"Its just hair!"

[empressri]

So true! Let me give you a fist bump and a high five!!!

*slaps Missigirl ten on the black hand side*

 

[Missigirl]

empressri

I have not heard that expression in a long time. You made me .

 

[SmilingElephant]

I'm like LexaKing....I too cringe when people say "it's just hair" because i understand a lot of ppl here never believed their hair would ever even reach their shoulders....but on the same token....i hate when people look at me because my hair seems to grow relatively fast and think i don't have to do as much to it for it to grow.

Before i came to the hair boards i stayed between SL and BSL...those were my lengths...mostly SL/APL but BSL was the longest i had ever been in my life pre-LHCF.

I had to come here and learn about the protein/moisture balance, deep conditioning, moisturizing and sealing to get my "then" relaxed hair to WL. I also learned how to properly comb my hair. And i got so used to wearing my hair up....i'm now paranoid when i have it down (straight) bc i'm afraid of damage.

I just don't find it fair when people discount my struggle too...just because my hair tends to grow fast....i too worry about breakage and split ends and SSK's.

to all w/ major hair troubles tho

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

Sorry you feel stressed out girl, you and I share hair goals so I feel for you! I was a good bsl this saturday, and the stylist trimmed my hair to sl.

And my parents were like 'It's just hair. Your hair is still long. You want hair like a white girl. You've got an inferiority complex.'

Like really!? How do I have an inferiority complex by wanting long hair!? No I JUST want MY hair to be long. Ugh!

 

[greenandchic]

WhippedButterCreme - I'm sorry a "stylist" cut your hair like that. Makes me not want to ever get a pro cut.

SmilingElephant - We all have our struggles one way or another. Thanks for the

empressri - Right on! Its a good reminder for me not to pay someone else the same favor.

IMFOCSD - You have beautiful hair!

Honey01 - Not a matter of life or death for sure, and I have a lot of more important things banging down my door, but this (the excess shedding) is the hair that's breaking the camels back. Between the MS, PCOS, and more minor, the adult acne and shedding, I feel like a mess sometimes.

 

[lilyofthenile]

I love this post b/c I can relate completely.

People wonder why I do all of these things with my hair - b/c I want to make sure it is healthy enough for me to retain it. People don't realise that others have to work harder to keep their hair than others.

If it's 'just hair' why are so many people working hard to get it to look a certain way? It's so much deeper than that.

 

[curlyninjagirl]

I, too, get annoyed at this saying. To me, it seems wholly untrue. I've seen women who claim this spend hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars on their hair in a year. That's more money than I would ever spend on my hair in TEN years and I darn near worship my hair.

Hair is extremely important to women as a source of self-esteem and on a more serious note, I have seen women devastated over true hair loss from health conditions or other circumstances. These women have felt they have been robbed of what makes them feel attractive and feminine. So when I hear women say "it's just hair", no offense, but to me it sounds like a load of crap.

 

[GIJane]

I agree. Honestly if it were "just hair" why is a woman's hair specifically mentioned in the Bible? Why can healthy, well styled hair boost someone's self esteem? Why is there a multi-billion dollar industry devoted to it? Several successful businesses online, including hair forums, devoted to it? I mean I do think the statement is ridiculous and have ALWAYS thought so. And the way in which it is used - like someone said - don't tell me its just hair when I'm frustrated. I get annoyed with those who have long hair or for whom growth and retention are fast and easy when they say this.

I'll admit I have said it ONCE when I was really upset about a setback but it was to keep myself from going off the deep end about it. I had to give myself a reality check in that its not worth going into a deep depression over and can't get me into heaven or send me to hell! Literally I had to go that extreme because I was quite upset over my setback. But in the way I used "its just hair" it was very obvious that it wasn't just hair to me and that I was just trying to keep myself balanced! lol

Sorry you feel stressed out girl, you and I share hair goals so I feel for you! I was a good bsl this saturday, and the stylist trimmed my hair to sl.

And my parents were like 'It's just hair. Your hair is still long. You want hair like a white girl. You've got an inferiority complex.'

Like really!? How do I have an inferiority complex by wanting long hair!? No I JUST want MY hair to be long. Ugh!

I was here last year. On my way to BSL and then dominican stylist cut my hair all the way to shoulder length. She was suppose to be trimming the ends. I even showed her how much to cut off. I asked her did she understand. She said yes. Then proceeded to show me how much she was only going to cut off. Ok so we are on the same page, right. Wrong. I should have known she was doing something she wasn't suppose to do because she turned me from the mirror so I couldn't see. Then I looked over at one of the other customers face and seen her shake her head and look away. When I got up from the chair and looked in the mirror I noticed that she cut me to shoulder length. So I did and said somethings that I regretted and just got ignorant in the salon. Yeah I had a ghetto ignorant moment. Did and said somethings I am not proud of today. Of course several other people said "it just hair." So I got indignant with them as well. Wasn't my best moment.

After having several setbacks afterwards. I would say to myself "its just hair" it could be worse. To encourage myself. Let me know that I cam overcome this.

But yes I think that it is insensitive for others to say it. Especially when you are clearly upset about it. Its the way how people say it. If they are saying it to console me. I would be more receptive. But if they are saying it to try to downplay my emotions about it. Or to try to say I am being over dramatic. Yeah I have a real problem with that.

 

[reeko43]

First OP, I have my own shedding issues so I can certainly relate and my heart goes out to you.

I do think "it's just hair" in situations where I see hair being used against one another. All of that You're not a true natural because you colored your hair or your hair is 3a", "You are ignorant or insecure if you perm your hair", "My permed hair looks better than your naps" makes me feel that hair is just hair and not something significant enough to divide us.

 

[D.N.A.]

Depends on the context, I guess. If we're talking about trivializing another person's feelings, then I can understand the objection. Otherwise, it doesn't annoy me, at all. If that's how a person feels about their own hair, then that's how they feel and I don't see the big deal about that. But OP, I realize this was a vent and I wish you the best with your hair. I got SSKs for days, no matter what I do, so I understand your frustration.

 

[IMFOCSD]

First OP, I have my own shedding issues so I can certainly relate and my heart goes out to you.

I do think "it's just hair" in situations where I see hair being used against one another. All of that You're not a true natural because you colored your hair or your hair is 3a", "You are ignorant or insecure if you perm your hair", "My permed hair looks better than your naps" makes me feel that hair is just hair and not something significant enough to divide us.

I def agree w/the underlined statement.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

I definitely don't think it's "just hair." It's important. It can affect your confidence, self-esteem, etc. With all the complaints about how black hair won't grow, grows slowly, is difficult to retain length, and so on, I can't see how anyone could say "oh it's just hair" to someone who just had 3+ inches hacked off. I mean if it took you 2 years to grow to BSL, that's a significant amount of time and effort. Of course it will grow back, but that means you have to spend another year or more getting back to your goal, instead of just maintaining. It's a big deal, especially for someone who is a slow grower.

 

[kandiekj100]

I don't use the phrase often but I have said. The thing is that relaxed and natural, I've cut my hair on a numerous occasions. So now I'll have family members (namely my great aunt) who will say "oh you better not cut off all that hair again" or when I have cut it, "I can't believe you cut off all that hair". My response, "I like to switch it up, and besides, it's just hair. It'll grow back". I don't mean it to be snarky, I just kind of say it matter of fact and shrug my shoulders. I mean it is MY hair though. I should be able to cut or shave it off if I want without being given the side-eye or third degree.

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

After having several setbacks afterwards. I would say to myself "its just hair" it could be worse. To encourage myself. Let me know that I cam overcome this.

But yes I think that it is insensitive for others to say it. Especially when you are clearly upset about it. Its the way how people say it. If they are saying it to console me. I would be more receptive. But if they are saying it to try to downplay my emotions about it. Or to try to say I am being over dramatic. Yeah I have a real problem with that.

Why does it seem like every 'trim' AA ladies get seem to be a cut!? Like if people honestly took off 1/2-1 inch, I could be chill.

A trim means your hair is the same length you had when you first came in! lol! When I came back from my 'trim' my bro looked at me and said, 'You cut your hair? I thought you were growing it'

Also every time I've been told 'it's just hair' it's never been in a consoling way. More like a 'you need to get over it' kind of way.

I don't get it...An AA woman tries to care for her hair and she's labeled as 'vain' or trying to be something she's not. But if an AA woman's hair is short from damage, dry, and has edges more jagged then the alps, then she's okay.

 

[My Friend]

Even she like's to make sure her hair is together while swimming.

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

Even she like's to make sure her hair is together while swimming.

OMG....

 

[abbygirl]

sorry you feel this way OP but to me personally "it is just hair" my well being comes first, hair will always grow, if i fall ill and loose an organ,my organ will not grow back.

I guess for someone who gives their hair a lot of TLC- it will be more than just hair- an investment perhaps.

my regimen is very very simple and i could care less if i lose length due to a bad trim, dye job etc...this is not to say i do not care for /style my hair or admire ladies with longer hair than i have.

 

[greenandchic]

sorry you feel this way OP but to me personally "it is just hair" my well being comes first, hair will always grow, if i fall ill and loose an organ,my organ will not grow back.

I guess for someone who gives their hair a lot of TLC- it will be more than just hair- an investment perhaps.

my regimen is very very simple and i could care less if i lose length due to a bad trim, dye job etc...this is not to say i do not care for /style my hair or admire ladies with longer hair than i have.

Hopefully I will get to that point, LOL. I don't constantly obess over it which is probably why I'm thrown when I notice thinning and loss.

 

[LunaGorgeous]

"It's just hair" to me is ALWAYS a subjective and slightly offensive statement, and one that does NOT apply to me...lol...And that's because I'm sick, and have to now take medications. All the changes in my body, hormones, and immune system are causing my hair to shed profusely and CONSTANTLY. It annoys me to see otherwise healthy hair in clumps everywhere...But it won't stop anytime soon, until I get better, which is at least a year from now.

 

[HoneyDew]

I think it depends on a person's life too. I have lupus and I have issues with my skin, scalp and hair that can drive me crazy if I let it get to me. I am just happy that I am healthy and my major organs are not affected by lupus. I have seen people who really are sick and they have the same thing I have. So yeah, it's just hair. I do worry about my hair and skin a lot and I take care to do what I can to keep them and the rest of my body healthy, but I am so over making a huge huge deal about it. I enjoy taking care of my hair. I want to look nice. I want to feel good aboout myself. That is the bottom line for me.

 

[Aireen]

I think the phrase can be used with a positive or negative connotation. I do say it and think it many times in both respects. I also do think it's easier for those with longer hair to say it versus those with shorter hair, myself included. Yes, for me it's more than just hair so I have to kind of talk myself into saying the phrase when I get obsessive. If I stumble upon something that's just too bizarre on LHCF though, best believe I will say it and expect people to take TWO seats. Exhibit A: This thread was doing FAR TOO MUCH. I don't care if it's a joke or not, it's just hair, we don't need to go this hard.

 

[regina07]

I have said "it's just hair" many times about my own hair and probably have said "it's hair; it'll grow!" to someone to console her after a bad cut. I've cut it all off, dyed it red, dyed it blonde, put every type of relaxer, texturizer, etc on it. Whenever someone (usually a hair-protective family member) scolded me for messing with my hair again, I'd say "it's only hair."

And when a well-meaning friend had me try RIO produts only to have my hair fall out in clumps 3 months later, I said, "It's just hair." yes I was upset and yes I was worried it might not grow to the same length it had been ... but that's what short cuts or wigs are for! It's a perspective thing for me.

OP - I get that you don't want to hear people say to you "It's only hair" because that's dismissive of your concerns. In those moments, we have to stay focused on the prize - healthy beautiful hair.

 

[greenandchic]

"It's just hair" to me is ALWAYS a subjective and slightly offensive statement, and one that does NOT apply to me...lol...And that's because I'm sick, and have to now take medications. All the changes in my body, hormones, and immune system are causing my hair to shed profusely and CONSTANTLY. It annoys me to see otherwise healthy hair in clumps everywhere...But it won't stop anytime soon, until I get better, which is at least a year from now.

I am so sorry you're going through this. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

I think the phrase can be used with a positive or negative connotation. I do say it and think it many times in both respects. I also do think it's easier for those with longer hair to say it versus those with shorter hair, myself included. Yes, for me it's more than just hair so I have to kind of talk myself into saying the phrase when I get obsessive. If I stumble upon something that's just too bizarre on LHCF though, best believe I will say it and expect people to take TWO seats. Exhibit A: This thread was doing FAR TOO MUCH. I don't care if it's a joke or not, it's just hair, we don't need to go this hard.

Yes, the sperm thread - no thank you!