It went so bad hours later I hopped back in the shower with dry hair....did a cowash....slapped one braid in it and called it a night. Thank God I had a wig that I could wear on Sunday. I dont' even want to talk about it right now. Some things only come through prayer and fasting.....and this is one of them. Be back later.

 

[Carmelella]

My advice is to always set angle in the shower under running water. Conditioner dries and just turns into a paste on hair which makes it hard to comb through if not very wet. When transitioning for ten months combing my 4b hair in sections under running water was the best. Hope it turns out alright, and I think u did the best thing by taking a break cuz frustration leads to ripping out here ( been there, done that)

 

[Americka]

I'm texlaxed & I stretch 16-20 weeks & my hair gets EXTREMELY tangled.

This thing SAVED MY LIFE. I love it so much, I ordered another one just in case the one I have breaks or they stop selling it. It's a chargeable electric detangler. It does all of the work for you, removes shed hair & it doesn't cause breakage. It costs less than $10, so don't even take my word for it. Just buy one & try it out. It will change ya life!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000JI9JYQ

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

I bought this today at Ross for $5. Haven't tried it yet, but even if it does not work for me, I can use on my niece's hair. Thanks for the tip.

Sent from my Toshiba Thrive

 

[BadMamaJama]

My advice is to always set angle in the shower under running water. Conditioner dries and just turns into a paste on hair which makes it hard to comb through if not very wet. When transitioning for ten months combing my 4b hair in sections under running water was the best. Hope it turns out alright, and I think u did the best thing by taking a break cuz frustration leads to ripping out here ( been there, done that)

I totally agree! I stretched to 10 weeks (don't laugh, I used to TU at 4 weeks) and combing my hair under the running water saved me! Not only could I comb through it, I lost almost no hair and I'm a shedder.

 

[sapphire18]

Someone explain to me why the relaxed hair gets so tangled when stretching please. I am beginning to wonder if something is wrong with my hair. And I am serious! My hair was nightmare tonight at only 16 wks or is it 14. Whatever...I use all of the necessary steps.....prepoo with oil, washed in 2 sections with a moisturizing poo, (kenra), porosity control for a couple of min, deep cond with Kenra cond, rinse on cool running shower comb through hair, add my leave in's, lacio, salerm 21, mizani therma strength. Now I begin to rollerset carefully handling my hair.....the nightmare begins....tangles, tangles, tangles. Can barely part my hair to roll it. The only reason that I have not relaxed yet is because I was waiting about 4 wks since I put a demi color in my hair. The entire while I'm talking to myself.....this is crazy....why do I put myself through this. I see ladies on here stretching years, and say they don's lose any hair when each week I lose a clob. I need to take a pic of the hair I lost. What's up with that? I really think that I am going back to my wicked ways of relaxing whenever I feel like it. What's the point in going through all of this, wearing a jacked up bun and I have yet to obtain that thick midback hair that I have been trying to achieve for years now. I might as well enjoy my swinging in the wind. And to think that one day I would like to transition to natural.......yeah right.

If your current regi isn't working, change it. What is working for other peoples hair won't necessarily work on yours. Nothing is wrong with your hair. If there is a big difference between your NG and your relaxed hair's texture you will have a lot of breakage when you stretch. If you want to you can try relaxing sooner. Two textures that are very different can only cause one thing... breakage. You can decide how often you need to relax based on how long you wait between coloring treatments.