It's not nappy, just curly

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Yes, you heard right. This is what a woman coworker just said to a male coworker about his hair. I almost futted the nuck up when I heard her. I swear I was seeing red. Wow you see, he has that silky "good stuff". So while I sit here with my dreadful naps pondering if I should say something just pray for me.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I stand corrected. She said "it's really curly, and it's not nappy either".

 

[natura87]

I'd stand up and say "What you got against nappy hair?"

Just up and call her out, make her the center of attention. Get loud, fingersnap, formation and all.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Don't tempt me!!!

 

[AHeadOfCoils]

I don't really get the problem. People use nappy when meaning tangled and curly hair has always been associated with tangles. I, personally, think you might be over thinking this.

Has she ever said anything about your hair?

 

[AHeadOfCoils]

I'd stand up and say "What you got against nappy hair?"

Just up and call her out, make her the center of attention. Get loud, fingersnap, formation and all.

No ma'am. If anyone in the office is not black, they would love to see a sista own that "ANGRY black woman" title. I know you're joking though.

 

[Nonie]

I'm lost.

Nappy (to me) = tightly curled. So if I heard "it's curly not nappy" I'd understand that to mean it's got big curls not small tiny ones. I'd not take offense or care. I own the fact that my hair is nappy. I've never looked at nappy the way many people look at it as meaning unkempt or matted hair. Matted hair doesn't appear to have coils/curls so I'd never refer to it as nappy. *shrug*.

My nappy hair look like wool or a cloud when viewed from afar:

My nappy hair is made of small curls which are only visible when my hair is viewed close up:

 

[melisandre]

I probably would have been offended if I had overheard that. It depends on the tone, though. She could have just said that his hair was curly and left it at that.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I am a huge fan of naps. But what I didn't appreciate us how she spun the word nappy into a perceived negative. It was like wow it's not nappy! Wtf

 

[Nonie]

Je Ne Sais Quoi, I still don't get it. It's as neutral a statement as someone saying, "Wow! You're not Ugandan; you're Kenyan!" Or "Wow! You're not American! You're British." None of those statements would imply one is better than the other, IMO. And likewise, "It's not nappy" would not bother me one bit. And that's because unlike many, that word has NEVER had any negative connotations to me. Not even after I found out how it came to be that it bothers so many. I still don't even flinch or react. It's as neutral as someone saying, "Wow! You're a grown woman! From the back I thought you were a teen!" *shrug*

 

[diadall]

All these threads about checking folks lately have me thinging to stay out... I would not want to get a, "was I talking to you?!?"

 

[manter26]

I don't see anything particularly negative about what she said either. My hair is nappy, I guess his isn't. *shrug*

OT: I've never seen "nutted" used in that context before.

 

[TrueToHair]

.........................

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Thanks for the opinions. I still am miffed. Humph!!!

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I understood exactly what you meant. It sounded like she was trying to reassure him that it was "curly, not nappy," as if nappy was bad.

I'm sorry, I can't act like there isn't a whole historical context to the word "nappy." Even though many black people have owned it as a neutral term for certain textures, it started out as a derogatory term.

This exactly! Ok you dont like naps but you know the broad in the very next cube has her naps large and in charge on display. Come on son.

 

[yorkpatties]

OT: I've never seen "nutted" used in that context before.

 

[NappyNelle]

Did she state it with THAT tone? While I am fine with my nappy hair (hence screen name!) some other people still use 'nappy' as an insult. If I'm sure the person did not mean 'nappy' in the neutral way, I check them politely: "Nappy hair and curly hair are beautiful? I know I love my hair. "

 

[yorkpatties]

Yes, you heard right. This is what a woman coworker just said to a male coworker about his hair. I almost futted the nuck up when I heard her. I swear I was seeing red. Wow you see, he has that silky "good stuff". So while I sit here with my dreadful naps pondering if I should say something just pray for me.

Not for nothin OP, I am just curious about the female coworker. Description please. Not that it should matter, just being nosey.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Not for nothin OP, I am just curious about the female coworker. Description please. Not that it should matter, just being nosey.

Generally speaking she is Hispanic, thick, long wavy pretty hair, mid to late 40s, *****.

 

[kinkycurlygurl]

Nappy and happy in the house!

 

[LuvlyLife]

Generally speaking she is Hispanic, thick, long wavy pretty hair, mid to late 40s, *****.

Lots of latino women have this attitude. I was ex friends with a latino who felt that some black women needed relaxers while others didn't.
It's a more hateful & offensive tone, as opposed to a black woman who has been taught to value "good hair" over "bad hair. I can see why you are offended.

 

[PretteePlease]

Quit ear hustlin

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Quit ear hustlin

Shut up!!

But for real, as loud as she said it i didnt need to ear hustle. As soon as she said it I gave out a loud "What?!?!?". My friend told me that he knew exactly what that was for when she left.

 

[HighAspirations]

Lol you was maaaadddd

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Lol you was maaaadddd

You know I was

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Girl some days you just have to look over special folks. People will try to do things on the sly in order to see if you respond. I'd ignore her and rock the heck out of that beautiful mane of yours.

I get what you're saying... and you usually can pick up when someone is purposely being a bit extra. I wouldn't have said a word. I would smile and keep it moving. You could go there with her, but what's the point? It would turn into a "she must be insecure" or "I must have struck a nerve huh?" thing. Unless she says something to you directly, let her continue to wallow in ignorance.

#Side note... I could imagine the look on your face when she said that. I still think back to that post where you looked straight salty. That was EPIC. hehe

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Girl some days you just have to look over special folks. People will try to do things on the sly in order to see if you respond. I'd ignore her and rock the heck out of that beautiful mane of yours.

I get what you're saying... and you usually can pick up when someone is purposely being a bit extra. I wouldn't have said a word. I would smile and keep it moving. You could go there with her, but what's the point? It would turn into a "she must be insecure" or "I must have struck a nerve huh?" thing. Unless she says something to you directly, let her continue to wallow in ignorance.

#Side note... I could imagine the look on your face when she said that. I still think back to that post where you looked straight salty. That was EPIC. hehe

You know I was hot!!!!! But as always thank you for your words of wisdom. She means nothing to me and I already know my hair is incredible. So I will leave it at that as long as she stays in her lane.

 

[Phaer]

Girl, she was probably trying to flirt with the guy and here you come messing up her game by getting offended. Lol

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I understood exactly what you meant. It sounded like she was trying to reassure him that it was "curly, not nappy," as if nappy was bad.

I'm sorry, I can't act like there isn't a whole historical context to the word "nappy." Even though many black people have owned it as a neutral term for certain textures, it started out as a derogatory term.

This. I love LHCF but sometimes ya'll get so caught up in the "bubble" that you forget we live in the real world. Yea it's real PC on the boards and nappy is a "cute" term now. But let someone come to into your office right now and say, "Girl you got some nappy hair!!!" We won't see your *** for a cool 90-120 days....

 

[discodumpling]

My hair IS nappy not curly. You still mad? LOL!

Think hard Jen...what's REALLY irking you about this chick? YOU come from LHCF nappy is not a word that should offend someone who is knowledgable about hair such as yourself.